“I’m awake, Noelle,” he murmured, his voice rumbling deep in his chest.
He could see that he had caught her totally unprepared, which pleased him considerably. She seemed to know so damned much about so many things, but there was one area where she didn’t know diddly…and he was just about to show her!
“Uh, Bret, I don’t think—” she began, pushing herself away from him slightly.
He wasn’t having any part of her retreat. She was now resting squarely on his thighs, which freed up one of his arms. He tilted her chin up with his thumb.
She smelled tantalizingly feminine and his body no longer felt eighty years old. He tilted his head slightly and kissed her.
He’d been right. She didn’t know a blamed thing about kissing, but that was fine. He had plenty of time and he was a very patient instructor.
Her mouth felt so soft. He watched her eyelids flutter, then close. When she gave a tiny sigh he used the opportunity to touch his tongue to her lips, edging her mouth gradually open until he could explore more fully. He increased the pressure, enjoying the pleasure of holding her close, feeling her respond to him. He allowed his hand to slide along her neck and throat downward until it came to rest cupping her breast.
Yes! She felt just the way he had dreamed she would, her breast filling his palm as though made with him in mind. He could feel her heart beating so rapidly her chest shook.
She was so innocent and he was taking advantage of her.
That thought washed over him like a sudden cold and drenching rain. Reluctantly he forced himself to move his hand until it safely circled her waist once more. He even tried to end the kiss, but even his strong willpower couldn’t overcome the intensity of their shared experience.
When he finally released her, he buried his face in her hair and shuddered with the depth of his overwhelming desire for her.
She clung to him and he was thankful that he hadn’t frightened her with his strong reaction to the kiss. He was a grown man and he should have known better. But he was also human, and no one short of a saint could have withstood the temptation that Noelle presented to him.
As soon as she stirred, he released the pressure of his arms around her. She pulled away until she could look into his face. “I didn’t know,” she said with wonder.
“You didn’t know what?”
“How it felt. I had no idea what happens…I mean the way we react to each other.” Her eyes were wide. “Kisses are pretty potent stuff, aren’t they?”
He grinned. Did she have any idea how adorable she looked perched on his lap, her hair all mussed, discussing the ramifications of their first kiss?
“They can be, yes,” he replied, still grinning.
“I had no idea.”
“Are you telling me you’ve never been kissed?”
“Not like that,” she replied emphatically.
“Are you beginning to understand why I was concerned about your staying here?”
She looked at him warily. “Why? Do you intend to do that again?”
He laughed. He couldn’t help it. She looked like one of the tiny kittens whose fur had just been rubbed the wrong way.
“Not if you don’t want me to, of course. I’d never force myself on you. But I got a distinct impression that you didn’t mind that kiss at all, and that you wouldn’t argue if I proposed another one.”
She thought about that for a moment, then smiled, obviously delighted with her conclusion. “You’re right. I didn’t mind it at all and I’d very much like to enjoy another one.” Without waiting to see his response she closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with a burst of innocent enthusiasm.
Chapter Four
“Why didn’t somebody tell me what it’s like? I had no idea, no warning, nothing to prepare me. I—”
“Noelle—”
“By the way, how old am I?”
“You’re ageless. Noelle—”
“That’s what I thought. I mean, if I’d ever bothered to give it a thought. But all of a sudden I’m thinking about such things—earthly things—a great deal. Like, how old I am, and how I look, and if Bret finds me attractive—he certainly kisses me like he finds me attractive—and I find him very attractive. I can’t believe how attractive. I mean, the most subtle things about him start my heart racing as though I’ve been running for hours. Take his hair, for instance. I find myself spending hours of my day while I’m cleaning house or washing clothes or preparing meals, wondering exactly how you’d describe his hair. It’s so thick and it’s all these different colors, like taffy and wheat and cinnamon and straw. Straw. I never would have thought that straw was a beautiful color but oh, on Bret it looks wonderful, really amazingly so.
“And his eyes. I can’t stop gazing into his eyes. At first I thought they were brown. Well, maybe a light brown. Then I realized they were the same exact, identical color of well-aged whiskey—almost like topaz, but with swirling depths in them. They even change color according to his mood. When he’s tired they’re golden and when he’s angry they get darker, almost like they’re flashing sparks. Sometimes, when he looks at me a certain way, they go all liquid and molten. That look makes me go weak in my knees. It really does. I’ve heard the expression many times but I’ve never experienced the feeling before. I’m telling you right now, it’s the weirdest feeling I’ve had in a long time. Let’s face it, I’ve just gotten used to having knees and now they’re already acting up on me.
“The thing is, I don’t know what to do. Well, of course I know what I’m supposed to be doing. My assignment was all very clear and concise. And it isn’t as though I haven’t always loved Bret because I have. But this is different. I mean, really different. And it’s confusing me. I’ve been daydreaming around the house, rerunning the dreams he has about me every night, trying to imagine what it would feel like if he really were doing those things to me. I’m telling you here and now being human isn’t anything like I thought it was at all.”
“What did you think it was like?”
“Going around making really stupid mistakes, needing somebody to guide you through them. Well, from my new perspective, they don’t look so stupid, and most of all they don’t look like mistakes.”
“Would you care to give me an example?”
She thought for a moment. “Well, the other day Travis told me that he wished that I would stay with them all year-round instead of just during the Christmas season. He said that he wished I could be his mommy.”
“Not a very surprising wish for a young child who has never had a mother.”
“I know. Before I took on human form, I would have quickly explained how that wasn’t possible, how it was only through a special dispensation that I had been allowed to materialize for him at all.”
“You didn’t tell him that?”
She hung her head. “No.”
“What did you tell him?”
She lifted her chin and stared at her supervisor. “I told him I wished I could be his mommy, too.”
Noelle waited for an explosion at the very least. She had done some unangelic things before, she’d managed to get into some pretty tumultuous situations before, but never had she made such an out and out earthly remark.
She waited for a response. She waited for what seemed forever. For that matter, it could have been forever since there was no measurement of time in this dimension. So she wasn’t certain if a few minutes or an eternity passed before her supervisor responded.
“I see.”
Those two words seemed to circle her as though they had taken on their own form, becoming special entities capable of independent action.
What had she expected…a reprimand? Some form of judgment? Chastisement? Maybe she’d been on earth too long. She was already beginning to react like a human being, waiting for a lightning bolt to strike her.
“The thing is, I don’t know what to do. I’m really confused.”
“Are you looking for guidance?”
“Oh, yes! That’s exactly what I want.”
“You need only to ask, surely you haven’t forgotten?”
“I know that I’ve made a positive change in the children’s lives. In addition, Freda is getting a much needed rest and an opportunity to review what she’s doing with her life and whether she wishes to continue her present path.
“As for Bret…well, I think he’s beginning to see how he’d cut himself off from the world these past three years. How he’d retreated into himself, giving only what was demanded of him.
“Now he’s beginning to feel again, to notice the world around him. He’s, uh, well, he’s realizing certain things are lacking in his life—like female companionship and physical closeness. He’s discovered that he’s in the prime of his life and that he could have so much more if he decided to reach out for what he wants.”
“Then you are doing your job well, I would say.”
“Except that he wants to reach out to me.”
“For physical closeness and female companionship?”
“Exactly.”
“Surely you can arrange for him to meet some eligible women before you leave, women with whom he would have something in common, perhaps a woman who’s been unable to have a family of her own and would feel blessed to find a ready-made one waiting for her.”
“I suppose so.”
“Do I detect a certain lack of enthusiasm in your tone?”
“Yes. That’s exactly why I’m so confused. I know what needs to be done. I know I’m capable of bringing about the situations needed for him to have a varied selection from which to choose. The problem is, I don’t want him to fall in love with someone else.”
There. She had finally put her feelings into words.
“You prefer to see him the way he was before you came into his life?”
“Not at all. It’s just that I want to be the one with whom he falls in love.”
“Given your present circumstances, I can understand why you might feel that way. It’s perfectly natural and normal for a human being to have such yearnings. Once Christmas arrives and you return to your original form those strange human yearnings will no longer be with you. You will be able to regain your objectivity in the matter.”
“Are you certain of that?”
Her supervisor smiled. “Have I ever lied to you?”
“Of course not. Please forgive my doubts.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, of course. I can see tremendous growth in you since you embarked on this latest assignment. You’re doing splendidly.”
“It feels more like I’ve gone backward. I used to have such a clear vision of what I was supposed to be doing in relation to everyone around me. Now, I don’t have a clue of where I am.”
“I believe we do our greatest growing during that period when we seem not to know anything. Perhaps that is our greatest lesson—to understand how very little we know. What is important is that we do what needs to be done in a timely fashion. I would say that you are on schedule, wouldn’t you?”
“Christmas is only a week away. I have seven days.”
“An eternity to some.”
“Thank you for listening to me.”
“I am always here for you, just as my counselor is always here for me, and so forth and so on. No one has to be alone unless he or she so chooses.”
“Bret doesn’t understand how alone he’s been, how he hasn’t bothered to ask for help or guidance. He would laugh at the idea of being alone while raising four children, not to mention having Freda and Roy around most of the time. As far as that goes, Bret doesn’t believe in angels, which is amusing when you think about it.”
“Whether you recognize it or not, you are making great changes in this man’s life. He will never again be quite the same man he was before you appeared before him.”
“That works both ways. I’ll never forget Bret, either. Never.”
Chapter Five
Roy tapped on the kitchen door while the family was eating breakfast the next morning. Noelle quickly opened the door since she had just stepped to the counter nearby for the coffeepot. “Good morning, Roy,” she said, smiling at the tall, thin cowboy. “Would you like some coffee?”
Stepping inside, Roy raked his hat off his head with his hand, and nodded shyly. “Sounds good, ma’am.”
“Chris tells me you still plan to go Christmas shopping today,” Bret said, eyeing Roy with a half smile on his face. “You’re a real glutton for punishment, aren’t you.”
“Well, I kinda like taking the kids every year. It’s become sort of a tradition with me. They’re my family, you know. We’ve got a regular thing going.”
“Since I promised Travis I would take him to see Santa this year, why don’t you take Chris and the girls in the Bronco and Noelle, Travis and I’ll go in the truck.” He named one of the newer malls in San Antonio and said, “We’ll plan on meeting at Santa’s Village about four o’clock. Will that give everybody enough time to see everything they want to see?”
A chorus of affirmatives almost deafened him. He could see the excitement building as the children all exchanged glances.
Noelle looked at Travis. “Is that all right with you? If you stay with your Dad and me?”
He nodded vigorously. “Yep.”
Bret ruffled his youngest son’s hair. “This will be a new experience for us, won’t it, young’un? We’ve never gone shopping together for Christmas.”
Travis’s smile was cherubic. “It’s because Noelle’s coming, too.”
Bret glanced over at Noelle and saw her cheeks flaming. Slowly Bret acknowledged, “You’re probably right. Guess Noelle’s caused a lot of changes since she arrived, hasn’t she?”
“Uh-huh. I think we should keep her.”
With a speculative glance at her flushed cheeks Bret replied, “You think so?” When he caught her eye, he winked.
Obviously flustered, Noelle gathered up the dishes on the table and carried them to the sink.
The room soon emptied of the children, who’d gone upstairs to finish dressing. Bret shook his head and said, “I don’t know how four children manage to sound like a hundred-voice chorus. It’s kind of nice to have a few minutes of peace.”
Absently he watched Noelle move around the room until everything had been washed and put away. His gaze followed her as she went into Freda’s room and closed the door.
Roy lowered his voice. “Have you noticed something strange about Noelle?”
“Strange?”
“Yeah. Well, different maybe.”
“Not particularly. Have you?”
“Well, for one thing, she never seems to get tired. She’s on the go every time I see her, and she’s always in a good mood. Now I never knowed a woman to be in a good mood all the time. By and large, I find women to be kinda moody. It’s a little distracting to me to see somebody so blamed cheerful all the time. It kinda makes me wonder what she’s up to.”
Bret carefully hid his smile. “Do you have any ideas on the subject?”
“Well, I’ve been wondering if she’s trying to take over Freda’s job.”
Bret lifted his cup and took a swallow of coffee, trying to gain some time to think of what to say.
Roy went on. “Have you asked her how long she intends to stay?”
“Not in so many words. She said she’d come to help out while Freda was in the hospital, that’s all.”
“Have you noticed how she’s managed to wrap those kids of yours around her little finger? Why, they about fall all over themselves being helpful and respectful.”
“Let me get this straight, Roy. Are you saying that this woman has aroused your suspicions by being too good?”
Roy thought about that for a minute. “You gotta admit it ain’t real natural.”
“Do you think she has an ulterior motive? Other than possibly taking Freda’s job, of course.”
“That’d be bad enough.”
“You’re missing Freda, I take it.”
Roy’s ears glowed red. “Well, I guess I’ve gotten used to her ways. A fella doesn’t like change in his life, you know? I prefer a set routine, something I can count on.”
“Do you think Noelle’s undependable? Untrustworthy? What?”
Roy scratched his ear and frowned, thinking. “I just don’t want to see you and the children hurt, that’s all.”
“It may be my imagination, but the kids have seemed much happier since she arrived.”
Roy leaned on the table and looked at Bret from beneath his bushy brows. “They ain’t the only ones. I actually heard you laugh the other day.”
“You didn’t! Why, Roy, I’m shocked.”
“You gotta admit that it takes some gittin’ used to.”
Bret’s smile slowly faded. “You’re right, Roy. I guess I hadn’t noticed the number of changes that have occurred recently. I haven’t been one to laugh very much these past few years.”
“Don’t suppose you found much to laugh about.”
“That’s true.”
Roy nodded, still thinking through the subject very carefully. “So maybe, in that respect, having Miss Noelle come to stay a spell’s been good for you.”
“You think so?”
After a long moment, Roy said, “I reckon I do. I guess not every change is necessarily bad.”
“There’s a positive thought, Roy. Very positive. I’ll keep it in mind.” He pushed back his chair. “Guess we’d better get ready for this big shopping trip.”
“That’s one of the things I’ve been talking about. You always found fifteen good reasons why you was always too busy to go into town during Christmas season. Now you seem almost eager.”
Bret sighed and lightly tapped Roy on the shoulder with his fist. “I can’t begin to explain it, myself. It must be the Christmas season…maybe it’s contagious and I’ve just now caught it.”
Bret left the room and headed up the stairs, thinking about their conversation. He met the three older children clattering down the steps, and got hugs from his daughters and a casual wave from his oldest son. He glanced into Travis’s room on his way past, and abruptly halted. Travis was sitting on the side of his bed, holding the framed picture of Patti.
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