The Nanny's Knickers

by Wren Mingua

  Chris didn't stop laughing. He had even abandoned his video game controller, which was a small miracle.

  "Well, if you ever feel like cheating on him, you should try Papa Ben's. We have some of the best sausage in the world."

  Zoe planted her fist in his arm. "Ben!"

  "Ow!" He gripped his arm where she punched him. "Why did I get punched?! I'm only talking about pizza!"

  "Suuure you are!" She grabbed the last pizza box and peered inside. "Do you guys want any more of this?"

  "Uh... yes!" Ben snatched the pizza box from her hands and claimed one of the remaining slices. "I'm still eating!"

  "Ben!" Chris held up his game controller, which looked like a wheel. Zoe now knew the correct term for it was a "wiimote," since Chris had taken it upon himself to school her on the subject of video games. "I wanted you to play Mario Kart with me!"

  "Too bad. Still eating." Ben held up his pizza slice. "Why don't you ask Zoe to play with you?"

  Zoe shot Ben the most heated look she could muster. She hadn't played a video game in years, and she most certainly hadn't played one where the controller was shaped like a wheel! "Ben!" she snarled his name.

  "Zoe?" Chris held out one of his wheel controllers. "Do you want to play?"

  "Ummm..." She made a mental note to kill Ben. "Uh, sure. But you'll have to teach me how to play."

  "It's easy," Ben said. "It's just like driving, really."

  "Somehow I doubt that," Zoe sighed, and the next thing she knew, they were on the character selection screen. Chris picked a turtle in a bullet car, and Zoe chose a giant gorilla.

  "Donkey Kong!" Chris started cackling with laughter again. "I don't know if you want to do that!"

  "Why not? He looks tough!"

  Zoe didn't know if it was the character she picked, but her driving was ridiculously unwieldy. They were playing against online players, whose brutality was unlike anything she had ever seen. She finished in last place three times in a row, which Chris seemed to think was hilarious, because he was rolling around with laughter.

  If this was what it took to get on his good side, it was definitely worth the humiliation!

  "Do you want to keep Donkey Kong... or do you want to change characters?" Chris asked.

  "Oh, I'm keeping my Donkey Kong!" Zoe exclaimed, though she barely had any idea what she was talking about. "And you're going down!"

  Chris did, indeed, go down. She used her character's bulky body to knock Chris off of "Rainbow Road." At least he was a good sport about it; he had tears of laughter in his eyes.

  When she managed to finish the race in fifth place, Zoe got up and did a victory dance.

  "Woo hoo!' she cheered for herself. She wiggled her butt in front of Ben's face, which had his eyes transfixed. "I beat some people!"

  "But not me!" Chris pointed out. "I finished in second place!"

  "Well... you're awesome, Chris. What can I say?" When she sat back down on the couch, she almost sat on Ben's lap. She flashed him an embarrassed look and quickly scooted away. "Ben, you want to play?"

  "Sure." Ben, who had finished his pizza, took the wiimote from Zoe's hands. "Now you can watch a master at work."

  And Ben wasn't exaggerating. Zoe watched him win race after race, and he didn't seem to care about how badly he was creaming his nephew. But Chris was no slouch. He performed admirably, never falling below fourth place.

  When they all had their fill of game time, Chris turned off the telly (a word that Zoe was getting used to hearing) and tossed the wiimotes on the floor. Then Chris did something incredibly unexpected.

  He gave Zoe a hug.

  He even kept his arms around her while he said, "Goodnight, Zoe."

  "Goodnight." Zoe had tears in her eyes as she patted him on the back. "I had fun."

  Chris puckered his nose at her. "Did you?!"

  "I did! But I learned my lesson. Next time... no Donkey Kong!" When Chris snickered at her, she ruffled his hair.

  "G'night, Uncle Ben," Chris said.

  "Goodnight, Christopholus."

  "Christopholus?!" Zoe repeated. "That's an interesting nickname!"

  Chris waved to them as he bounced out of the game room, more lively than she had ever seen him. If she had known the way to his heart was through his video games, she would have started playing a long time ago.

  "Maybe you need an interesting nickname," Ben suggested.

  "Maybe YOU need an interesting nickname!" Zoe threw back at him. She reached over and knocked on his head. "How about Numbskull?"

  "Heeey! That's not very nice!" Ben tried to disarm her with one of his pitiful pouts.

  "Who said I was nice?"

  "Oh, you're nice alright! Nice arse, nice breasts, nice--"

  "At least you didn't call them tits," Zoe interrupted. "Everyone says tits here in the UK. I swear, everything's so vulgar here. It's always tits this, cunt that."

  Ben threw back his head, laughing harder than she had ever heard him laugh. When he regained control of himself, he said, "I prefer fanny myself."

  "Fanny? Isn't that slang for butt?"

  "Uhh... no. That's what you Americans seem to think, but... no."

  "What does fanny mean then?"

  "I'm sure you can figure it out," Ben said. "There are only a few naughty bits on a woman's body, so..."

  "Geez. How many slang words do you have for that?" Zoe asked with a roll of her eyes.

  "Minge."

  "Is that another one?!"

  "Uh-huh. And twat."

  "Good god! It never ends!" Zoe shook her head with disbelief. It was an awkward discussion, so she didn't dare to make eye contact. There was something profoundly discomfiting about discussing female genitalia with an extraordinarily good-looking guy. "I really need to brush up on my British slang."

  "Did you ever figure out what a chav was?"

  Zoe shrugged. "Nope!"

  Without a word of warning, Ben grabbed Zoe's waist and pulled her onto his lap. He expected her to struggle, but when she didn't, he kept his arms around her.

  Resting his forehead against her cheek, Ben whispered, "I want you."

  "Ben..."

  "Give me a chance," he begged her. "Give me a chance to prove you wrong. I know we'd be good together."

  Zoe laid her head on his shoulder, a pleasant surprise for Ben. In the face of so much persistence, how long could she hold out? She was starting to feel her reservations slipping away. "Did you..." The words were caught in her constricting throat.

  "Did I... what?"

  "Did you still want that date?" Zoe finished.

  "Do you even need to ask?" When he started spinning his finger around a lock of her hair, Zoe closed her eyes. She never thought she would actually be considering a date with Ben. As much as she hated the term, she supposed she could officially be called a cougar. "Where would you want me to take you?"

  "I don't know. Anywhere." Zoe shrugged. "Someplace with food would be good."

  "Well... that narrows it down a bit." Ben started sifting a hand through her hair, which looked like chocolate silk. He expected her to flee at any second, to leap from his lap and end the dream. But she stayed. "Zoe, I--"

  Before he could finish his sentence, the door opened, and Lewis came inside. When he caught her sitting on his brother's lap, Zoe could have sworn she saw steam coming out of his ears. "What is this?!" Lewis shrieked.

  Zoe jumped off of Ben's lap so fast, it was as if her rear end was on fire.

  "Ben... you're absolutely ridiculous! Can you not keep your cock in your trousers for one minute?! The only girl in the house, and you have to have her!"

  Zoe couldn't believe she got caught lap-sitting her boss' brother. She felt like she was getting chastised, like a high schooler caught in a hallway embrace. "I'm sorry, Lewis. I--"

  "No, you don't have to apologize, Zoe," Lewis went on. "I know it's my brother. I know he's the pursuer in this situation. He's been hitting on you, hasn't he? He won't leave you alone?"

  Zo
e studied Ben's reaction in the corner of her eye. She wanted to say something, to defend him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

  "You're right, Lewis," Ben admitted. "I haven't been able to leave Zoe alone... because I'm absolutely besotted with her. "

  Lewis held open the door as he glowered at Ben. "Get out!" he hissed.

  Ben got up, stormed over to Lewis, and stared him directly in the eye. Zoe couldn't remember the last time she saw two obscenely tall men facing off. They looked like they were about to come to blows with one another--what was she supposed to do?

  "What's wrong, Lewis?" Ben asked with a snort. "Are you getting a little bit jealous?"

  "Get out," Lewis repeated, standing his ground. "Get out of this house!"

  "You're throwing me out?!"

  "Yes! Yes, I am! Pack your things and leave!"

  "Lewis! Wait!" Zoe cried out. She wanted to get his attention, to get him to see reason, but the brothers were too engrossed in each other to spare her a glance.

  "You're really tossing out your own brother?" Ben whimpered. "Where am I supposed to go?!"

  "I don't know. It's not my problem. You have friends in London, don't you? Maybe one of them won't mind having a sponge." Lewis motioned toward the door. "Go on."

  "Lewis, you can't do this!" Zoe tried again, but it was clear her opinion wasn't going to sway him.

  When Ben looked back at Zoe, his eyes were apologetic. Was this it? Ben was going to get kicked out, she would never see him again, and they would never get to go on their date? It was a sad end to a tale that hadn't yet begun.

  "I'll call you..." Ben whispered to her, "text you..."

  Lewis seized his brother by the shoulder and guided him through the door. When Ben was in the hallway, Lewis closed the door, which meant he had Zoe all to himself.

  "I hate him. I truly do. I'm embarrassed to call him my brother." Lewis raked a hand through his already-wild hair. "Did he hurt you?"

  "What? No!" Zoe laughed at the question. "Are you serious? I like Ben! He would never hurt me, and I don't think you should throw him out..."

  "Well, as this isn't your house, I hardly think you have any say in the matter." He turned his back to her. "And you should get to bed. I can't take Chris to school tomorrow. You'll have to wake up early to do it."

  When Lewis left the game room, she thought she heard him whispering to Ben in the hallway, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Now, more than ever, she was tempted to quit this job. Did she really need it? Wasn't it making her miserable?

  And she might have quit, if not for the fact that she thought she had a breakthrough with Chris. Whether he knew it or not, the boy needed her. And there was no way she could leave him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Excerpt from Zoe's blog--

  If you don't think I'm old, then consider this: when I was in high school, there was no such thing as texting!

  Ben was true to his word. He left two days ago, and he had been texting her ever since. However, Zoe hadn't heard from him in several hours, and though it pained her to admit it, she was missing him. So she reached for her phone.

  To Ben: The house feels empty without you

  Until now, their texts had been short, friendly, and to the point. But this text was too passionate and personal, so she deleted it. Instead, she wrote--

  To Ben: I haven't heard from you in awhile. What are you up to?

  Zoe lay in bed, clutching her phone in her hand, eagerly awaiting his reply. It usually didn't take him too long to get back to her, and this time was no different. Less than sixty seconds later, she had her reply.

  To Zoe: got a new flat in London. r u busy?

  To Ben: You already got a new place? omg, that was fast! Where is it located?

  She didn't know one London borough from the next, but she liked to pretend she did.

  To Zoe: camden. a mate is helping me move in. r u busy?

  A mate? Zoe's first thought was that she hoped it was a male companion, not a female companion. Now that Ben was away, she couldn't keep her eye on him anymore. For all she knew, he could have hooked up with a new girl by now.

  "You're being stupid, Zoe..." she whispered to herself. "It's not like you're his girlfriend. He can do whatever he wants."

  To Ben: Sorry I missed your question. No, I'm not busy. I have the weekend off. I'm just hanging out here at the house. Lewis is driving me crazy!

  To Zoe: u have the WHOLE weekend?

  To Ben: Yep

  Zoe laughed at the brevity of her text, but she didn't really have anything else to say. She had no reason for texting Ben, she just didn't want to lose contact with him. No matter how many times he told her he liked her, she felt insignificant. A guy like Ben, who had everything going for him, probably had women lining up at his door. If she didn't make herself accessible, she knew it wouldn't take him long to move on.

  To Zoe: alright. dont go anywhere. im coming to get you.

  When she read his message, Zoe's phone almost slipped out of her hands. She punched a reply as quickly as she could.

  To Ben: Excuse me, WHAT???

  His reply was instantaneous. He must have had a better phone than her, because it took her forever to type a few short words.

  To Zoe: pack for the weekend. im coming to get u and im bringing u to london. pack light cuz im bringing the vespa.

  Zoe started eyeing her purse, wondering if she could squeeze in enough stuff to last an entire weekend. She was a bit annoyed that Ben didn't ask her if she wanted to come to London, so she texted him back.

  To Ben: You're taking me to London, just like that? Don't I have any say in the matter? Where am I going to stay?

  To Zoe: youll stay with me. coming to get you now. im driving so won't be able to text. ill be there in a little over an hour.

  Zoe didn't want to protest too much, because spending time with Ben in London was a welcome respite. She traveled around her bedroom, choosing only the most essential items, which she threw into her purse. She needed underwear--the sexy kind, in case anything unlikely happened. Deodorant was a must. Since she rarely wore makeup, she didn't need anything but a bit of concealer. A hairbrush, toothbrush. Zoe even managed to squeeze her pajamas into her purse, right next to her passport and wallet.

  When she had packed everything she needed to pack, Zoe said goodbye to Chris. She prayed she could avoid Lewis, who was the last person she wanted to see, assuming Kyle wasn't on the list. Then she sat on the bench in front of the house and waited for Ben to arrive. How long did he say it would take? An hour? Zoe mentally rebuked herself for being too eager to see him again.

  She checked her watch every few minutes. 12:35. 12:37. 12:41. How silly was she, counting down the minutes until Ben's arrival? While she waited, she pulled out a ponytail holder and swept her hair into a super-sloppy bun. She had learned her lesson the hard way: long hair and Vespas didn't mix.

  When she finally heard the whirr of the Vespa, she felt her heart leap in her chest. Zoe! her mind was screaming at her. You're acting like a teenager! It's just Ben! Don't get so excited!

  He stopped the bike halfway up the driveway, tore off his helmet, and held out his arms. "Zoe!" he shouted to her. "I've missed you. Haven't you missed me? Come... fly into my arms!"

  Zoe got up, but she didn't do any flying. Laying a hand on her hip, she swaggered toward him, trying to look as underwhelmed as she possibly could. He didn't need to know she was counting the minutes, or that her heart skipped a beat when she saw his face. He didn't need to know she did miss him, much more than she ever missed Kyle. He was a golden blonde Apollo, even more handsome than she remembered.

  "Hi," she greeted him, cool and casual.

  "What, no hug? No lover's embrace?"

  "I'll hug you, but I don't know if I'd call it a lover's embrace." Zoe's gaze was drawn back to the house, where she thought she saw a curtain flutter. "On second thought, Lewis might be spying on us. We should probably save the hugging for later."

&n
bsp; "But I will get a hug?"

  "Sure." She mounted the Vespa and wrapped her arms around his waist. He turned around and dropped the helmet onto her head. "Don't you need a helmet?"

  "I'd rather protect you and your lovely little skull," Ben said. "Isn't that chivalrous of me? By the way, you're in for a long ride. It's quite a ways to London."

  "Over an hour," she noted. As she had been checking her watch every few minutes, she knew it took him exactly one hour and fourteen minutes to get to her.

  "I'm taking you on a date, by the way." He turned the Vespa around and started speeding off to London. And speeding was the optimal word, because he had to be going much faster than any reasonable speed limit would allow.

  "Oh, are you?"

  "Yes. You accepted a date, remember? And I'm holding you to it! You can't talk your way out of this one!"

  "Why would I talk my way out of it? I wanted to go out with you."

  "Do you?! That's a dramatic improvement, wouldn't you say? Last week, you would have nothing to do with me!"

  As they rode, Zoe laid her cheek against his back. She liked having her arms around him, but there was no way she was going to tell him that. She closed her eyes and inhaled, breathing in the smell of musky cologne and aftershave.

  With her chin on his shoulder, she asked, "Do you know how lucky I am... getting to wrap my arms around you like this?

  "I know!" Ben responded sarcastically. "I keep trying to tell you how lucky you are, but you won't believe me!"

  "Maybe you're the lucky one!" Zoe suggested. "You get to have me cuddling you the entire time!"

  "You don't need to remind me." Ben turned around, but not too much, because he needed to keep his eyes on the road. "I already know how lucky I am."

  Zoe could tell when they were getting closer to London because the traffic was more and more dense. Not one to be kept waiting, Ben made his own lane between the rows of cars.

  As he weaved down the middle of the road, Zoe shrieked at him. "Ben! What are you doing?!"

  "Don't panic, Zoe! It's lane splitting... everyone in London does this!"

  She could have kept protesting, if not for the fact that weaving between the cars made the trip a whole lot quicker. He took her on a ride through Piccadilly Circus, past a dizzying swirl of lights and billboards. When they nearly collided with a pedestrian, Zoe's breath was caught in her chest.