“Smitty and Ruby. I’m sure Nick traveled back and forth. Women are better at this kind of thing. I want to say something to her, but I don’t know what I should say. ‘Hey, maybe someday they can fix your face.’ I don’t think so. I guess the best thing to do is pretend you don’t see it and that isn’t exactly right or fair either.”
“You boys talking about me?” Nealy asked, slamming the screen door behind her.
“Yeah. We were saying we don’t know how to act. We don’t know what to say. We wanted to come here many times, Nealy, but you said no. We talked it over and decided to respect your wishes. Why did you relent? What can we do for you?”
“Just be my brothers. No one wanted to be around me when I first came home. All I wanted to do was hide and stay in the dark. Life goes on, I know that. I’m doing the best I can under the circumstances. I’m glad you came.”
“We’re glad, too. Is there anything we can do?”
“No, not really. We can take a stroll down Memory Lane. Now with all this time on my hands, I’m going to really get going on trying to find the rest of Mama’s family. I let all that slide because . . . life got in the way. How are those violets doing that we planted on Mama’s grave?”
“Nealy, you wouldn’t believe how they multiplied. It’s like a blue carpet. We keep them trimmed back and when it’s dry we take turns watering. That was a good idea you had. The big picture you had blown up is hanging over the mantel. It would be nice if you could come up to the farm to see it.”
“Maybe in the spring. Fanny and Maggie are coming in this morning. It was so weird the way that happened. I had just called you asking you to come for a visit and then the phone rang and it was Fanny Thornton. Reed is her married name now. Anyway, she said Maggie had called her and said they should come to visit me. She wanted to know if it was all right. I said yes. They’re going to be here for a few hours. They mean well.”
“Family, Nealy. Family will never turn against you,” Pyne said.
“Yes, Pyne, they will. Ours did. I understand the circumstances now.”
“You made it right. That’s all that matters now,” Rhy said. “Oh, I hear a car.”
“Guess our family is here,” Nealy said, getting up from the rocker. She tucked her shirt into her jeans, jammed her hands in her pockets and waited.
They didn’t gasp or shrink from her either. They held out their arms, and it was Nealy who burst into tears. Tactfully, Rhy and Pyne got up and went into the house.
“Shhh, it’s all right, Nealy. Sit down, honey, here between Maggie and me. No, no, don’t turn away. Please, don’t do that. Is there anything we can do, anything at all?”
Nealy shook her head. “I’m sorry. I do this all the time. I don’t want to hide, but I don’t have much courage. The truth is, I hide out because people have a hard time dealing with what I look like these days.”
“People or you, Nealy? Fanny and I don’t have a problem. It didn’t look like your brothers had a problem. We all wanted to come sooner, but we respected your wishes,” Maggie said. “We’re family, Nealy.”
Nealy dabbed at her eyes. “I just wish there was something you could do.” She waved her hands in the air. “It is what it is. I’ll try to do better. I want us all to get to know one another better. I want Gabby to get to know her cousins. I just need more time.”
“We have all the time in the world. The airplane and the telephone are such marvelous inventions. You pick up the phone and you can talk to someone almost instantly. You can laugh or cry, moan or groan to the person on the other end of the phone,” Maggie said. “This is where my husband, wise man that he is, would say, when you get handed lemons, make lemonade. Yes, I know, easier said than done.”
“We’re all just hours away by plane, Nealy,” Fanny said.
Nealy relaxed and leaned back into the softness of the rocker. “Tell me about your families. Tell me things I don’t know.”
“Go ahead, Maggie, you go first,” Fanny said.
“I’ll try to give you the short version because we would be here forever with the long version. My grandfather, your father, Seth Coleman, was a ring-tailed son of a bitch! He hated my mother because she delivered two girls before she delivered a boy. That boy, Riley, was killed in the war. Then my father died of leukemia. The old man blamed my mother for both deaths. God alone knows where my sister Susan is. She’s a concert pianist and a bit of a free spirit. We don’t hear from her for years, then suddenly she pops up. She had a disastrous marriage and a child who died quite young. I don’t think she ever got over that.
“I was a deeply troubled teenager and managed to have a baby at the age of fourteen. Mom raised Sawyer. Seth hated her, too. He hated all women. He thought only men were good enough in the business world. He was absolutely ruthless. Then I married and had Cole, got divorced and married Rand Nelson. He died. I moved to Hawaii and married Henry Tanaka.
“My father, Moss, was a womanizer, but he always came back to Mam. When he died of leukemia, Mam grieved, but she hadn’t loved him for a long time. Years later, she married Thad Kingsley, my father’s best friend. It was such a happy marriage. Thad, even after all these years, still grieves for Mam. He dodders a bit now, but we all look out for him.
“You remember how Josh Coleman drove you out of the house. Well Seth did the same thing to my aunt Amelia. Like I said, he hated women. We’ve had our highs and our lows, but we managed to stay a family. Fanny’s family helped us out many times, and we help her side when we can. Just the way you helped us. That’s the short version.” Maggie smiled across at Nealy and reached for her hand. “Someday, when you really have nothing to do, I’ll fill you in on the nitty-gritty stuff that went on in our family. In telling you this, Nealy, it’s to let you know we pull together and weather whatever is thrown at us.”
“I guess it’s my turn,” Fanny Thornton spoke up. “Sallie Coleman was Seth’s sister and your aunt. She was a saloon singer and a woman of the evening. A prospector left her, as she put it, his poke, and she ended up being the richest woman in the West. She literally built Las Vegas. She educated herself, married her teacher, and gave birth to two sons. I married both of them. Ash, my first husband, was just like Maggie’s father. In fact, Ash knew Moss Coleman, and that’s how Maggie and I found each other. I divorced Ash because he couldn’t keep his pants on, and then I married his brother, who was a psycho if there ever was one. On his deathbed, Ash killed his brother to protect me from him. If you wrote the story of our lives in a book, no one would believe it.
“Ash and I had four children. Birch and Sage, the twins, Billie, named after Maggie’s mother, and Sunny. Sunny has multiple sclerosis. She has two children but because of her health, Sage, my son, is raising them, making sure they know Sunny is their mother. It’s a sad but doable situation. Sage and Birch run the casinos and Billie has her own family business.
“I married Marcus Reed, and we live very quietly enjoying our golden years.
“Ruby was my father-in-law’s daughter. Born on the wrong side of the blanket so to speak. Ash denounced her when she first made her appearance, but I wouldn’t allow that. I love Ruby. Ruby is real and as good as they come. Ash came to find that out, and he finally came around and acknowledged her as his sister. Ruby was so happy that day. She’s done so much for all of us. You know the story of Metaxas replanting my mountain. Sage lives there with his wife, Iris, their children, and Sunny’s children. The mountain is a wonderful place to raise children. There, now, that’s my short version. But as Maggie said, sometime when you really have nothing to do, I’ll tell you all the Thornton nitty-gritty stuff of our lives.”
Nealy smiled. “Life isn’t easy, is it?”
“Sometimes it is damn hard. Mam always said you have to pull up your socks and keep going, no matter what,” Maggie said.
“You never give up, Nealy. Someone, somewhere, will be able to help you. I just know it.”
Nealy nodded. “Neither one of you had an easy life, right? I can
see it in your faces. And yet you weathered it all. How did you do it? I fell apart. I’m still unraveling like a loose strand of yarn.”
“Think about the alternative. The here and now is always the best way. When there are people who love you and depend on you, how can you give or do less than your best?”
“Point taken.” Nealy smiled. “Would you like a tour of the farm?”
“We would,” Maggie said. “Later, I’d like to go for a ride if that’s possible.”
“We can do that, too. Let me call my brothers and we can check things out.”
The call, when it came, was the night before Halloween. Nealy laughed, her voice edged with hysteria. “Do you see the irony, Smitty? Halloween! I need you to help me pack. Cole Tanner is on his way here to pick me up. He’s personally going to hand-deliver me to the famous Dr. Vinh.”
Smitty stared at Nealy, a mixture of emotions on her face. “You’re going to Thailand? I don’t believe what I’m hearing. Thailand is on the other side of the world. For how long?” she asked breathlessly.
“For as long as it takes. I have to give it a shot, Smitty. I have to try. Please don’t try to talk me out of it.”
“I won’t, Nealy. I understand. You have to do what you have to do. For some reason I didn’t think . . . I thought you would opt to have your operations done here. What about all the paperwork?”
“Cole took care of everything. I’m good to go. We leave tomorrow night. He said he’ll grab a few hours’ sleep and we’ll leave. If . . . if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be back. Well, either way, I’ll be back.”
Smitty pulled clothes off hangers willy-nilly. “I think it’s warm over there. Maybe it isn’t warm. Do they have a winter? Oh, who cares,” she mumbled as she shook out garments and folded them haphazardly, only to shake them a second time and refold them. “Are you going to tell Hatch?”
“No. Nick will tell him even if I swear him to secrecy. If I talk to him, I might waver. I can’t take the chance of that happening. You must have noticed he doesn’t call anymore.”
Smitty screwed her face into a grimace. “I noticed. I also notice you stop whatever you’re doing every time the phone rings. Admit it, you want him to call.”
“That’s not true, Smitty. That’s over and done with. He gave up pretty damn easy if you want my opinion,” Nealy snapped. “So much for undying love.”
Smitty sat down on the edge of the bed. “That comment is so unworthy of you, Nealy. He did what you asked of him. I hope he finds someone wonderful who will love him the way you used to. He deserves the best. He’s a kind, caring, generous man. You made the biggest mistake of your life sending him away. In your heart you know it. Sometimes I think you do have a black heart. Finish your packing yourself. Packing is not in my job description.”
Smitty slammed the bedroom door and marched downstairs.
Maud’s rocker beckoned. Nealy’s gaze went to the window to see the soft evening shadows that were starting to form. Smitty said she was like a vampire these days, waiting for darkness before venturing out and down to the barns. She’d literally turned her days into nights and her nights into days. The moment full darkness descended, her day began. She worked in the barns, did what she’d always done, but under cover of darkness. Minutes before the sun started to creep over the horizon, she was back in the house and in her room, where she slept the better part of the day. Shortly before dusk, she would go downstairs, eat something, and sit on the front porch, weather permitting.
She watched the last of the late afternoon fade into darkness. Another thirty minutes and it would be time to go down to the barn.
She looked across the room at the phone. She had to call her brothers and Nick. She decided to wait. Maybe she would call them from the barn. Maybe she would ride over to see Ruby and Metaxas and tell them personally. Flyby might like a ride.
She rocked in the rocker, her feet tapping the floor. There was no comfort tonight, no solace. She thought about the hoard of pills she’d stashed in the toe of one of her boots. She had enough to take her into oblivion if the time ever came when she couldn’t handle life any longer. The coward’s way out. She wondered if she would ever have the guts to take her own life.
Black heart. Smitty had said she had a black heart. Hunt had said the same thing.
It was almost dark now. Almost time to go outside. She watched the minute hand on her watch. Time to see the horses. Time to talk to them, time to touch them. The horses were the only things that made her feel halfway human and gave her a sense of normalcy these days.
Nealy hesitated on the second step from the bottom of the staircase. She watched Smitty as she gathered up her keys, her cigarettes, and her purse. She wanted to say something but couldn’t find the right words. She hated it when Smitty found fault with her. If there was one person in the world she truly loved besides her kids and Ruby, it was Smitty.
“I know you’re there, Vampire Nealy. I heard you come down the stairs. It must be time for you to suck the life out of the night, eh? Well, go to it, honey. I’ll say good-bye now. In case you forgot, I won’t be here tomorrow. I’m having my bunion operated on, and I have to stay off my foot for a week. You have a good trip. I’ll see you sometime.”
“I’m sorry, Smitty. I know I say that a lot these days. You’re right, I did forget about your bunion. I’m sorry about that, too. My head is so full of myself, there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. Maybe someday . . .” Her voice trailed off. She held out her arms, expecting Smitty to come to her. She didn’t. Nealy’s arms dropped to her sides.
“Not this time, kiddo. And by the way, I flushed all those pills you stockpiled in the toe of your boot right down the john.”
Nealy blinked. “Damn you, Smitty!” There was no answering laugh, no good-bye. She heard the sound of the car engine, saw the headlights arc on the kitchen window, heard the car drive off.
Nealy turned around and ran up the steps and down the hall to her room. She rummaged in the back of her closet until she found her old boots. She upended them and shook them sideways. Nothing fell on the carpet. She sat back on her haunches. Instead of feeling anger she felt only a sense of relief that Smitty had been friend enough, wise enough to take matters into her own hands.
Nealy crouched in the corner of the closet and hugged her knees. Why was everyone so smart and she so stupid? Why?
“Because you do stupid things, Nealy. You’re too stubborn for your own good. You react to the moment. You don’t think things through. It’s always been your way or the highway.”
“Ah, now you show up. Where were you when I needed you? Just answer me that, Hunt. On second thought, don’t bother. Get out of my dream. I’m pretty damn sick and tired of everyone telling me what to do, what’s best for me. I don’t need or want your input. I mean it, Hunt.”
“You are one miserable excuse for a human being, Nealy Clay. I’m sorry you still carry my name. For the last six months you have shunned everyone who only wanted to love and help you. You don’t even let your own grandchild come near you. You know what that makes you in my eyes, Nealy? A loser. A coward.”
“Shut up, Hunt. You aren’t walking in my shoes. You don’t know the first thing about me or how I feel.”
“You’re right about one thing, Nealy. I don’t walk in any shoes. I’d give anything to be ALIVE and walking around in a pair of shoes. I wouldn’t care if I was as ugly as a mud fence. Life is for the living. When it’s gone, it’s gone. You think about that. For a while I thought there was hope for you. So you won two Triple Crowns. Big whoop. What’s that gonna get you, Nealy? The things that really matter, the things that held hope for you, you’ve managed to destroy. I’ll never forgive you for what you did to Hatch. I’m not going to forgive you for ignoring that beautiful little granddaughter of yours either. By God, you do have a black heart. And now you drove Smitty away. Who’s next, Emmie? Ooops, you already did that once. You don’t do repeat performances. That must mean Ruby and Metaxas are next. Wel
l, go to it, Nealy. Then when that fancy doctor fixes you all up, you’ll come back and expect to pick up the pieces only there won’t be anyone here and there won’t be any pieces for you to pick up.”
“Go away. I’m too tired to fight with you. You shouldn’t have come back. Leave me alone. Another thing, Hunt. Where were you when I needed you? When I first got to the hospital. I needed help. You weren’t there for me.”
“I was there, Nealy, but you were in the black hole. We were all there: Maud, Jess, and surely you heard Charlie barking. We were waiting. You should be thanking me that we didn’t reach out for you. Thanks, Nealy. Not recriminations, not harsh words, not bitterness. What you did to Hatch was unforgivable. That’s your M.O. Nealy first and the hell with the other guy. Now get off your ass and make it right.”
When Nealy woke, the moon was riding high in the sky. The room was dark with only silvery moonlight winking through the slats of the plantation shutters. She strained to see the digital numbers on the small onyx clock on her nightstand: 10:35.
She was stiff and sore from sleeping in such a cramped position. Hobbling, bent over, until she could straighten up, Nealy made her way to the bathroom. She avoided looking in the mirror the way she always did. She brushed her teeth and wondered why she was doing it. Probably so she wouldn’t have to think about the horrible dream she’d just had.
In the kitchen, Nealy reached for her jacket. Outside in the brisk autumn air, she took great, deep breaths. As she headed for the barn she remembered that she wanted to ride over to see Ruby and Metaxas, but it was too late now. She’d peeked in on Emmie and Gabby, and they, too, were sound asleep. Her announcement would have to wait until morning.
It was an hour before dawn when Nealy looked around the barn for the last time. Tears welled in her eyes. When would she be back? She hugged Flyby, whispered in his ear before she ran as if the hounds of Hell were on her heels. She flew into the house and up the stairs to her room, fell into the rocking chair, and sobbed. Hours later, when there were no more tears left, Nealy picked up the phone. She dialed Hatch’s number from memory.
Kentucky Heat Page 32