Recompense For Love: Book Three of the Against All Odds Series

by Gemini Jensen

“By marrying me…”

  I’m silent for way too long. Way too long to be acceptable, and way too long to exhibit a strong stance one way or the other. Did he really just say what I think he did? He wants me to marry him one day? God. I used to daydream about that all the time when we were younger…

  Unfortunately, I know all to well how childhood dreams aren’t what become reality as an adult. He’d let me down eventually, if I didn’t get around to doing it to him first.

  “You’re beating a dead horse, Nash. I wouldn’t make a good wife. And I wouldn’t be a good choice to bring into Ari’s life…” I try again. “If I don’t trust myself to take care of him, then you shouldn’t either.”

  He studies me for a long time, and although I can’t get a read on him, I’m sure I’ve finally gotten through to him.

  Eventually, he glances back over at Ari, a look of resignation on his face. My heart cracks in half, but this is what I wanted. What I’ve been pushing for…repeatedly.

  “Hey, Son. Come over here and tell Lyra goodbye.”

  Seconds later, Ari is right next to his dad, reminding me again of how much they look alike. Ari is nearly the spitting image of Nash at that age.

  “Goodbye, Lyra,” Ari states politely as can be, and even coming from a kid, it sounds final. “Did Dad tell you we might move back to the city after Christmas? He’s still ‘ciding ‘bout it. I told him I want to be here around Willow and the rest of my friends though.”

  Panic ripples through me in an instant, and even though I have no right considering all the things I’ve said, it doesn’t stop it from occurring. I swallow, swinging my eyes from Ari and back up to Nash.

  “Is that true?” My voice is hoarse, barely squeezing out of my constricted throat.

  Nash shrugs back, avoiding eye contact as he studies his hand.

  “So, you were coming here and saying all this, knowing you’d probably be leaving anyway?” I accuse, hurt seeping into my tone even as I try to fight it.

  “I figured it’d be easier for both of us, if this whole scheme didn’t go as planned. Apparently, it didn’t, so…yeah.” He still won’t look at me.

  “I’m sorry,” I say helplessly, although, I know it’ll never be enough. I still have a ways to go before I’ll be able to even consider any type of relationship. And one that’s intense as what Nash is offering, well, that’s a huge step to take. What he’s offering is his all, and I can’t give mine back.

  “Me too.” He leans down to whisper something in Ari’s ear as his hands suddenly find his sides, catapulting him into the air. “Give Lyra a kiss on the cheek,” he says to Ari, and I lean my head over to make it easier on him.

  But instead of kissing my cheek, Ari swings his leg over the saddle, seated right in front of me.

  Nash’s hand cracks against Midnight’s rear and she takes off running, me and Ari in tow.

  A completely different type of panic settles over me now, the fact I’m in charge of someone’s else’s well-being as well as my own. This scenario is eerily familiar. One irresponsible move and he could fall and get hurt. Or worse. I refuse to let that happen.

  I can do this.

  My arms are around Ari, gripping the reins as I hold on to him securely, gaining control of the situation at the same time. I’ve slowed us down in less than a minute, but those sixty-ish seconds seem to move in slo-mo with me second-guessing every move I make even though most of it was instinctual. Meanwhile, Ari is laughing, completely unfazed by the sudden turn of events.

  As soon as we come to a complete stop, I hop down off the saddle, helping Ari down right after me. Then, I spin around to find Nash striding this way with a cocky smirk on his face, not exhibiting any recognition of having done something stupid and reckless not a minute prior.

  “What. The. Fu—dge,” I settle on, remembering Ari’s standing right beside me. “You could have killed either one of us. What if I didn’t get ahold of him.” I step up to his chest, craning my neck back to glare up into his eyes, which are currently dancing with clear amusement. “I’m glad to see you find my fears amusing,” I snap.

  “Bye, I’m going back to sit on the porch with Chales,” Ari suddenly announces, dropping the r from my dad’s name. At least he has some sense. He can tell I’m about one second from snapping Nash’s head off, and wants no part in it.

  “I knew you’d be fine. You’re an expert horsemen, Lyra. The one time you’ve ever had something serious happen, you were drunk off your ass and begging for trouble. You didn’t care if anything happened to you that night, and you didn’t know that you should. But the minute Midnight was in motion a minute ago, the first thing you did was make sure you had a tight grip on Ari, then you rationally took control of the situation. That’s instinctual. You’re a natural with kids.”

  I’m at a loss for words as I stand gaping at him. Finally, I shake my head in disbelief.

  “This whole thing was your idea of proving to me that I’m good with kids?” I shove at his chest, but don’t put my weight into it. Not like when I wanted to kick his ass last time we were arguing face to face like this.

  “Kind of. But also to show you I trust you with mine, and that you should trust yourself too.”

  I don’t know whether to be fucking pissed at him right now, or to cry. He makes everything so confusing, but he’s trying so hard to get to me.

  “I don’t know how else to prove to you how serious I am,” he finally says, cupping the side of my face.

  “Serious about what part?” I whisper.

  “Everything. How much I love you and want to be with you. How much I want to prove to you that I’ll never take your trust for granted. Just give me one shot, that’s all I’m asking for.”

  I’ve seen his beautiful emerald eyes with a million different emotions in them, but never this one. Nash Hudson is begging me, sincerely pleading with me to give him a chance. After everything he’s done to try and persuade me, I should. But that’s not what cements my decision—it’s the stirring in my soul, the bone-deep intuition that he’s genuine, that this is real.

  Pushing up on my toes, I fuse our lips together, groaning when he yanks me to him, wrapping me up in his arms possessively. When he pulls back, his husky voice issues a warning low in my ear.

  “You’re my girl, Lyra. Have been since you were five years old.”

  I pull back to look in his eyes, needing him to ground me in this moment when I’m practically stepping off the edge of the cliff blindly—not knowing if there’ll be water, or rocks to catch me at the bottom.

  “I love you too, Nash. And I can’t promise this will work between us, but I promise that I’ll try.”

  We share a glance, one filled with unspoken agreements and mutual understanding, and he finally smiles at me.

  “All I need is for you to be brave,” he presses a kiss to my forehead, “and I’ll handle the rest.”

  Epilogue

  Nash

  Three weeks. Three absolutely amazing weeks. Lyra has been by my side every single day. We spend every waking moment together, with her staying almost every night over at my place. She tried to argue it wouldn’t be good for Ari to see us together like this, but I have faith in us. I know she’s scared, but I’m not. The sooner I integrate her into mine and Ari’s lives, the sooner she’ll finally realize she fits. Perfectly.

  Last week, Ari and I even came along to her family’s Christmas dinner, which Ari thought was the coolest thing ever, his getting to see Willow over winter break. The event was so much more laid-back and low key than I’m used to, which is probably why I enjoyed it so much.

  I tried to inform my Aunt and Uncle that Stars would be visiting with me and Ari when we came to their dinner, but they rudely refused to have an unexpected visitor. In turn, I rudely refused to step a foot inside their home until they’ve come to their senses.

  They’ll change their tune once they realize exactly how serious I am about her…

  “Ten minutes,” Valley announces as soo
n as she walks into the room, immediately making the rounds to refilling everyone’s glasses with champagne—of course, forgoing the beverage in lieu of sparkling grape juice for herself.

  The kids have long since fallen out on us, only making it to three hours ‘til midnight before they couldn’t handle any more. Now its just us adults left—not that there’s many of us here. It’s just an intimate affair between the Knightley family…Gray and Valley, Nana Rose, Charles and his nurse—who I’m pretty sure have something secretly going on between them, and now, me and Lyra. I can’t help but feel like I’m more at ease here than with my own kin, and that, this is the first time since my parent’s and Hayes’s deaths that I’ve felt a sense of familial bonding. Especially around the holidays.

  In the background the television is tuned to Time Square, ensuring no one loses track of the exact time by getting distracted. I’m easily distracted when the most beautiful girl in the world is sitting right beside me, her legs draped over my lap, nestled under my arm as she sips her drink. I want to make her mine so fucking bad, and I’m tired of waiting.

  Crazy, considering I was engaged when we reconnected. The fact we’re so serious, so fast is another thing that’s probably frowned upon in these parts. That thought would have caused me to slow down and proceed with caution before, but now, I couldn’t give a damn. She was right when she told me I cared what people think too much, and that I put other people’s feelings before my own. I still put other’s feelings before my own, but only the two people who matter the most to me.

  Glancing at the television again, I stand up, holding out my hand to Lyra.

  “Let’s take a walk,” I more or less order, ready to throw her over my shoulder caveman style if she tries to argue.

  She pops a brow, eyeing me suspiciously, but she still allows me to pull her up to me. Another sign she’s trusting me. Another sign our relationship is strengthening by the hour, solidifying its status as an unstoppable force.

  “We’ll be back when the ball drops,” I promise her, although, I’m not entirely sure it’s the truth.

  “Better be,” she grins, her tone sultry and demanding in that way that always turns me on.

  “Yes, Ma’am.”

  I lead her to the back screened-in porch, the area mostly warm because I’ve left the space heater on last time I came out, switching on the outdoor television to the same channel we were watching inside.

  “I thought we’d be back in time,” she challenges.

  I roll my shoulders. “Just in case. And I thought you might like some privacy.”

  I yank her into me, kissing her fiercely as soon as our bodies meet. Pulling away proves a daunting to task, but somehow, I manage.

  She smirks at me. “Privacy with you is always something I’ll be okay with.”

  I kiss the bridge of her nose once more, before leaning back to meet her eyes.

  “These holidays, spent with you, have been the best holidays I’ve had in years. I love you. Thank you for making me so fucking happy,” I whisper urgently, clasping her hands in mine, encasing them so that mine can block the cold from touching her skin.

  “I love you too, Nash. And I’m sorry I had reservations before, and for fighting you so hard when you were just trying to love me.”

  “Stars, you have nothing to apologize for.” I brush her hair over her shoulder, my heart thudding in my chest as I stare at her. I don’t know how I got so lucky this past year. Gaining my son, and reconnecting with her, but I’ll never take those things for granted. A shaky breath leaves my lungs as I try to settle my nerves.

  “I want you to do something for me.”

  “Anything,” she replies almost too quickly, and I chuckle.

  “I want you think about what I’m about to ask you, and to consider it long and hard, until you’re one hundred and ten percent positive about the answer. It won’t hurt my feelings if you can’t give me an answer tonight…”

  “Oh-kay.” A line forms between her brows, her confusion settling onto her face in the most adorable way.

  And just like fate, the countdown begins to come across the television, forcing my hand. Less than a minute to go.

  I drop down to my knee in front of her, reaching into my coat pocket as I retrieve the box. She gasps, tears instantly filling her eyes, and I almost lose my composure. I come so damn close to chickening out and begging her to forget this ever happened because I’m too terrified to find out the outcome.

  Instead, I push onward.

  “I know this seems sudden, and I know this is probably scaring you…This is the most cliché night, next to Valentine’s day, that I could have chosen to do this. But…as I thought back about all the ways my life changed this year, at all the ways it’s now a million times better, I can’t wait anymore. It seems like I’ve been waiting forever anyway. I’ve loved you since I was five years old, and I’ll love you until I die. It’s a given. A fact. Against all odds, and with whatever variables life throws at us, my love for you is timeless. And I know this is unexpected, and probably highly frowned upon by the people around us—all things considered, but I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. I just want you to be my wife, to love you every single day of my life, and then some. You might not be able to give me an answer tonight, and that’s okay. I’ll be the most patient person you’ve ever…”

  “Nash,” she suddenly interrupts, tears now streaming down her cheeks and leaving rivers of mascara staining her skin. She drops to her knees in front of me, so that we’re face to face. “Shut up.”

  I swallow, not knowing what to say at this point, completely terrified she’s going to turn me down flat. My heart thunders in my chest, the tip of a spike poking the muscle, preparing to tear it to shreds.

  She squeezes my hands tightly. “We both know you’re not patient. Not at all. You’re demanding, and when you know what you want, you won’t take no for an answer. And that’s okay...” Her lips press softly to my cheek. “Because my answer is yes, anyway.”

  My hands flex as I attempt to keep them from tremoring when I slide my mother’s ring onto her finger. This is too damn surreal to be real. I’m still halfway convinced she didn’t even give me the answer I was hoping for and it’s all a big hallucination. I’m probably imagining things and making a fool of myself, kind of like she did that night she thought I was imaginary Nash. Only, my mistake would be much more humiliating.

  But I’m not mistaken. She suddenly launches herself at me, giggling when she knocks me onto my back and pins me down with her weight.

  “I love you, silly, and this is something I’ve dreamed about almost my entire life. Even if I didn’t think I deserved you a few weeks ago, and I still am on the fence about that one, I can’t live without you. I might have survived it before, but surviving isn’t the same thing as living.” She spouts off my own line to me, one of my reasons, and I faintly hear the crowd cheering in the background, counting down the numbers in unison.

  Five.

  Four.

  Three.

  Two…

  “Reason number one million, two hundred thousand, sixty-two…You’re my recompense. The one good thing that replaces all the bad in my life,” I whisper to her, our lips brushing as she hovers over top of me.

  “And you’re mine…”

  And they lived happily ever after…

  Acknowledgments

  The acknowledgments section is always the most difficult task for me to tackle. There’s the fear of leaving someone out. There’s the fact I have absolutely no idea what to say—or even where to begin to convey my thanks to those have gotten me where I am today. So, if I forget someone, please don’t feel left out, and please don’t feel any less important. I’ve put release off once, and honestly, my brain is kind of pushed to the max at the moment.

  Obviously, I need to thank my family, who’ve had to endure meltdowns on a nuclear level, who’ve been forced to stop me when my fingers itch to pull my hair out from frustration. Thank you for endu
ring me in all forms—the good and the bad—and loving me anyway. Thank you for you patience when I wake up way too early, and go to bed before the sun even sets some days. Thanks for doing all these amazing things like cooking for me and helping with chores. PJ—you’re my universe, and Kayden and Jess—you’re every star held within it.

  And this wouldn’t be an acknowledgments page without thanking my readers. Thank you for taking a chance on me. Thank you for supporting my dreams. Without you, this would all be pointless. If I’m never able to write full-time and support myself with my books alone, it’ll be okay. Just hearing how my stories have affected you, and how much you enjoyed them, is of far greater value than money could ever provide.

  A special thanks to Leslie M., because you rock and you’re super amazing! You’re like my own personal cheerleader.

  Rebecca R., you know how much I love you already, but just in case you didn’t, here you have it. In print. I so can’t wait for your His series to come out! And thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so supportive in my writing endeavors.

  To my tribe—Alexis, Carmel, Danielle, Erica, Harlow, Helen, Jeanette, Kelsey, Melissa, Rose, QB, Kristen—I’m eternally grateful to have y’all in my life. Thank you for reassuring me, pushing me, giving honest opinions, and sharing advice. I’d probably be insane or completely discouraged without you guys to lean on. Love y’all!

  To my Romance Suite ladies, thanks for your encouragement and support, which is always more appreciated than I could ever convey.

  To all the book bloggers and romance readers, the indie world wouldn’t run without you. You’re a necessity. You’re a bunch of saints who work magic, all from your love for stories. Thank you for your time, your energy, and your support.

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