by Rye Hart
When my belly started to grow and the sickness persisted, I knew it was the truth. My heart was beating wildly as I stirred dinner, Regina on my hip. She was chewing on a damp cloth. Her teeth were coming in and the poor thing was incredibly fussy.
The door clicked and opened and the sound of familiar boots made me grin. I ran over to the door, setting Regina in her crib as I helped Connor take his hat and boots off.
“How were the cattle today?” I asked, glancing up at him.
“They hate marching through that snow, though I suppose I would too. I sent two of them off to the slaughter house so we can have salted meats for the winter.”
I took his hand and led him to his chair, gently pushing him down to sit. I knelt at his feet and took his hands, holding them close and pressing them to my lips. “Connor, there’s something I need to tell you,” I started.
His brows furrowed a little and he looked me up and down. “Is everything alright?”
“Everything is more than alright, Connor,” I whispered, my eyes bright and excited.
He leaned forward as if I were going to whisper the good news to him. I chuckled and reached out to cup his cheeks, staring into the eyes of the man I had come to love. Neither of us had spoken our love yet, but we both knew deep down in our hearts how the other felt.
“I do believe I’m pregnant, darling,” I whispered, my eyes lighting up with joy.
He jumped up from the chair, staring down at me with wide eyes. A grin started to slowly spread across his face and he lifted me from the floor, holding me in his arms and spinning me around, laughing wildly.
“Pregnant? Really?”
I laughed and kicked my feet up, throwing my arms around his neck as he lifted me into the air, nodding quickly. “Yes!”
He pulled me into his arms and held me so tight I thought we might become one person. I had never seen him this happy before. I had been a little hesitant about telling him since his first wife had died during birth and I didn’t want to stir up those emotions again. But there was no fear here, only excitement and an undiluted happiness.
After a moment he pulled away and cupped my cheeks, staring down at me. He looked as if he might say something but he instead crashed our lips together and held me in the kiss, grinning as he stroked some hair out of my face.
“I love you,” he said.
My eyes widened at the words and I pressed myself against him, hands resting against his chest. “You what?” I whispered, my mouth going dry.
“I love you,” he said again, a bit louder this time. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” He emphasized each phrase with a tender kiss. “I never thought I could love again, Sara, but I love you. You came into my life and you turned it upside down in the most wonderful way. I thought of this as a business arrangement and I never expected to fall for you like this,” he whispered, his words almost coming out too fast.
Tears came to my eyes and I buried my face in his chest, clinging to his shirt. “I love you too. I never thought a man could love me; I thought I was unlovable but you changed my life. My sister always told me God had a plan for me and she was right. This is right; it’s what’s meant to be,” I whispered, looking up at him and trying to blink the tears from my eyes.
His thumbs brushed over my cheeks, wiping away the tears as he pressed his forehead to mine. We didn’t say anything after that. Everything we needed to communicate could be understood in our silence.
Chapter Seven
The town was bustling with excitement. Being the small town it was, news spread fast and soon enough everyone knew I was with child. Women would drop by the house and offer me baskets of fresh vegetables, fruits, and advice. They brought jams, pies, and everything else you could possibly think of. It seemed the entire town had a goal of keep me happy and I was more than willing to accept their generosity.
A few of the local merchants even put together a crib and some baby clothes for the new addition. It was explained to me that when a couple had their first child, it was a big to-do. The town liked to come together and help the new parents in any way they could. I had never seen anything like it in New York and the sense of community gave me a warm, happy feeling in my belly.
Everyone knew about the tragedy Connor had suffered when his first wife passed. He had loved her dearly and so had the rest of the town. I knew I would never replace her in his heart or in the hearts of the town folk, and that was all right. All I could hope for was to honor her memory and make my husband happy and be a good mother to Regina.
The only person in town who wasn’t happy was Ariel. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still hurt that someone would look on me with such disdain. I was trying to live my life as happily as possible and there was one woman standing in the corner, glowering at me. If looks could kill, I would have been dead three times over.
I ignored her to the best of my ability, but she was making it hard. I began to notice that she would pass by my window once a day or so, peeking in but running off when I noticed her. I didn’t think much of it at first and didn’t even bother telling Connor.
I was worried about him; the poor man was so nervous about my pregnancy. He didn’t want anything to go wrong and the fear that he might lose me like he lost Racheal was more than evident. I was struggling to stay quiet about it, but I could read him like an open book. In order to appease him, I stuck to light house work and stopped working outside when my stomach continued to grow.
My hands brushed over my large belly and I smiled softly, rubbing the taut skin and humming a soft lullaby. My baby had given me a new lease on life. I was excited to be a mother and eager to meet my child. Regina was sleeping soundly in the crib as I washed the vegetables that Connor and the farmhand had brought in. Now that I was banned from farm work, we relied on a young boy to help us.
The sound of a cow bell ringing caught my ear. It sounded as if the cow was much further from the barn than it should have been. I frowned and set the carrot in the sink and dried my hands on my apron. I made my way outside and was surprised to find one of the young milking cows near the edge of the farm. There was a steep slope there and I was afraid the poor thing might go over the edge.
I clicked my tongue, but the cow didn’t come. It just chewed on a fresh patch of grass. As I got closer I realized she was fastened to a tree. It was strange that someone would tie her up so close to that ledge. I frowned a little but undid the cow and started to lead her away. When I heard a twig snap I turned around just in time to see Ariel jump from the trees, arms extended.
She shoved me back towards the ledge, her fingers tangled in my dress. “You’re going to regret ever coming here!” she screamed, pushing me back.
I stumbled and grabbed her arms, trying desperately to keep from going over the edge, but it was no use. Ariel was taller than me and she had caught me by surprise. I had no defense so I started screaming, hoping to drawn the attention of the farmhand or Connor.
“Ariel! Please don’t do this!” I gasped, my heels meeting the ledge.
The drop wasn’t too far down, but it was enough to do damage to a pregnant woman. Ariel’s eyes were raging and full of hatred; I had never seen so much anger or malice in one person’s eyes. Her teeth were clenched and her hair was a wild mess around her face.
“I’m going to get rid of you and take Connor for myself! Things would have worked out if you never showed up!” she screamed wildly.
She was delusional and jealous, but this didn’t seem like the best time to bring up either of those things. Panic was welling up inside of me and I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I had to try and protect my baby at any cost.
“Ariel. We can talk about this. We can talk through this! Connor’s heart will shatter if he loses another baby! You can’t do this to him! It will crush him,” I tried to reason with her. “If you truly love him, you can’t hurt him like this.”
For a moment, her face softened and she looked as if she might let me go, but then the crazed look co
me to her eyes again. She just smiled softly and cocked her head to one side.
“He’ll thank me for this one day,” she whispered before giving a final shove.
I tumbled backwards into the bramble, the branches scratching my face on the way down. I curled around myself, trying to protect my belly from the impact. I didn’t fall far, but when I hit the ground I heard the distinct sound of bones snapping. My head hit the ground and my vision began to swim.
The last thing I remember was the sound of Connor yelling for help and a warm stickiness pooling between my legs. I didn’t have to see it to know it was blood.
Chapter Eight
I don’t know how long I was out. The world seemed to fade in and out as I was carried from the small ravine I had fallen into. I remembered Connor’s warmth and his manly scent. I remembered hearing his voice shake as he carried me, running through town and screaming for the doctor. People gathered around me, trying to stop the bleeding even as Connor rushed me into the doctor’s home.
As I started to come to I blinked against the blinding light, groaning and turning my head to the side. The doctor clicked his tongue as he wrapped one of my arms with bandages and splints.
“You had a nasty fall young lady. You’re lucky you only broke your arm,” he said.
I reached my good arm up towards the light, groaning and shifting from side to side. “Where is Connor?” I whispered, looking around for my love.
When he finally came into view, a smile started to spread across my face. It was so good to see him. I felt dizzy, but I knew it would all be okay as long as he was there. He reached out and held my cheeks in his hand, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.
“What were you doing by the ravine?” he whispered. I could tell he wanted to shake me and I was thankful that he refrained.
Suddenly I remembered. “My baby! Is that baby ok?”
“Your baby is fine, Mrs. Wright. It was a close call, but you seem to have managed to fall in a way that did no harm to the baby.”
Relief flooded every inch of my body and I took a deep breath, though I wasn’t off the hook just yet. I could still see the fear and upset in my husband’s eyes. I sat up slowly and held my hands out to Connor. “Help me sit up.”
Connor did as I asked and helped me sit up. “Sara why were you by the ravine?” he asked again, his voice softer this time. He was doing his best to keep himself under control.
I groaned and put a hand to my forehead. “One of the cows was in the brush and I wanted to get her away from the ledge,” I told him. Connor started to speak but I stopped him. “Ariel came out of the trees and she pushed me,” I finished, my heart aching.
“Ariel did this?” he roared, standing up.
“Yes,” I said, sounding for more hurt than angry. I didn’t want to be angry with the woman. She was so sad and lost in this world. I knew it was the only reason she had attempted to do such a horrendous thing.
Connor was shaking with anger and my head throbbed desperately. His hands were drawn into clenched fists and his teeth with grinding against one another. He was beyond furious. I knew that some of his anger was fear, but he wouldn’t recognize that. All he could see was red and I knew it. Ariel had gone too far and I should have been just as angry.
Maybe if my baby had been hurt, I wouldn’t have been willing to forgive her, but something in my soul told me that anger wasn’t what was needed here. I felt a warm spirit fill my chest and it was as if God was instructing me. Anger would only make things worse. In order to fix this, we needed to forgive.
Connor clearly wasn’t getting the same guidance I was because he was quivering with rage. The doctor was finishing up with my arm and glanced between us.
“Perhaps it’s time to get the law involved, Mr. Wright,” the doctor suggested, wrapping up the last bit of my arm.
I looked down at the fractured limb and then up at Connor. He snatched his hat off a lonely chair and walked towards the door. “I don’t need the law,” he growled angrily.
My eyes widened and I jumped up, stumbling. My head swam with the sudden movement and Connor reached out, catching me with ease.
“Where are you going Sara?”
“I’m going with you! I can’t let you do anything irrational!”
I wasn’t trying to disrespect him, but I had seen Connor when he was angry and he didn’t always make the best decisions when he was filled with rage and this was pure, fiery rage. The look in his eyes was too much like what I had seen in Ariel’s eyes for my comfort.
I wasn’t going to let this chain of hatred continue.
Chapter Nine
“You are not going to the church with me,” Connor commanded.
It was Wednesday night and the entire town would be attending. My eyes narrowed and I looked up at him, my gaze determined. I had always been a strong-willed woman, and while the last few years I had been struggling to regain that determination and independence, I knew who I was now.
“I’m going with you whether you give me permission or not. I am your wife, but I can still make my own decisions,” I stated firmly.
He looked at me as if I was crazy and maybe I was, but that wasn’t going to stop me. “Why would you want to be in the same room as the woman who tried to kill you and our baby?”
“You have to trust me, Connor. I just know that I need to be there.”
I knew I couldn’t tell him that I planned to stand up for Ariel and even forgive her. He would have thought me absolutely insane and I knew he wouldn’t let me do it. If I was going to help Ariel, I needed to keep my intention a secret.
Connor looked at me, his eyes narrowed and his jaw set. Finally, he grunted and turned towards the door, though he didn’t try and stop me. We marched through the empty town and straight to the church. The sound of hymns floated on the cool summer breeze and my heart jumped into my throat. I was still a little wobbly on my feet, but I knew God would give me the strength I needed. Connor glanced back and checked on me every now and then, but I knew his concern lie within the church.
He pushed the doors open and the singing came to a halt. He walked through the rows of pews and didn’t come to a stop until he was looking Ariel. The woman turned to look at Connor slowly and I was only a little surprised at the strange look of hopefulness on her face. Somehow she thought that Connor might still fall for her.
He grabbed her wrist and yanked her out of the pew, causing everyone to gasp. His hand flew out and he pointed at me, his eyes wild with anger.
“Do you realize what you almost did?” he growled.
Ariel’s husband stood up but Connor gave him a look that made him fall right back in his seat. Tears were pooling in Ariel’s eyes as the realization hit her. She stared at Connor and then at me, looking at us helplessly as if she didn’t understand what she had done wrong.
“Connor, I was only doing it so we could be together,” she whispered.
Connor squeezed her wrist so tight that she screamed and fell to her knees, clawing at his hand and trying to get him to let go. She had no such luck and soon she was sobbing, begging for mercy. A few of the other townspeople stood up, ready to help her, but Connor was livid.
“She tried to kill my child!” he screamed. “She pushed Sara into the ravine to try and kill my child!”
When he yelled this, the townspeople’s faces hardened and they all sat back on the pews. Connor dragged Ariel to her feet and pulled her towards the priest.
“Beg forgiveness! You ask God to forgive you for your jealous, sinful ways!”
Ariel fell to her knees, tears streaming down her reddened cheeks. I watched in horror as people began yelling at her, repeating Connors chants. Some were even calling for her to be thrown out of town. I looked around, my head spinning as hatred and anger took over this house of God.
As the anger reached a fever pitch I looked up and saw a white dove fly in through the rafters. Its feathers were as white as the purest light and I knew what I had to do. I ran through the jeering cro
wd and fell to my knees where Ariel knelt, sobbing into her hands.
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled the woman to my body, shielding her from the angry eyes of the townspeople. My head shot up and I glared out into the crowd.
“Stop this madness!” I yelled, my voice strong and confident.
The crowd fell silent, confused looks coming to the faces of everyone in the crowd. Connor looked down at me, wide-eyed.
“What are you doing, Sara?”
“I’m doing what is right!”
Ariel sobbed into my dress, pleading for my forgiveness, shaking her head back and forth. I gazed out at the crowd and shook my head.
“This woman does not need your anger. Hatred begets hatred,” I said desperately. “We need to fix her with love and forgiveness and there is no better place for those things than a house of God. This is where we forgive our brothers and sisters for their sins and I don’t see why we should change that now!”
Ariel looked up at me, her eyes wide and wet. “Why are you doing this?” she whispered.
I smiled at her sadly and brushed my fingers over her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “Because I understand. I understand what it’s like to feel trapped. I know what it’s like to want to change your life, but you feel like you’re backed into a corner. I was like that too, until I moved here and I found freedom and love. I know you’re unhappy, but this isn’t the way to fix that, Ariel. What’s meant to be will find its way. You and Connor were not meant to be, but God will show you the way, you just have to listen,” I whispered cupping her cheek.
The congregation watched with surprise and a few tears. I smiled at Ariel and I stroked her hair.
“I forgive you, Ariel. I forgive you and God will forgive you. This isn’t the end of your life, this is the beginning of something wonderful.”
Her lip began to tremble and she collapsed against me, wrapping her arms around me as she sobbed into my chest, whispering words of thanks over and over again. The rest of the church was silent for a moment before finally, one by one, people stood and threw their arms up to the sky, singing hymns and praises to the rafters.