Hardly a Husband

by Rebecca Hagan Lee

  "All of them?" Griff began to laugh.

  "All, except a pair of brief drawers," Courtland said.

  "What did you do with them?" Jarrod asked.

  "Got 'em at my house," Barclay declared proudly. "When the blighter apologizes to Miss Eckersley for causing her so much trouble, I'll gladly allow him to reclaim them."

  Jarrod smiled. By the time Dunbridge apologized, Miss Eckersley would be Lady Shepherdston. "Thank you," he said.

  "Our pleasure," Courtland answered. "In more ways than one."

  "Just one thing," Griffin added. "Sir?"

  "Next time you take it upon yourselves to stop a duel, kindly send word so the rest of us won't be freezing our arses off at daybreak when we could be home in bed."

  "Be thankful you didn't have to lug Dunbridge home," Barclay said. "Or pick up all the clothing we tossed out the window."

  "Fair enough," Griff agreed.

  Jarrod returned to the topic at hand. "Now that we know what happened to Dunbridge, let's turn our attention to Sussex."

  The other Free Fellows nodded.

  "Since we've heard nothing, we've no choice but to assume the worst and begin our investigation." Jarrod nodded toward Barclay. "He's our blood brother, but he's your cousin. Find out what's happened to him."

  "All right."

  He related to Barclay and Courtland the details about the letter from King Joseph of Spain that Gillian had deciphered before Lady Garrison's party, then nodded to Griff. "His Grace will be addressing the men at Whitehall about the need for a permanent training facility for cipherers."

  Griff grinned.

  Jarrod turned to Alex Courtland. "I won't be able to make the next smuggling run for I've other more pressing personal business at hand."

  Courtland nodded.

  Jarrod continued, "With Sussex missing and Barclay assigned to find him, we'll need you to make the trip to the coast."

  "Jolly good," Courtland agreed.

  "Grantham and Lady Grantham will continue their work on the cipher codes."

  "What about you?" Barclay asked. Shepherdston usually took a lion's share of the work. Barclay assumed Shepherdston's pressing personal business involved Miss Eckersley for he and Courtland had heard the commotion when Avon, Grantham, and Shepherdston entered the club. And a gentleman did what a gentleman must do in order to preserve a lady's reputation, but Barclay found it odd that Shepherdston had neglected to mention the nature of his pressing business.

  "Me?" Jarrod queried.

  "What's your assignment?" Courtland asked. Jarrod grinned. "I'm going shopping."

  * * *

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

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  Love knows nothing of order.

  — Saint Jerome, c.342-420

  The gifts began arriving at Ibbetson's as soon as Sarah returned from Lord and Lady Mayhew's wedding.

  She'd been invited to accompany Aunt Etta and Lord Rob to Lord Rob's home for breakfast, but Sarah knew enough about passion and desire to know that three was a crowd when you'd waited twenty years for a wedding and honeymoon.

  She had volunteered to return to the hotel and pack up their belongings and Precious and Budgie for the move to Lord Mayhew's home, where she'd be joining them for dinner that evening. She was packing Aunt Etta's black dresses in her portmanteau when the first knock sounded on the door.

  She opened it to find a footman standing there.

  "I've a delivery for Miss Eckersley."

  "I'm Miss Eckersley," she told him. "But are you certain it's not for Lady Dunbridge? I mean, Lady Dunbridge who just married the Earl of Mayhew?"

  "No, miss," he answered, handing her a thick cream-colored envelope engraved with the Marquess of Shepherdston's seal.

  Her name was written on the front in a thick, bold script. Sarah opened it and read: Please accept this token of my esteem and my sincerest apologies for forgetting our anniversary. Jays.

  Sarah was bewildered. She looked up at the footman. "Thank you for bringing it," she said. "And please thank his lordship."

  "He told me to tell you to look out the window, miss."

  Sarah walked over to the only window that faced the street, pulled back the drapes, and looked down.

  A beautiful carriage drawn by a matched set of gray horses and complete with driver and footman was parked below. On the seat of the carriage was a huge bow. The driver looked up and waved. Sarah turned back to the footman. "You can't mean that that… "

  "Happy anniversary, miss," the footman said.

  "It's beautiful."

  "It's yours, miss," the footman told her. "As are we. I'm Edwards. The other footman is Cooper. And the driver is — "

  "Mr. Birdwell!" Sarah exclaimed as she recognized the driver.

  "Yes, miss." Edwards nodded. "His lordship asked me to relay the message that he's trusting you not to leave London until he can apologize in person."

  Sarah beamed. "You may tell his lordship that I'm not going anywhere until he apologizes in person."

  "He'll be by later to do so." Edwards bowed. "Good morning, miss."

  Sarah reached for her change purse, but Edwards shook his head. "No need, miss," he said. "I've been amply compensated." He withdrew from the doorway and closed the door after him.

  Sarah waltzed about the room, then returned to the window and stared out at her beautiful carriage. She was still admiring it when a second knock sounded on the door.

  She opened it to find a wizened little man dressed in the Marquess of Shepherdston's livery standing in the doorway. "I've a delivery for Miss Eckersley," he announced.

  "I'm Miss Eckersley."

  "This is for you, miss." He stepped away from the door, out of her line of sight for a moment, then presented her with a beautiful black leather lady's saddle.

  "I don't ride," she said.

  "May I?" the groom asked, nodding toward the sofa.

  "Yes, of course." Sarah stepped back to allow the groom to deposit the saddle on the sofa.

  He carefully placed the saddle on the arm of the sofa, then produced a cream-colored envelope engraved with the Marquess of Shepherdston's seal from inside his blouse and handed it to her.

  Her name was written on the front in a thick, bold script. Sarah opened it and read: Please accept this token of my esteem and my sincerest apologies for neglecting to give you your Easter gifts. Jays. P.S. Look outside your window.

  Sarah rushed to the window and looked down.

  The footman, Edwards, stood behind the carriage holding the lead of a beautiful golden yellow horse who wore a big red ribbon tied around her neck. Edwards looked up and waved. Sarah waved back.

  "His lordship asked me to tell you your new saddle is worthless unless it has a worthy mount beneath it."

  "She's beautiful!" Sarah gushed.

  "He's an eight-year-old gelding and will make you an excellent first horse, miss. His name is Merlin and he'll keep you safe while you learn to ride."

  "I can't wait!"

  The groom smiled. "His lordship knew that you would say that. He asked me to tell you that he trusts that you will not attempt to ride off until he can accompany you."

  There it was again. The word trust. Sarah nodded. "You may tell his lordship that I am most trustworthy."

  "Yes, miss." The groom doffed his hat. "I'm Toby, miss," he told her. "I'm the head groom at his lordship's stables and I trust that you will allow me to teach you to ride."

  "I'd be honored," she said, softly, awed by the magnitude of Jarrod's generosity.

  And there was more…

  She accepted deliveries for the next two hours. She received a basket with a male spaniel puppy for her birthday and a soft orange furry kitten to mark the New Year, both of which promptly curled up beside her on the sofa and fell asleep. She received a huge bouquet of hothouse roses and a diamond tiara for Valentine's. A fur muff to mark Epiphany. A box of beautifully embroidered linen handkerchiefs and three silk shawls for Lady Day. A leatherbound set o
f Shakespeare for Christmas, and a gorgeous porcelain doll for her sixth natal day.

  She burst into tears when she read the note that accompanied the red-haired, brown-eyed doll. Please accept this token of my esteem and my sincerest apologies. I know you no longer play with dolls, but I remembered that you desperately wanted one for your sixth natal day and I was too ignorant and arrogant at the time to purchase it for you. Please forgive me for not realizing how much you meant to me and how much you will always mean to me. Jays.

  She didn't think there was anything else he could give her that would touch her heart as much as that doll and his note, until she answered a knock on the door and found Jarrod's butler standing in the doorway.

  "I'm Henderson," he said. "London butler to the Marquess of Shepherdston."

  "Yes, I know."

  "I have a delivery for Miss Eckersley," he said. "I'm Miss Eckersley," she answered. "Follow me." He turned and walked to the suite of rooms next door to hers. Sarah followed.

  "Before I open the door, miss, please allow me to apologize for my rudeness the other evening," Henderson said.

  Sarah blushed. "Please don't mention it, Mr. Henderson," she said. "You had every right to be suspect of my outrageous behavior. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, for it was never my intent to cause consternation to Lord Shepherdston's staff." Her brown eyes twinkled as she added, "Only to Lord Shepherdston."

  Henderson forgot himself long enough to smile. "Then, I congratulate you, miss, for you've succeeded far beyond your wildest dreams." He opened the door and motioned for her to precede him, then closed the door behind her.

  "I've a delivery for Miss Eckersley."

  Sarah turned at the sound of Jarrod's voice. He stood in the doorway between a sitting room and a bedchamber, wearing a black traveling cloak that covered him from shoulders to midway down his polished black boots.

  "I'm Miss Eckersley."

  "This is for you, miss." He reached in the pocket of his cape and drew out a small black velvet box and offered it to her.

  Sarah's hands shook when she opened it. "Oh, Jarrod," she gasped when the opened lid revealed a single flawless heart-shaped diamond set in a gold ring. It wasn't a huge stone by the ton's standards, but the heart shape and the high quality of the diamond made it extraordinary. The fact that Jarrod was offering it to her made it priceless.

  Without saying a word, Jarrod handed her a cream-colored envelope engraved with his seal.

  Sarah handed Jarrod the ring as she tore open the envelope and read what he'd written: Please accept this token of my esteem and my sincerest apologies for always taking and never giving. I love you, Sarah. I will always love you. And I will always regret that it took me so long to realize it. Will you do me the honor of becoming my marchioness?

  Tears sparkled on her lashes and ran down her cheeks when she looked up from the note, but she was smiling and Jarrod took that to be a good sign.

  "No."

  Jarrod was momentarily stunned. But he should have known Sarah wouldn't make it easy for him. Not this time. Not after last night. "Why not?"

  "This is all too overwhelming. And your decision to court me is much too sudden," Sarah told him. "I need time to consider it."

  "Sudden?" Jarrod burst out laughing. "You've been courting me for nearly eighteen years! How can this be too sudden?"

  "What's sudden is that now you're attempting to court me."

  "This is more than an attempt," he told her. "For now, I am courting you — in earnest." Jarrod looked at her.

  "Why?" she demanded. "Because I know about your precious league? Because you think you can purchase my trust with magnificent gifts? Or is this your way of keeping your promise to Aunt Etta and Lord Mayhew and absolving your guilt because my name has been bandied about White's because of your duel and your wager with Dunbridge?"

  "No."

  "Then, tell me, Jarrod, why are you proposing to me today instead of yesterday. Why now?"

  "Because I didn't realize I loved you yesterday!" he exclaimed. "I was too arrogant and stupid to realize I loved you yesterday. I only realized it this morning when I thought it was too late." He stared into her eyes. "But I do love you, Sarah," he said. "I love you with all my heart. I love you because the world is a better place when I'm with you. Because I find myself laughing and smiling and thinking of things I'd like to tell you at the oddest moments. Because you love me warts and all and because you make me feel there's nothing in the world I can't accomplish so long as I have you. Even when I'm trembling in my boots at the thought of marriage, I know I want you beside me for the rest of my life. I want to be your husband as well as your lover and I want you to share my name as well as my bed. I want you to spend your life with me and I want us to sit at home in the evenings and think about the sexes and names of our unborn children." He took a deep breath. "My mother murdered my father and the housekeeper when I was sixteen, then turned the gun on herself. She committed an act of madness and before she died, she told me that I look after her side of the family." He closed his eyes, then opened them again and stared down at Sarah. "I swore never to marry. Never to lose my heart or take the risk of passing that madness on to my children. I swore that the Shepherdston and Blackheath lines would die with me because I was afraid that love and marriage had caused it. But I've learned that what my parents had wasn't love. It was something else. Something twisted and dark that had no place in a loving marriage. I'm not afraid of the dark anymore, Sarah. You showed me what love is, and now, I can't imagine my life without you, because I want to learn more about love and I want to share everything I learn with you." He sighed. "I didn't intend my gifts as bribes. I wasn't trying to purchase your love or your loyalty. I've always had those precious gifts. I was only trying to give you the moon and the stars and my heart." He took the ring out of the box and dropped to one knee. "Will you marry me and make something of this man who is hardly good enough to be your husband and lover?" She nodded.

  "Say it, please," he begged.

  "It's the least I can do."

  "Sarah…"

  "It's the least I can do to save the man I love." She smiled at him. "I love you, Jays, and I'd be honored to marry you and become your wife and lover and marchioness."

  "Thank God," Jarrod breathed, slipping the ring onto the third finger of her left hand. "I've got a special license. I can send for a vicar right now and we can have a wedding right here and honeymoon at Shepherdston Hall until I have to return, but I thought you might prefer to be married in your father's church in Helford Green tomorrow…"

  "I would," she admitted. "But I hate the thought of Reverend Tinsley marrying us and he's the rector now."

  "He won't be by the time we reach Helford Green," Jarrod said. "The archbishop wouldn't sell me the benefice, but we negotiated the removal of Reverend Tinsley in ex-change for my promise not to withdraw the funds for a new wing of the cathedral in Bath. We decided Reverend Ingram from the village of Ashford would do nicely."

  "Oh, yes!" Sarah flung her arms around his neck and covered his face with kisses.

  "You won't mind consummating our vows before we take them?" he asked between kisses.

  "Of course not," she told him. "I've seen the papers, Jays. I'm already ruined. I might as well enjoy it."

  "Good," he announced, "because I've another present for you and I would feel very foolish if you'd decided differently." He untied the cords of his traveling cape and let it fall to the floor, revealing himself to her in all his naked glory — except for his boots. "You came to me in your nightclothes and asked me to be your lover," he reminded her, quickly toeing off his boots and kicking them aside. "I thought it only fitting that I do likewise."

  "Oh?" She arched her eyebrow in an imitation of him.

  "I've come to give you lessons, Miss Eckersley." He closed the space between them.

  "In seduction?" she asked, breathlessly pulling his face down to hers.

  "No," he whispered. "In making love."

  * * *r />
  Epilogue

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  Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.

  — Proverbs 18:22

  They were married by special license in the church at Helford Green by the Reverend Ingram two days later, having spent the first night of their honeymoon in London in Jarrod's room at Ibbetson's Hotel.

  Sarah emerged from Ibbetson's on the morning of her wedding day, well and truly practiced in the art of making love courtesy of her teacher, Jarrod, Lord Shepherdston.

  What had seemed impossible just days earlier, had come to pass.

  Sarah Eckersley, the rector's daughter from Helford Green, had become Lord Shepherdston's mistress — if only for the one night before she became his wife. And Sarah loved every moment of her educational, liberating, and wildly passionate fall from grace.

  She awoke in Jarrod's arms to find that Henderson had delivered Jarrod's idea of breakfast — coffee and French pastries from Gunter's on Berkeley Square.

  They made the journey to Helford Green in record time and resumed their honeymoon at Shepherdston Hall shortly after the wedding.

  Other gifts awaited her at Shepherdston Hall. For Jarrod had included the return of her family's furnishings from the rectory in his negotiations with the archbishop over the removal of Reverend Tinsley. And Pomfrey, the butler at Shepherdston Hall, had made a place for all of them in her new home.

  Sarah was welcomed home to Shepherdston Hall and greeted as if she had always belonged there.

  But their idyllic honeymoon there was necessarily brief.

  Although he couldn't tell her everything, Jarrod told her as much as he could. He explained that the Free Fellows League had grown from a secret childhood club to an indispensable secret weapon in the fight against Bonaparte. He explained that while he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life making love to her at Shepherdston Hall, there were lives at stake and he was needed in London. There was a leak of information in the War Office and he was determined to stop it.