TWICE UPON A TIME

by Jennifer Wagner

  Rafe's voice floated into the den counting from one to ten and ending with a bellowing, "Here I come!"

  "That's some list," he said at last, watching her warily.

  "And you're going to answer each and every one of them," she ordered. "But first you're going to answer this. Why did they try to grab Rafe and not you, if they want to get revenge?

  He rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. "The only reason I can think of is to get to me. They can't do more physical damage without killing me. Kidnapping Rafe, taking my son, would hurt me far more than broken bones."

  His son. Yet another issue they needed to discuss. One that took a bit of the wind out of her sails. How long had he known about the twins? Did he ever plan on seeing them or becoming a part of their lives? And what about her? Where did she figure into his plans? Those questions and many others would have to wait. Only her children's safety mattered now. She couldn't let violence touch their innocent lives.

  Standing and facing the lake, she was surprised to see small swells rolling gently to the shore. Her children played hide-and-seek while Lina sat watching them. How could everything look the same when her whole world had been turned upside down?

  Get a grip, she sighed, giving herself a mental kick. You can't fall apart now. And you definitely can't throw yourself into the arms behind you. Definitely not.

  "Anna?"

  Hiding her yearning and fear, she faced him. "How do we keep the children safe? Can't the police do anything?"

  "We can't involve them. I'm not sure who the Balangerios are using as an informant. I'll call a few friends and have some men sent in."

  His clipped sentences were like cold stakes, pounding the seriousness of the situation into her. "I see. So you think someone local, someone I may know, is working for these people?"

  "Yes."

  Oh, damn. "That's impossible. I mean, maybe they have someone watching, but to suggest I could know their informant is ridiculous." The revulsion of such an idea had her wrapping her arms around her middle. "The people I'm close to would never work for those monsters. No. Never. You're wrong."

  "You may be right," he said softly, putting a hand on her arm.

  She jerked away, bumping into the wall. The look on his face was terrible, and he slowly dropped his hand to his side. She opened her mouth to explain, to take away his hurt.

  But how could she explain that she needed his touch as much as she feared it?

  She cleared her throat. "When will you call your friends?"

  "Soon," he replied tonelessly.

  "Until then?"

  "Keep the children in the house. Make sure everything's locked."

  "What about Lina? Are you going to tell her who you … who you really are?"

  Catlike moves had him at the kitchen door before she finished speaking. He halted and looked back over one shoulder, all but his eyes in shadow. The color of beaten gold, they regarded her with such pain that tears welled up and blurred his image but could not drown out his words.

  "Why? Do you think she wouldn't wish me still dead?"

  * * *

  Chapter 5

  «^»

  Her protest swallowed by the sound of the screen door slamming, Anna dashed stray tears off her cheeks and ran to the door. Already across the road, he was inside his house before she could yell out.

  He couldn't possibly believe I'd want him dead. He's the father of my children, the only man I've ever loved. He knows me better than that.

  Her own words were a reminder that Rico hadn't known her at all.

  Rebecca's high-pitched giggle jolted her. Striding into the kitchen, she rid her face of the traces of tears and called everyone into the house.

  "But, Mommmmmm, I want to stay outside," Rafe whined.

  "I was thinking you guys might like to watch the new Disney movie I bought today."

  Five minutes later the twins were leaning against giant pillows in the den and drinking juice, already absorbed in the newest animation.

  "What's going on, Anna?" Lina asked. "And don't you give me that innocent look. Why would you pull them inside on a beautiful day like this?"

  Opening her mouth to respond, she was interrupted.

  "I think I can explain," Rico said from outside the screen door. Her pulse did a funny little skip at the sight of him, an eerie déjà vu feeling reminding her of her response to Gage. Which had actually been a response to Rico. Oh, Lord!

  He opened the door and shouldered his way in, almost losing his sunglasses in the process. "I'll be moving in for a while."

  Two duffel bags hit the floor hard.

  "Excuse me?" she asked, incredulous. How could she keep from touching him if he lived with her? Better yet, how could she keep her heart from being broken a second time?

  Lina watched the byplay with great interest. "Explain please. What exactly happened while I sat outside?"

  Rico walked past them, peering over the countertop that served as a wall between the kitchen and the sunken den. The children hadn't noticed his arrival.

  "Anna, is there somewhere we can talk?" he asked in a neutral voice while he walked back and methodically locked the screen and solid wood doors.

  "Can't it wait until later when they're asleep?"

  "No."

  Just looking at him and knowing who he was made it hard to think straight. Taking a deep breath, she went into the other room. "Kids, we'll be in the dining room if you need me. Okay?"

  They both nodded, never taking their eyes from the screen. Spinning on a heel without looking at Lina, she led the way to the dining room, a shaky feeling in the pit of her stomach. She slid wood-and-glass doors from between the walls, closing them off in the room, but still enabling her to see in the direction of the den.

  "What's going on?" Lina finally asked, anxiety threading her voice. "Why did Gage lock the doors?"

  "Everything's going to be fine. Really," she said at Lina's suspicious look. She pulled out a dining room chair and gestured to it. "But I want you to sit down. There are a few things you need to know. It's all going to be hard for you to understand. I'm still having a hard time with it myself…"

  "Anna! Tell me what's going on!"

  "Lina." Rico pulled his hand away from the blue venetian blinds he'd been looking through. "I lied to you."

  "What?"

  "I lied. I'm not Gage Moran."

  "What do you mean?" she interrupted. "Who are you, then?"

  "I'm Rico. Your son."

  Lina's dark-brown eyes darted from him to Anna and back, completely confused.

  "No, you're not," she said with a nervous chuckle and looked at Anna. "What kind of sick game is this?"

  "It's not a game, Lina," she answered.

  "My sons are dead! How can you be so cruel?" Her white-knuckled hands pushed her out of the chair, and her lower lip shook from her shuddering breaths. "They're dead!"

  "No, Mama. No. I'm right here."

  Lina's head shook from side to side as she denied his claim and her own hope. Anna put her hands out to stop Lina's exit, when Rico broke out with a torrent of Spanish.

  Lina stilled. Her eyes rounded and an unsteady hand lifted to cover her mouth. Anna eased her back down into the chair, worried by the shaking that swept through the older woman's body.

  Rico slowly bent to his knees beside the chair, not quite hiding a wince.

  "You're not Gage Moran?"

  "In name only."

  Lina's hands balled in her lap while a crazy hope lit her eyes. Reaching out with shaking hands, she gently removed his glasses. Even Anna held her breath as Rico opened his eyes.

  "Madre de Dios!" she whispered, shock sweeping away her color as she hurriedly crossed herself a few times.

  "Sí, Mama, es Americo," he whispered. "It's really me."

  "How?" she choked out, anguish making her accent thicker than usual. "My baby, what happened to you? Who changed you?"

  Placing his hands over hers on his face, he said, "It's a long story, Mam
a."

  "I can't believe this. I can't believe you're alive!" Her tears dripped into her wide smile, but she didn't notice, so busy she was touching Rico. "You know then about the children?" She continued at his nod. "Then you must know the truth about what happened…"

  Anna's heart clenched at the thought of Lina's confession, but Rico interrupted. "Mama, I know there's a lot to talk about, but there's something else I need to tell you."

  "Wait." Leaning over, she gathered Rico to her, her arms surrounding him. Brushing the ebony hair away from his face, she whispered against his temple, "Just let me hold my son."

  Anna stepped backward to the doors. Relief, love and even sadness haunted Rico's face. Remorse pierced her. She hadn't rejoiced in his return and thanked God. She hadn't hugged him or kissed him. She hadn't reached out to him and had pulled away the only time he tried to touch her. What kind of welcome had she given him, after all he'd been through?

  None.

  He may not know her anymore, but Anna wasn't sure she liked the person she'd become.

  * * *

  Carefully laying the cooked lasagna noodle in the pan, Anna tried not to look at the clock again. Rico and Lina were still talking in the dining room, and she wondered if her supposed infidelities had come up in the past half hour. Did he know yet there hadn't been other men? Did he feel guilty for leaving her or glad he'd gotten to see the world and not tied himself down in marriage with a woman he didn't trust?

  The rest of the noodles in place, she spooned in the sauce and meat mixture, vaguely registering the Disney music crescendoing from the den.

  What did he think of her now? She knew Gage found her attractive, so that meant Rico still wanted her. But was that enough? Passion and her love hadn't been enough to keep them together before. Besides, was Rico what she wanted?

  She added a layer of mozzarella and ricotta cheese without looking at the ticking clock. What would happen now? Could they protect their children?

  A nagging headache pushed her to the aspirin by the sink. Swallowing two, she looked out the window over the sink as the incredible realization swept through her again. Rico's alive! He's here, in my home, in my life. Alive. Every time she started to think of the past, the knowledge that he was alive would steal the breath from her and she would relive the disbelief and hope all over again.

  The dining room doors slid open roughly, the sound causing her heart to beat at a dizzying level. She quickly picked up the spatula in a weak attempt to look busy. They came walking out, Rico's arm resting around his mother's shoulder, her own around his waist. Putting on a bright smile, she said to Lina, "How are you?"

  "I've been given a miracle from God," she said reverently, smiling up at her son. "Thank the heavens I told my neighbors I was moving to Idaho with you. It would have been harder for him to find me!" She wrapped her other arm around his front and hugged him to her. "But hearing the rest of his news has me hoping it won't be taken away."

  Anna finally glanced at Rico. The force of his gaze seared her and she looked away quickly, not wanting him to see the raw emotions running through her.

  He hadn't looked for her. He'd been looking for his mother and found his children. Oh, God. Why should the thought hurt so? "I'm sure nothing like that will happen," she murmured, adding another layer to the lasagna.

  "Here, Anna. Let me finish this. Why don't you and–" she chuckled over her hesitation "–you and Rico talk?"

  "We have nothing to say," she said hollowly. "He needs to make calls before we'll know how to protect the children."

  Silence followed her remark.

  "We have more to talk about than the children."

  A slight thrill chased up her spine, even as she tamped it down. Her body betrayed her even as her heart hurt from this newest kind of betrayal. Remember what he did in the past, she told herself. Remember how easily he walked away. Stayed away. "No, we don't," she returned, spinning to face him. "We have only the children to discuss."

  Locked in visual combat, she heard Lina slide the lasagna into the oven and leave the room.

  Rico crossed his muscular arms over his chest and leaned back on his heels, looking relaxed and dangerous. "Nothing to discuss," he repeated. "Who are you trying to fool? Me? Or yourself?"

  "I'm not trying to fool anyone," she said through clenched teeth. "According to you, the twins are in danger. Because of you, I have to be worried my children will be hurt. Now, if you think this is going to be a grand opportunity for you to walk back into my life, after everything you've done, and pick up where you left off, you're wrong. There is no you and me. You made sure of that years ago. Now the only discussions we'll be having will be about the children."

  She looked away from those disturbing eyes and started slapping place mats onto the table. His silence stretched for so long she had to force herself not to look at him.

  His voice, when it finally came, was a cross between a growl and purr. "You and I are not over. Yes, we have a lot to talk about." He paused, and his voice dropped even lower as he turned her to face him. "I know I hurt you. But I promised I'd always come back for you. I'm keeping my promise, Bella."

  As if she'd stepped back in time, the unconditional love and tenderness she'd always felt for him washed over her, waves of it willing her to forget the past few years. She swayed, leaning into the strong hands on her shoulders.

  "I even understand why you needed to … be with other men and I forgive you. You were young and you'd never been with anyone but me. I wasn't around enough."

  He forgave her.

  "You're so tense," he said soothingly, his fingers massaging her neck and shoulders in circular motions.

  Bitter fury bubbled into her throat like an acid, eating away the weakening tenderness. Lina hadn't told him. She hadn't told him about the lies.

  But how dare he! How dare he come back into her life, as accidental as it obviously was, discover his children and still believe the lies about her! Believe she'd cared so little for him that she'd made love with anyone else.

  And how dare he forgive her! Damn him.

  "Get your hands off me." She concentrated on saying the words calmly, fighting the urge to scream them.

  "What, Bella?" he answered, absorbed in his massage techniques.

  She jerked away from his touch and looked up. Again the impact of his strange, familiar face slammed into her defenses, but this time she didn't give in.

  She wasn't a girl anymore. She wouldn't bow out of a confrontation or clash of wills.

  Rico needed to learn how much things had changed. How much she changed.

  "I am not, nor will I ever again be your 'Bella.' You are staying in my home to protect the children. You came back here, I assume, to protect them and your mother. While you are here, you are not to lay a finger on me. No more kisses, no more casual touches. And you are not to tell the children who you really are. Not until this is over. Is that understood?

  A muscle moved rhythmically in his jaw, keeping time with the ticking of the clock's second hand. "Giving orders?"

  She almost flinched from his whiplash question.

  "I assumed you'd know how to follow them after all these years of training," she shot back with a sarcastic purr.

  He took a step closer. His shirt brushed against hers. The insides of his boots bracketed her sneakers. His head bent down to her. She knew it was an intimidation tactic, and even as it worked it infuriated her.

  "I agree to your 'terms.' But add my own." He lowered his head so close she could see the flecks of topaz glittering in his eyes. "When we kiss, and I promise you we will, it'll be because you ordered me to. Is that understood?"

  She sucked in a breath, pressing her lips together to hold back her instinctive denial. He knew she wanted him and had no problem using it against her. Damn him.

  Don't react, Anna. Act. "Is that a promise?"

  The implication was not lost on him. He nodded, his nose brushing hers.

  "Good. Because it will be a cold day i
n hell before I order you to kiss me. It's not like you're my only choice should the need hit."

  With what she hoped resembled a cold smile, she moved away, unintentionally brushing against him. His eyes flared with emotions she wasn't about to stay and figure out.

  Even she knew when to retreat and regroup.

  * * *

  "Mommmmm! 'Becca threw her bread at me!"

  "Did not!"

  "Did, too!"

  Had she ever been more tired in her whole life? Even working eight hours a day while pregnant had been easier than this emotional roller coaster she couldn't get off.

  "Both of you stop. If you're playing with your dinner, then you're done eating it. It's time for your bath."

  Ignoring the twins' groans, Lina's silent disapproval and Rico's blatant stare, she carried her plate to the sink. The children followed and saved her yet again from having to say anything to the adults. She wasn't trying to ignore Lina, but it was so hard to see the happiness on her face. It made her angry and jealous, of all things! He'd come for Lina, not her. Admitting it to herself made her feel even worse.

  In a way she even hoped Lina wouldn't confess about the past. He hadn't tried to find her, and he still believed she had betrayed him. If he had searched and "forgiven" the past, she would have wanted Lina to shout her innocence. It would have helped heal things.

  "Here, Mom," Rafe said, handing her his plastic plate, Goofy's face bidden under tomato sauce.

  Rebecca followed suit before skipping back to Rico.

  "Want to help us take our baths, Mr. Moran?"

  Her daughter's voice scraped across her thin patience like nails on a chalkboard. As thankful as she'd been at the time, her children's unquestioned acceptance of Rico's moving in would make some things more difficult for her.

  "'Gage,' remember?" As she headed for the stairs, she saw him scoop Rebecca up into his arms. "How am I going to help?"

  "You have to make sure we don't splash too much or swim underwater too much. Mom says it's dangerous," she explained, mimicking Anna's warning.

  "Your mom's right," she heard him answer from the twins' bedroom.

  She turned on the taps, squirted in some bubbles and stood, pressing her hands against her back and stretching. She stopped dead when she caught her image in the mirror.