Needing You

by Becca Siller

  “Scott and Darius both have to go back to work. You, me, and Sky will have to take shifts watching her,” I explain.

  “We’ll figure something out. But I know she doesn’t want to be babysat. I barely got her to let Skylar stay. Well actually he just parked his ass and dared her to make him leave,” Gina says with a slight shrug and a small chuckle.

  Wyatt

  Gillian Montgomery is one of my co-stars on the set. I’d seen her around but was always too busy to notice her. She seems nice enough and is a very attractive girl. I need to stop dwelling and move on, so I asked her out on a date. When Miles found out, he was livid. We argued in the parking lot for an hour until I told him as bluntly as I could that I was moving on. I can’t keep pining over something I won’t ever have again. That’s when he dropped a bomb on me. “She hasn’t been out of bed for over a week, Wyatt. She’s miserable, how can you just move on like that?” he asked me, annoyed. I told him she was the one who decided to end our relationship. Therefore I am free to date or fuck whomever I want. He hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday, and now I’m standing outside Gillian’s hotel about to take her out on a date. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hate myself right now. But I don’t know what else to do. I need to feel better. I need to make the pain stop.

  When she answers the door with her enormous toothy smile, I try to fake excitement. Thank God I’m an actor. “Are you ready?” I ask her.

  “You bet, I’m so happy you asked me out,” she exclaims, closing her door behind her. “Did you make reservations?”

  “No, I thought we might go somewhere unknown.” I’m taking her to this pub I saw driving back from the set one day. I asked around and heard it was a great authentic place. I was excited to try it.

  The ride over is silent on my part. Gillian talks the whole time but at least she can hold the conversation all on her own, which is exactly what I need right now. When we walk inside I grin at the dusky surroundings. It’s kind of damp and the lighting is low. There is a juke box playing in the back and the occupants all look like old regulars. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Charlie would’ve loved this place. I kick myself for thinking about her. I’m on a date, for God’s sake.

  “Wyatt, is this a joke?” Gillian asks, looking around with her nose wrinkling in disgust.

  “No. Come on, it’s not that bad, let’s just give it a chance, ok?” I give her what I hope is my old Wyatt Grayson, I get what I want smile. She sighs her disgruntled agreement as we sit.

  Gillian complains through most of the meal but I’m so charmed by the atmosphere it doesn’t bother me. The furniture is made from logs and different types of what looks like recycled wood. The table tops are mostly old signs with logs for legs. The bar top is one giant log with the top cut flat and polished to shine brightly. There’s an interesting looking man sitting at the bar and if I’d been here alone or with Charlie, I know we would’ve struck up a conversation with him. Shaking my head, I try to dislodge the image of Charlie.

  “Can we go now?” Gillian asks with a sneer.

  “Sure.” When we get back into the car she is fuming mad. “I’m sorry you hated it. I thought it was a cool place.”

  “Look, Wyatt, I know you’re still mourning over your old girlfriend or whatever, but I don’t think sabotaging our date is fair to me. If you didn’t really want to go out, you shouldn’t have asked.” Gillian defensively crosses her arms over her chest.

  I bite my tongue at the condescending way she mentioned Charlie, but try my best to apologize. “I’m sorry, Gillian. I do want to get to know you better. I made a shitty choice for our first date. Let me make it up to you,” I say then, struggling to pull the old Wyatt back to the surface, I lean over to kiss her.

  She gasps into my mouth and I use the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her mouth is minty, her lips thin and cold, not at all what my body or mind is craving. I try to push images of kissing Charlie out of my mind but when I do, it leaves me feeling flat. I quickly determine the only way I can make this convincing is to imagine I’m kissing Charlie even though everything about Gillian is different. Gillian has curly reddish brown hair and dark brown eyes. She’s taller than Charlie by a lot and has big silicone breasts. Despite the differences I try to keep it together and kiss this girl like I mean it.

  Charlie

  I have been home from the hospital for two days. Everyone takes turns babysitting me and it’s driving me crazy. Scott and Darius are exhausted. They’ve been working long hours then taking turns on the night shift with me. Scott usually just crawls into bed with me but Darius reads most of the night. The nights Scott sleeps with me I have fewer nightmares but I know he and Darius would like some time off from me. I must be such a downer, always crying or moping. Gina forces me to eat but despite that I know I’ve still lost quite a bit of weight. I wish there was some magic to make me feel better but if there is, Dr. Iverson hasn’t told me about it. Not that I’m accommodating when he visits. I rarely speak to him. I guess I’m angry and blame him for losing Wyatt even though it was my decision.

  All of a sudden my door flies open and Scott storms in. “Get up, Charlie. I’ve had enough of this.”

  I scramble up on the bed, momentarily afraid. Scott scoops me up, tosses me over his shoulder, and strides into the bathroom. He strips all of his clothes off except his boxers, then strips me. “Scott, what the hell are you doing?” I ask, affronted and angered by his forcefulness.

  “I’m doing what needs to be done. It’s been over a week since Wyatt left. I’m tired of seeing you catatonic. You’re deteriorating before my eyes. Live, for God’s sake. Lord knows he is.” He pulls me into the shower with him.

  “What is that supposed to mean, Scott?” I ask, confusion choking me. Has Wyatt already moved on? How can he be fine when I can’t even get out of bed?

  “Look, girl. I know how much you love him, but you can’t live like this. I’m going to help you shower, then we are going out into the land of the living, and we’re eating dinner like normal families do. I know you’re hurting but you have to move on.” He tenderly massages shampoo into my scalp.

  “He’s moved on? You know this?” I ask, hesitantly. I don’t think I really want the answer but I need to know.

  “I heard Riley and Miles talking. It seems to be that way. I’m sorry, my sweet.” He turns me to rinse the suds from my hair.

  “I probably can’t have children,” I blurt out as a tear falls down my cheek but is quickly washed away.

  “I’m sorry, Charlie,” is all he says. Scott washes my entire body minus my female parts. I think he’s afraid of them. I smile when he grimaces and then shrugs, handing me the soapy cloth.

  When we get out of the shower I stand in the middle of my room with just my bra and panties on. When I look at myself in the full-length mirror I notice that the majority of my bruises are faded, the smaller cuts are gone and the burns are just small pink circles. The stitches on my face and chest contrast darkly with the pallor of my skin. I run my hands over my protruding hip bones and frown. How did I let myself get like this? I look haggard and thin. Scott comes up behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders and directing me into a chair. He sits in front of me, then turns to pull out hemostats and small scissors. I figure with his semi-medical background he can handle this, so I let him proceed.

  “I’m sorry, Scott. I’ve been such a burden to you all. I can’t believe I let myself sink this low.” I look away with mortification.

  “I know, baby girl. We can fix this ok.”

  “Would you be sad if Darius left?”

  “Hell, yes, I’d be as bad as you.”

  “Do you love him?”

  Scott starts pulling the stitches out of my chest. “I do. It’s really hard not to love that man.” His smile is glorious.

  “That makes two of us,” Darius’s deep voice comes from my doorway.

  Scott stills, his hand shaking slightly. Scott has always had a difficult time accepting love. When we met h
e was with Jesse. He fell hard for him and was pissed to find out that Jesse just used him to make me jealous. Darius walks into the room and squats next to Scott. “Don’t mess around and say things you don’t mean, Darius,” he warns.

  Darius takes the scissors and hemostats from him, setting them down for a moment, then takes Scott’s hands in his. His almost onyx eyes glitter in the lamp light. “I love you, Scott.” Then he kisses him sweetly, driving his point home. The kiss quickly becomes heated, Scott twining his fingers through Darius’s hair and Darius gripping Scott’s neck forcefully.

  “Um guys…I would say I got this but I really need Scott to finish, then you can go screw until morning,” I say with a slight smile.

  “Sorry, here let me get these old nasty stitches out.” It takes Scott about ten minutes to get all the stitches out and the wounds cleaned. Then he rummages through my closet for something I can wear while Darius brushes the tangles out of my hair. The love these two men have shown me makes me smile a real smile.

  Darius drops the brush on the table and watches me, grinning like a dork. “I missed that face,” he says with an adoring gaze.

  A little while later we’re dressed and ready to go. I’m nervous but am assured it’s going to be a good time. Darius and Scott sit in the front seat holding hands, giggling at each other. “Was I like you two?” I ask with mock annoyance. “’Cause you two make me want to puke,” I wink at Darius in the rearview mirror.

  “Here we are!” Scott exclaims with a clap of his hands. We pull up to a local pub that happens to have the best barbecue around. My mouth starts to water just thinking about it.

  When we enter the bar area Gina and Riley are sitting in the back with two high-top tables with the word “Reserved” on them. Behind me I feel a quick pinch on my ass. I turn with a sharp yelp. Skylar is behind me, holding hands with a gorgeous girl. On closer inspection I see that girl is Detective Richards.

  “Hey, hot stuff. It’s great to see you out of bed and back in the land of the living. You remember Olivia Richards and her partner Ian McShane,” Skylar introduces, waving to the bartender over Olivia’s head.

  “Of course I do,” I say, trying to smile the best I can. Olivia leans in and hugs me tightly.

  “I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” Olivia states with questioning eyes.

  “I don’t mind. It feels good to have friends.”

  Ian is watching me over the top of her head. He leans around to gently hug me, his hand lingering slightly on the small of my back. “It’s really good to see you again, Charlotte.”

  “Please call me Charlie. Shall we sit?” I ask, motioning to where Gina and Riley are.

  Riley looks close to tears when I walk up. She and I haven’t really talked since the blowout. At first I was nervous, because I said some really hurtful things. I wonder if she’s still angry about it, not to mention the fact that I’ve been such a terrible friend. I even missed her first prenatal appointment. How could I have done that to her?

  When we all sit Scott orders a round of beers for everyone but Riley, who scowls her dissatisfaction. As everyone raises their bottles for a toast, I decide it’s time to make my apology. “I’d like to say something first if you don’t mind. I want to sincerely apologize to all of you for the way I’ve acted recently. I’ve been extremely selfish, I’ve said unkind things to some of you and haven’t appreciated the time and love you’ve all dedicated to me. I promise I’ll remain on the road to recovery. I can’t and won’t let men dictate how I live my life anymore.” Raising my beer bottle I tilt it, slamming the whole beer without stopping.

  Skylar hoots with pride, “That’s my sister!” And Riley laughs with glee. She smiles at me over her water glass. The rest of the night is spent with lots of laughter and great company.

  Riley

  Seeing Charlie out last night was the best night out since Vegas. She looked almost happy. I’d catch her occasionally peering off with a melancholy gaze but she would quickly wipe it away. This morning is our lazy Sunday and I plan to do just that – be lazy with my best friend. For the first morning in a while, I don’t feel like retching my guts out.

  Charlie is sitting at the bar eating eggs and bacon. “Are you actually eating?” I exclaim.

  Charlie beams at me, “You aren’t sick this morning?” I shake my head. “So what have I missed in my self-induced coma? How was the baby’s first appointment?”

  “Oh, I have something to show you!” I spin and run for my laptop. Racing back I perch on the swivel chair next to Charlie, struggling to open the laptop. As it boots up, Skylar’s door opens and Olivia makes the walk of shame. I snicker as she looks away.

  “You don’t have to hide, sweetie, we’ve all been in some sort of compromising position in front of one another around here,” Scott tells her, trying to ease her discomfort.

  “Yeah, baby, you don’t have to feel uncomfortable here,” Skylar adds, coming up behind her, dropping a kiss on her head.

  “Are you hungry?” Charlie asks. Skylar stops on his walk to the fridge and spins to face Charlie, his eyes going huge and his face splitting into a broad grin.

  “Charlie, you’re up and eating!” he says excitedly, then rushes over to kiss her right on the mouth.

  “Well, she was eating until you kissed her, you sicko,” I state dryly. Then he comes after me to kiss me. I squeal and push him. Olivia giggles and Scott laughs, pulling Skylar off me.

  “Stop, douche, she’s gonna show Charlie the pictures and let her hear it,” Scott says, plopping a plate next to Charlie and gesturing Olivia to sit.

  “Scott, do you ever wear a shirt?” Skylar asks, eyeing Scott’s beautifully bare chest.

  “Right!” I exclaim.

  “You wouldn’t either if you looked that hot,” Darius strolls into the kitchen also shirtless and kisses Scott while grabbing his ass. They’re seriously hot together.

  “Come on, you two, I have company. I’d like for the circus not to scare her off right away,” Skylar scowls.

  Darius straightens to look at Olivia, who is giggling softly. “Olivia, I’m sorry. I didn’t know we had company.”

  “Don’t worry about it. You all remind me of my family,” she responds, smiling sweetly.

  Finally my damn computer starts up and I get to show Charlie the picture. I think she’s the only person I haven’t had to point the baby out to. She stares at the picture longingly and I see Scott and Darius watching her out of the corner of my eye. She reaches out to touch the little blob that is the baby. She strokes the screen reverently. I hit play on the MP3 file, the sweet whooshing sound of the baby’s heartbeat sounding out across the kitchen. Charlie sucks in a deep breath and then looks at me with watery eyes. I start to tear up. “It’s amazing, Riley. Really amazing, I’m so happy I could burst with it. You and Miles are so lucky and so are we to share this precious gift with the two of you,” Charlie says, leaning over to hug me.

  “Thanks, hun.” I see Charlie trying to hide the tears in her eyes. “Oh shit, don’t cry. I can’t control that shit anymore,” I say, trying not to cry myself.

  “Well, in that case, give me a minute to get myself together. I’ll be right back. Can you send that picture to my phone?” As she dashes into her room, I look back to Skylar. I need a subject change before I turn into a weeping mess. He never disappoints.

  “Hey, did anyone else notice how McShane was watching Charlie last night?” Skylar pops his head up from the fridge.

  “Shut the damn door, man,” Scott admonishes. “I already made breakfast. This isn’t a soup kitchen.”

  I laugh and hear a soft chuckle from Olivia. “I did notice him looking at her. Do you have the scoop?” I ask Olivia, who blushes.

  “He definitely has a crush on her. I think he’s afraid to approach her though. Since we were there when she was rescued, I think she’s nervous around us.” Olivia stares at her plate. I see something there but can’t decipher what it is.

  “Well, maybe we sho
uld set them up on a date?” I say with a mischievous grin. Scott and Skylar both turn to glare at me. “Just think about it,” I turn to make sure she isn’t standing right behind me, “Wyatt is already seeing someone. Miles told me the other day. She needs a good man around that doesn’t look at her like a sister.”

  “Why would she need that?” Skylar asks, drinking from the milk carton. Scott yanks it from his lips.

  “Jesus, Sky, I have a hard time believing you’re related to my two beauties. You’d think you were born in a barn,” Scott scoffs.

  “I think what Riley means is that Charlie needs to feel desired again,” Olivia adds. I smile at her.

  “I tell her she’s beautiful all the time,” Scott points out sternly like he’s offended or something.

  “You gave her a shower and didn’t even get a semi for God’s sake. If that doesn’t damage a girl’s ego, then I don’t know what does,” I exclaim with a roll of my eyes.

  Skylar laughs and Scott frowns. “You know she has the wrong equipment to get my engine running right,” Scott states blandly.

  “I think if I encourage Ian he may actually ask her out, but he is a little rusty. Everyone thinks they want to date a cop but the reality isn’t so glamorous,” Olivia says, looking chagrined. Skylar leans over the bar to kiss her swiftly, making her smile.

  “Well it’s decided then, we’ll set them up.” I clap my hands, closing the matter.

  “What’s decided? Who’s getting set up?” Charlie says from behind me.

  “You,” is all I say and watch her eyes widen with shock.

  Charlie

  Tonight is my date with Ian and I’m so incredibly nervous. I tried everything to get out of it but when this house gets their minds set on something, they can become very stubborn. I’m uneasy at the thought of being around another man. I want Wyatt back. I feel as though I’m doing something wrong by going out on a date with Ian. I’m still standing staring into my closet the way I’ve been doing for the last twenty minutes. I’ve changed at least ten times, I don’t want to wear anything too sexy but I don’t want to look frumpy either. No one will tell me where we are going either, argh.