“I do want to touch you baby. I want to touch you so bad...” he lets out a frustrated sigh as he looks away from me and I swear he blushes. He clears his throat, “I’m so scared I’ll fuck it up, we haven’t been together for a very long time and my body misses the ways yours feels when I’m inside of you. I’m scared it’ll be over before it even begins, that’s why I push you away. I don’t mean to but I do. I just can’t mess this up too.” He says in a soft caring voice.
“What about Avery?” I ask. He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes then he lets out a breath and I know I’m not going to like what he has to say.
“I care about her.” He whispers. I push at his chest and he stumbles to the floor. I make a bee-line for the door, needing to get away.
“No wait!” Caleb calls out as he gets up and comes after me. I pull and pull on the door handle even though I know it’s locked and try to swallow back the tears.
I head for the open window near the bed praying I can get out somehow. I jump on the bed avoiding the area where Caleb stands but he grabs my ankle pulling me down. I fall onto the bed and he flips me over. He climbs on top of me and straddles my hips as he holds my hands down on either side of my head. I stop struggling when I feel the tears slip out, my chest heaving as a sob escapes my lips.
“It’s not like that Harley. I care about her but not like that. Not like you, I only love you baby…only you.” He bends down and rests his cheek against mine snuggling into me.
“Calm down baby, it kills me to see you like this.” He says with a strained voice. His long hair tickles my face as he holds me tight. I keep moving my face away from his but he forces our cheeks to touch, I don’t have room to move.
I finally calm myself down enough to talk, “You danced with her…” I say softly still full of hurt. “You didn’t dance with me, you ignored me Caleb. You forgot I was even around, but you danced with her.”
A pained look comes across his face, he lets go of my hands and sits up still straddling me. He covers his face with his hands then moves it through his hair before letting out a deep breath.
“I fucked up baby. I handled the situation badly and I get that now Harley. I was surprised to see her there. She was supposed to be…” he pauses and looks away for a moment before continuing. His eyes find mine again as he speaks. “…she just wasn’t supposed to be in your fathers bar. And when I told Brent to stay away from her, I was saying that for his sake. She’s no good for him. We dated for a while but she knew my heart still belonged to you, she knew all about you baby. She and I ended things on good terms but the girl has too many issues, issues with her father and just personal shit she needed to deal with, she needed help but I couldn’t be her shoulder to cry on anymore, I needed space and I told her that. She said she was going to get help but she disappeared and tonight was the first time I’ve seen her since then. I didn’t dance with her, she dragged me along and I took the opportunity to talk to her alone.” His expression is sincere as he looks down at me, speaking as if it hurts to talk about it. “I’m not going to get into too much detail because it’s her shit to tell but you saw how high she was, right? I needed to confront her about it but I didn’t want to do it in front of everyone in case she caused a scene. I told her she needed to leave, that I don’t feel comfortable being around her when she is like that. I returned to the booth to apologise to you and that’s when the boys told me you were gone.” He rests his forehead against mine.
I close my eyes when his hair falls in my eyes.
“Fuck….I’m so sorry baby. I was so fixated on keeping her away from you that I didn’t realize I was ignoring you. She knows how much I love you but she’s unstable when she’s high and can be one mean bitch when she doesn’t get her way. I promise you Harley I didn’t mean to hurt you and I didn’t mean to ignore you either. You know I’d do anything to keep you.” His voice is full of pain.
I look into blue eyes that stare into my own in the dim room, he looks so fragile and I’m not used to seeing Caleb this way.
“Don’t…don’t ever treat me that way again Caleb, I can’t take it... I won’t. You don’t know what it felt like being ignored like that! It fucking hurt watching you two together. I don’t want to ever feel that way again!” My voice breaks as I firmly say the words. His face shows so much pain as he nods. He bends down and kisses my nose ever so softly, then slides his nose down my cheek and presses his lips to mine.
He’s so close that I can feel his warm breath against my lips. I’m still so angry with him but I just can’t resist considering his closeness. My one hand softly moves to the back of his head and slides through his hair as I bring his lips down to meet mine. I can feel the sheet being pulled in his fists as he squeezes the linen but the tense muscles in his shoulders and upper back relax under my touch.
My other hand goes to the bottom of his shirt; I place it underneath and feel his soft skin tense from my cold fingers. I run my hands up his ribs, over the muscles and toward his chest underneath his black shirt. He breaks his lips from mine and sits up. I miss the weight and warmth of his body on top of mine immediately but to my delight he tugs off his shirt, throwing it on the floor then drops his lips back to mine. He runs his tongue against my lips and when I don’t open my mouth and let him in, his hand moves to my jaw and he gently motions for me to open wide.
I do.
He leans on both of his elbows, shielding me in his embrace. I move my hands up the muscles on his lower back then rest both of them around his neck forcing his body to lean closer into me.
He moans.
“Off.” He mumbles into my mouth.
“Huh?” I take a breath removing my lips from his. I look up at him confused.
He brings his one hand down to the bottom of my shirt as he takes me in for another kiss, he tugs on my shirt.
“Off.” He repeats as he removes his mouth from mine.
I don’t break the kiss when he sits up and scoots away instead I sit up with my lips still attached to his. I sit on my knees and give him a lingering kiss then pull off my shirt. He starts taking off his pants and of course he’s commando underneath.
My eyes widen when I see how excited he really is. Little butterflies twirl inside me.
I do a silent thank you Jesus in my head before our bodies clash again. He doesn’t waste any time pulling my underwear down my legs so that his firm muscular warm body is the only thing I feel against mine.
Skin to skin.
I’m so thankful I’m on the pill right now; I don’t want anything between us.
This has been a long time coming so I allow the anger to fade as I focus my attention on him, the anticipation making me tremble with impatience.
He leans me down gently on the bed and covers my body with his.
“You’re so beautiful baby. I’ve missed touching you… being this close.” He whispers as he kisses me down my jaw, neck and toward my breasts. I’ve missed the gentle way he would speak to me when we were intimate. We might not have been that adventurous in our younger years but he would always whisper his appreciation for me while we made love, I’m so glad that hasn’t changed over the four years.
I let out a whimper when he licks my nipple then he moves across to the other, sucking on it soft and lightly. I lift my chest up into him as I close my eyes and feel the little strokes of his tongue.
I wrap one leg over his back, my foot resting on his firm bottom, I pull him as much as I can against me, making sure he knows just how ready I am.
I’m impatient but I don’t care. I need him.
He continues to nip and suck, his one hand rests on my upper thigh before lifting it so it joins the other leg already wrapped around his waist, opening me fully for him. I feel him at my entrance, ready to go.
“I can’t wait any longer...” he says hoarsely.
“I don’t want you to.” I say out breathlessly and he doesn’t waste another single moment.
He gently moves to lower himself into me, no
guidance needed. His body knows mine just as well as his own. I gasp feeling him fully seated inside. His mouth takes mine, this time harder, rougher and its pure need. His body moves faster, I cross my legs over his lower back so both are now wrapped tight around him, bringing him impossibly closer to me. He grabs both my hands, leans over and entwines our fingers as he looks down at me and pushes harder, rocking into me. His groans and my moans continue as we look at each other.
He shakes his head, smiles and then kisses me once again.
“You there baby?” he whispers as he tugs on my ear with his teeth before leaving a soft kiss just underneath.
“I’m there.” I say breathlessly and boy oh boy am I there. I clutch onto him feeling his body tense and shudder over me, inside me.
His release only fuelling my own!
His body stills above mine and he moves to look down at my face. A loving smile spreads then he leans down and gently kisses my nose.
I smile.
He bends down to whisper in my ear. The house is empty so I’m not sure why we feel the need to whisper, but we do.
“I love you Harlz.” He nuzzles my neck still not moving his body out of mine.
I wrap my arms around his torso and squeeze. “I Love you too.” I whisper.
He carries me to the bathroom and I shower again, this time Caleb’s right there with me, never leaving my side.
We make love again twice more through the night and I wake up to him between my legs.
Let’s just say...best-morning-ever!
He pours me a bubble bath in the morning and we spend the rest of the day lying in each other’s arms talking about what each of us missed out on these past couple years.
He tells me a lot but I can’t help but feel that there’s something he isn’t sharing.
Chapter 4
“Mommy?” Willow asks. I turn from where I’m kneeled on her bedroom floor helping her put all her toys in her little trunk.
“Yes baby?” I continue putting away the last of the toys.
She hesitates a moment, “Why did Jacey have to say goodbye? Where’s he going? I’m going to see him again right?” she doesn’t look at me while saying this instead she moves her little motorbike around on the floor.
My body tenses, afraid of the answer to the question I’m about to ask.
“Willow, when did you see Jace?”
She looks up from her toys, “When I went to Gramps lake house. Jace was there. He said he has to go away for a long time but he wanted me to know that he loves me very much.”
“What?” I hear Caleb’s stiff voice from the doorway. My head whips around to see his livid face.
“Baby, why don’t you go and see what Brent’s up to downstairs?” I tell Willow knowing that her daddy is about to blow a gasket and I don’t want his anger to frighten her.
She quickly runs out of the room with her toy in hand. I stand up and look at him.
I put both hands up. “I know, okay. I’m going to speak to them about this. They know I don’t want her around him.”
He nods his head avoiding my eyes, I can tell he’s trying to watch his words and restrain himself. All he says is, “You make sure you do that. I’ll deal with him.”
Then he turns and walks out the room.
I trail close behind full of confusion.
“What do you mean, you’ll deal with him? What are you going to do? You’re not going near him Caleb!” I close our bedroom door behind me. Caleb looks though his drawers till he finds a shirt, slamming the drawers closed harshly.
“What?” he raises an eyebrow. “Don’t want me to fuck up lover boy?” he says sarcastically. I freeze at his childish behaviour and look up at him with a frown. I don’t know what crawled up his ass all of a sudden.
“I said I’ll fix it.” I repeat deadpan.
“No Harley. I don’t know what your issue is with him but he fucked up big time. Why does he always get off lightly? Brent told me all the shit he put you through over the years, yet you always allowed that unstable bastard back in and near our daughter. Why is that?” he shouts a little louder watching the door as he does making sure Willow doesn’t come in.
His questions leave me at a loss for words. I don’t even know how to respond to that. How do I defend myself when I don’t even have the answers? I know he’s right and that’s the problem. So I don’t respond and he takes this as a cue to continue.
“Don’t expect me to go easy on him either. He fucked up and he needs to know that I’m with you now. You and Willow are mine. Got it? Mine. He’s not going to get the opportunity to sweep in and take you from me again. I watched him carry you away four years ago and I won’t allow it to happen again. I was weak then, I wouldn’t have stood a chance against him… but now? Well shits changed... I’m not so useless and I’m going to make sure he knows it.” He grabs his cell phone and heads for the door without waiting for my response.
I let out a deep breath not knowing what to think or say. God knows I have a soft spot for Jace, even after the shit he put me through, I don’t know why but I just do. He was there throughout my pregnancy, okay...I know he hurt me most of the time but he always came back and fought for me.
I would never tell Caleb this but sometimes when Jace would hold me and put his protective hands over my baby bump when he slept next to me, I would imagine it was Caleb doing it. I’ll never repeat it out loud though and if that makes me a coward then so be it. It wasn’t that I felt sorry for Jace but I just couldn’t shake him loose, the fact that he was so devastatingly attractive didn’t help and that definitely should not be a reason for any woman to stay with a man who treats you terribly. I wouldn’t want that for Willow or any other woman. I grew to love Jace during my loneliness and I still care for him but the truth is Jace and I would never work. I only see Caleb in my future.
There’s no doubt I loved him but not the way he loves me. I love Hunter, Jesse and Brent too but I’m in love with Caleb. My heart belongs to him and always will.
Love is love and although I know Jace loves me in his own strange way, to me… the love he feels isn’t the same love I feel for Caleb. You’re not supposed to hurt the ones you love, right?
Well Jace continuously set out to hurt me. You don’t treat someone you love the way he treated me.
Okay… okay… so Caleb cheated on me with my best friend but the look of regret that clung to his face when he saw me standing there is still etched into my memory, no matter how many times I caught Jace messing around ....not once did he give me that look.
I mean seriously, although we weren’t official yet that first time I heard him having sex with another woman, it still hurt and he knew how hurt I was but it still took him a day to apologise. He saw nothing wrong with the fact that he told me I was his when the same didn’t apply to him. Whatever, all of that doesn’t matter now either way.
I’m with the man I’m supposed to be with. I finally have my family together and I couldn’t be happier. I hope one day Jace finds that happiness too and realizes that what he thought was love is nothing compared to what true love feels like.
I grab my car keys, give Willow a kiss on the forehead and tell Brent I’ll be back soon. The conversation I’m about to have needs to be done face to face.
I head over to my father’s garage; I know he’s working this afternoon on one of the trucks. The entire drive to Daddy’s workshop my mind races trying to form a speech but I’m too mad and I have too much to say to him right now.
I climb out the car and slam the door closed. A few guys working on a car look up just in time to see my scowl. I march straight passed them.
“Pretty girl looks just like her daddy when she’s angry.” Toby, one of the older men says with a chuckle.
“Not now Toby.” I lift my palm up in warning as I continue to walk.
I find my father in his office, Anna sitting there chatting with him, both of them all smiles until they see my face.
“What the hell is wrong with y
ou?” I yell at my father knowing he was the one to let Jace near my daughter. Anna wouldn’t overstep, she knows how I feel about the situation.
CALEB POV
That’s it! I should’ve dealt with this fucker the minute I got Harley back. Her damn father said he dealt with the issue and I wasn’t needed. Clearly I am needed. Grimm had no right letting that bastard near my baby girl.
I stop at the club house and walk into the bar. Its late afternoon and there’s only a few bikers in the club lounging around with some of the girls.
I spot Hunter the minute I walk in. You can’t miss the huge dude.
Hunter’s been to my house a couple times since we met. In the beginning I was unsure of his relationship with Harley. But the guy has never once disrespected me when it comes to her and he doesn’t look at her the way other guys do… Hell, even Brent shamelessly checks my woman out, but not Hunter, he’s too respectful for that shit.
Anyone can see the love he has for my girls and that shit is solid. He’ll do anything for them and for that I respect him. He’s a tough guy, not a man of many words but don’t let that fool you, Hunter is one clever yet intimidating fucker. He is also Jace’s best friend and because of this I was a little cautious around him at first but he made sure to tell me that he gave Jace one hell of a hiding after the bastard took Harley. I felt a little better hearing that come from him.
Hunter sits in one of the booths surrounded by men that have girls hanging all over them. Of course no girl dares to go near him and he’s never brought a girl to our place. I have never actually ever seen him with one either, only girls he hangs with are Harley, Anna and Willow. Jesse told me that Hunter keeps to himself most of the time, he doesn’t like to be touched and even though Jesse would “totally do him”, Hunter is not gay.
So I don’t know what issues the dude has but he certainly has them. Jesse even went on to tell me that one night one of the new whores decided to climb on his lap. Hunter threw a rage and the brothers had to hold him down, he was determined to cut a bitch…Jesse’s words.
A Broken Beautiful Beginning Page 6