New Life

by Bonnie Dee

  Baby, that was its name. I held my hand out, fingers curled so Baby could sniff me and decide whether she wanted me to touch her, but the pup wasn’t shy. She thrust her head against my fist, begging for attention. I scratched between her ears, and she dropped belly up on the grass. I rubbed her stomach.

  “She’s so adorable I can’t stand it.” Anna’s voice went high and girly as she gushed over her new pet, but I had to admit the pup was pretty damn cute.

  She unhooked the leash from the dog’s collar. Immediately, Baby was up on all fours and bounding around us.

  “She reminds me of…” One of those vivid flashes filled my mind. It was my birthday. I could taste the cake, smell the blown-out candles, feel soft fur and a warm, wiggling puppy. “Reminds me of when we got our dog. He was my birthday present.”

  “Sweet. I bet you never forgot that birthday.”

  We followed Baby as she darted down the path, stopping every few feet to sniff spots other dogs had marked and then leaving her own piss stamp.

  “How was your week?” Anna asked.

  “Normal.” I tried to think of one interesting thing I could tell about, but unless she wanted to hear how I bravely unclogged a toilet, there wasn’t much to say. “What about yours?”

  “I lost my car keys and had to make a new set. That made me late for an important meeting, which didn’t look too good. But otherwise I guess I’m doing okay. They haven’t fired me yet.”

  “Do you worry about being fired?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. Most of the time I know I’m doing a good job, but other times I feel like I’m skating on the edge and one mistake will put me in the reject pile.”

  “That’s a lot of pressure. Is your firm putting it on you, or are you putting it on yourself?”

  She punched my arm. “Okay, sensei. I don’t need analysis today. I’ve always been an overachiever. I know I’ve got issues about success.”

  “Everybody’s got issues. Except these guys.” I nodded at other people’s dogs chasing each other across the grass, nipping and playing like the pack animals they were.

  “Uncomplicated,” Anna agreed. She grabbed my hand. “Come on. Let’s run.”

  We raced after Baby toward the throng of dogs catching Frisbees and balls or playing tug-o-war with their masters. That afternoon was golden. I’ve never forgotten how Anna looked, red-faced from running, grinning and happy, completely at ease and completely gorgeous. I wanted to chase her and tumble her to the ground like the dogs were doing to each other, but had to be satisfied with tossing a Frisbee back and forth while trying to teach Baby to fetch it.

  My bum hip ached by the time we stopped to buy a drink from a cart, but I couldn’t have been happier. I put my hand on Anna’s waist as we walked and, a moment later, felt her arm slip around my back. This was an honest-to-God date. Something I’d been afraid wasn’t going to be a possibility in my post-accident life.

  “So, what do you think?” Anna asked as we sipped icy lemonade. “Want to come to my house for dinner? I’ll grill.”

  My heart leaped at her casual invitation. “Dinner. Sure. That’d be great.” My earlier fantasies of dinner evolving into a make-out session kicked in.

  “Are you ready to go home, Baby?” She clipped the lead back on the pup’s collar, and she immediate surged forward. I limped beside them down the path. Shouldn’t have run after that Frisbee so much because now my hip was threatening to lock up.

  Anna glanced at me with a concerned frown. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” I tried to walk less like a gimp. The last thing I wanted was her sympathy—again. What I really wanted was to kiss her. A lot. And to have sex. A whole lot.

  When we reached her car, it was a relief to ease into the passenger seat. I shifted until I found a more or less comfortable position for my leg. Anna put the dog in the back seat, but Baby immediately sprang over to the front and curled up on my lap.

  Sliding behind the wheel, Anna eyed her mutt, who gazed innocently back. “You are so bad. I’ve got to train you better, or you’re going to be out of control.” But she left Baby on my lap.

  It was nice holding a dog. I ran my fingers through her wiry coat and looked out the window at the traffic flashing past. I felt a little disoriented as I tried to think of something to say. Then I remembered Dr. Gorman’s advice: When in doubt, keep quiet. Thoughts had a way of going from my brain straight to my mouth with no filter, so to keep from telling Anna exactly what I was thinking—that I’d like to be inside her right now—I opted for the more appropriate option of silence.

  “My place isn’t too far from here,” she filled the quiet. “I have some chicken marinating. You eat meat, right?”

  “Yeah. That sounds good.” I glanced at her forearm, the muscles flexing slightly as she gripped the wheel. Fine hairs caught the sunlight. I wanted to reach out and run a finger over her arm to see how soft her skin felt. I started to lift my hand before I caught myself and pulled it back.

  “My parents are coming to visit this month,” she said.

  I remembered her comment about trying to live up to their expectations. “You looking forward to seeing them?”

  “I am.” She paused, then said it again. “Really I am. I do miss them. Of course, the moment I’m around them, they drive me crazy, but it will be good to see them.” She sounded as if she were trying to convince herself.

  “What do they do to drive you crazy?”

  “Little comments and suggestions, passive-aggressive stuff that sounds innocent but is pointed. Or maybe I’m being overly sensitive and imagining those barbs.”

  “My folks say exactly what they mean. There’s no doubt about it,” I said. “My neighborhood is too dangerous. I’d be safer moving back home. The message is that I’m disorganized and bound to screw up eventually, and they’ll be left picking up the pieces again.”

  “But you’re doing all right on your own, aren’t you? I can understand you not wanting to be dependent on them. Still, they almost lost you in an accident, so you can’t blame them for worrying.”

  “I can’t blame them. That’s the problem. So I don’t say anything when they start in on me.”

  “Gotta love parents.” She smiled, and I stopped thinking about my parental problems as my mind filled only with her.

  “You’re so hot.” The words popped out before I could stop them.

  Her eyes widened. “Uh, thank you.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.” I dug myself in deeper.

  Dimples flashed. “You didn’t?”

  “Well, I did, but I didn’t mean to say it out loud. Sometimes that happens. Bad impulse control.”

  She laughed. “That’s all right. I think you’re hot too.”

  Even if she was just being polite, I enjoyed the ego stroke.

  Katie had told me more than once that I used to be a hopeless flirt, but I didn’t remember that life. Flirting was all new and shaky ground to me now. I continued petting Baby and kept my mouth shut the rest of the drive to Anna’s apartment.

  She lived in a nice neighborhood. Her monthly rent must’ve been about what I earned in six months. I couldn’t help but be impressed and a little intimidated by the building and the décor of the apartment, which looked like something out of a magazine. Everything was clean and new, except the antiques, which were supposed to have a patina of age.

  Anna unleashed Baby, and the dog scampered across plush cream-colored carpet. That carpet would be dirty gray pretty soon, I thought.

  “Nice place.”

  “Thanks. I haven’t had a chance to decorate yet so the colors are neutral. I should’ve painted before I moved all my stuff in, but I couldn’t decide on colors, and I ran out of time. Now I’m too busy.”

  She led the way to the living room. I sat on the couch while she went to get us something to drink. I gazed out the window at the beautiful architecture of an old church backed by the glass faces of office buildings. The view was quite a contrast to the crum
bling brick wall that faced my window.

  Anna returned with wineglasses and handed one to me before sitting beside me on the couch. “Are you hungry yet? I could get the grill going.”

  “I’m in no hurry,” I said, though my stomach was growling. I just wanted to sit there with her for a while. If sitting happened to turn into kissing, hell, I’d be happy to postpone dinner for the rest of the night.

  We sat close but not touching, side by side on the couch. I sipped wine and considered putting the glass down and lunging for her, but damned if I could bring myself to make a move. Every cell inside me was vibrating with the need to kiss her. I moved my leg as if trying to get more comfortable and pressed my knee against hers. Progress but hardly passionate.

  Baby returned from the kitchen with dog-food breath and jumped up on the couch between us. We both reached to pet her, and our hands touched. My gaze met Anna’s, and I stopped thinking and simply leaned to kiss her. The wine tasted better on her tongue. The soft skin at her nape was hot beneath my hand. I closed my eyes and did what came naturally—tasted the lips of a beautiful woman and pulled her body closer.

  Baby growled, as she was trapped between us. Time flowed, formless and free, seconds or maybe eons passing, distilled to this intimacy of breath and touch. I lost myself in Anna, the solid warmth of her body, the texture of her hair, and those soft sounds she made, moans of pleasure and whimpers of desire as my hand slipped underneath her shirt and stroked her back.

  Annoyed by our moving bodies, Baby jumped down.

  Sometime later, Anna broke off in the middle of a kiss. Her hair was mussed and her eyes heavy lidded. Somehow we’d shifted until I was flat on my back and she was lying on top of me.

  “Um, shall I make dinner, or do you just want to maybe go to my bedroom?” she whispered.

  I laughed at the obviousness of the answer.

  She got up and offered her hand to pull me to my feet; then she took me to her bed, which had the softest sheets I’d ever lain on.

  Chapter Twelve

  I could tell you about the sex, about how Jason’s hands glided over my body with a sort of reverence and his lips traced a burning trail from my throat all the way down to my pussy. I could tell you how I shivered when he touched me there, how exactly right his tongue and fingers felt, how quickly and how hard I came. I could say how I gasped and gripped his shoulders when he entered me; how I watched his face as he came and the unguarded joy in his expression moved me to climax a second time.

  If I told all that, you still couldn’t know what it felt like. Oh yeah. Sex—I’ve had that many times. An orgasm? Dime a dozen. But unless you were in that moment with us, inside my body or Jason’s, you couldn’t know what it felt like.

  It’s not as if I’m some blushing virgin who’s never had good sex before, but this was different. As Jason pushed inside me, our eyes met, and something happened I can hardly describe. Afterward, when I collapsed back on the bed, breathless and perspiring, I felt like a different person, one who was both thrilled and alarmed about the way her world was tilting.

  Jason also lay on his back, breathing heavily, eyes closed and one arm flung above his head. I wanted to ask if he was okay. I’d gotten the impression he hadn’t been with anyone since his accident. This must be like discovering sex all over again. If it had been as powerful for him as it was for me, he might feel a little overwhelmed. Plus, there was his sore hip. Our lovemaking hadn’t been exactly gentle.

  But I knew how Jason felt about being fussed over, so I offered a more casual, “So whaddya think?”

  He smiled without opening his eyes. God, those adorable crinkles at the corners made me want to start all over again. He was unbearably cute and sexy. I rolled to my side and kissed his shoulder.

  He opened his eyes to look at me. “Was it good for you?”

  “Hell, yeah.” I scooted closer to his side, and he slipped an arm around me. I would’ve been happy to stay that way all night, but his stomach gave a tremendous rumble. “You must be starving. I’ll go make something.”

  He held me back when I started to rise. “Not yet. Let’s lie here a little longer.”

  How many men liked cuddling after sex? Not most of the ones I’d dated, who seemed anxious to get to the next item on their agenda. Maybe that was one of the hazards of dating ambitious men who, like me, were in the habit of juggling fifty things at once.

  Baby had been a good first step in reminding me how to slow down and enjoy each moment. Jason was an even better reminder to stop and breathe.

  I settled back into his warm embrace and lay quietly for several moments. “Tell me something. What was the rehab like after your accident? What did you have to do?”

  Too personal? But then we’d done about the most personal thing two people can do, so surely I could ask more of him than what kind of movies he liked.

  “Physical exercises to regain strength in my injured leg and shoulder, but also memory training. I learned to split every task into units, write each step down, then repeat it until I don’t have to check the list anymore.”

  The whining outside the bedroom door grew louder, and Baby began to scratch at it. I sighed in exasperation. “She’s going to dig her way right through.”

  Reluctantly, I climbed out of bed and let the dog in. She bounded through the doorway, raced around me several times then jumped onto the bed. Jason let out a yelp as her claws scraped his bare torso. He roughed her up, rolling her and tickling her belly until she growled.

  I was tempted to crawl back into the love nest, but, since I was up, decided I might as well make our dinner at last. I put on my robe and went to fire up the grill on my little balcony. Gathering everything I needed from the kitchen, I headed back outdoors just as Jason emerged from the bedroom with Baby frisking alongside him.

  He looked so hot wearing only a pair of jeans with his black hair bed-tousled. He wasn’t muscle-bound but sinewy and lean, the way I like. Scars marked his right side where he’d had several surgeries to repair his shoulder and collarbone. I’m embarrassed to admit I found the scars kind of sexy, as if he were a wounded warrior rather than a college kid who’d gotten stupid-drunk and cracked up his car.

  He followed me out to the balcony and watched me spread chicken on the grill. Steam rose from the sizzling meat, the smell making me salivate.

  “You want to get something to drink?” I asked. “There’s pop, bottled water, and a few beers in the fridge. I’ll take anything diet.”

  He disappeared inside and was gone long enough for me to have to turn the chicken over. I was about to check on him, when he returned with a pair of glasses. I urged him to sit at the patio table while I turned on some music. The sun was setting, and a romantic pink glow filled the air as I filled our plates and placed them on the table.

  “Would you rather have wine with your meal?”

  “No. This is good.” He sipped his drink, and a drop of condensation fell from the glass to his chest. My gaze traced its course down the plane of his chest. By the time the water droplet disappeared below the edge of the table, my appetite for chicken had fled, replaced by a much stronger hunger. I focused on serving up the dinner.

  Baby sat on the floor beside me, gazing up with the eyes of a starved dog and whimpering.

  Jason smiled. “You feed her from your plate, don’t you?”

  “Sometimes.” Like every meal. I was a horrible disciplinarian.

  “I used to slip things I didn’t like to Skeezer underneath the table.” Jason paused with a forkful of chicken halfway to his mouth. He blinked, breaking out of a trance. “Sorry. Whenever a new memory pops up, it sort of takes me by surprise. It’s like finding a lost piece of a puzzle.”

  “I get it.” I pictured him assembling a massive jigsaw with big hunks missing. Every rediscovered piece of his past must be precious.

  “Anyway…” He dismissed the topic and resumed eating. I understood we couldn’t ignore Jason’s disability if our relationship continued, but it was
n’t something he wanted to touch every aspect of his life. So I changed the subject to the song playing over the speakers, one of my current favorites, a duet about the end of a love affair that was both poignant and catchy.

  “Do you like this song? I have it on repeat on my MP3 player when I’m running. It reminds me of every breakup I ever had, so why would I want to relive the pain, right? Guess it’s cathartic.”

  “Who’d be stupid enough to break up with you?” The hot stare Jason leveled at me set my pulse beating faster.

  “Tim, for one. And there was somebody I dated back in college who...really broke my heart. Other than that, I guess the rest were really just flings.”

  “Like this one?”

  “No, not like this. This is something more, I think. Maybe.”

  Jason’s eyes narrowed as happy creases bloomed around them. “Maybe.”

  Damn, our second date and we were already discussing what it meant. Was I ready for this?

  Chapter Thirteen

  The grilled chicken was great, but it was all I could do to choke it down since Anna sat across from me, naked underneath a lightweight robe. Every time she leaned forward, the gaping top offered tempting glimpses of her breasts, distracting me from our conversation. I was easily unfocused that evening, spending God knew how many minutes in her kitchen trying to choose a couple of drinks from the fridge but actually reliving every detail of the sex we’d had.

  Sex! In her bed. Inside her. Naked skin. Soft moans. Anna’s thrusting body. Her breasts filling my mouth and my hands. My cock surrounded by her flesh. It was no wonder it took me a while to pick out a couple of sodas, close the fridge door, and pour glasses of diet cola.

  After we finished dinner and were clearing the table, I couldn’t contain myself any longer. I caught hold of the tie of Anna’s robe and tugged her toward me. She dropped the plate she was holding on the table with a clatter and came into my arms, her hands snaking around the back of my neck and pulling my face down for a kiss. She acted as eager as I felt. Good to know I hadn’t been the only one sitting politely through dinner when what I wanted to do was sweep the table clear and fuck right on top of it.