Shot Through the Heart

by Matt Cain

  ‘I know,’ cooed her friend. ‘Mia Sinclair’s a jammy cow!’

  Leo pretended not to notice them but it was really difficult not to react. All week he’d hated this – having to listen to everyone talking about his girlfriend being in love with another man while his existence was covered up like some guilty secret. Now he was starting to get an inkling of how a gay man like Billy must feel, having to hide away in the closet just for being himself. And it wasn’t nice at all. But after blowing his top at the photo shoot the other week, making a fool out of himself and in the process putting Billy in a difficult position, Leo really didn’t feel that he had the right to complain about anything.

  ‘Billy isn’t making a dipshit out of me, Ronnie. Honestly, he’s not like that. And I promise you there’s nothing going on with him and Mia.’

  ‘OK, buddy, whatever you say.’ Ronnie lifted a fork piled high with more food than Leo ever thought could fit into a human mouth and somehow managed to manoeuvre it all in. ‘So in that case,’ he went on once he’d swallowed, ‘does that mean I can go out and pap them now? Because I’ve stayed away from them all week but pretty soon Chip and Biff are going to start asking questions. I mean, I’m guessing if it’s a set-up like you say then Mia won’t mind. And Rosie’s giving me a real hard time about making some decent dough. If we’re ever going to have a baby then I need to earn every cent I can.’

  Leo did his best to give him a cheery smile. ‘Yep, be my guest,’ he managed. ‘Somebody’s got to take the photos so it might as well be you.’ He couldn’t help wondering how he’d ended up in this position. Just a few months ago he’d never have imagined he’d be advising his best mate to photograph his film-star girlfriend while she was out on a date with another man. The whole thing felt completely unreal.

  ‘And when are you coming back to work, bud?’ Ronnie asked. ‘I’m assuming this whole flu thing was bullshit.’

  ‘Oh I’ll be back in business tomorrow.’

  Ronnie nodded his approval. ‘And what do you reckon to this Hunter Kelly job? It could even be one for the top ten . . .’

  They’d each received a message yesterday explaining that make-up artist turned celebrity girlfriend Dominique was setting up a honey trap for her man, Cooper Kelly’s son Hunter. She was earning a hefty fee for taking reformed drug addict Hunter to an exclusive nightclub where she’d arranged for a stash of cocaine to be left in a VIP room, which would conveniently be accessible to a few carefully selected paparazzi. It was potentially a big story, as Hunter was telling anyone who’d listen how he’d finally beaten his addictions, and was later that same week due to start work on his big comeback film. If he gave in to temptation and was caught snorting coke now, it’d be quite a fall from grace.

  From the look on his face, Ronnie was obviously keen to accept the job. ‘Come on, man . . . ker-ching, ker-ching?’

  Leo laughed. ‘You know what, mate, I’m not sure I’m up for it. I’m not really sure I approve to be honest.’

  Ronnie mimed disbelief. ‘What? What are you talking about?’

  ‘Just, you know, it seems a bit harsh on Hunter. What if he has kicked the drugs and she’s going to tempt him back and mess it all up for him?’

  ‘Yeah but if we thought like that we’d never take a single picture. And anyway, whatever happened to our code of shooting first and thinking later?’

  Leo pushed his plate of food away and stroked his chin. ‘Look, no offence, mate, but I’m just not sure I’m cut out for this anymore. Maybe my papping days are over.’

  ‘What are you talking about? You’re the best pap in town – you always have been.’

  ‘Thanks, partner. But maybe it just doesn’t fire me up like it used to. You know, I was thinking the other day about becoming a sports photographer.’

  ‘A sports photographer?’ Now it was Ronnie’s turn to push away his plate. ‘Dude, are you sure you’re not sick?’

  ‘Perfectly sure. It’s just that things are going really well with Mia at the moment. And if they carry on the way they’re going, then sooner or later I’ll have to think about changing my career. I’ve thought about it and realized I’m not cut out to be a fashion or features photographer so I just thought maybe I’d give sports photography a go. At least it might give me the buzz I used to get from papping a tough target.’

  ‘Yeah but giving it all up already? Isn’t that a little drastic?’

  ‘Maybe. But this whole thing is pretty drastic. I think I’m in love with her, Ronnie. Well, I know I’m in love with her.’

  Ronnie’s expression changed, acknowledging the significance of Leo’s statement. ‘And have you told her that?’

  ‘No, but I’m going to – very soon.’

  *

  ‘Oh it’s so adorable to see two young people so obviously in love!’

  Violet greeted Mia and Billy somewhat theatrically at the entrance to her office block. There were air kisses all round before she swept them into the building and past a throng of receptionists, assistants, interns and general lackeys, all of whom looked terrified at the sight of her.

  ‘Come through and tell me all about it!’ she trilled at the top of her voice.

  Mia and Billy shuffled after her sheepishly, listening to the sound of her dagger heels on the marble floor. Both of them did their best to flash warm smiles at her clearly long-suffering team.

  Once they were in her office Violet slammed the door behind them.

  ‘Now then . . . who’d like a drink?’

  ‘Just, just a water please,’ croaked Billy.

  ‘Yeah, me too,’ bleated Mia. ‘Please.’

  As if by magic an assistant who looked like he hadn’t slept for a month appeared with two glasses of water. As he set one down in front of Mia, she could see that his hands were shaking.

  ‘That’ll be all,’ barked Violet. ‘Now shut the door and make sure you switch off my phones. I do not want to be disturbed.’

  The assistant nodded and scuttled away. As he closed the door Mia, Billy and Violet were left in silence.

  ‘Now then,’ Violet began, ‘I’ve asked you here to talk about our little show-mance.’

  ‘Mmm-hmm,’ managed Billy. ‘What about it?’

  ‘Well, there’s no easy way to say this but it’s not really working for me at the moment.’

  ‘What?’ mouthed Mia. ‘I thought the press were loving it.’

  ‘They are – for now. But that’s only the start. And I think it’s about time we upped the ante.’

  ‘But we don’t want to overdo it,’ struggled Billy. ‘Wouldn’t that be asking for trouble?’

  ‘Listen Billy,’ Violet steamed, ‘if there’s one thing I know about, it’s publicity. And unless we start cranking things up soon, the press are going to lose interest. Fact.’

  ‘OK,’ ventured Mia. ‘And what exactly do you have in mind?’

  ‘Well, as I’m sure you both know, there’s just one week left till our premiere . . .’

  Mia didn’t need reminding – in preparation for the big night she was already back on her extreme diet and working out daily with Cole. This time she was hating it more than ever and just that morning she’d made a decision: this was the very last time she was going to have it worked into her contract that she had to be a size zero for filming and the premiere. Lately she’d started learning about moderation, about relaxing and enjoying life, about not being a robot. It had all come as something of a revelation and it was all down to Leo.

  ‘So I think it’s about time we finished up the foreplay,’ Violet went on, ‘and started to work things up to a nicely timed climax.’

  Mia gulped.

  ‘We need another date – nothing fancy, just a little dinner, somewhere nice and public where everyone will see you, Billy, get a little carried away and work Mia up into a sexual frenzy.’

  Billy wiped his brow and nodded.

  ‘And then after dinner we need to make sure that you go back to spend the night at Mia’s place. I’ll arr
ange a driver – someone who’ll blab to the press about the two of you getting down and dirty in the back of his car. And then it’s all perfectly simple. You make out at Mia’s bedroom window and then, Billy, you take your shirt off and close the curtains. You got that?’

  Billy tried to stop his eyes from boggling.

  Violet glowered at him. ‘The next morning you open the curtains bare-ass naked with your back to the window so as not to show them too much. And Mia, you look on adoringly with your best FFF.’

  ‘FFF? What’s an FFF?’

  ‘A freshly fucked face. You know, when you’ve just been fucked mercilessly and have that wonderful post-sex glow.’

  Mia blushed. She couldn’t help thinking about Leo; she felt exposed, as if the whole conversation was indecent.

  ‘Oh come on, Mia,’ Violet snapped. ‘You’re a very talented actress – I’m sure it’s in your repertoire.’

  Now Mia was blushing even more. She reached for her water and took a big swig.

  ‘And if you want to finish things up by kissing each other goodbye on the doorstep then that’s fine by me,’ Violet went on. ‘Just as long as you leave the press in no doubt as to what you got up to when those curtains were closed. And that’s it. Done and done.’

  Mia wondered what Leo would think about Violet’s latest plan. He still hadn’t mentioned the show-mance since their bust-up at the photo shoot and he’d had plenty of opportunity. Maybe he’d got used to the idea and was fine with it now. Come to think of it, Billy still hadn’t mentioned it either. She’d assumed he’d been putting on a brave face like her but maybe he’d got used to it too. The problem with Billy was that he spent so much of his time being bouncy and upbeat that it was difficult to tell if deep down he was unhappy. Sure, he looked a little uncomfortable right now but that was nothing unusual; everyone looked like that around Violet. Maybe she’d been misreading the situation all along and Billy was perfectly happy with the show-mance. Maybe it was only her who was reluctant to take it further.

  Violet looked at them for a reaction but none was forthcoming.

  ‘What’s the problem?’ she snarled. ‘This is nothing new – just the natural progression of what we’re doing anyway.’

  ‘Yeah but it seems a little more sinister for some reason,’ Mia managed.

  Violet scoffed. ‘Tsk! You’re not telling me you expect the press to fall for a few cosy dinners and public appearances? That isn’t going to work, Mia – I don’t know if you’ve ever met a pap but they’re not stupid. We need to put on much more of a show if they’re really going to buy it. For them to see through our little charade now would be a total disaster – for all of us.’

  Billy put his hands together and clenched them tightly.

  Violet turned her back on them and strode over to look out of the window. ‘And, you know, need I mention the Box Office . . . ?’

  Mia pursed her lips while she thought it over.

  ‘I’m sure both of you know just how important this film could be for your careers . . .’

  She knew already that when Violet was like this there was no point arguing.

  ‘You’re on the home strait – just one little push and it’ll all be over . . .’

  Maybe she was right, anyway. Maybe they were too far down the line to back out now.

  ‘All right, let’s do it,’ Mia said.

  Billy nodded in silence.

  ‘Good!’ crowed Violet, turning around to face them. ‘Now I don’t know about you two, but I’m ready to shoot my load.’

  11

  Mia was back in Sky High reclining on a heavily cushioned sofa and listening to the venue’s familiar Brazilian music. The last time she’d been here, sitting at exactly the same table, she’d been on a date with Dan Morrison the carpenter. This time, just a few months later, she was on a date with Billy.

  ‘What about those two there?’ Billy gestured towards a couple of Arab men wearing what looked like gingham dish towels on their heads. ‘They’ve got to be fakes, surely.’

  ‘Nah, it’s way too obvious,’ she frowned. ‘Check out that Latin-looking guy with the stick-on moustache – now he’s a major phoney.’

  They looked over and sized him up.

  Apparently Violet had booked a table for a couple of paps under her name and they’d be following the action on hidden cameras. She’d thought that this time it’d be better for it to look like Mia and Billy had been caught off guard in a private restaurant rather than papped flaunting themselves somewhere public like The Ivy. Which had left them guessing which of their fellow diners were the under-cover paps.

  ‘Excuse me,’ interrupted a nicotine-blonde waitress. ‘Are you ready to order?’ Mia recognized her as the same woman with the face like a King Charles Spaniel who’d served her when she’d come here with Dan.

  ‘Erm, yeah,’ said Billy. ‘Sorry, erm, I’ll just have the grilled chicken salad please. No dressing.’

  ‘And I’ll have the steamed fish with vegetables please,’ said Mia.

  The waitress gave them a big smile. ‘Coming right up.’

  ‘She must think we’re such dorks,’ Mia joked once she’d gone. ‘That’s got to be the most boring order she’s taken in years.’

  ‘Don’t I know it.’ Billy sighed. ‘What I’d give for a big juicy steak right now.’

  ‘Oooh,’ Mia moaned. ‘Or a fat greasy cheeseburger. Smothered in mayonnaise.’

  ‘With chunky fries on the side . . .’

  Their laughter trailed off.

  ‘Do you ever ask yourself if it’s all worth it?’ Mia breathed into the silence. ‘I mean, seriously?’ She’d been asking herself this a lot lately, and not just about her diet. The trappings of her movie-star lifestyle had started to feel more like a burden than they ever had before, and her commitment to things like wearing full make-up every time she left the house was beginning to wane. ‘You know, I’m not complaining or anything,’ she went on. ‘The perks of working in the movies are totally amazing. But some of the sacrifices we have to make can be pretty shitty too. Do you know what I mean?

  ‘Sure I do, sugar,’ Billy nodded pensively. ‘I know just what you mean. But there’s no way out yet – we’ve got to see through this show-mance and I’ve just signed a contract for my next picture.’

  ‘Kissed by a Devil?’

  ‘That’s the one.’

  ‘Congratulations.’

  ‘Thanks. I’m not sure it’s anything to celebrate though. You know, I used to feel relieved every time I signed a contract. I used to think that I’d got away with it for one more movie, like I was safe for another year or so. I don’t know why but now I just feel more and more trapped.’

  Mia sipped on her rather bitter pomegranate juice. ‘I know, Billy. And it’s much harder for you than it is for me but having to cover up how I feel about Leo has made me think about a whole bunch of stuff. And lying sucks.’

  ‘It does, sugar. It sure does. But we’re stuck with it a while longer so you’re going to have to not let it get to you.’

  Mia shrugged half-heartedly.

  ‘You know,’ he went on, ‘when it gets me down, I try to think of it not so much as lying but more like spinning a fairytale.’

  ‘So it’s not so much dishonesty as fantasy?’

  ‘You got it.’

  ‘Well when you put it like that it doesn’t sound half as bad.’ She held up her glass for a toast. ‘Come on then, let’s celebrate your new job.’

  Billy brought his glass forward to meet hers.

  ‘To fairytales.’

  ‘To fairytales!’

  Despite her beaming smile, Mia still wasn’t sure why they were celebrating.

  *

  Leo took a swig of his beer and put it down on the bar.

  He and Ronnie were in Dirty Dick’s unwinding after a hard day’s work. They’d spent a total of seven hours trailing Destiny Diament, who they’d been told would be buying a pregnancy test from a quiet branch of Duane Reade in Burbank. Unfort
unately her publicist hadn’t specified a time and they’d had to follow her all over the city, shopping, having her nails done, eating lunch and then going for colonic irrigation before she’d finally given them what they were waiting for. It had been a long, soul-destroying day and now that it was over Leo was spent.

  But he also knew that Mia was out with Billy tonight and he wanted to take his mind off their date. Obviously he wasn’t jealous of Billy anymore, but he felt so in love with Mia that he wanted to shout about it to the whole world. Hiding it was becoming more and more difficult, especially when he had to put up with people thinking Mia was in love with someone else. He took another swig of his beer.

  Just then his phone bleeped at exactly the same time as Ronnie’s. They both picked them up to read identical text messages: ‘Billy Spencer banging Mia Sinclair tonight. Sky High now, her place later. Nail them.’

  So much for taking his mind off it.

  Leo picked up his beer and downed it in one. ‘Excuse me?’ he called to the bartender. ‘Can I get another beer?’

  Ronnie looked at him nervously. ‘Yeah, me too,’ he yelled.

  ‘Coming right up.’

  The two of them sat in silence as the bartender plonked down two pints of real ale in front of them.

  Ronnie began tapping his phone against his arm.

  ‘Man, this whole show-mance thing sucks. Are you sure you’re OK with it?’

  Leo buried his head in his hands. ‘Of course I’m not OK with it – it’s totally destroying me. But I’ve got to live with it. I told you, Ronnie, I’m in love with her.’

  ‘Then the whole thing’s crazy. How can you stand by and let another dude sleep with her?’

  ‘It’s not as simple as that, Ronnie. And I don’t really have much choice.’

  ‘You could front up to Billy. Tell him to back off.’

  ‘No, mate, Billy’s not the problem – honestly.’

  ‘Well it sounds like he’s the problem to me. Taking your girl out for dinner a few times, that’s one thing. But having sex with her is something else.’

  ‘They won’t be having sex, mate. Not really.’