IfYouDeceive_lit

by kc

  And Ethan had planned to hurt her worse.

  How could it be worse for her? He remembered the look on her face as she’d picked herself up in that tavern. How many times had she had to do just that over the last ten years here…?

  Just walk away.

  This information, taken with the way Madeleine had said his name like a bloody benediction—with that undisguised longing…Even I’m no’ cruel enough to do anything more to her.

  He briefly closed his eyes as he finally admitted the truth to himself. He had come here because hewanted Madeleine. The revenge aspect only allowed him to justify the idea of a man like him using a young innocent like her.

  If you are no’ bent on punishing her, then what right do you have to her?

  None. None whatsoever.

  He couldn’t take her away to hurt her, and he sure as hell couldn’t keep her. He’d fix her problem with the lender, then get out of her life. Hell, he could even send some money later.

  Abandon her here?After he’d convinced her that he was taking her with him?

  What choice did he have? If he took her away, would he find himself saddled with her? He had a profession, a solitary one, and he wanted to get back to it.Damn it, I doona want to get stuck with her.

  Help her, then leave her. Of course. “Tell me how to find Toumard.”

  Twenty-six

  “Shouldn’t you be resting?” Maddy asked when Bea rose from the bed and dressed.

  “Maddée, if I rested every time I had a blue eye,” she said in a deliberate tone as though explaining to a child, “I would do little else,n’est-ce pas ? Now, let’s sit on your balcony and you can tell me everything that happened last night.”

  When Bea opened her door, MacCarrick and Corrine appeared to have just finished their conversation. His stony gaze flickered over Bea’s eye, and his jaw clenched.

  To Maddy, he said, “I’ll return soon.”

  “Are you going to see Toumard?” At his short nod, she said, “Can I come with you?”

  “Absolutely no’. Stay here, enjoy a going-away drink together.”

  “Very well,” she finally said, confused by his mood change. He seemed to have trouble looking her in the eyes just before he left them to wait in Maddy’s apartment.

  The three had just agreed to sell the pricey bottles when the door opened once more. MacCarrick had returned.

  To open the champagne.

  “Some things are meant to be enjoyed in the moment, are they no’?” he said, with another fuming glance at Bea’s face. To Maddy, he added, “So that you doona go out to sell it by the glass…”He filled her new reticule with cash.

  Her jaw dropped at the wad of money. “This is four hundred francs! Do you want me to go buy a piano? Or a cabriolet?”

  “Un bateau!” Bea cried with a clap. “A boat!”

  Maddy leaned into her, play-shoving her with her shoulder. MacCarrick didn’t come close to smiling.

  “Well, let’s pour it up!” Corrine said, taking out chipped porcelain mugs from under Maddy’s stove. When she offered a cup to MacCarrick, he waved his share away. “Doona drink.”

  “Plus pour nous,” Bea said, her tone delighted.More for us . Even after her run-in with the henchmen, Bea was likely deeming this one of the best days of her life.

  “I’ll be back,” MacCarrick said to Maddy with a curt nod.

  “Please be careful, Scot.”

  When the door shut behind MacCarrick once more and they heard him stomping down the stairs, Bea fanned herself and whispered, “I’m in love. Maddée, do you know he sent us lobsters last night? I’m not jesting.” She added with a sigh, “Pretty lobsters…”

  Maddy grinned. MacCarrick was turning out to be such a…surprise, giving her a new day, a new beginning. She hurried to the balcony to watch him striding away.So tall, strapping, confident. Just as he had been the first time she’d spotted him—when he’d been huntingfor her .

  “I think you might have a diamond in the rough there,” Corrine said behind her.

  Maddy was beginning to think so, as well. In London, he’d been the first person ever to fight for her—and now he was marching out to do battle again.

  “Très viril,” Bea added, joining them.

  There was that, too. She blushed to recall the way he’d pleasured her so perfectly in the shop—twice. She believed that her nights spent tossing in her sheets, yearning and lonely, were ended.

  “Now, Maddy girl,” Corrine began with a sniffle, “we’ve got to drink two bottles of champagne and get you packed by the time your fiancé comes back.”

  Maddy nodded, then set about divvying between her two friends the new cash windfall, her stash of coupons, and her contraband. After she’d packed the few things that were dear to her, they sat outside drinking and awaiting his return.

  She was stunned to realize this could be the last time the three ever sat here like this. “If he’s legitimate, I’ll send more money as soon as I can.” In fact, she’d be sendingfor them , but she didn’t want to get their hopes up before she knew if she could trust him implicitly.

  “And if he’s not legitimate?” Bea asked.

  Maddy hesitated. “Corrine, can you hold my room for a couple of months, just in case?”

  “Naturally,” Corrine said, then added, “but I do hope this works out with him. Just remember, Maddy, with a man that strong-willed, you’ll get more with honey than with vinegar.”

  She sipped her champagne. “And if I run out of honey…?”

  What would be worse for her?Ethan thought on the way back from killing Toumard.Mixed up with a man like myself or left behind?

  At heart, Ethan was a selfish bastard. If he took her away, eventually this superficial noble streak would fade.A man canna change his nature .

  Get away from her…just bloodythinkabout this for a while. Doona do anything drastic.

  But the idea of leaving her behind felt so wrong that it pained him physically.

  If Maddy didn’t get out of this slum, then at best, she’d become like Corrine—working to the bone, old before her time. Or she could become like Bea—or worse. Then Madeleine would have some man lifting her skirts in a reeking alley while his friend waited.

  Ethan’s fists clenched even now. If Toumard had had his way, that would have been her within mere weeks.

  Ethan had already known he’d have to kill Toumard. When the man had coldly informed him what he’d been planning to do to Madeleine—sampleher before putting her to work—Ethan had burned to. He would have shot him in cold blood if Toumard hadn’t drawn on him.

  Breaking the arms of the henchmen…? Well, that had merely been sport.

  If Ethan left Madeleine, there were a thousand more like Toumard eager to prey on a girl like her, and she now had no marriage prospects. Except for bloody Quin. Ethan would have to remember that. As soon as Quin learned that Ethan had left her alone, he’d come charging down to Paris to save her. Perhaps Ethan should let him.

  The thought of them together clawed at him.

  Damn it, do nothing drastic….Ethan was a man who liked to have a plan. Now that his initial one was absolutely extinguished, he cast about for what to do next. The facts: The most desirable woman he’d ever beheld desired him back. He’d contributed to her painful past and could ease her troubles now. He’d vowed that he wouldn’t rest until he’d had her again, and when he made decisions, he bloody stuck by them. He would take her away, seduce her, then settle money on her. He’d be getting her out of this place—in the end, she’d be thankful.

  Yet when he arrived back at her building, he was still uncertain. Then he found her hurrying from the entrance, her face lit with a relieved smile. Having grown accustomed to expressions of disappointment or fear whenever he arrived somewhere, he looked over his shoulder before catching himself.

  When they reached each other, she appeared to check him over to make sure he wasn’t hurt. Shortly after, Bea and Corrine emerged to see them off, handing Maddy her small bag
.

  “Write to us,” Corrine told Madeleine as she wiped away a tear.

  “Of course.” Hugging them both, Madeleine sniffled. “Take care of each other.”

  Bea gave a watery nod, and another round of lingering good-byes ensued before he could steer Madeleine away. As he led her to the top of the hill, she waved over her shoulder until her friends were out of sight.

  While they waited for a cab, Ethan said, “Madeleine, I need to speak with you.” It seemed everyone on every stoop watched them. “I’ve thought of some things.”

  “I see.” She didn’t appear surprised. Had she expected him to disappoint her?

  Why? She soddingliked him. Even his brothers—who Ethan knew would die for him—didn’t seem tolike him. He made Court wary, and he continually disappointed Hugh.

  How would Hugh feel, knowing his older brother had taken the virtue of a defenseless girl? Then abandoned her in Paris?

  Hugh’s parting words in London echoed in Ethan’s head.“What if she’s the one?” he’d asked again.“The irony would be that you’ve somehow found her, you actually get to keep her, and yet you intend to hurt her beyond forgiving.”

  But Ethanalready had hurt her, well before he’d ever met her. And the longer she was with him, the more likely it was that he’d hurt her again. It was simply his nature; he had no talent at pleasing others.

  Perhaps Madeleine needed to better understand what he was truly like.

  “What do you want to tell me?” Maddy asked, trying to hide her disappointment. She’d known this situation was too good to be true, and now MacCarrick looked as though he was plagued with second thoughts. When he began to speak, only to fall silent, she asked, “Did you pay off Toumard?”

  “You owe him nothing,” he replied in a cryptic tone.

  She frowned. “Did you…kill him?”

  “Aye, I plugged a bullet into his skull.” His eyes flickered over her face for her reaction.

  She sighed.A fierce protector returning from battle. When she nodded up at him, he seemed confounded that she wasn’t running away.

  “Damn it, lass, why do you keep looking at me like that? I doona care for it. And I just informed you that I bloody killed a man this morning.”

  Maybe MacCarrick wasn’t having second thoughts—maybe he was merely feeling guilt for what he’d done. “I hope you don’t feel bad about that. La Marais is a better place without Toumard in it. But we do need to get you out of the city. Do you think we can stay aboard the steamer before it departs tomorrow?”

  He froze, then jerked his head back. “I will never figure you out. I ken that now. Because you’recrazed .”

  She waved his comment away. “Did you offer to pay him?” she asked.

  He said nothing.

  “So you offered to pay him, and he refused. He never wanted money from me. He planned to put me to work like Berthé, didn’t he?”

  MacCarrick’s eyes bored into hers, raw fury burning in their dark depths. His voice was seething when he said, “Aye, after he’d bedded you himself.”

  “I see.” She felt a wave of revulsion. “Well, he didn’t leave you much choice. If he refused your money and I left town, he’d just terrorize Bea and Corrine. What did you do to his men?”

  “I broke their goddamned arms.” Whatever he saw in her expression made him snap, “No’ again! Stop lookin’ at me that way—I’ve told you I doona like it.”

  “Yes, very well. But, again, we really have to get you out of here, and quickly.” When a cab passed them, she gave an urgent whistle, but was roundly ignored. She muttered a curse; then suddenly her eyes went wide. “Oh, MacCarrick, what about your injury? You didn’t pull the stitches open, did you?”

  He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, raking his fingers through his hair. “You’re no’…you’re just no’ right in the head if this does no’ bother you. You’re ignoring warning flags about me because you want out of this hellhole so badly.”

  “As many times as I’ve seen death here, Toumard doesn’t warrant even a passing thought.”

  “Toumard’s far from the first man I’ve killed.”

  “I thought as much. I suspect you’re involved in some kind of dangerous, secret occupation.”

  “Aye, and I would no’ give it up—even when married.”

  Maddy studied his face. “This isn’t about you feeling guilty, is it? You really are trying to get rid of me.”

  He said nothing.Deuce it, no!

  She had the ring and the money and clothes. Toumard was taken care of. She had a future again. Why couldn’t she just brush this off as a good cull while it lasted?

  Because she wantedhim . She wanted more of his unpracticed smiles. She wanted more of what he’d given her just this morning—unimaginable pleasure.

  “You are.”Deny it…deny it! He remained silent. “Then just a suggestion. Do something truly horrible to scare me away. Do something a lot worse than killing a thug—known for maiming young women—in order to protect me and my friends. Now, I’m a big girl,” she said with false bravado. “I can take it if you’ve changed your mind,” she lied, planning to cry for days if he threw her over. “And obviously I’ve done something—”

  “No, you have no’,” he said quickly, forcefully.

  “Then why did you pursue me so strongly last night, and now you can hardly look me in the eyes? Nothing has changed except that you got to know me better.” She couldn’t help it; her eyes began to water.

  He ran his palm over the back of his neck. “Damn it, lass, every bloody thing I’ve learned about you I’ve liked. Maybe I’ve recognized that you could do better than me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  As though the words were pulled from him, he grated, “When I left, Quin thought you might be…in a compromised situation.”

  “What do you mean by a ‘compromised situation’?”

  “He suspected things with you were no’ as he’d thought them.” MacCarrick’s voice broke lower when he said, “Quin intended…to come marry you if I dinna.”

  Her lips parted. Was this what caused MacCarrick’s hesitation? Did he think Quin was a better man than he was? Quinwas a good man, and she would’ve been proud to have him, but she’d never felt as drawn to Quin, whom she’d known all her life, as she did to this rough Highlander she barely knew.

  “He was the one you wanted, so you could—”

  “I don’t want Quin,” she interrupted in a quiet tone, meeting his gaze. “I want you.”

  He looked bewildered—as if she’d just struck him—and had to cough into his fist before he could speak. “Did you no’ hear me? You can marry the man you sought.”

  “The one I sought before I metyou .” A cab finally rolled to a stop before them. “I’ve told you what I want, Scot. Now make a decision about me. But when you do, it must be final.”

  He opened the door, then paused, clutching the handle as though in a death grip.

  She drew a breath before she said, “You can’t leave, then come back for me in a month, and you can’t throw me over in a few weeks—”

  With a frustrated sound, he grabbed her by the waist. Tossing her inside, he growled, “Then get your arse into the cab.”

  Twenty-seven

  Ethan stared at the ceiling of the train car, reeling from the magnitude of what he’d done.

  The chit seemed determined to stick to him like glue. Because sheliked him. He’d admitted to murder, and she’d given him that adoring expression again.

  Sometimes being with her reminded him of going hunting with Hugh. His brother was a master rifleman, so fast to aim and shoot that even Ethan, no slouch, found himself doing a double take, frowning. That’s what he felt like with her. Always doing a double take. Always perplexed with her.

  Ach, if he wasn’t careful, he could get used to those looks she gave him.

  And when she’d met him eye to eye and told him she’d chosen him over Quin? The excitement he’d felt from winning her was i
ndescribable….

  “I have to warn you,” she said, then, “Trains have a tendency to make me very”—she yawned—“sleepy.”

  Within five minutes of their departure, her body slumped and her forehead hit his shoulder, but she jerked awake.

  She did this several times until he said, “Just fall asleep. I will no’ let anything happen to you.”

  She nodded. “Maybe I could just lie there…” She stared hungrily at his chest as if she was fantasizing sleeping against it.