A Cowboy for the Twins

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “You may as well all go into the house and dry up,” he said to her and her father. He didn’t meet their eyes, and Shauntelle didn’t blame him. The whole time she was riding behind him, thankful for his presence, guilt blended with anger over what her father had done to him. She had wanted to apologize and explain, but now was not the time.

  So she took her girls’ icy hands and walked to the house.

  Fay was standing on the deck, leaning on one crutch as they came to the house. “Come in, come in,” she said, waving at them as if to hurry them up. “You must all be just freezing cold and hungry. I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been for you.”

  Shauntelle tossed a quick glance behind her and saw her father trudging some distance behind her, but still following them. The girls, clearly feeling quite at home, walked straight into the house.

  Fay held the door open for Shauntelle and her father, and they both walked in. “You two must be absolutely freezing. I noticed you weren’t wearing any jackets.”

  “No, we gave them to the girls,” Shauntelle said, carefully removing her muddy boots and setting them aside. “But we rode behind them, so that helped.”

  She shivered again, then followed her daughters into the house, thankful for the blessed warmth.

  Millie and Margaret were already by the fire, holding their hands out, still shivering.

  “I’ll make some hot chocolate,” Fay said.

  Then the door of the porch opened and closed, and Shauntelle sensed Noah was there. She couldn’t stay. And she didn’t think Noah would be comfortable with her father either.

  “Thanks, Fay, but I think we should get the girls home as soon as possible,” Shauntelle said, feeling ungracious. But she knew she couldn’t be in the same room with Noah and her father. “Girls, we need to go.”

  “But surely you can stay—”

  “We don’t want to go,” Millie cried out. “We’re cold and we want hot chocolate.”

  “Millie. Manners,” Shauntelle warned, hiding behind her Mom persona.

  “Why do we have to go?” Margaret called out, not moving.

  “We have to go home so Gramma won’t worry about us.”

  “Just text her,” Millie suggested, also staying right where she was.

  Shauntelle felt torn between her father’s discomfort and her own at seeing Noah again. It would be easier for all concerned if they left.

  “Millie, Margaret, it’s time to leave,” Shauntelle said. “I need to bring Grandpa back to his car.”

  “I can take him.”

  Noah’s quiet voice behind her sent her heart into a double-time rhythm. She took a few deep breaths to slow it down, and then a few more when the first did nothing.

  “It’s okay,” her father said, looking down. “I don’t want to be more of a bother than I’ve already been.”

  He looked ashamed, and he should. It had been his actions that had put her daughters in danger and, by extension, Noah and Shauntelle when they rescued them.

  “Let Noah take him,” the girls called out. “We’re cold and wet.” Millie added a dramatic shiver just in case Shauntelle didn’t get the memo the first time.

  “I don’t mind,” Noah said.

  Shauntelle turned as he entered the kitchen. “You’ve done enough,” she said, her voice quiet. She was unable to meet his gaze. “We can’t thank you enough for helping us out.”

  “You helped too.”

  At that she looked up into his eyes and caught a glimpse of pain. But as quickly as it came, it seemed to disappear, his face growing impassive.

  They had said little to each other on their rescue trip. There hadn’t been a chance. But what could she say to him now?

  I’m sorry my parents are suing you? I’m sorry that you thought I might have been a part of this?

  “Anyway, we should leave,” Shauntelle insisted.

  “I would prefer to take your father,” Noah said. His eyes never left her, but his voice held an edge and she guessed he wouldn’t budge.

  She glanced over at her father, who still stood where he was, eyes narrowed but looking down at the floor. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe it was time her father and Noah talked things out.

  “Okay. I understand,” she said, turning back to Noah. “Thanks for doing this,” she said. “And thanks again for your help.”

  His only reply was a curt nod.

  Then he turned and walked back to the porch, her father trailing along behind him.

  Please, Lord, she prayed. Please let my father be reasonable.

  It was all she could do now, she thought as she watched them leave.

  Chapter Fifteen

  As Noah started his truck, Mr. Rodriguez got in, looking as reluctant to come with him as the twins were to leave the ranch. He was sure Mr. Rodriguez’s lawyer would advise him not to come along, but after what they had dealt with, taking a ride from him was more or less a moot point.

  Noah backed out of the driveway, surprised at how nervous he felt. But it was Shauntelle he felt most concerned about. Did she agree with the lawsuit? Did she still think he was responsible for her brother’s death?

  Noah waited until they were on the pavement before he spoke.

  “I know you might not believe me,” he said, struggling to choose the right words. “But I want to say I am so sorry about Josiah. I’m sorry I didn’t come to the funeral. I was told that because of the ongoing investigation, it was best I stay away. I want to tell you I should never have listened to that lawyer. I should have been there. And I apologize for seeming like I didn’t care when, in fact, I did. Deeply.”

  The heavy silence that greeted his comment didn’t bode well for the rest of the conversation.

  Noah shivered, then turned the heat higher. He was still chilled and dealing with the aftermath of the pressure of rescuing the twins and Andy. He had been so thankful for the solid temperament of the horses they rode. When he saw how high the creek flowed, he had prayed harder than he had prayed in a long time. If anything had happened...

  He stopped that thought. Nothing had. It all turned out okay.

  “Please know not a day goes by that I don’t think of your son and what I could have done better for him,” Noah continued, hoping Andy would understand.

  He knew Shauntelle loved her parents dearly and, as she had said many times, she owed them so much. He also knew how much she missed her brother. And because of her, he wanted to clear things up with her father.

  “I think of him too,” was all Mr. Rodriguez said.

  They drove in an uncomfortable silence for a while, then finally Andy spoke up. “I want to thank you for coming to rescue me and the girls.” He fidgeted a moment, then spoke up again. “This is hard for me to say, but I was irresponsible. I shouldn’t have crossed the creek with the girls.”

  While Noah felt bad for Andy, given his obvious discomfort, he had to agree. Taking the girls across Horseman Creek, in the spring with rain in the forecast, had been irresponsible.

  “I feel... I feel like a hypocrite,” Andy continued, his voice small, quiet, as if the words were difficult to get out. “I said you were irresponsible and reckless with Josiah. But...I just did the same thing, and with my own granddaughters. I have no right to think I am better than you.”

  His admission astonished Noah. And beneath his words, Noah sensed a hesitant extension of an olive branch. If he and Shauntelle were to have any kind of future, and he hoped they could, he would have to find some way to resolve this issue in a way that would satisfy Andy.

  “I don’t know what your lawyer told you,” Noah said finally, shivering as he warmed up. “I know we’re not supposed to talk to each other, but I’d like to understand what you hope to get from this lawsuit. Is there some way I can help you without you going through all this expense and stress?”

  Silence
greeted that comment.

  “What would you like from me?” he continued. “I’ve been sending you money. Do I need to send more?”

  Andy sighed, then turned to him, but Noah only saw a hurt and broken man, not the angry one he expected. “I lost my son. Did you think money would replace him?” Andy asked.

  “I never sent the money to replace him.” Noah gripped the steering wheel even tighter. “I know I was absolved of all wrongdoing, but I kept thinking I should have done more for Josiah. I didn’t send you the money because I felt it would replace him. I wanted to help you out.”

  “So you admit that you were guilty?”

  Noah thought of what Shauntelle had said about Josiah’s risk taking. He wasn’t sure how to explain that to Andy without making it look like he was shifting the blame.

  “I spent months trying to think of what I could’ve done differently,” Noah admitted. “I’ve always prided myself on being a careful employer. But there’s only so much I can do. There comes a point where an employee has to take responsibility.”

  And that’s as close as he edged to suggesting that Josiah might have been at fault. He had no intention of talking ill about someone not present to defend himself.

  “I really miss my son,” was all Andy said.

  “I believe you do,” Noah said, the hurt in Andy’s voice creating a surprising sense of melancholy. His father had always been so harsh with Noah. So unforgiving. Would he have grieved his loss the same way Andy was grieving Josiah’s?

  It wasn’t a fair question, yet it clung.

  “I also believe Josiah was a lucky young man to have people so concerned about him,” Noah continued, remembering how Shauntelle had broken down in his arms, crying over losing her brother. “He was blessed to have people who loved him so much.” He couldn’t stop the small hitch in his voice. After all these years, he still hurt over how his father treated him?

  “We loved him very much,” Mr. Rodriguez said. “As I’m sure your father did you.”

  Noah released a harsh laugh. “I don’t know how much my father cared for me. I know he was very hard on me, and that nothing I ever did was good enough.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Andy said. “That must have been difficult.”

  “I think he loved me in his own way. It was just hard to see.”

  “Maybe I could’ve been more careful with Josiah,” Noah said, still hoping to find common ground between them. “But I did everything I could. You have to recognize that your son had to take some responsibility as well.”

  “I know.” Mr. Rodriguez spoke so softly, Noah wondered if he’d heard right.

  But the words created a spark of hope that they could come to some agreement.

  Noah made the final turn, into the staging area where Mr. Rodriguez’s car was parked. He pulled up beside it, but left his truck running. He turned to face Mr. Rodriguez, his arm over the steering wheel, his own emotions a mixture of thankfulness and uncertainty over what would happen.

  “You need to know, I do not want to come between you and your daughter. I don’t want her to choose between me and you.”

  Mr. Rodriguez nodded. “I understand that. And I respect you very much for that.” He sighed again. “But I know that Shauntelle cares for you a lot. When I see how sad she’s been the last few days, after you left, I know it’s because she missed you. I don’t like to see her unhappy. We’ve had enough sadness in our house.” He paused again, his fingers tapping out a quick rhythm on his legs. “Selena and I were kind of pushed by our lawyer to sue and, I guess, by our own grief. It was easy to make you the bad guy and to think we could punish you. But I see how you are with our granddaughters, and I know they love you too. It hasn’t been easy to change how we felt about you, but I see you are a good person. And I’m sorry I ever started this whole business. I thought this lawsuit would help us get over losing Josiah, but it only made us angrier and more stressed with each other.”

  Noah sat a moment, trying to sort out his thoughts.

  Please give me wisdom, he prayed. Please give me the right words.

  “I’m not trying to tell you what to do,” Noah said. “I’m not a lawyer, but I think it would be a difficult battle after all the investigations proved neither I nor my employees were at fault.”

  Andy nodded, as if absorbing this information.

  “You told me yourself that the money I sent you wouldn’t bring your son back,” Noah continued. “Even if—and it’s a big if—you won this lawsuit, would that money make any difference?”

  Then to his surprise, Andy Rodriguez covered his face with his hands and started crying. His sobs cut into Noah’s heart, and he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He said nothing, just sat there hoping Andy felt his support.

  Finally Andy stopped, wiped his eyes and gulped in a deep breath. “I am so ashamed. I accused you of being irresponsible, and then I go do this reckless thing with my granddaughters.” He shook his head. “When I saw you coming through the clearing, my first reaction was relief, followed by a deep shame. My rescuer was the man I thought so little of. I couldn’t face you, after all the things I had thought about you. And here you came to save my granddaughters. You truly are a selfless man.”

  “Anyone would’ve done the same,” Noah said.

  “I’m very thankful you did.” Andy drew in a long slow breath, then looked over at Noah again. “I think I need to talk to my lawyer.”

  “You make the best decision for you and your family,” Noah said. “I don’t want you to think I had any influence on your choice.”

  “You don’t need to worry. I had my doubts about the suit from day one. But that lawyer contacted us and kept calling and pushing. He said it was a way to take care of Shauntelle.” He dragged his hand over his face. “Josiah had always been the one who took most of our time and energy. He was always borrowing money from us. We never had enough to help Shauntelle out, and then she lost her husband and came to live with us and made plans for her restaurant. I thought, listening to our lawyer, that maybe we could finally help her too.”

  “I think Shauntelle is doing quite well on her own,” Noah said. “She’s a strong and determined woman.”

  “That she is.” Andy slanted him a look full of regret. “Shauntelle was furious with us when she found out about the lawsuit. She said you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. She told us that Josiah had always been reckless, and if we couldn’t see that then we were blind. She was defensive of you. But she was also very sad when you left. She said she was making plans to move out. That hurt me and Selena a lot.”

  “And that’s why I went to Vancouver. So she wouldn’t have to choose between us.”

  “You were willing to make that sacrifice?”

  “I know Shauntelle cared for me, and I care a great deal for her. More than I’ve ever cared for anyone before. But I also know she loves you and that you love her. I was sometimes jealous of your very intact family, and I didn’t want to cause problems.”

  Andy held his gaze, looking as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

  “Shauntelle has always been someone who knew her own mind. And someone who is wise and loving and kind. I was never that crazy about Roger. I had always thought she could do better. I would get so upset each time he put himself first, but she was a faithful wife and made that relationship work. Then I hear how you spend time with my granddaughters, how you went over and above to make sure Shauntelle got her doors installed in her restaurant. Without any hesitation, you came to help us. I also see how loving you are with your mother, and in all that I see a good person. In spite of what you may think of me and my wife, I realize maybe Shauntelle has finally found someone worthy of her.”

  His words fell like drops of mercy and grace into Noah’s soul. He could hardly believe, after all the antagonism he’d been dealt by the Rodriguez family, her father was
speaking like this.

  “I don’t know if I’m worthy of her,” Noah said. “But I care a lot for her.”

  “Are you still moving to Vancouver?” Andy asked.

  “I hope I have no reason to, if Shauntelle will still have me.”

  “Then maybe you better get back to the ranch and talk to my daughter before she leaves.”

  Relief and joy—and a curious peace—flowed through Noah. When he had said he would bring Andy back to his car, he had nurtured a faint hope of making peace. To show the man he cared about the loss of his son. That it mattered to him.

  He had never dreamed it would turn out this way.

  And then, as if to add another blessing to the day, the sun struggled through the breaking clouds.

  * * *

  “Come on, girls, now it’s really time to go,” Shauntelle said, glancing at her watch, struggling with a mixture of fear and trepidation.

  Noah had been gone longer than it should have taken him to drive her father to his car. Were they arguing? Was her father spewing anger and frustration?

  She had tried praying, but all she could manage was repeating please, please over and over again.

  Mrs. Cosgrove seemed to sense her anxiety and, Shauntelle was sure, suffered her own. After all, it was her son whom Shauntelle’s father was suing. It was her son who stood to lose a great deal if this case went to court.

  After Noah had left, Fay had served the girls their hot chocolate, set out a plate heaped with cookies, and then sat down in her easy chair by the fire. She made conversation with the girls, but after fifteen minutes Shauntelle could see she was getting tired.

  Millie popped another cookie in her mouth, tilting her head as if thinking about her mother’s comment. “I’m still a bit cold,” she announced.

  In any other situation, Shauntelle might have smiled at her daughter’s machinations, but she was tense and on edge and wanted to get back home to talk to her parents. To see what had happened with her father and Noah.

  And she could see that Mrs. Cosgrove felt the same.

  “My pants are still damp,” Margaret said, frowning as she rubbed her leg.