Push Me, Pull Me

by Vanessa Garden

  But that particular night, as I drove a hired car along the opposite side of the road than I was used to, my heart beating a mile a minute, I knew. I just knew.

  Byron’s breathing had been deep and slow and ragged throughout the day. I’d begged him to allow me to take him to a hospital, but he had insisted on going to the beach. He wanted to die beneath the stars. In my arms.

  Not long after we’d arrived, twenty minutes or so after I had set him up, with some help from an Italian tourist, as comfortable as possible on a mountain of pillows, he turned to me. His eyes were all glazed out from the liquid morphine he’d been drinking twenty-four-seven since the cancer had returned and he whispered, “Ruby,” before closing his eyes and slipping into a much heavier breathing rhythm that got deeper and slower until his very last breath, a gentle sigh, several hours later.

  I held Byron tight, the ocean gently lapping against the shore, the stars and half-moon shining against the black night, while I sobbed and rocked him in my arms, pressing my lips against his forehead again and again.

  I thought about the day we’d first met in the Tea ‘n’ Tale, about the night he’d climbed through my bedroom window, the night at the hotel room, and every single moment we’d shared together after that. I was so lucky to have so many beautiful memories of Byron inside my head and my heart.

  I laid him down against the pillows and stroked a lock of hair away from his forehead. He looked so beautiful, so at peace after so much pain. He almost looked as though he was sleeping. As though his eyes could flutter open one last time and stare back into mine. But of course they didn’t.

  He was gone. But not completely. I’d learned that from Mrs. Patfield.

  No matter what, he was still Byron, my one true love, secretly married to me by the moon and stars. Just like my mother was still my mother, years after she had died.

  When you love someone, they never truly leave. Their love changes you, makes you stronger. They are as much a part of you as your own heart beating beneath your ribs.

  Mum and Byron were like essential pieces of my heart, keeping me going.

  And I was going to take them with me everywhere I went.

  Acknowledgments

  I’d like to thank my loving husband, my three awesome kids, and all of my family and friends. You guys are the best! Thank you so much for your endless belief in me. I love you all.

  Also, I’d like to thank Limitless Publishing for saying ‘Yes!’ It has been an absolute pleasure working with such a professional and friendly team.

  About the Author

  A bookseller and Young Adult author, Vanessa loves nothing more than immersing herself in the exciting world of books. When she is not gushing about her favourite reads with customers, or mentally casting actors to play the characters in her books, Vanessa enjoys hanging out with those she loves most.

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  http://www.vanessagarden.blogspot.com.au/