by Natavia
When I pulled up to my crib, Tassana’s car was in the driveway. I hoped she didn’t say shit to me.
When I walked through the door, the smell of Pine-Sol hit me.
I went into the kitchen and there were containers on top of the stove, indicating that she cooked dinner. I went into the fridge and it was loaded. This is the second time this month she stocked up on groceries.
“What the fuck!” I said aloud.
“Where have you been?” Tassana asked me. I shut the fridge then looked at her. She had her arms crossed and her lip turned up. Tokyo does the same shit.
“None of your fucking business,” I said to her, pouring me a shot of Henny. I downed it then poured me another one.
“Fuck this shit. I need the whole bottle,” I said walking into the living room. Tassana followed me.
“Damn nigga, I don’t get a hug a kiss or nothing?” she asked me.
“Since when have I been coming home to that? Just take your ass on somewhere. Damn. You and your fucking sister are driving me crazy. Did you know she was leaving?” I asked Tassana.
“Since when do Tokyo and I talk like that?” she asked me.
“Right, I forgot how much you can’t stand her,” I said.
“What?” she asked me sitting down next to me. I scooted over.
“Don’t worry about it. Let me have my peace, damn,” I said turning on the TV.
“You are really acting like a bitch. Who the fuck do you think you are talking to nigga? I cleaned up this dusty ass crib, I went to the grocery store, changed the sheets, did the laundry, and then cooked your yellow ass some dinner; how about some fucking appreciation? I’m trying to change and all you are doing is bitching and complaining. Fuck that TV!” Tassana spat turning it off. She put her hands on her hips and for some reason my eyes followed. I hadn’t looked at her like that in a while. It must be the liquor and the fact she almost sounded like Tokyo.
“I appreciate it, Tassana. About time you became a domesticated female. You earned it shorty,” I said clapping. She grilled me.
“So, are you mad because Tokyo left? Where did she go?” Tassana asked me.
“To New York. Don’t you have family there? Can’t you call one of them?” I asked her.
“I haven’t kept in touch with them. I don’t have their numbers. I can ask my mother tomorrow,” she said.
“Good looking out,” I said.
“I have to get up early tomorrow, I have an interview. So, do you want me to fix your plate before I go to bed?” she asked yawning.
“Naw, I’m good, I can fix it myself. Go ahead and get your rest. Good luck on your interview,” I said, not bothering to ask where it was at. Tassana had been saying that every day and still no job.
Tassana kissed my cheek then hugged me.
“Good night,” she said walking up the stairs.
“What the fuck is she up to?” I asked myself aloud.
The next day…
“Yo, she’s been acting nice. I mean, cooked dinner, cleaned the whole crib up, and all of that,” I told Jessup as we sat in the shop and talked.
“Maybe she’s growing up. Maybe she finally sees that you are not taking any of her shit,” he said.
“Tokyo just up and left my ass. Damn,” I said shaking my head getting angry again.
“If Tassana is acting right, maybe you should focus on that. I mean, you have been fucking with her for years,” Jessup said.
“I’m not in love with her,” I spat.
“Fall back in love with her like she is trying to do with you,” Jessup said.
“Nigga, that’s the worst advice you have ever given me. Fall back in love with her then be in love with two women? Nigga, you are crazy. That shit would make me go gray,” I said chuckling. The bell chimed, and Tassana switched in. Her long, black pencil skirt hugged her hips. Her teal button up shirt made her breast look fuller. Her long weave came almost down to her ass in waves. Her shades covered her eyes.
Tassana must want some fucking money. That’s why her simple ass was being nice to a nigga. That was the only time she came to my shop.
“I’m broke, Tassana,” I said sitting up in my chair.
“That’s your business. Anyways, I brought all of you some lunch. One of you has to get it from out of the car. I didn’t want to fall carrying food and drinks,” she said sitting down on the leather couch. She kicked her heels off then crossed her thick legs. Her skirt rose up revealing the meaty part of her thigh. She caught me looking and I turned my head.
“I will go to get the food,” Jessup said chuckling, getting up.
“What’s the matter, Kauzie? I saw you looking twice at me. What are your thoughts?” she asked me.
“You don’t want to know. Did you spit in my shit? You ain’t never brought us no damn lunch,” I said checking my phone for any missed calls or text.
“Well, that was the past. I will be glad when you leave it there,” Tassana said.
“Man whatever,” I said.
Pat came into the shop behind Jessup. They washed their hands then dug in. Tassana got our food from Chipotle.
“We appreciate this. We’ve gotten so busy we almost forgot about lunch,” Pat said.
“Yeah, good looking out, Tassana,” Jessup said.
After lunch, Pat and Jessup went into the garage as I put our appointments into the computer. I hated that I was the only one who could do it without messing it up.
“Well, let me get going. I will see you later. What do you want for dinner?” Tassana asked me putting her heels back on.
“Nothing, I might crash at my parents’ house,” I said never looking up from the computer.
“Ok, cool,” she said walking to the door.
“Call me when you get there. That’s a long drive, especially being tired. Would you like for me to take you? I can pick you up in the morning,” she said. I was speechless. I just stared at her. She stared back at me waiting for my answer.
“No thank you,” I said.
“Okay, so don’t cook anything tonight?” she asked me.
“Naw, you can for you. I’m good,” I said.
“Have a nice day,” she said walking out of the shop.
I dialed Tokyo’s number again and got the same thing. I threw my phone into the wall shattering it.
“FUCK!” I shouted, banging my fist on my desk. Tokyo was tearing a nigga apart. I was angry. I wanted to feel her, hold her, and even smoke a blunt with her. I wanted to hear her laugh. I wanted to make love to her and even taste her again. I wanted her period, and she just up and did this shit to me. She didn’t tell me shit. I could deal with her being away if I could just hear her voice letting me know when she was coming back.
Tokyo
When I pulled up in front of Kauzie’s home, I cried. This was only day two and it was too much for me. I heard the sadness in his voice from not being able to talk to me. I tried calling Tassana, but her phone was off. I hope she made it there safely. I was worried about her. I tried not to panic. I remembered her telling me she couldn’t use her phone like that because of the machines in the hospital.
My phone rang and it was Kyree. She was the only one who had my new number.
“So, how is the new life?” she asked me.
“It’s soooo bad. He is starting to miss me already. His attitude is like never before. He looks at me like he wants to slap me,” I said into the phone.
“Everyone knows Kauzie has a short temper. That nigga threatened me. I have a feeling he was serious too. So, how did the interview go?” Kyree asked me.
“It actually went good. Now, let’s just pray my background doesn’t stop me from getting a job,” I said checking my email from my phone. If Kauzie knew my email address, I’m sure he would be cursing me out.
“Don’t worry about that, I got you,” Kyree said. I thanked her then hung up. My instructor from the diploma program emailed me back letting me know I could take the rest of my courses online. I didn’t want Kauzie po
pping up on me there. I smiled to myself as I realized how close I was to receiving my diploma.
I took a shower then got on my tablet. I had been sleeping in the spare bedroom like Tassana told me to do. She said they agreed to sleep in separate rooms.
I needed to go shopping. Tassana took her good clothes and left my ass with her plain clothes. I know darn well she didn’t want me to wear my things. I needed to call Shimmy. She would steal the whole mall for you just a few hundred bucks.
After I studied and answered some questions online, I took a shower. When I got out, I called Tassana’s phone again. It went straight to voicemail. I left her a message then hung up. I grabbed my sketchbook from under the mattress then started drawing. I drew when I wanted to tune the world out. After everything settled, this would be the only thing I had left to lean on.
It was ten at night when I heard the door shut. Kauzie normally got off at five, but he probably stopped at No Hands’ house before he came home. I thought he was going to his parents’ house.
I walked out of the room and down the stairs. Kauzie was in the kitchen stumbling. This nigga was drunk.
“What the hell!” I said to him.
“Shut the fuck up. Take your ass to bed,” he said guzzling down a bottle of water.
“Why are you so mean?” I asked.
“She fucking left me. Now when I come home, I have to see her fucking face. I got a feeling she ain’t coming back. Tokyo ain’t just going to leave me and not say shit,” he said pouring himself a drink. I snatched it away from him.
“No more alcohol,” I said to him.
He stumbled towards the stairs then tripped. I helped him up.
“Get your heavy ass up nigga. I keep telling you to stop drinking. You can’t hold your liquor,” I fussed then he laughed.
“You sounded like her,” he said pulling himself up. I didn’t think it would affect him like this. It was crushing me.
“It’s only been a few days since she’s been gone,” I said to him.
“Whatever, Tassana,” he said stumbling up the stairs. He went into the master bedroom as I followed behind him. He flopped down on the bed with his work clothes on.
“Get up so you can take a bath,” I said. I went into the bathroom to run him some water. I walked back into the room and he was snoring. I started undressing him.
“Get your heavy ass up nigga. Get the fuck up!” I yelled, slapping his chest. I pulled down his boxer briefs and there it was, his one-eye monster.
“You want to suck it don’t you?” he asked me.
“Hell no nigga, you are not all of that,” I lied.
“What are you here for then? I thought you were packing up shit to leave. I come home and your ass is still here,” he spat.
“Say something else slick and watch how I slap the hell out of you. Get your ass in that tub so you can sober up a little bit. Don’t fucking play with me nigga,” I said.
“Alright man, damn,” he said walking into the bathroom. I smiled as his tall, lean, muscular, naked body stumbled to the bathroom. He got into the tub then leaned his head back against the wall, while I sat on the toilet seat.
“What do you want, Tassana?” he asked me.
“I’m just making sure your ass doesn’t drown. Nigga, be thankful,” I said to him then he chuckled.
“When are you going to stop pretending like you give a fuck? This shit is stressing me out,” he said.
“I always cared about you. I know I can be selfish and I’m working on that, but you are not cooperating with me,” I said to him. I got up then grabbed the shampoo and lathered it into his dreads. He closed his eyes as I massaged the shampoo into his scalp.
“That feels good,” he said.
After I rinsed the shampoo out, I put some conditioner in it. Kauzie seemed like he was sobering up, so I let the water out of the tub.
“Now, you can stand up and take a shower,” I said to him. He stood up then turned the shower on looking at me, trying to figure me out.
“Goodnight, Kauzie,” I said. He reached out then grabbed my hand.
“I apologize for saying that shit to you. Thanks for looking out for me,” he said. I pulled my arm away from him.
“You are welcome,” I said to him, walking to the other room. When I got in bed, I just laid there. I could hear Kauzie moving around. I stayed awake and so did he.
Two weeks later…
Kauzie was still keeping his distance from me, but I could tell that he was somewhat dealing with that fact I was gone. I hadn’t been seeing him checking his phone every minute like he was waiting for me to call. His attitude wasn’t as bad, but it was still there. Tassana had been seeing a side of Kauzie I have never known. She must have done something to him to make him like that towards her.
The hotel had called me offering me the job. I was excited. I was finally working some place decent. I just worried about Kauzie popping up at my job. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have a reason to.
I walked through the mall carrying a few bags. My money was getting really low. I had to make it stretch until I got my first paycheck. Shimmy had gotten some things for me, but it wasn’t enough. I had to wear casual clothes for work and what I had and what Tassana had left behind still wasn’t enough.
My phone rang and it was Kauzie. I was shocked that he was calling the phone. When I called him, he barely answered. He didn’t even notice that the number was different from Tassana’s old number. He didn’t even ask me about it when I called him from it.
“Helloooo,” I answered sweetly.
“What are you doing?” he asked. It sounded like he was shuffling through some papers.
“I’m grabbing a few things for work,” I said.
“You finally got a job, huh? Congratulations. Where are you working at?” he finally asked me. It’s been a week since I’ve started working and he hadn’t even acknowledged it.
“The front desk at the Ramada Inn,” I said.
“So you are working with Kyree, huh?” he laughed.
“It’s a paycheck. But what’s up, what you want?” I asked him smiling. Men could dish it out but couldn’t take it.
“Damn, it’s like that? I feel you shorty. I see you,” he said laughing.
“Hey shorty, can I holla at you for a minute?” a guy asked grabbing my hand. Since I changed my look up I had been getting a lot of this. Did I look that ratchet? I asked myself.
“Nigga, don’t you see I’m on the phone,” I said to him. He was average looking, but his fake jewelry was killing me. He grilled me then bopped away.
“You stay busy don’t you?” Kauzie asked chuckling.
“Busy trying to get ahead, now what’s up, Kauzie? You usually don’t call me,” I said playing with him.
“Girl, chill the hell out. You left your house key on the counter this morning. I meant to call you earlier to tell you, but I got busy at work. So, if you are headed there now let me know so I can let you in,” he said.
“Ok, I’m on my way there,” I said hanging up without saying goodbye.
Kauzie and I pulled up at the same time. He was shirtless with specs of paint on his chest. His long dreads were pulled back. I licked my lips as I lustfully stared at his chest. I missed him being inside of me. His strokes were powerful and rocked my body to an orgasm every time he entered me. It had been a while since I felt him inside of me. I still couldn’t believe Tassana wanted me to sleep with him. I hadn’t spoken to Tassana since. I even called the cancer treatment center, and they said they couldn’t tell me if they had her as a patient because it was confidential. So, now my only luck was her calling me and letting me know she was okay.
Kauzie left the door opened for me. He went into the kitchen to wash his hands.
“Can you fix me a sandwich real quick? I’m not trying to go in the fridge this filthy,” he said sitting down at the island. I set my bags down then washed my hands. I grabbed the things that he liked on his sandwich and he just stared at me.
�
�What?” I asked him.
“Aren’t you going to ask me what I like on my sandwich?” he asked me.
“I already know,” I said to him.
“How? You never made me one before,” he said.
“I pay attention to shit. Damn nigga, don’t start shit with me today,” I said cutting his sandwich up. I poured him some Kool-Aid then handed him some chips.
“Shorty, I swear something ain’t right with you,” he said biting into his sandwich.
“Something ain’t right with you either. You are disrespectful,” I said.
“And? You are sneaky. Let’s not forget how you got knocked up by another nigga. Oh, and you burned me. Then you lied and told my mama I put my hands on you. So yeah, a nigga can get disrespectful at times,” he said. My mouth dropped.