Hey, Good Looking

by Fern Michaels

  “Are you sorry you kissed me?” Darby asked boldly. “You can’t take it back, you know. It happened, and I liked it.”

  “Hell no. I just don’t want you getting the wrong idea, you know, that I go around kissing women just for…oh, hell, you know what I’m trying to say.”

  Darby grinned. “Now why would I get the wrong idea. I said I liked it. Do you have anything else on your agenda?”

  “Do I ever.” They both laughed self-consciously.

  “I just wish I knew what the aunts were up to.”

  “The only way we’ll ever find out is if they tell us,” Ben said.

  Little did they both know how wrong they were.

  Diddy moved away from the kitchen doorway the moment she heard the engine of Darby’s Volvo turn over. “Okay, they’re gone. Ducky, it would please me greatly if you would make some fresh coffee. We need to fall back and regroup. That damn Bella is one step ahead of us. The woman is a conniver and a manipulator.”

  Ducky nodded in agreement. “We have to stop her. If we can break Marcus out, our best hope is he’ll turn on her. We have to believe that blood is thicker than water, and family is family. I don’t see him ignoring family. I refuse to believe he will side with that witch over us when he understands what’s been going on. Diddy, you might have to…well, you might have to…be really nice to Marcus. He’ll listen to you before he listens to anyone else.” She moved away so she wouldn’t have to look at her sister. To her surprise, Diddy didn’t argue.

  Dodo stood at the kitchen counter, her cup in hand, waiting for the coffee to finish dripping into the pot. “The first thing we should do is call around, maybe New Orleans, for a private detective. It’s a given that we can’t use anyone here in town. We need to find out all we can about Bella, get to the bottom of her shenanigans.” She set her cup down and picked up a blue-and-white-checked dish towel that she proceeded to wring, then tie in knots. She held it up for inspection. “This is what I’d like to do to that woman’s scrawny neck.”

  “You’re so vicious, Dodo,” Ducky said as she poured coffee into three cups. “Somehow, some way, she hoodwinked Marcus. Which doesn’t say much for Marcus.” She eyed Diddy, whose face was flushed a rosy pink. She looked away, unwilling to acknowledge her sister’s words.

  Dodo took a gulp of the steaming coffee. “We can’t snatch Marcus today, that’s for sure. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do a little spying, get the lay of the land, so to speak. We can hide in the bushes and see what time the nurse takes Marcus outside. Check the terrain, position the truck for the getaway, that kind of thing. We need toplan. I don’t think we have to worry about the two houses out front. The town will have to hold meetings, the Historical Society will have to call a special meeting, and the newspapers will have their run with it as well as the local news. It will be at least a few weeks before anything is settled. We’ll just have to put up with the circus unless Bella has a change of heart and calls it all off. I don’t see her doing that, though.”

  Ducky sat down with a thump on one of the kitchen chairs. “This has to be kept entirely separate from what Darby and Ben are doing. Simon Bourdroux has the authority to cancel next week’s meeting with the Preservation Society if he feels time is getting away from him, and he needs to stall the vote. Bella will gnash her teeth in frustration, but it will work to our advantage. The clock is ticking way too fast, to my liking. With Darby taking Russ’s seat on the board, I’m even more hopeful. That young woman can be very convincing when she puts her mind to it. I’m pinning my hopes on her and Simon helping us.”

  The sisters smiled. “Marcus holds the answer to everything; that’s why we have to snatch him.”

  “This is so crazy,” Diddy said. “Bella is going to know it’s us.”

  Dodo snorted as she finished the last of her coffee. “Knowing and proving it are two different things. Alibis are wonderful things. Need I remind you that…”

  “For God’s sake, Dodo, no, you do not need to remind us that you should have killed her. Get the phone book and see if you can find a private detective. When are we going out to Bella’s house? Another thing I think we need to think about is Marcus’s medicine. What if there’s something he absolutely needs, and we don’t have it. Then what?” Diddy asked.

  Dodo crunched her tiny face into a grimace. “Ben has his chart. I looked at the meds on it. I faxed the list to Trixie, and she said she knows how to geteverything on it. Over the years they’ve made some rather strange friends in all the research they’ve done for those mystery books they write. She’s fixed up a room for him and is going to pick up a wheelchair today. She came up with a better plan than the three of us did. She’s driving up here with Flash, that K-9 dog she bought a few years ago before she went into the business of training police dogs,” Dodo said. Her excitement was infectious, and her sisters leaned forward to listen more closely. “Listen up, here’s the plan. We, as in Diddy and I, are going to snatch Marcus, then turn it all over to Trixie and Flash, who will transport him back to her farm in Rayne. We come home and sit on the front porch. We’ll be each other’s alibi—we’ll tell everyone we both spent the day sitting and talking. Ducky will keep Bella busy at lunch for at least two hours, then join us on the porch. Ducky now has an alibi just as we do. Tell me it isn’t foolproof.”

  “What if Ducky’s lunch with Bella doesn’t coincide with the time Marcus is taken outside?” Diddy asked fearfully.

  “Then we’re screwed and will have to go to Plan B as soon as I can figure out what Plan B is,” Dodo snarled. “Are you ready, Diddy?”

  “No, I’m not ready. Why isn’t Ducky coming? What if we have to run or something?”

  Dodo tapped her foot impatiently. “In that case, you’re on your own. I’ve been telling you for years to stop eating that damn red-velvet cake and take off those fifty pounds you put on. Did you listen? No, you did not.” Diddy started to cry. “Look, I’m sorry, Diddy, I didn’t mean that. I know your world ended when Marcus ditched you for Bella. I know all your dreams were shattered. Maybe we can make it right for you. We should have done all this years ago, but you wouldn’t let us get to the bottom of it. Therefore, you have to take some responsibility.” She handed over the dish towel for Diddy to wipe her eyes. Then she patted Diddy’s plump arm in a sisterly fashion. “Let’s go. Ooops, wait, let me get my digital camera. We might need it. We can blow the pictures up on the computer. So we can get a close look at the terrain. I’ll meet you at the car.”

  Ducky turned to her sister. Her face was full of awe. “Oh, Diddy, I didn’t know you still had feelings for Marcus. After he made such a fool of you for the whole town to see, how can that be?” she asked, not unkindly.

  “Marcus was the only man I ever loved. The feeling never went away. It’s the only answer I can give you. I really don’t want to talk about this, Ducky. I have to go now. Good luck finding a private detective. Make sure he signs a confidentiality agreement.”

  Dodo settled herself in her small black car, a 1985 Mercedes convertible. She had to sit on two cushions and had wooden blocks on the gas and the brake pedals, much like parents put on children’s tricycles, because her legs were too short to reach. She roared out of the alley, jolting Diddy forward. “Buckle up, Diddy.”

  They tooled along, enjoying the sunny day and the slight breeze in the air. “I never asked you about Marcus, Diddy, not because I didn’t want to,” Dodo said finally, her voice soft and kind. “I don’t want you to think I was uncaring or selfish, but I took my cue from you. Ducky did, too. If it’s any consolation to you, I know how you must have felt. I guess the Lane women aren’t very good about picking out their partners.”

  Diddy’s head snapped sideways. “Are you saying…?”

  “Yes. I met this man, oh, it was about thirty years ago, in Japan. I loved him with every breath in my body. That’s why I didn’t come home too often during those years. We lived together. He had his ownDojo, which I financed, and I helped with the training classes. I
t was so wonderful, it was downright scary. Our lives were blissful, or so I thought.”

  Diddy stared at her sister in awe. This was the first time in her whole life that Dodo ever opened up about her life in Japan. She and Ducky had suspected, though. “What happened?”

  Dodo turned on her signal light, made a right-hand turn, and started down the paved road that led to Bella and Marcus Gunn’s house before she replied. “One night he didn’t come home. When he didn’t come home the second and third night I knew something was wrong. When I went to theDojo on the fourth morning it was empty. He’d cleaned everything out. I went back to my house and hunkered in for months. I heard through some very good friends that Sobu went to Taiwan with a beautiful, tall blond woman. He sold theDojo right from under me and cleaned out my bank account. That’s the end of my story. And before you can ask, no, I never got over it. Maybe it was the rejection, maybe it was love, I just don’t know.”

  “And you never saw him again?”

  “Oh, I saw him over the years. The blonde left him. He came back every year or so for the trials. He’d bring one of his students, but they were never as good as the students we trained together. He tried to talk to me once, but I walked away. Like you, Diddy, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m apologizing to you, and I hope you accept the apology. Oh, one last thing. Don’t think for one minute Ducky hasn’t had her share of failed love affairs. Why else is she out there trying to recapture something she thinks she lost and can never have again?”

  “I do. Accept your apology, I mean. Thanks for telling me about…your life in Japan.”

  Dodo nodded. “From here on in, we have to be careful. I’ll park in that brush over there. It has some excellent overhead cover. There has to be a footpath somewhere other than this driveway. I don’t want to go too close to the house. You can wait in the car, Diddy. It’s kind of hilly.”

  “Don’t worry about me, I can do it. Besides, I’ve never been here before. I’d like to see what all the fuss has been about,” she said, then she gasped in surprise as she looked up the hill toward Bella and Marcus Gunn’s “monstrosity.” “That’s probably the ugliest house I’ve ever seen. It suits Bella.”

  “You’re right about that. Okay, let’s go. Don’t talk, voices carry. I want to find a good vantage point so we can see the backyard. I saw a pictorial spread in theAdvocate once, and it showed the yard and the big trees. I’m thinking the nurse would park Marcus under a tree in the shade. I’m sure there’s a breeze this far up the hill. Careful, Diddy,” Dodo warned as she herself slipped on a rock.

  Ten minutes later, Dodo stopped in her tracks. Diddy reached out to grasp a sapling to hold on to as Dodo rummaged in her fanny pack for a pair of binoculars. “I can see the yard,” she hissed. “I can’t see anyone, but I can see the whole yard. It’s rather pretty.” She looked down at the oversize watch with the glow-in-the-dark numerals on her skinny wrist. She pointed to it for Diddy’s benefit. Diddy nodded. Ten minutes past noon. “Hand me the camera, Diddy.”

  Dodo snapped and snapped, turning this way and that to make sure she got the flower garden from every angle. Satisfied, she handed the camera back to Diddy, who hung it around her neck.

  “How are we going to get Marcus down this incline?” Diddy whispered.

  Dodo shrugged. “What we need to know is does the nurse stay out here with Marcus or does she go back indoors. There are windows that face the yard. It’s a possibility that someone in the house could see us. Uh-oh, someone’s coming. Don’t make a sound.” Diddy obediently clamped her lips shut.

  Overhead a pack of squirrels raced down the tree in front of them. Somewhere to the left they could hear a woodpecker having his lunch.

  Dodo watched as two maids dressed in gray uniforms with pristine white aprons set up a small wooden table under one of the oak trees. She could hear the clatter of crystal, china, and silver as the table was set for two. Within seconds a nurse appeared at the doorway, pushing a wheelchair. Dodo winced at her sister’s indrawn breath. She continued to watch as another maid appeared with a huge silver tray covered with a white cloth. The sisters watched as the maid served lunch. The nurse ate heartily while Marcus stared at his food. After a few minutes, he pushed the plate away. Either he didn’t like the food or he wasn’t hungry. A snarl escaped Diddy’s lips when they heard the nurse say, “If you don’t eat this food, I’ll have to feed you. You know how you choke and sputter when I do that. I don’t want to have to give Mrs. Gunn a bad report this evening when she gets home.” The threat worked. Marcus speared something off his plate with his fork and put it into his mouth. He chewed slowly and methodically until his plate was empty.

  “At least he understands and can hear. He’s able to eat. I don’t think there’s anything seriously wrong with him, Diddy. I think Ben and Darby might be right—Bella might be doping him up to keep him quiet,” Dodo whispered.

  The two maids with the white aprons appeared to carry away the table and the dishes. The nurse moved to a bench under the tree. She removed a copy of theNational Enquirer and theStar and started to read. Marcus leaned back in the wheelchair and closed his eyes.

  The sisters waited patiently, sweat pouring down their bodies. Exactly one hour later, the nurse finished reading both tabloids and got up and shook Marcus’s shoulder. “Time to go in, Mr. Gunn. Your wife brought home some new videos last night you might like to watch this afternoon.”

  Dodo and Diddy remained quiet as the nurse struggled to push the wheelchair across the thick carpet of grass. They were at the edge of the lawn when the sprinkler system came to life, water shooting upward and sideways. The sisters waited a good ten minutes before they backed down the incline, Dodo going first.

  Back in the car, Diddy started to shake. Dodo placed a comforting hand on her arm. “I really think we can pull this off. I’m going to call Trixie and tell her to leave now. We’ll do it tomorrow. Since we don’t want to set off any alarms, I’ll tell her to get a room at the Baton Rouge Inn. The kids will suspect something if she stays at the house.”

  “What about Flash?” Diddy asked uneasily.

  “She’ll say he’s a Seeing Eye dog. Stop worrying.”

  “I was born to worry. What about the nurse?”

  Dodo turned in the seat, phone in hand, to look at her sister. She placed the phone on the console and said, “Diddy, I know all the pressure points on a person’s body. I know just how much pressure to exert. I can render that nurse unconscious for as long as I want. When she wakes up, she’ll think she just dozed off. Now, stop worrying. We can do this. We’ll be back home arguing with those people in front of the Horseshoe by the time they discover Marcus is missing.”

  Diddy leaned back and closed her eyes, as Dodo dialed Trixie McGuire’s number in Rayne. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard Dodo say, “The gig’s on. Leave now. Make sure you tell the registration clerk that Flash is a Seeing Eye dog. We’ll join you for dinner. Think about room service. Call me with your room number so we can go straight to your room without having the desk call you. Okay, bye, Trixie.”

  “It’s all set, Diddy. Relax.”

  Diddy groaned as she envisioned herself being carted off to jail and her picture gracing the front page of the local newspaper. She voiced the thoughts aloud. “Dodo, it was so…strange to see Marcus again in the flesh. I didn’t expect my heart to flutter like it did. I thought all those old feelings were dead. They aren’t. Oh, Lord, Dodo, what kind of old fool does that make me?”

  “A kind, caring old fool. That’s the best kind. I’m just glad you aren’t bitter and hateful. I was for a while, but you have to move on and hope things will get better. In your case, I think they will. For me, it’s too late.”

  “Oh, no, Dodo, it’s never too late. When we’re dead, then it’s too late. This might not be the time to say this but I, too, would like to see a family in the shoe. Your family, Dodo. We won’t talk about this again unless you want to.”

  Her eyes welling with tears,
Dodo simply nodded.

  9

  Darby could hardly believe her good fortune when Simon Bourdroux called at seven just as she was heading for the shower. In a sly, all-knowing voice, he’d asked if she would like to accompany him and the committee to LSU to look at some properties the committee was considering refurbishing. “It will give us both an opportunity to do a little campaigning,” he’d whispered into the phone.

  Wily old fox, Darby thought as she hung up the phone and rushed to get showered and dressed. Her offer to pick up Simon had been accepted. He promised to have cinnamon rolls and coffee in hand when she arrived.

  Sipping and munching, Darby’s eyes on the road, their conversation was limited as they sailed down the road to the LSU campus, where they were to meet up with the others on the quad. As she drove around looking for a suitable parking space, Darby let her anxiety show. “Are we going to have any luck, Simon? How do you think the vote will go?”

  “Not good,” the old man said. “I think our best bet is for me to cancel next week’s meeting. I have gout, so it won’t come as a surprise to any of the members. I’ve done it before. We’re going to need more time to persuade our members to get them to come around to our way of thinking. I have to tell you, aside from Sarabess, the others are all on that woman’s side. Eleanore Doucette has a nephew that got a donor kidney some time ago, so she’s pretty much on Mrs. Gunn’s side.”

  “Simon, Bella Gunn wants to level both houses and rebuild new structures. She will single-handedly ruin the Horseshoe with the kind of buildings she wants to erect. Didn’t you see the wrecking ball at the top of the shoe? You’ve been with the Society forever. Can’t you think of something we can do if the vote goes against us?”

  The old man looked like he was going to cry. “No, young lady, I can’t. The truth is, they want me to resign, to retire so they can bring in new blood. Russell was my protégé, and he felt the same way I did. He didn’t want to see the old houses go to wrack and ruin.”