And that hurt more than I wanted to admit.
5
Dean
“I'm telling you, he just wouldn't look at me for longer than five seconds at a time.”
Shane stirred his coffee without looking up. “Did you do something to him?”
It was the same question I’d asked myself over and over since parting with Griff the day before. What had I done? Had I creeped him out somehow? I’d tried my best not to stare at him or be weird in any way, and I liked to think that I succeeded too.
“I can't think of anything. I spent most of the time playing with the kids, honestly.” The memory put a smile on my lips. It had taken Conner a little bit to warm up, but in the end, it had seemed like he was having fun. Griff and I had accomplished our mission. “You should have seen Conner. He actually laughed.”
Shane looked up at that. “He did?” His features softened. He put on a tough façade most of the time, but he did care about his kids. He was just a bit lost on what to do sometimes, but then, so was I. “That's good,” he said. “Mary spent a whole day yesterday singing a new nursery rhyme she’s learned. She's a lot like Ron, you know. He'd sing all the time.”
“I remember.” I hadn't met Ron often, but his vibrant personality was hard to forget, and I sincerely hoped Mary would keep his spirit alive.
God knew this family needed all the cheer it could get.
“It would be good if Conner could make a friend,” Shane said.
I had to agree. The boy needed to get out more. “Jake invited him to his house,” I mentioned. “Maybe you should call his dad and see if you can set something up. Griff told me Jake doesn't have a lot of friends either. I'm sure they'd be happy to have your boy over.”
“I'll do that. Thank you.” He sipped at his coffee and I did the same. “I've been thinking maybe it really is time for all of us to be moving forward. It's been a year.”
“Yeah, I get what you're saying.” I had things to get over as well. Though mostly I was just running from them by being here.
“Actually, I kind of have a favor to ask of you.”
“A favor?” I raised an eyebrow at my cousin. “You know I'll help with whatever you need.”
“Very generous.” He grinned. “I guess then you'll have no objections to going on a double date with me.”
Excuse me? “A what?”
“C'mon, it'll be fun.”
“What are you talking about? Who do you want to date and why can't you go by yourself?”
He sighed. “I would, but you know, I'm rusty, man. I'd probably make a fool of myself.”
I shook my head. Where was all this coming from? “Who are you talking about?”
“The Maden brothers from up the street.”
I tilted my head, searching my brain for any recollection of those two, but nothing came up aside from maybe passing them on the street once or twice.
“The older one asked me out,” Shane continued. “And I know his brother has a thing for you. Then again, that's no surprise. All the omegas in town have a thing for you.”
“Not all the omegas in town.” Specifically, not the one I wanted and who'd spent all of our outing yesterday avoiding me.
“You need to get over that crush of yours,” Shane said, guessing at what I was talking about. “This'll be good for both of us.”
I sighed. He might have a point there. I wasn’t getting anywhere with Griff. I was only weirding him out and hurting our friendship—and I really didn’t want to lose him as a friend, even if I couldn’t have him as a lover. He’d faded out of my life once, and now that I had him back, I didn’t want to let that happen again. He made my days brighter just by being around. I didn’t even have to make out with him to get that effect. Being friends was enough. I just needed to make sure my heart got the message. “Who’s going to watch the kids?”
Shane thought for a moment. “I’m sure I can get a babysitter. I could call my mother, if all else fails. She’d be happy to hear I’m dating again.”
He was probably right about that. Aunt Stephanie worried a lot about how her son was faring after the loss of his spouse. We all worried, to be honest. He was doing much better now than he had been a few months ago, but I knew the scars on his heart would take longer to heal, and so I had to ask. “Are you sure you’re ready, though?”
He didn’t answer immediately, and then he gave me a shrug. “Honestly? I don’t know. But there’s only one way to find out.”
I rubbed my temples. There was no way I was going to get out of this without a guilty conscience, was there?
“Fine, I'll go. For you.” I wasn’t a big fan of blind dates, but if it helped my cousin move on I could suffer one evening.
How bad could it be?
6
Griffin
I hadn’t talked to Dean in two days and I was getting antsy. Every time the phone rang, I jumped. But it was never Dean.
Impatient for anything to happen, I paced around the living room.
Had I pissed Dean off by avoiding him that day by the lake? I must have. Maybe I should call and apologize. But I still didn’t know how to explain myself without admitting to my secret crush—which would ruin everything even if it was reciprocated. I couldn’t date anyone if my first instinct was to tug my tail between my legs and run like a scared puppy when things turned interesting.
It was absolutely ridiculous. Not every alpha was out to take advantage of me, but the rational side of things didn’t seem to matter much to the part of me that was terrified.
Clearly, something was wrong with me.
I wanted to die of embarrassment at just the thought of telling anyone about this. Thank God the one or two people I’d run off on in the past had kept their mouths shut. Nobody liked to talk about how they’d been rejected, I guess.
My cell phone rang and pulled me out of my reverie. Sadly, it wasn’t Dean. The caller ID said Eli.
“Hey,” I answered the phone. I’d expected my brother to be on the other end of the line, but instead I was greeted by the cheerful voice of my nephew.
“Uncle Griff! Guess what!”
“Your daddy doesn’t know you stole his phone?” I joked.
“Nooo. Wrong! Try again!”
“Uh…” I flopped on the couch. “You’ve decided that you want to become a firefighter?”
“I’m totally going to be a firefighter!” Of course. “But that’s not it! I’m going to be in the play this year.”
“The school play? That’s awesome!” He’d tried to be in it once before when he was seven, but then some misbehavior on his part had gotten him kicked off. It was nice to know he got another chance this year. His behavior in school had improved and he deserved it.
“I have like five lines! I’m a dwarf.”
“Awesome,” I said again. “I’m sure you’ll be the best dwarf ever.”
“Yeah! Daddy is helping with the costumes. And you need to help with the props.”
I needed to what? “What props?”
“Somebody has to do the uh… wait,” he said, and then I heard him yell for his daddy. A minute later, I heard some rustling as the phone was handed over from Jake to my brother.
“Hey, Griff. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine. What’s that I hear about doing props?”
“I’m sorry about that. I offered to help with the costumes, and Jake’s got it into his head that you need to be involved too. Matt got off easy. He only has to read lines with Jake, and honestly, there aren’t that many lines. He's even tried to rope Olivia into it, but she's having none of it. Just threw all her toys at him. I'm fearing I might have another alpha on my hands.”
I had to laugh at that. “Wouldn't that be wonderful?” I asked, remembering all the trouble Eli had gone through with Jake when the boy had first expressed his alpha tendencies.
“Don't mock me.” But Eli was laughing too. “Anyway, apparently the guy who usually does the props can't do it this year, so
Jake's teacher asked if we knew anyone who could spring in.”
“And that would be me?” Lovely.
“C'mon, it could be fun, and it would mean so much to the kids. I remember you used to love being in these plays when you were that age.”
I cringed, because I remembered too. One year I'd been a mushroom and I'd worn that costume everywhere, feeling like some kind of fungal super-hero.
Eli was right. Every kid deserved the opportunity to make memories that would embarrass them as adults.
“Okay, okay, I'll do it.”
“Great! There's a meeting at the school that you should come to next Thursday at six. I hope to see you there.”
“I'll be there.”
“Cool.” And that concluded the call. As soon as Eli hung up, I found myself staring at the phone.
Should I call Dean? Shouldn't I?
Oh for fuck's sake, just do it.
Before I could change my mind again, I scrolled through the contact list and hit call on Dean's name.
He answered the phone almost immediately—way before I could decide to hang up again.
“Griff?”
“Yeah, hi, it's me.”
“What's up?”
“I just uh... kind of wanted to apologize.”
“What do you have to apologize for?” Dean asked, and I wasn't sure exactly what to say.
“Just the way I behaved Saturday,” I said eventually. “I know I wasn't being super friendly.”
“I did wonder about that,” Dean admitted. “But thought maybe I'd imagined it.”
“No, you didn't. I'm sorry. I wasn't... feeling well.” Or, in fact, feeling a little too well when looking at his wet and half-naked body.
“It's okay. I hope you're feeling better.”
“Yeah, I am. Thank you.” I exhaled, so relieved to be done with this part of the conversation.
“You should know Conner has a play date with Jake this week.”
“Really?” That news made me smile. “That's good.”
“Yeah. My cousin seems really happy about it too. He's doing better recently. Maybe a little too well.” Dean laughed, making me wonder what he was talking about.
“How do you mean?”
“He's decided to put himself out there again.”
“That's good.” A huge step forward for Shane.
“Yeah, but he wants me to help him, so he's making me go on a double date with him.”
That... wasn't so good. Dean was going on a date? With who?
Not that it really mattered, because whoever they were, they weren't me. And that was the crux, wasn't it? Even if I didn't want to admit it, I hated the thought of Dean going on a date with someone who wasn't me. Which was, of course, utterly selfish of me, because I wasn't going to date him either.
“Griff?” Dean asked, and I realized that I hadn't spoken in too long. “Do you have a problem with me going on a date?” His tone turned quite serious, like he would cancel that date if I just said so.
But I couldn't ask that of him, could I?
Shit.
“No,” I said, hoping my voice didn't sound as upset as I felt. Damn it, I always knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Dean was too handsome to stay single forever. “Why would I have a problem?” I forced a laugh even though my heart ached. “You should enjoy yourself. When is this date?”
“Saturday.”
Saturday... Okay, I needed to put a big bottle of wine on my Saturday shopping list. Or maybe something stronger.
7
Dean
“How do I look?” my cousin asked, presenting himself in his outfit for the night about half an hour before we were supposed to pick up our dates.
“You look great.” My cousin was a handsome man, objectively speaking, and he'd picked out a good outfit. Well-fitting jeans with a blue shirt which accented his light eyes and ginger hair without making him look pale.
“Are you nervous?” I asked because I’d never known Shane to be one to fidget.
“Are you?” he gave back.
I shook my head. I had no reason to be nervous about this date. The only thing that slightly unsettled me was the way Griff had reacted when I'd told him about it. “I'm only doing this for you,” I said.
That didn't seem to satisfy him. “It's not like nothing good can come off this date for you.”
“I guess.” I sighed, rubbing my temples. Griff said he had no problem with me going on a date, even when I'd given him a chance to tell me not to go. That meant he was fine with me dating other people, didn’t it? So there was no reason not to make the most of this date, even if I didn’t really feel like it. And I really didn’t feel like it.
“For what it's worth, you look nice too,” my cousin said.
“Thanks.” I gave him a smile. I'd put on nice clothes because I hadn't wanted to be disrespectful to my date. I could put in a little effort, at least. And I'd been told at least once that my ass looked absolutely edible in these jeans.
I wondered if Griff would agree with that statement. But tonight, I couldn't think about him. Shane was right; it was time to get over this silly crush.
We picked the Maden brothers, Edward and Leonard, up at their house. As Shane had told me, they roomed together to save on expenses. They'd been close ever since their parents died when they were young, leaving them with a rather old-fashioned grandmother. I sympathized. My grandmother still asked me why I hadn’t given her a grandchild yet every time I called, and my family wasn’t even that big on tradition. I got it from a lot of the seniors at work as well, and if I’d been raised by any of them, I would have clung close to my sibling too.
My date was Edward, the younger of the two. I had to admit, he was kind of cute. The brothers both sported black hair and deep brown eyes, but Edward was a bit shorter and he had a sort of boyish charm to him that I liked. He wasn’t Griff, no, but nobody was. It was unfair of me to expect him to live up to the omega who’d made my heart beat faster since my teenage years.
No, I needed to try to forget about Griff for tonight. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, the two of us might never be more than friends, and if that was the case…
Shane lightly whacked me over the back of my head as we entered the restaurant he’d taken us to. “Stop looking so grumpy,” he hissed.
“I’m not grumpy!” I muttered, looking around the restaurant and hoping our dates hadn’t heard our exchange.
My cousin had picked the Bella Luna for our date. I say picked, but there hadn’t really been much of a choice. Oceanport didn’t have a ton of fancy restaurants. There was this, a diner, one or two cafés, and that one really fancy place that belonged to the resort a bit farther out, but only tourists went there, really.
Still, it wasn’t a bad choice.
The Bella Luna offered mostly Italian food, even though the owners weren’t Italian. The flair was nice, though. Everything looked expensive, even when you knew it really wasn’t. When I stepped into the restaurant, I knew I was still in Oceanport, but I might as well have been taking a stroll in Milan. Whoever the owner was, they had a good sense for interior design. Griff would have loved this place; he had a great eye for design too, being an artist.
Ugh, I shouldn’t think about Griff tonight.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to focus on my date.
Make conversation.
“You and your brother, you live together?” I asked once we sat down at one of the tables by the large window front.
Edward gave me a smile. “Yeah, even though it’s a pain.”
His brother elbowed him. “Hey! You’re the one who’s a pain to live with.”
“I know that, but don’t make me look bad in front of my date!” Edward protested. “Don’t you want me to move out some day?”
I had to laugh, loving the light-hearted atmosphere these two were bringing to the table. “Why are you such a pain to live with?” I asked Edward, while picking up one of the menus.
“Because
I like to get up early and Mr. Grumpypants over here doesn’t appreciate waking up to the sweet sound of my shower concerts.”
His brother sighed theatrically. “You have a good voice, but I don’t want to hear it at 6am.”
I glanced over at my cousin to see if the mention of singing disturbed him. As he told me, Ron had loved to sing in the shower. But Shane just stared really hard at his menu.
I looked at mine as well, realizing that neither of us was with the man we truly wanted to be with tonight. We just had to make the best of it. I put the menu aside before I could wonder what Griff would order for dessert and whether he’d like it better than what I made for him.
What was he up to tonight, anyway?
8
Griffin
It was Saturday night, and the bottle of wine was almost gone. I lay on my couch and stared at the ceiling, really wishing I'd bought something stronger. Or just more wine. I glanced at the clock above the living room door and considered going out again. It seemed like a good idea. Go out, have a drink, or maybe one hundred of them. Because I was still thinking about Dean and his damn date, so I clearly hadn't had enough to drink yet.
Maybe I would feel better if I got some fresh air—on the way to the liquor store. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. Anything that kept me from running circles in my head sounded like a good idea.
I got off the couch with great effort, threw on a light jacket—inside out as I later noticed—grabbed my keys and wallet and went out the door.
It was still early evening and in the sunny weather, lots of people were out and about. Some of them shot me funny looks as I walked by, but that didn't bother me. I was used to people looking at me in strange ways ever since my brother had become the target of the town's gossip back when Jake was born.
A Baby for the Firefighter Page 4