Fool for Love (Believe #2)

by Karen Ferry

  “What?” he clips.

  “Get yourself checked into rehab. I don’t care where, but I’ll pay for it. Just get…the fuck…clean. You hear me?”

  “You’re not my fucking parents, Garrett. I’m a grown man, I do what I want.”

  The way he sounds like a petulant child right now grates on my nerves.

  “No man commits suicide, Rowan, and that’s what’ll happen to you if you don’t get help.”

  “You forget that you were where I am now not that long ago, wolf!” he shouts.

  I close my eyes briefly, letting the shame of my past wash over me.

  “Yes. But you forget one thing, Rowan.”

  “Oh, really?” He snorts. “And what’s that?”

  “I realised what I was doing to myself – to my family – and I couldn’t live with myself knowing that if I hadn’t gotten clean, my parents would have to bury another child. I couldn’t do that to them.”

  Silence greets me.

  And then the sobs set in.

  “I don’t know how to get out,” Rowan’s broken cries tear through me, hitting me right in my gut.

  “Let me help you, man. If you want me to, I’ll take care of everything. I just need you to say the word, Rowan. Say ‘yes’.”

  More silence, and I hold my breath, trying to be patient. This is the first time he’s ever considered my offer, and I pray that this is the moment where he breaks completely. The moment when he realises that he’s sick. That he can’t just quit his addiction without getting the right help.

  “I…I’ll think about it,” he whispers.

  The hope plummets to the floor, broken into tiny pieces.

  Again.

  “Don’t take too long, pup,” I grumble, letting him hear the depth of my disappointment. “You could be dead tomorrow.”

  “Fuck you,” he spits out.

  I roll my shoulders, trying to get the tension to ease up.

  “Fine, have it your way, Rowan. And I’ve changed my mind. You need to find a new bartender no matter what, because I’m not letting Suzy step foot inside the club until I know for a fact that you’re clean.”

  Not waiting for an answer, I end the call. The pain in my heart intensifies and I rest my arms on the kitchen counter, letting my head fall as the sorrow and failure surge through me.

  “Honey?”

  I glance in Suzy’s direction, not even having the strength inside to lift my head.

  “What is it?” she asks me, stopping on the other side of the bar.

  She’s only wearing her robe, makeup and hair already done for the night, and I clench my teeth.

  “I was trying to get Rowan to admit that his drug addiction is killing him, but he didn’t listen. For a brief moment, I thought I had him – that he would finally seek help – but I was wrong.” Sighing, I push back, my temper rising like a volcano inside me once more.

  “I’m sorry, Garrett.”

  I rub a hand on my forehead, the urge to break something, anything, drawing closer to the surface.

  “He’ll fucking die!” My fist lands hard on the counter, but I don’t register the pain.

  I wince when Suzy jumps from the sound of my voice. “I’m sorry, waif. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “I’m alright.” She comes closer and when she puts her arms around me, hugging me tightly, the anger and pain in my heart ease up a little.

  “I don’t know anything about addictions, honey,” Suzy whispers as she tightens her grip around me. “But I do know that you’ll have to want the help someone’s offering you. That you’ll have to hit rock bottom. Otherwise, it won’t happen.”

  Sadness fills me even though I know she’s right.

  “My dad is the reason I got into rehab,” I whisper.

  She steps back but doesn’t let go. The compassion in her eyes gives me the strength I need to tell her my story. Or this part of it, at least.

  There are some things that I’ll never tell her, though.

  “I wasn’t an addict for that many years, actually. I dabbled a bit when I was young, but nothing serious. But as I grew older, more desperate to forget my memories, I began to use them more. So I went out almost every night, leaving Mama Rosa’s mostly in the care of Carlos. I partied with Rowan, and Donna, at the club, then bought it when the previous owner couldn’t keep it up and running…” I rest my hand against her neck, needing to feel her pulse – her life – against my skin.

  “Keep going,” she whispers.

  I take a deep breath, a bit surprised when I feel the tremor.

  “I don’t know who Rowan’s supplier was, or is, but the soft drugs quickly excelled until I was deep in the claws of cocaine. The high is one unlike any I’d ever experienced before – it’s all-consuming, but only works for a brief amount of time. Before I knew it, I needed more…”

  I clam up, unwilling to go into too many details.

  “How did your dad know about the drugs?”

  Her question gives me the opening I need to fast forward a couple of years.

  “He’d seen me when I was high. The way I acted around him and mom was far from normal anymore; I lost weight, didn’t care about how I looked anymore. I was wired, constantly on edge. Paranoid.”

  I frown, my eyes falling on her lips as my thumb runs across them.

  “He knew something was wrong and showed up here one evening. I was close to hitting rock bottom at the time, but the main reason I came to my senses, ending up asking him for help, was the devastated expression in his eyes, and the words he spoke.”

  I stop as I remember that night, unsure if I can continue.

  “What did he say?” she whispers.

  “In many ways, this was just as bad as the night of the crash,” I say instead of answering her question. “It was horrible, waif.” I release another shaky breath, relenting to the promise I made not so long ago.

  To not hold back from her anymore – to give her all of me.

  “I’ll never forget the sorrow I could hear in his voice. He said, ‘Are you going to force your mama and me to go through with another funeral, Garrett? To bury one more son? To break our hearts?’”

  She leans up on her toes and rests her cheek on mine, wrapping her arms around my neck.

  “I broke down,” I whisper, remembering the sobbing mess I became. “I fell into a heap on the floor, snot running from my nose, howling like a baby. It felt like hours, but it probably wasn’t. I don’t know how long I let my dad hold me, but what I remember is that he never let go of me. He just let me cry and rave, never letting me go.”

  I straighten to gaze into her eyes that are now brimming with tears.

  I clear my throat to get rid of the lump that seems lodged there.

  “The next day, he made the arrangements, packed my suitcases, and drove me to the airport. He told me he’d taken a couple of days off work and went with me. He made sure I was settled in, and then he left so I could break free of my addiction on my own.”

  Suzy cradles my head in her hands.

  “Thank you for trusting me, honey,” she whispers. “For sharing such an agonising memory.”

  “I don’t want to keep any secrets from you, waif, but there are some things that I might not ever be able to tell you.”

  “I understand.” She falls back on her feet, tugging her robe closer so it doesn’t slip. “I wish I could stay home tonight, but I have to get ready for my shift.”

  I tighten my hold around her waist as the words I just told Rowan run on repeat in my head.

  “I don’t want you to work at The Vault anymore, Suzy.”

  She narrows her eyes at me.

  “We’re not going to have a fight about this again, are we? Because you know how I feel about you ordering me around.”

  Sighing, I bend slightly to meet her annoyed gaze better.

  “This is not about me being an old grump, or banging my fists on my chest like a gorilla, telling you what you can or can’t do, waif” I explain slowly. />
  Her lips lift infinitesimally, letting me know that her temper hasn’t run away with her yet.

  “I’m worried about your safety while Rowan isn’t clean. He can’t think straight when he’s high.”

  She closes her eyes briefly.

  “I understand your concern, I really do.” As she opens her eyes, I smile in relief from seeing them free of anything else but compassion. “But I’m sure I’m perfectly safe, Garrett. The bouncers assigned to the staff know what –”

  “Listen, Suzy, I know that they’re there to protect you, and that they’re good at what they do.” I release her and step away. “But, technically, you don’t have to work there anymore. Not now that you’re with me.”

  Grunting, she rubs her forehead.

  “We’ve talked about this before,” she huffs. “I don’t want to depend on you, Garrett. I make my own way, I always have, and –”

  “Then come work for me at Mama Rosa’s,” I interrupt, crossing my arms.

  “– and I can’t just – wait, what?”

  Mouth gaping, her eyes widen in shock, and I smirk at her.

  “You heard me.”

  “But…no, I can’t do that. That’d be too weird.”

  “Why? You won’t get to be around me that much as I spend most of my time in the kitchen. I’ll pay the same amount as Rowan does.”

  An idea forms in my mind, growing as I try to convince her to give in.

  “I’m not asking you to work as a bartender or a waitress, Suzy.”

  Her eyes are as big as saucers.

  “Oh? Then what are you asking?”

  “We need a hostess at the restaurant,” I explain. “We’ve never had one, but now that I’ve taken steps to modernise the place, I think we need one.”

  I grin when a tiny, squeak-like sound falls from her lips as she begins to pace in front of me, her movements jerky.

  “I don’t know anything about that kind of job,” she mutters. “You’re crazy for asking me to be one. I could make a real mess of things.”

  Her babbling makes me laugh.

  “That’s absurd, my love. You’re an outgoing, friendly person who likes to chat with people; you’re graceful, polite, but, overall, you just have this air about you. You make people comfortable when they’re near you. That’s just what I need.”

  Stopping in front of me, she tilts her head at me.

  “Since when?”

  I grab her hand and pull her to me, ignoring her reluctance.

  “Since now,” I admit.

  “I don’t know…”

  I squeeze her gently, puzzled by the insecurity I see in her eyes, as I soften my voice.

  “Why don’t you at least think about it?”

  She nibbles on her lip for a while as she stares intently into my eyes. I try to appear as open as I can, but a small seed of doubt tries to unveil itself to her. I do my best to hide it from her, and I must be succeeding because she nods briskly.

  “Alright, I promise. But…” She jabs a finger into my chest, causing my grin to widen. “That doesn’t mean that you’ll get your way.”

  “I always get what I want,” I reply smugly.

  She snorts and wiggles out of my embrace.

  “Well, that might be, but I’m not abandoning Valerie tonight; that’s not fair.”

  I groan at her stubbornness.

  “Why do you like to defy me so much?”

  She laughs and begins to back away from me, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

  “Because that’s who I am: a rebel who never does what she’s told.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her as I uncross my arms, prowling towards her.

  “Not when I’m fucking you. Maybe I could make you say ‘yes’ if I did just that.”

  Her gasp resounds in the quiet apartment.

  “Are you serious? Use sex as a bribe? That’s mad!”

  She laughs as I continue to back her closer and closer to our bed, reassuring me that she’s not too shocked by my behaviour.

  She likes it.

  “I’m willing to try this one time, yes.”

  My dick wakes fully when she wets her lips, her eyes trailing down my body. I’m only wearing sweatpants, and the look of desire as she sees my hard-on tenting the soft material makes me even more impatient to take her hard and fast.

  She squeals as I lunge, grabbing her around the waist, and I lift her so her upper body hangs down my back.

  “Garrett! You can’t do this! I’ll be late for work,” she laughs, but it’s soon replaced with a throaty moan as I lift up the robe covering her ass and spank her.

  “Just watch me,” I growl.

  I nip her thigh and take care not to drop her as she wriggles in my arms. When I reach the bed, I put her down, pushing the robe away in the process. The sight of her naked form never ceases to take my breath away, and I lift her quickly again, placing her on the bed.

  I grab her hands, interlacing our fingers, pushing her gently down, and rest them above her head as I cover her with my body. Her legs part at once and lock around my back, giving me more room, and I thrust my dick against her core, letting her feel how worked up she’s already got me. I bend my head, keeping her eyes locked with mine.

  “Now,” I rub my nose against hers. “Are you going to make me work for your submission this time? Or give in like a good girl?”

  She wets her lips, catching mine as she does, and my dick twitches from the feel of her warm tongue.

  “Definitely making your work for it,” she whispers, her voice a bit hoarse, and I groan, overcome with need for her.

  “Well, then. Let’s begin.”

  She does make me work for it, but when I’m done, making her cry out my name in ecstasy, I get my way.

  Just like I always do.

  IT’S A LAZY SUNDAY morning, and we’ve taken up our usual seats on the couch – me on one end, my back to the armrest, my legs up and resting on Garrett’s lap, reading a book while he reads the newspaper. Rufus is lying on the floor, very unhappy about having to give in to Garrett’s demands, and I run my hand that’s not holding my book through his silky fur every now and then. I treasure these silent moments where I don’t have to wear anything other than my comfy pyjamas or yoga pants and a top.

  It feels so…normal.

  Very couple-y.

  I look up from my book now and again and take in the beautiful specimen of a man before me; Garrett’s still not grown his beard back, but I love the way he tends to keep a couple of days’ worth of stubble on his face. He’s only wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, giving me a perfect view of his lean muscles, and his hair is flowing free down his back.

  Perfect. And all mine.

  “Well, fuck me.”

  I blink, getting back to the real world, and look up at Garrett. His jaw is clenched, and he rubs his eyes.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Frowning, he leans forward in his seat, and I feel warmth spreading throughout my body when he keeps caressing my bare feet even though he seems distracted by whatever that’s caught his eye.

  He begins to read aloud.

  “A scandal in the New York City Police Department was brought to the light of day late last night. Detective Dennis Easton, formerly regarded as one of the best of New York’s finest, has been charged with sexual assault by a woman who was attacked outside of one of the city’s most notorious and exclusive night clubs, ‘The Vault’, just a couple of weeks ago.”

  “What?” I whisper. I sit up straighter in my seat and lean forward, eager to hear more.

  Garrett’s eye ticks once when he looks at me, and the thunderous look in them makes me catch my breath. Then he turns back to the paper and continues reading.

  “‘At this point in time, Captain Hendrickson says, we are investigating this serious allegation, and until we have any evidence, Detective Easton has been suspended.’”

  Garrett tosses the newspaper on the coffee table and grabs his mobile, deep frown in place.


  “Who’re you calling?” I ask him, placing my feet on the floor, my book forgotten.

  “McCloud. I want to hear if he can tell us anything more that the police might be keeping from the reporters.”

  I nod and sit up, taking the newspaper so I can read the rest, but the information is pretty mundane; just stuff about his career so far and his background. Only half-listening to Garrett next to me, I focus on the photo of Easton. His beady eyes stare back at me, and the arrogant grin on his face makes me shiver. The memory of him almost attacking me has faded, thankfully, but I’ll never forget how frightened I felt; or how utterly helpless and useless I was.

  “Right, fine. Well, please keep us informed if you can,” Garrett barks into his phone.

  I turn to face him.

  “That didn’t sound too forthcoming,” I murmur. I rub his shoulder, trying to get the tension to leave his body.

  He grimaces.

  “He wasn’t. All he said was that now that the woman he assaulted woke up at the hospital and is more than willing to testify against him, that they won’t ask you to make a formal statement unless absolutely necessary.”

  Frowning, I turn to sit behind him, and I begin to massage his neck.

  “It almost sounds too easy, Garrett. I think I need to go down to the station.”

  He looks back at me, his eyes narrowed.

  “Why?”

  “Because from what I just read, that poor woman’s injuries are very severe.” I look down at my hands, my stomach churning. “And if she still has the balls, so to speak, to testify against him, then I need to grow a pair and not let the memory of him have more power over me.” I grimace and raise my eyes to face him. The softness in his makes me take courage. “That would make me a coward, and I’m done with that part of my life.”

  “I’d never take you for a coward if you wanted to keep this to yourself, waif,” he murmurs softly, shifting to rest his hands on my hips.

  Wanting to be closer to him, I straddle him instead, running my hands up and down his strong arms.

  “I know, but…I need to do this for myself.”

  His smile is gentle, and the pride that shines in his eyes, directed at me, of all people, makes my heart beat faster. I like that look on him.

  Hell, I like all his looks.