Honestly, it surprised me that he'd decided to come with us today.
“I want to be a better person than they were,” he’d said simply when I asked him about it.
Still, the air in the car was thick, no matter how much my mom tried to lighten the mood with her chattering about whatever went through her mind as we drove.
Part of me was glad to reach the hospital. Part of me knew things weren't going to get better once we added my Dad to the mix.
My fears were confirmed once we stepped into his room. He'd expected me and Mom to show up, but Eli was a surprise to him, and it clearly showed on his features. For the first minute or two, nobody said anything while the two of them stared at each other, and I was frantically searching my mind for things to say to break the silence.
My mom was faster than me, though. It was her I got my tendency to talk like a waterfall from, and she was still better at it than me. “Aren't you glad to get out of here today, dear? Look who's come to celebrate the special occasion! Say hi to our sons. Wasn't it nice of them to come today? They're going to drive us to the cottage.” She whirled around the room collecting Dad's things as if we were any other regular family and this meeting wasn't tense whatsoever.
“Very nice,” Dad mumbled finally. “Hello, Griffin. Elias. You look like you've been doing well.”
Eli opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if swallowing some sort of insult that lay on the tip of his tongue. “Thank you,” he said instead. He was really trying to keep things civil, if not friendly. I was grateful for that. “I’m doing okay.”
“Your mother tells me you’re married now?”
“I am,” Eli confirmed, absentmindedly playing with the ring on his finger.
“Good, good.” Our father nodded, then he laughed gruffly. “It’s almost like you’re doing what I’ve been telling you to do all along. Marry the father of your children. It’s only good sense, really. I don’t know why this caused all this family drama.”
Ouch. Couldn’t he have kept that thought to himself?
Eli’s lips turned into a thin line. “I married him because I love him, not because he got me pregnant ten years ago. And not because anyone told me to, either.”
My dad waved his hand. “Things turned out the way they were supposed to. We should just be happy for that instead of arguing. And now you’re pursuing a degree too. That’s good, really good, even if you were delayed for a few years.”
Eli took a deep breath. “It is good.”
I admired the patience my brother displayed that day, but I also knew that it wasn’t going to last much longer if this line of conversation kept up.
“Now, now, Declan.” My mother approached my father. “What have we been talking about?”
My father took a deep breath and turned to Eli again. “I am very sorry for all the misunderstandings we had.”
Misunderstandings? It seemed Eli took offense to that word too.
“What are you talking about?” he burst out, his veneer of calm finally dissolving. “We didn't have misunderstandings. You threw me out.”
“I didn't throw you out. I gave you a choice.”
Eli shook his head, a look of disbelief on his face. “That wasn't any kind of choice. You wanted me to give up Jake.”
“Or tell us who his father was so we could approach the guy. Was that so unreasonable? I don't think so, but no, you decided to pack your bags and leave like the stubborn child you've always been.”
“It was you who said not to come back if I was leaving,” Eli said, his voice taking on a bitter sound. “I couldn't give up Jake, and I couldn't tell you who his father was. Not back then.”
I watched the two of them anxiously. Part of me wanted to interfere in this conversation. Part of me thought maybe it needed to be had. After all these years, didn’t they need to talk this out?
My mother looked as if the same thoughts were going through her head as well, and she kept her mouth shut the same as me.
“Why couldn't you tell us?” My father asked. “You see, that's the part I don't get. We're family. You should be able to tell us.”
Eli sneered. “You say the word family like it means something, but I told you about my pregnancy and look how that turned out for me.”
Dad looked him up and down. “Seems to me you turned out all right. You're a strong omega, just the way we raised you to be. You have two children, a good man and good career prospects. I only feel you could have had all of that a lot earlier if you'd listened to us.”
“Perhaps... but you couldn't know that. You should have simply trusted my judgment and supported me when I needed your help. That's what I'm going to do for my children when they come to me with their problems. That's what I would have wished for from you.”
Our father sighed. “Maybe you're not the only member of this family who's too damn stubborn for his own good.”
I felt my eyebrows go up, knowing this was as close as our dad was going to get to an honest apology. And maybe Eli realized it as well, because he backed off.
“Let’s just get you out of here and to the cottage,” he said.
“Great idea!” Our mother jumped on the change of topic immediately. We helped her pack everything up and carry it to the car while she supported Dad on his crutches, since he refused to be wheeled around. He really was stubborn.
Still…
“That was big of you,” I told my brother in a hushed voice as we walked to the car. “Letting it go.”
He gave me a half-shrug. “Honestly, I think I’m too happy with my life right now to stay bitter for long. Just doesn’t seem worth it. I want to get this over with so I can return to my husband.”
His words made me smile. I was so happy for the way things had worked out for him. I was even happier now that I knew there was going to be a little ray of sunshine in my future as well. And as if reading my thoughts, Eli asked, “Are you going to tell them?”
And just like that, my good mood took a hit. “Not today.” Yeah, I’d joked to Dean that we needed to tell my parents, but not yet. Not when things were finally going well. I didn’t want to drop this bomb on this family right now. No, my parents would only lay into me about how I needed to get married to Dean like… yesterday!
I loved him, but we hadn’t talked about that yet, and this was really something I needed to discuss with my boyfriend before inviting my parents to the conversation. Our new-found family peace was so fragile. I didn’t want to do anything that could hurt it.
34
Griffin
“Are you really going to eat that?” Dean asked, a look somewhere between awe and disgust on his face as he watched me shove the pickles-and-mayonnaise-and-ham sandwich he’d just prepared for me into my mouth.
“Deliciousss,” I said, drawing out the “s” sound for emphasis. On a rational level I understood his disgust, but my cravings didn’t care about that. This baby had weird taste, and all I could do to stay sane was satisfy it. “I don’t think this baby is mine, you know,” I said, munching on my sandwich. “Could it have been switched before birth?”
“What makes you think that?” Dean asked, sitting beside me at the counter.
“It doesn’t like chocolate. I mean, what’s up with that? How can any child of mine not like chocolate? It’s simply not possible.” And yet the smell of a Mars bar had nearly made me throw up last night. I’d been relatively lucky in that I was now at the start of my second trimester and I hadn’t experienced any morning sickness, but the food aversions I got were fierce.
“Really? No chocolate?” Dean mimicked shock. He hadn’t been here the night before. We’d talked about moving in together when the baby was born, but hadn’t done so yet. He spent most of his free time at my place, and yet, something was still holding us back from taking that last step. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what, though. “I guess I’ll have to stop baking for you then,” Dean said.
I made a thoughtful noise and rested my head on his shoulder. “Yo
u’ll have to bake a huge amount and save it all up so I can eat nothing but cupcakes for a month after the birth.”
“A month? Don't you think that's a bit drastic?”
“Please, it's as if you don't understand my situation. I depend on those cupcakes! They're my life blood! And now I might not be able to eat them for nine full months! If I don't binge eat on cupcakes after the birth, I might die!” I spread my arms wide. “Do you want me to die? Is that it? I thought you loved me.” I pretended to be close to crying, taking a huge, sobbing breath.
Dean laughed, not buying the show I put on at all. “It's a good thing you chose to be a photographer rather than an actor,” he said.
I boxed his arm. “Meanie. I still want those cupcakes.”
“Okay, okay.” He leaned in to kiss my cheek. “You can have your cupcakes.”
“Yay!”
“I just hope your nephew is a better actor than you are.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. The play Jake and Conner were acting in was just a month from now. I'd gotten all the prop work done, and I knew Eli was finishing up the costumes too. They'd turned out so well. We'd both done our parts, now it was up to the kids to do theirs. I knew from Dean that Conner was still a bit scared, but that was just normal, I assumed. He was going to get through it. With Jake's moral support, if nothing else. I smiled to myself, wondering what my kid was going to be like when he or she was born. I wouldn't mind having my child be as strong-willed as Jake. God knew that was a good quality to have in the world we lived in. “I want to be mad at you, but I can't,” I told Dean. “I'm too happy.” In fact, I couldn't help but keep smiling at him. Somehow, I was in a good mood. But I'd been having a lot of mood swings lately, so I was going to enjoy this while it lasted. “I'm looking forward to the play,” I said.
“Yeah? Me too.” Dean grinned. “But speaking of the play... your parents are going to show up for that, won't they?”
“Yeah... so?” I asked, wondering what exactly Dean was getting at. We hadn't seen much of my parents since they'd moved into my aunt's cottage, but Eli had invited them to come see the play, which I thought was a great idea. I liked the thought of attending it as a family.
“Shouldn't we maybe tell them about our situation before that time?” Dean asked.
“What situation?” I pretended like I had no idea what he was talking about, if only because I didn't want to talk about it.
“Uh...” He pointedly looked at my belly. My still flat belly.
“We can tell them after.” I waved him off, feeling my good mood evaporating. “Not like the baby is going to be born tomorrow.” And I didn’t want to have some sort of family fight before the play.
“There’s a chance that they’ll know what’s up just by looking at you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, staring at him indignantly. “Are you saying that because you think I'm going to be fat or something?” Yeah, my good mood had vanished just as fast as it had come.
“I'm not saying you're going to be fat,” he said. “I'm saying you're going to have a cute little baby bump. I mean, it's already starting.” He reached out for my belly and I jumped from the stool to evade him.
“Don't touch me when you think I'm fat!”
One of Dean's eyebrows shot up. “That's not what I'm saying, sugar.”
“Ugh, don't talk about sugar.” I held a hand in front of my mouth.
“This pregnancy is going to last for another half year, isn't it?” Dean asked and I thought he suppressed a sigh.
“Yeah, why?”
“Oh, no reason.”
I glared at him, but he only smiled in response. I was lucky to be with the most patient alpha on the planet.
He tried to state his point again. “I was just thinking that maybe your parents might even be happy about this pregnancy. We'll never know unless we tell them.”
“Yeah, that's not going to happen, just believe me. They'll hear about the baby and then they'll start making all sorts of demands.” I'd seen it happen before. My parents seemed sorry for what had happened with Eli, yes, but only because they'd been given enough time to feel the consequences. If I sprung this pregnancy on them, there was no guarantee that they wouldn't flip again. My mother liked Dean, yeah, but she'd still want us to live a certain way. She and dad would both want us to get married right away. We didn't need that kind of pressure right now. I pouted.
“Okay, okay. I believe you.” Dean stood and embraced me from behind. This time, I let him. I even leaned in to him a little bit.
“I'm sorry for being so moody,” I said, suddenly feeling just incredibly sad about the state I was in.
“It's fine.” He kissed my neck. Then he laughed a little, bless him. “I know this isn't going to last forever, after all. We can talk about something else if you don't want to talk about your parents.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Like baby names?” Dean suggested. “Have you thought about any yet?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I think I’d like to wait until we find out the sex. That might make things easier.”
Dean nodded. “You know one of the old ladies I work with keeps insisting that we call our first child after her, since she brought us together.”
I had to laugh at that. “Is that Mrs. Rosewood? How does she think she brought us together?”
“Oh, she thinks it was all her positive influence and moral support. And she taste-tested all those cupcakes for me. You know, to make sure they were good enough for you.”
I shook my head, amusement taking the sadness away. “She's a sweet old lady, but she has some weird ideas.”
“She does.”
“Wait,” I said, turning my face to look at Dean. “Did you tell her about the pregnancy?”
“Nope.” He kissed my hair. “She just assumed. I wouldn't tell anyone without your permission.”
“You better not!” Although I knew he wanted to. It was really unfair of me to keep this under such a tight lid, wasn't it? I sighed. Sooner or later we would have to let the cat out of the bag, but I'd rather that moment be later than sooner. “I'm sorry,” I said. “I know you really want to tell your coworkers.” Dean still went to do his job at the fire department two times a week. He also had nightmares two times a week, but he insisted he was fine, he would get over it. I only hoped that was true. He was stubborn as well as patient. But at least he told me about his problems now, even if there wasn't much I could do to help.
“Don't worry about it.” He tightened his grip on me a bit and I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. I could hardly believe now that it had scared me once, when all it made me feel these days was comfort and safety—and an ever present under-current of arousal. There was no better smell in the world. Not anywhere. “I care a lot more about making you happy then I care about telling my coworkers,” Dean tried to reassure me. “I can wait a little while longer.”
“Thank you.” I didn't like to make him wait, but rumors spread like wildfire in this place. If he told anyone at the department, it would be all over town the next day. And it wouldn't take long to reach my parents after that.
“What do you say we just watch a few episodes of anime on Netflix and forget about all this?” Dean asked.
“That sounds perfect! You’re perfect!”
Dean chuckled. “I’m at your service.”
“Does that mean I get another sandwich?”
“Depends. Do you want it to have pickles and ham again?”
“Nah, just ham this time.” I paused to think about it for a moment. “Ham and mustard.”
“Ugh. You’re disgusting,” Dean said lightly.
I boxed him with my elbow. “It’s your child demanding these things! So get to it!”
“Right.” He broke away from me and walked into the kitchen to do my bidding. I watched him, smiling. He really was perfect, and I knew he would stick by me whatever my parents said.
So why was I still afraid to tell them?
Griffin
When the day of the play finally arrived, we met my parents in front of the school. Eli was already inside and so was Shane, as the two of them had needed to drop their kids off early and Eli had also wanted to make sure that there were no issues with the costumes. But this meant that Dean and I were alone with my parents.
I'd put on my most baggy clothing for this night, but yeah, I was seventeen weeks along, and I definitely had the belly to show for it. Still, I hoped I had managed to obscure it well enough that there wouldn't be questions.
Tomorrow. I'll tell them tomorrow. Just not tonight, please.
I wanted this to be a fun night. Dean took my hand and squeezed it as we greeted my parents. He knew how important it was to me that this evening go well. It would be the first time in ten years that my family had fun as a family.
“Hello Griff, Dean. So good to see you.” My mother hugged me, and I put my arms around her back tentatively. Was she feeling my belly underneath the clothes? She seemed to still for a moment, but then she broke away without saying anything. She did look at me a bit oddly, though.
But maybe that was all in my mind?
“I'm glad that you could come,” Dean said, distracting me. “I'm sure the play is going to be a lot of fun.”
“Yeah,” I chimed in. “I've seen the costumes, and they're adorable.”
“Eli made them, didn't he?” my mother asked. Then she turned to my father. “Isn't that great?”
My father made himself smile. “Yes, great.” He hadn't brought his crutches tonight, which was nice to see. Looked like he was really getting better, and soon enough, that fire would be nothing more than a dark spot in our memories. A dark spot that had brought us back together, though. I didn't know whether to be grateful or not.
A Baby for the Firefighter Page 19