IfYouDeceive_lit

by kc

  In Maddy’s imaginings. The reality had proved far different.

  He was ridiculously overprotective. “You canna walk down to the beach by yourself,” he’d decreed. “And absolutely no’ into the village.”

  “Have you forgotten where I grew up?” she’d asked. “I daresay I can handle all that the treacherous seaside village can offer. What do you think I’ll have to defend against? Scallops? Seaweed? Shells! Always the damned shells.”

  “Have your fun, young lass. But I will no’ be moved from this. You must bring Sorcha.”

  He could be moody, sometimes staring off over the sea for what seemed like hours. She would give anything to know what he was thinking about. He was possessive, preferring to have her all to himself. “What do you mean, visitors?” he’d demanded just this morning. “We had some just two weeks ago. Do you no’ like spendin’ time withme ?”

  And he could be intensely jealous…Once, when she and Ethan had spent a weekend in Ireland, an unwitting American tycoon had flirted with her on the ferry trip. She’d consoled herself by musing that the man’s bruises would eventually fade. Plus, the Yank would probably never even glance at a Highlander’s wife ever again, saving himself another beating.

  She’d discovered that Ethan’s superstitious nature ran deeper than she’d thought. He believed, for instance, that a clan seer had predicted Ethan and Maddy’s unionfive hundred years ago ….

  And if Maddy didn’t know how much income Ethan made, she’d pronounce him a spendthrift. Packages were continually arriving. He’d bought her a horse, diamonds, sapphires, emeralds, and more clothing than she could wear in a lifetime. There was nothing left in the village for him to purchase for her. When she’d casually mentioned that she wanted to restore the orangery, within a week new parts for the furnace and a crop of citrus trees had arrived.

  She had to wonder if he was buying her these gifts to make up for how poor she’d been. He couldn’t know that every gift reminded her of how much she’d lacked.

  Maddy had learned from him that his youngest brother’s wife was also rich and even had royal Spanish blood. Maddy had become acutely aware that Ethan’s brothers had both married accomplished heiresses, while Ethan had gotten the plucky chit from the slum. Maddy dreaded meeting Ethan’s family, and for some reason, she sensed he equally dreaded it.

  She’d begun wanting Ethan to see Iveley Hall, her childhood home, so he would recognize that she’d been brought up with great wealth and that her childhood had been idyllic up to a point—he needn’t try to give her everything and the moon.

  He had an estate he wanted to check on over the summer. Iveley wasn’t directly on the way, but it wasn’t more than an hour away by rail. She’d decided to write the owners and inquire if they might let her and Ethan have a short tour. Just to see it once more.

  Surely Ethan would agree to take her. Yet even as she thought it, she wondered. She’d noticed that for some reason, whenever she mentioned Iveley, he tensed. She didn’t think he even realized it, but there continued to be a barely perceptible change in him whenever she spoke of her former home. In fact, the same occurred whenever she mentioned her parents as well.

  He claimed that he’d never met her parents or been to Iveley, but sometimes she wondered if he…lied.

  He’d called her mother by her first name on more than one occasion, startling Maddy each time. And once, when Maddy had confided her fear that she would be a bad mother like her own, he’d disagreed so vehemently, she’d been taken aback. “How can you feel so strongly?” she’d asked. “Are you certain you never met her?”

  “Aye. It’s just clear that she was cruel to you, and since you doona have a cruel bone in your body, you can be nothing like her,” he’d answered so smoothly….

  But if there were shadows in their marriage, there was a great deal of sunshine as well.

  Ethan had told her he considered Corrine and Bea her kin, and he encouraged Maddy to send for them. He’d even offered to hire Corrine as a steward, since he’d seen her work ethic firsthand and still couldn’t find anyone here that he trusted. And Bea’s job? “A companion?” he’d suggested. “Or, at the rate you’re accumulating stray animals from the countryside, maybe a pet caretaker.”

  Though Maddy had beseeched them to come to England, they were reluctant, citingde mal en pire . But she thought she was wearing them down with each letter describing Carillon. In the meantime, he’d suggested that she send an eyebrow-raising amount of money to them, delighting her.

  And Ethan laughed more and more each day, regularly demonstrating a droll sense of humor. One morning when she’d been potting in the orangery, he’d strolled in. “What is this?” he’d demanded, his expression perfectly deadpan. “I doona understand the purpose of this exercise.” She’d frowned, then glanced down at her kitten, who’d been wide-eyed, affixed by tooth and claw to Ethan’s trouser leg. She’d laughed till tears had come. “It’s like a burr I canna lose,” he’d muttered, walking out with the kitten once more.

  Also good…his lovemaking was breathtaking and wicked. Yet even his desire for her seemed tinged with the same urgency with which he gave her gifts.

  Just this week when they’d gone riding, rain had begun to sprinkle down. He’d led her beneath an oak, beside a gurgling stream, and as the spring mist had lightly fallen, he’d pressed her against the tree, kissing her damp neck.

  She’d gasped. “Here, Ethan?”

  In answer, he’d slowly lifted her skirts, then ripped the slit of her pantalettes wide, making her tremble with anticipation. When he’d suckled her through her wet blouse, she’d been overwhelmed by sensation. She’d grown lost in the feel of his hot mouth against her nipples and his muscles flexing beneath her palms. The crisp, tantalizing scent of his body had mingled with that of lichen-covered rocks and fragrant heath.

  He’d lifted her, his big hand pressing her head firmly to his chest. With his other arm looped around her bottom, he’d held her in place as he’d slid inside her. When she’d moaned, swiftly on the verge, his thrusts had turned hard and furious. As she’d climaxed, he’d pumped inside her, hissing, “Let this take….”

  She knew he hadn’t realized he’d spoken out loud. The desperate need in his words and in his continued actions disquieted her….

  It was times like those—when he behaved in inexplicable ways, when she could feel that secrets and barriers and even lies remained between them—that she began to have a growing sense of foreboding.

  She told herself that her apprehension arose only because the last time she’d been this content had been directly before her life had been devastated. She’d been so unprepared for the world of La Marais. So afraid. So…useless.

  Maddy had picked herself up, again and again, learning to survive. Reflecting on the past, she didn’t know how she’d done it.

  De mal en pire.She couldn’t help it—she’d begun saving her pin money.

  Forty

  Ethan located Maddy in one of her favorite places—the orangery, with the black kitten lazing against the warm glass. That little beastie actually liked him, which only further proved Maddy’s theory on Ethan and cats.

  After leisurely kissing Maddy’s neck in greeting, he said, “I’ve received a missive from my brother.”

  “Is anything wrong?”

  “Doona know.” The cryptic message was from Hugh, so it could be about either Network business or family concerns. “Just know it’s important. He needs me in London immediately. How much time do you need to get ready?”

  “How long would the trip be?”

  “No’ long. Three or four days, I suspect.”

  “Then maybe I could just stay here?” she asked. “I know you probably need to hurry.”

  “Why? Is something wrong?”

  “No, no, I’m just a little under the weather,” she answered.

  He grasped her chin, turning her face side to side. “No doubt from being in this chilly room.” Though the glass was sun-warmed, the inside
space was cool and damp in the mornings. Yet he couldn’t seem to get the furnace to work. He’d wanted to hire a machinist, but Ethan’s lass seemed to think he could do anything. So damn if he wasn’t crawling under that sputtering boiler at every spare moment.

  “Ethan, it’s perfectly fine in here—”

  “You doona actually expect me to leave you when you’re sick?”

  “I’m notsick ,” she said. “You have been very demanding lately, keeping me up at all hours of the night. And if you stayed, I’d want you to continue your demanding.” She grinned, but she did look tired. “Agnes and her children can come stay with me for a few days. It’ll be fun. We’ll eat candy and play charades and wreck your house like barbarians sacking a city.”

  “Ourhouse,” Ethan corrected. “Best remember you own half of everything you’re breaking.”

  Though he loathed the idea of being separated from her, he knew she wasn’t hankering to meet his family. And he couldn’t allow her to meet them yet anyway. Hugh might have revealed everything to Jane. Ethan doubted it, but he couldn’t risk Maddy’s hearing the truth from anyone but him. To ruin what they were enjoying because he couldn’t leave her for three days…?

  Besides, he needed to meet with Edward Weyland face-to-face—and officially retire.

  “Aye, verra well,” Ethan agreed. “But only if Agnes and the children stay with you. I’ll either return for you or send someone to escort you down within four days.”

  As soon as Maddy saw Ethan off that morning—with lingering kisses that almost made him miss the train—she and Sorcha began a baking frenzy. Six children meant lots of scones.

  Agnes and her brood weren’t supposed to arrive before midafternoon, so when Maddy grew overheated, she went upstairs to rest.

  Though Maddy already missed Ethan terribly, she was glad she hadn’t gone this morning. First of all, the very idea of meeting Ethan’s family nauseated her. Second of all, Maddy had questions for Agnes. The widow had six children.

  If there was anyone who could help Maddy figure out if she was expecting, it’d be her.

  In any case, Maddy was excited about the children coming over. She wanted to make forts for them out of curtains and pillows, forts like they’d never seen.

  Sitting at her new escritoire, she collected her pile of recent mail. Yesterday, she’d been too busy to sort through the weekly bunch. She grinned to herself—Ethan had been insatiable.

  Flipping through the envelopes, she found invitations, a letter from Corrine, and one from Owena Dekindeeren of theBlue Riband coterie. Maddy frowned when she came across a thick missive she didn’t recognize. She opened the seal and read the return address. It was from Iveley! She quickly skimmed the lines.

  Just two weeks ago, she’d written to inquire about visiting, explaining who she was and her connection to the property. The land agent had responded promptly. He prefaced his note by admitting to being newly hired. He was experiencing some confusion and asked to be pardoned for it, but…“You, Lady Kavanagh, are the owner of Iveley Hall.”

  Yet how…? Maddy’s eyes widened. Ethan had bought Iveley for her? “That man!” she said in an exasperated tone, but she was smiling. When was he going to tell her about this?

  She could scarcely believe she owned Iveley. And apparently Ethan had at last found a hardworking steward for one of their estates—included in the envelope was a detailed report of improvement after improvement to the property.

  Trembling with excitement, she turned to the second page of the note, skimming the lines with growing incomprehension.Your mysterious inquiry so puzzled me…after considerable hours of diligent research…discovered your husband had gifted Iveley to you four months ago…after having owned the property for nearly ten years…assumed directly upon your father’s forfeit of the same.

  “This can’t be,” she whispered, her hand fluttering to her forehead.

  How could Ethan not have told her he’d owned her childhood home? And for so long? He had to have made the connection.

  Surely it couldn’t have beenEthan who’d foreclosed on them. Maddy had known Iveley had been seized—how could she ever forget being denied entry into her own home?—but Ethan couldn’t have been the one who’d forced them into the streets on the very day of her father’s burial.

  The idea was too incredible—she could hardly conceive it. She reread the letter, but the content didn’t change, no matter how badly she willed it to.

  There was no coincidence. Her husband had willfully deceived her about this. Maddy remembered those times when she’d talked about Iveley or her parents and Ethan had grown distant.Think, Maddy . Even as she resisted, a nebulous picture began to form from the facts she knew about Ethan.

  He’d traveled to Paris for Maddy—though she could have sworn he hadn’t even liked her. He’d offered for her, a girl from a slum, instead of someone worthy of his title. And then he’d steadfastly refused to marry her—until she’d threatened to leave. She recalled his unsettling anger toward her earlier and the frenzied way he bought her gifts now.

  What if there were deeds in my past?he’d asked. Hehad been trying to make up for something, but not for what she’d thought.

  He’d foreclosed on them viciously, leaving them destitute.

  But why? He had to have some grudge. Why her family?

  She recalled him asking,How did Sylviedie? Maddy’s eyes narrowed. She’d known he’d met her mother! So why would he repeatedly lie about the connection?

  Whatexactly was the connection?

  Maddy began to have a sinking feeling in her stomach. Her mother had been ravishing—and faithless. Ethan had been a libertine who’d cuckolded a new husband every night. She remembered him admitting,“If they were married, then even better.” The two of them had been near in age.

  Had Ethan had an affair with her mother? Why else would he lie so persistently?

  Maddy had always wanted the key to unlock that night when her life had fallen apart. The questions had driven her mad. Now she felt the answers were there, just within her grasp.

  Had her father unexpectedly returned home and caught his much younger wife in bed…with Ethan?

  Maddy put her hand to her mouth to stifle a shocked cry. At twenty-three and without that scar, Ethan would have been gorgeous. Her aging father, who’d been dearer to Maddy than all the world, would have been devastated to see the wife he adored in bed with a strapping young Highlander.

  Granted, Maddy couldn’t know for fact that Sylvie and Ethan had…that they’d…

  She shook her head hard. That part could be merely the imaginings of a frantic woman. But Maddy knew without doubt that Ethan had lied to her repeatedly and had sought revenge against her family. She couldn’t state with certainty exactly why he’d punished her parents, leaving her as a casualty, but no matter if they’d deserved it or not, Maddydefinitely hadn’t.

  It was one thing to be a victim of circumstance and quite another to have a man show up on your doorstep to destroy you. She hadn’t deserved to be dragged into this tragedy again.

  Considering all that he’d done and deceived her about, she had to wonder if anything was true. Recalling the hasty marriage license—which Ethan had somehow had time to acquireafter drunkenly plotting the seduction of two barmaids—and the very simple ceremony with the registrar, Maddy realized she might not even be truly married.

  Not one of the ladies in the boulangerie after all…

  Ethan had looked her in the eyes and vowed that if she could just see her way to giving him one more chance, he wouldn’t hurt her again.

  Lies.He’d broken that vow, among others.The studied deception.

  She’d been used. She was stunned, feeling so deadened that she was surprised she perceived her heart beating, could actually hear it in the silence of the room.

  Maddy remembered Ethan once telling her to leave La Marais behind, not to look back. What had his plan been at the time? And if her friends had come to live with them and depend on them? Onhim ?
Maybe that was why he’d been so insistent about them coming.

  What am I going to do?All she knew was that she wantedaway from him , to be far away by the time he returned. She rose, and through tears gazed out the window at the windswept sea.

  Maddy had called this place a fairy tale, and it had proved just as fantastical. Here, all was illusion.Peacocks and palm trees; jewels and sunsets over a blue Irish sea? If it sounds too good to be true…

  You’re a fool.

  She’d take the filth and danger of La Marais, hard and real before her, over this, over the lies of her husband, of their life. “Just one more chance,” he’d said, even whileknowing her trust would be in vain. He’d known she would discover his deceit. “What happens if you find out something from my past that you canna abide and you leave me?”