Gods and Demons in Love

by Claudette Gilbert

  *****

  Nate Lee

  I was going to see Silk again today. Just the thought of her made me smile. She was so strong, so brave. Just as Laheese had been strong and brave when faced with betrayal by her tribe. But I had helped her take her revenge on them, and I would give Silk her heart's desire as well.

  I frowned, suddenly divided. I had faithfully fulfilled my promise to Laheese. Generation after generation, I had given each of her daughters and her daughters' daughters their heart's desire. And generation after generation, my gift had destroyed them. What was Silk's desire, and what would it do to her? And why did I care? I was Nate Lee who never had been a man!

  Ah, but there she was in a swirl of turquoise cloth; dark, intelligent eyes shining; hair unbound in a gleaming tumble down her back. Everyone else in the room faded to nothing in her presence.

  She crossed to me with rapid, decisive steps, a broad smile on her face.

  "Nathan, you're early."

  "I couldn't wait for you any longer," I told her, falling easily into the personality I'd created just for her. And as I spoke, I realized that it was true. I'd missed her, even though we'd been apart only a day.

  I would have to show her what I truly was, and it would have to be soon, before I was totally lost. Once Silk understood, I would grant her heart's desire, and that would be the end. At long last, the end.

  So, why did the prospect of freedom leave me feeling flat?

  Silk sat down across from me in the booth that I had kept for us. She chattered about the small details of her day, complaining about the bureaucracy that held her back, bragging about the latest discovery she'd made in the archives. It was all meaningless to me. I was interested only in hearing the sound of her voice. I let the words flow over me like cool water and drank in the reality of her. We had something to eat. I didn't notice what. We drank. I suppose it was wine.

  Her lips were pink and natural, without the coating of red grease that so many of the women here wore. She'd conceded enough to fashion to have had holes pierced in her ears, and she'd hung little silver hoops through them. Ear rings, yes. They sparkled in the light. Her arms were rounded with smooth muscle, and her breasts were two perfect mounds. I had been playing the part of Nathan for too long. I could not look away from her.

  "You aren't listening to a word I say," she accused.

  "Yes, I am," I protested. I played back her conversation in my head. "You found a report in the archives that proves the Dirov Clan joined the Ushan after the big battle for the peninsula. That's great work!"

  "True," she agreed, her eyes narrowed, frowning at me.

  What had I done wrong?

  "But, Nathan, that was what I told you last week, not today."

  "Oh." I'd lost track of time. Humans were so fussy about breaking it into ever more minute increments. What did it matter if she'd found the manuscript last week or today? It was just another piece of trash documenting a meaningless war. But I didn't want her to be angry with me. We weren't done yet.

  "I'm sorry," I said and made a contrite face. "Sweetheart, a lot of what you do just goes right over my head. I guess I'm just not the intellectual type."

  It worked. She smiled. Silk was vain about her academic accomplishments.

  "That's okay," she said. "You have other virtues."

  I laughed. I wasn't sure why. But I'd managed to please her, and that made the part of me that was Nathan happy.

  "Have you had any luck finding work?" she asked.

  I shook my head back and forth the way the locals did. "No, nothing yet. Not unless I want to enlist."

  She took my hand and squeezed it hard. "Please, don't do that!"

  "If you say so."

  Nathan was a very agreeable fellow, nothing like Nate Lee at all. But Nathan embodied everything Silk desired, whether she knew it or not.

  "I could probably get passage on a freighter out of here on a work for a berth basis," I said, leading her deeper into the trap. "But sweetheart, I'd miss you."

  "Oh. You'd leave?"

  "I don't want to, but a man's gotta pay his way. I can't afford to stay at the inn at the port much longer."

  Would she take the bait? I watched quietly as Silk thought the problem through. I'd taken more care with this last daughter than with any other. I wanted to be certain that she was indeed the very last of the line of my beloved Laheese. I wanted to know her well enough to be sure that there were no more abandoned, forgotten daughters, such as this woman whom old Razor had sprung on me. And Nathan, that poor, mortal-seeming portion of myself, Nathan was falling in love with Silk.

  I looked down at the ruby I wore on my hand. I'd turned the stone inward so that it faced my palm. Silk didn't like to see it, but I did. It made me remember who and what I truly was. It helped me to be strong.

  Silk cleared her throat, as if she were having trouble finding the right words. Silk at a loss for words? Her cheeks were pink, and her gaze was anywhere but on my face. With some amusement, I realized that she was embarrassed.

  "You could stay with me," she offered.

  Even I could barely make out the words above the noise of the restaurant. But I pretended she'd spoken clearly and well. After all, this was what I'd been working towards.

  "With you, Silk? Stay at your place?"

  This had to be her choice. It was beyond my power to force one of the far daughters of Laheese to do anything she didn't want to do.

  "It's not much," she said, suddenly shy. "Just a little apartment near the school where I teach, but there's room enough for two . . . if you don't mind sharing a bed."

  I let Nathan's delighted grin spread across my face.