“Something wrong?” he asked casually, leaning against the doorjamb.
Travis looked up. “No. I was just talkin’ to Mommy. ‘Splaining stuff to her.”
“I see.”
“Are we ready to go?”
“Just about. You’re looking pretty sharp there, fella. Did you get dressed on your own?”
“Mostly. Sally helped me with my boots ’cause sometimes I get ’em on the wrong feet.”
“You did a fine job.”
“I wanted to look good for Santa.”
“He’s bound to be impressed.” He turned away. “I’ll see you downstairs.” Bret went into his room, wondering what exactly Travis had needed to “’splain” to Patti.
He also wondered how he was going to get through today without revealing how hard it was to become a part of the Christmas scene. He was doing everything he could to release the past without letting those around him know how difficult it was for him.
Roy was right. Noelle had made it much easier for him. She had a way of looking at him as though she could see deep down into his soul…to the place where his most private feelings were stored. How could someone who appeared so young and naive continue to project so much warmth, empathy and caring? At times it was all he could do not to gather her in his arms and just hold her close, knowing how good he’d feel.
The problem with taking Noelle in his arms and holding her as he’d done last night was the fact that he forgot all about her empathy and caring and was immediately made aware of her womanly warmth and how blasted good she felt in his embrace.
He didn’t want to take advantage of their situation but after last night he knew the temptations were steadily mounting.
By the time Bret returned downstairs Roy and the older children had already left. Noelle and Travis waited patiently for him in the kitchen.
“Sorry to take so long,” Bret said sheepishly.
Travis took his hand. “It’s okay, Daddy. Don’t be scared in the big stores. I’ll hold your hand so you don’t get losted.”
“I appreciate that, son.”
Travis beamed up at him. “’Course it helps to have an angel along, you know.”
Bret raised his brow slightly. “Good point. I’m obviously in good hands today.” He reached down and picked up Travis. “Let’s hit the road, pardner.” He paused in the doorway and held the door open for Noelle. She looked up at him and smiled. His heart lunged in his chest like a spooked mustang and raced at an alarming rate.
Over a simple smile?
He gave his head a sharp shake, reminding himself that he wasn’t some adolescent kid with a schoolboy crush. Now he had to convince his body of the fact.
Bret hadn’t been to San Antonio in several months. For that matter, he hadn’t been anywhere other than the ranch and the small town nearby where he bought supplies. Forcing himself out today made him realize how limited he’d been.
When they came in on the northern outskirts of the city, the traffic had picked up considerably, a strong reminder of why he avoided big cities during the holiday season. He reminded himself that there was no hurry, they had most of the day, and eventually edged into the lane he needed to exit for the mall.
The mall had been designed to cater to large crowds so the parking lot was immense. However, they circled for almost twenty minutes before he happened to spot the flash of backup lights of a vehicle just ahead. With a muttered comment, he waited until the elderly couple pulled out, then whipped into the available space.
“Wow! I didn’t ever think we’d find a place, did you, Daddy?”
“I was beginning to wonder, myself.” He glanced at Noelle—who had kept Travis entertained during the two-hour drive from the ranch—and smiled.
Once again her response made his heart kick into overdrive.
As soon as they reached the mall itself the piped music echoed all around them. Bret almost groaned aloud. Travis skipped along between them, holding each of their hands. His eyes were shining as he took in all the tinseled splendor.
“When are we going to see Santa?”
Bret gave Noelle a knowing look. “I have a hunch we’d better put that first on our list.”
They had no trouble finding Santa. All they had to watch for was the long line of small children eager to talk and have their pictures taken with the man.
“Poor dear,” Bret heard Noelle mutter.
“Who?”
She glanced down at Travis who was hopping from one foot to the other, chattering with a little girl in line behind them. She nodded to the man in the Santa suit. “He’s really not enjoying the job. What a shame that he chose to take it.”
Bret looked around the large rotunda at the crowd of people. “Who could enjoy something like this?”
She looked surprised. “To be able to speak to each child, to hear their fondest hopes and dreams? I would imagine that many people would.” She looked away. “I know I enjoy it very much.”
“But you’ve only had to listen to the four at home.”
She chuckled. “That’s true.”
“Besides. How do you know he isn’t enjoying himself? He’s handling the children very professionally, I would say.”
“He’s very good. His heart’s just not in it.”
“And you can tell that from here, of course.”
She nodded. “Just as I can tell that your heart isn’t in this shopping expedition. Tell me, why did you agree to come?”
He looked down into her mesmerizing eyes for a long time before he murmured, “I’m not sure. It felt like the right thing to do at the time.”
“I’m glad you did. Perhaps it will change your attitude about Christmas.”
“What, exactly, is my attitude?”
She looked surprised. “You just want to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.”
“Do you do mind reading acts in addition to looking after households?”
“Bret, I don’t know exactly how to break this to you, but even your three-year-old son knows how you feel about Christmas.”
“That obvious, huh?”
“That obvious.”
“And here I’ve been patting myself on the back all the way to San Antonio, congratulating myself on how well I’ve hidden my feelings.”
Her spontaneous cascade of laughter caught him off guard. She rocked with hilarity, leaving him bemused. In the first place, he didn’t particularly appreciate being the object of her amusement, but more startling to him was the sound of her musical laughter. The people in line were glancing at her and smiling at her unrestrained enjoyment of the moment.
Sheepishly Bret chuckled, finally seeing the absurdity in the situation, which set her off again. He began to laugh in earnest, for no reason other than it felt good. He’d long since forgotten the last time he’d found something to laugh about. The shocked look on his son’s face was a silent reminder that in all likelihood Bret hadn’t laughed with wholesome enjoyment since Travis was born.
“What’s so funny, Daddy?”
Noelle did a commendable job of regaining control. Only her eyes still danced with laughter.
“We were just being silly,” he replied, still grinning.
“I didn’t know that daddies could be silly, just like kids.”
Bret’s gaze met Noelle’s. “I guess I kinda forgot that myself, son.”
When it became Travis’s turn to talk with Santa he gave Noelle a brief, panicked look. She immediately knelt beside him and whispered into his ear. He nodded and his features relaxed. She gave him a quick hug and he turned away from her, walking over to Santa with quiet dignity.
Bret couldn’t hear what he was saying, but he could certainly see his son’s earnestness.
“Do you know what it is he wants for Christmas?” Bret asked.
“Yes.”
When she didn’t say anything more, Bret verbally nudged her by saying, “Aren’t you going to tell me?”
“No.” Her smile took any sting out
of the quiet response.
“It’s going to be tough for me to see that he gets it if I don’t know what he wants.”
“I’m sure he’ll tell you in his own good time.”
“I don’t think so. He wouldn’t tell me the last time we discussed it.”
“Perhaps he didn’t find the timing to be the best.”
“Are you telling me that a three-year-old has the knowledge and intelligence to plan strategy?”
“It’s an instinctive form of survival. He’s watched how his older brother and sisters manage to get what they want from you. They know when to leave you alone—when you’re tired and hungry or upset about something. They also know when to approach you…when you’re well fed and in an expansive mood.”
“I had no idea I was so easy to read.”
“Your children know that you are all they have, therefore you’ve assumed a position of major importance in their existence. They instinctively know that it is mandatory for them to understand you well.”
Travis came bounding over to them and said, “When do we eat?”
Noelle laughed. “I can see you have your priorities straight.”
It was over a sandwich in the food court section of the mall that Bret said to Travis, “Tell us about your visit with Santa.”
Travis swallowed, then took a sip from his straw before he said, “I liked him, even though he wasn’t the real Santa.”
Bret eyed him warily. “He wasn’t?”
Travis looked at his dad in disgust. “’Course not. The real Santa doesn’t have time to sit around and talk to people this close to Christmas. But he told me that he’d be sure to pass my message on to the real Santa.”
Bret refused to meet Noelle’s eyes. “That’s comforting to know.” After a few more minutes of silence while they finished their meals, he asked, “So what was your message?”
This time Travis wouldn’t meet his father’s eyes. “I can’t tell. It’s a secret.” He looked at Bret with a wide-eyed gaze. “But I think you’ll like it, Daddy.”
Bret sat back. “Me? I thought we were talking about what you want for Christmas?”
Travis looked like a mischievous cherub. “It’s for both of us…all of us…the whole family!”
Now Bret did look at Noelle but her attention seemed to be fully caught by something beyond their table. Whatever was going on, he’d need to get some answers soon.
By the time they met Roy and the other children Bret felt as though he’d been pulled through a knothole backward. Where did everyone get their energy? The noise and the crowd had given him a headache. He was too used to the solitude of wide open spaces to ever get used to the turmoil swirling around him.
Roy spoke up. “I’ve been thinkin’, boss. Why don’t you let me take Travis and the kids back with me. We’ll stop and eat on the way home and maybe drop by to see Freda for a while. That’ll give you and Noelle some time to yourselves.”
Bret was surprised at the suggestion. He was more surprised at the eager expressions worn by all his children. They must really miss Freda.
“I suppose so, Roy.” He glanced down at Noelle. “What do you say?”
“Whatever we do is fine with me. I’m along for the ride.”
And so it was that Bret found himself having dinner with Noelle some time later at a restaurant overlooking the river in downtown San Antonio, a restaurant Roy had suggested.
“What a beautiful view,” she was saying, staring out the window.
“Have you ever visited San Antonio before?”
She shook her head, smiling.
“So what do you think of the city?”
Her eyes sparkled. “I’m fascinated by everything. This is such an exciting time of the year.”
“How do you generally spend your Christmases? Do you go home?”
After a brief hesitation, she nodded. “Yes…at home.”
He smiled. “Well, you’ve made our Christmas season much more joyous this year. I’m not certain what we would have done without you.”
“I feel very blessed. The time seems to have rushed by. There’s only a few more days until Christmas.”
“We haven’t talked about that, have we…I mean, how long you’ve been here, and your salary—”
“Oh, please!” Noelle looked quite distressed. “I can’t accept money for helping you. I have all that I need. Perhaps Freda—”
He took her hand. “I’ve already reassured Freda that all her bills are taken care of. She knows how much I value her. She will never do without anything as long as I’m able to look after her.”
Her smile trembled with sweetness. “I’m so glad.”
“You are?”
She blinked. “Yes, of course. I’m touched to know she means so much to you. You’re a very honorable man.”
It was his turn to sit back in surprise. “Me? What have I done?”
“Still care about those around you, despite the pain you’ve been experiencing.”
He looked at her for a long while without saying anything. When he did, his voice sounded gruff to his ears. “Speaking of being honorable, I need to apologize to you.”
“For what?”
“For my behavior last night. I shouldn’t have grabbed you the way I did…and I sure shouldn’t have kissed you.” He fought not to squirm like a schoolboy confessing to the authorities. “I had no business taking advantage of you. You’re a guest in my home and deserve my respect.” When he finally forced himself to look up from the coffee sitting in front of him all he saw in her face was curiosity. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand. By kissing me you showed me disrespect?”
He couldn’t think of how to respond. She looked honestly curious, rather than offended or disapproving. Didn’t she understand anything about men? His thoughts unerringly raced back to the kiss…to the second kiss that she had initiated. A ripple of awareness ran over him. She might have seemed inexperienced during their first kiss but as for the second one…whatever she might have lacked in experience she certainly made up for in enthusiasm.
He shook the disturbing memories away. “What I’m trying to do is to reassure you that it won’t happen again. I promise.”
Darned if she didn’t look disappointed! This conversation wasn’t going the way he’d expected. He didn’t know what to say.
She didn’t help matters any. She reached across the table and touched the back of his hand with her fingertips. “I enjoyed kissing you, Bret Bishop. Please don’t apologize. If you prefer not to kiss me again, I can accept that, but you did nothing wrong.”
His hand tingled where she touched him and he was having trouble getting his tongue to come unglued from the top of his mouth when he heard his name being called in a light, feminine voice.
“Bret? Bret Bishop! Is it you?”
He glanced around, then stood with a grin. “Gina Sweeney! I don’t believe it.” He held out his hand. “I haven’t seen you in a coon’s age. How are you?”
She took his proffered hand in both of hers and said, “It’s Montgomery, now, although I’ve been divorced from Hal for almost four years.” Gina’s face shone with pleasure. “My, but it’s good to see you after all this time. When I looked across the room I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
Bret turned and said, “Noelle, I want you to meet Gina. We went all the way through school together, from the first grade until we graduated from high school.” He shook his head in wonder. “I haven’t seen you since graduation, which has been—”
She laughingly interrupted. “More years than I want to admit to.” She offered her hand to Noelle. “I’m very pleased to meet you. Noelle. Such an unusual name, but it seems perfect for you, somehow.”
Bret looked to the table where Gina had been and saw another couple. Before he could ask, she explained, “I’m visiting friends here in San Antonio. They’ve been after me to come see them for so long. I haven’t been back to Texas in years. Finally I decided on the spur-of-t
he-moment to fly down and visit for a few days.”
He motioned to a chair. “Well, sit down for a minute. Let me find out what you’ve been doing.”
Gracefully she slid into the chair he offered. “I’ve been working in the court system in a county just north of Nashville for several years. Hal’s an attorney there. We had an amicable divorce, which made it so much more comfortable to stay on there. I really love my work.”
“Do you have any children?”
“One…a girl.” She looked at the two of them and asked, “Do you and Noelle have children?”
“Oh, we—” Noelle began to say when Bret cut in.
“We have four—two of each.”
“Still ranching?”
“Of course. That’s all the Bishops know how to do.”
She shook her head. “Better you than me. I could hardly wait to get out of ranching country.” She grinned. “Give me city lights any day.”
After a few minutes of discussing old classmates and their possible whereabouts, Gina said, “Well, it’s been wonderful running into you like this. If you ever get to Tennessee be sure to contact me.”
Since she’d already given him her address and phone number, he nodded. As soon as she left their table Bret looked at Noelle and smiled. “Are you ready to go?”
“Whenever you are.” She stood and he helped her with her jacket. After paying the waiter, Bret took her hand and led her out of the restaurant into the cool night.
Once outside they walked to the truck in silence. Noelle waited until they left the city limits before she spoke.
“Bret?”
“Hmm?”
“Why did you let your friend think that you and I were married?”
He was quiet for a moment, thinking. “I don’t know, really. I guess because I didn’t think it really mattered to the conversation.”
“But she’s single.”
“Yeah, so she said.”
“And you’re single.”
“So?”
“Haven’t you given any thought to the possibility that you might marry again someday?”
Another long silence ensued. “Now that you mention it,” he drawled, “maybe the thought has crossed my mind once or twice recently, why?”
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