Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo

by Obert Skye

  Officer Keane cleared his voice. “We’re sorry to bother you, but do you know a Terrell Hillary Graph?”

  “I don’t know anyone . . . you mean Terry?” Dennis asked.

  “Perhaps,” Officer Elma answered. “He was staying in the room next door.”

  “Yes,” Dennis said cautiously. “That’s Terry.”

  “And Adelia Wilbury Graph?” Officer Keane asked.

  “Addy,” Dennis answered, an awful feeling coming up in his throat like a sour meal.

  “There’s been an accident,” Officer Keane said. “Very late last night.”

  “An accident?” Dennis asked, wishing he could sit down.

  “From what we can put together,” Officer Keane explained, “and we’re still going over eyewitness reports, but it was real dark, and according to one source Terrell and Adelia were driving down the interstate, swerved to . . . um, hit a stray dog, and ran headfirst into a semi truck delivering adult undergarments.”

  “Diapers,” Officer Elma added.

  “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they didn’t make it,” Officer Keane clarified. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  Dennis couldn’t believe it. He stood there with his mouth hanging open.

  “Say something,” Ezra hissed.

  “I can’t believe it,” Dennis finally said. “How did you find me?”

  “There were a few things that survived,” Officer Elma answered, nodding towards their patrol car.

  Dennis looked at the cop car.

  “We traced Terrell and Adelia to this motel,” Officer Elma continued. “The clerk told us you were an acquaintance of theirs.”

  “Ask them about the robe,” Ezra whispered.

  Dennis waved Ezra away as if he were scratching his own left cheek.

  “Are you okay?” Officer Keane asked, concerned.

  “Just itchy,” Dennis answered.

  Ezra put his right hand over his single eye and sighed.

  “It has been dry,” Officer Elma said. “How well did you know them?”

  “We . . . I didn’t know them well,” Dennis said sadly. “They gave me a ride.”

  “Do you know if they had family?” Officer Elma asked.

  Dennis was about to mention Leven, but Ezra’s persistent hissing stopped him.

  “No,” Dennis answered. “I don’t think they did.”

  “The license plate on their car was from Oklahoma,” Officer Keane said. “Is that home?”

  “I think so,” Dennis said, rubbing his bald head. “I think it was home for them.”

  “Ask him about the robe,” Ezra demanded in a whisper.

  Dennis ignored Ezra. “It’s just so sad.”

  “Again,” Officer Keane said, “sorry to be the bearer of bad news. If you have any other information that might help us track down family or friends of theirs, please let us know.”

  Officer Keane turned to his partner and she pulled a business card from her front shirt pocket and handed it to Dennis.

  “And if you remember anything immediately, we’ll be right next door getting a cup of coffee at Denny’s.”

  “Thanks,” Dennis said, closing the door.

  Dennis leaned against the closed door and hung his head. He breathed in deep and then exhaled, trying to blow away the heavy feeling in the room.

  Ezra looked at him.

  “I can’t believe it,” Dennis said sadly.

  “I know,” Ezra agreed. “Terry’s middle name was Hillary?”

  Dennis stared at Ezra in disbelief. “You are the worst person I know.”

  “Then why do you stick around?” Ezra asked.

  Dennis looked around the room and then back at Ezra.

  “Because I’m probably the second worst,” Dennis answered. “This is horrible—one minute they’re alive and the next they’re gone. It’s so sad.”

  “I know,” Ezra said. “We needed that robe.”

  “You’re the worst person,” Dennis scolded.

  “Well, you’re the second worst,” Ezra mocked. “And if you were capable of any real malice you would’ve asked where the robe was.”

  “I didn’t need to,” Dennis said sadly.

  “What do you mean?” Ezra barked. “We needed that robe.”

  “No,” Dennis explained. “I didn’t need to ask because I could see it in the back of their squad car.”

  “Fantastic,” Ezra laughed. “Those goobers left the car while they’re getting coffee.”

  “I’m not breaking into a police car,” Dennis argued.

  “I can’t do it!” Ezra screamed. “I’ve only got one leg.”

  “You’ve got two,” Dennis growled. “One’s just metal.”

  “What a nob,” Ezra yelled. “I’d kill you if I were taller. We have to get that robe.”

  “I’ll check if their car door’s unlocked,” Dennis said. “But we can’t just break into a police car.”

  “So that’s the extent of what you’ll do?” Ezra sniffed. “Bold—no wonder you ended up where you did.”

  Dennis blew off Ezra’s response and opened the motel door. He looked out carefully. There were only four other vehicles in the parking lot aside from the police car.

  Dennis could see the Denny’s next door. He could also see through the windows. The two cops were currently sitting at the bar with their backs towards the glass.

  Dennis slipped out of the room and walked up to the police car. He could see the robe sitting in a box next to the back window.

  “Try the door!” Ezra yelled.

  Dennis bent down as if tying shoelaces on his bare feet. As he stood back up he grabbed the car door handle and pulled.

  It was locked.

  Dennis stood up straight and looked back towards the motel door.

  “Try the other doors!” Ezra ordered.

  Dennis reached for the other door and yanked the handle quickly. It too was locked, and so were the two doors on the other side of the car. Dennis turned and headed back into the motel room.

  “Get back out there,” Ezra commanded. “If you can’t do this, what good are you?”

  “The doors are locked.”

  “Thank goodness you aren’t in charge of anything really important,” Ezra sneered. “I want to get to Foo, and we might not be able to do that without that robe.”

  “It’s a police car,” Dennis argued.

  “It’s a police car,” Ezra mimicked. “What’s that thing at the top of your neck, anyway?”

  Ezra jumped out of the motel room and hobbled with remarkable speed up to the rear right tire of the squad car. He climbed up the tire tread and onto the top of the wheel. From there he swung out and grabbed ahold of the gas tank door and then inched up onto the bottom edge of the back window.

  Ezra tapped rapidly against the glass with the top of his head.

  It did nothing.

  Ezra began to scratch at the glass with his metal leg.

  “Someone’s going to see you,” Dennis warned, stepping up to the car and leaning down to whisper to Ezra.

  “Someone’s going to see you and wonder if you could possibly be any paler,” Ezra insulted him. “This isn’t working. Break the window.”

  “No,” Dennis said.

  “When are you getting a spine implant?” Ezra said, disgusted. “I’m going in.”

  “What?”

  “I’m going in.”

  Ezra jabbed his head into the seal beneath the back door window. He burrowed into the seal, wriggling and working his way down into the door’s insides.

  “What are you doing?” Dennis whispered with concern.

  Ezra didn’t answer—he was far too busy crawling through the door’s innards.

  “This is so stupid,” Dennis complained. “There’s no way you can get in there.”

  Ezra appeared in the backseat of the squad car. He looked out of the window towards Dennis. He smiled, but it wasn’t a friendly, next-door-neighbor type of smile. It was more like a deranged,

>   I-can’t-wait-to-berate-you type of smile.

  Ezra climbed up into the back window and pulled the dark

  purple robe out of a shallow open box. The robe was charred and wrinkled, but it looked to be mostly intact.

  Ezra slowly dragged the robe across the backseat and up to the door. He looked around for a latch to open the door. Dennis could see him scream something, but he couldn’t hear him clearly through the glass.

  “There’s no way to unlock it from inside!” Dennis shouted through the glass. “It’s a police car. Just get out. They’ll be coming back.”

  Ezra gestured wildly.

  “I can’t hear you,” Dennis screamed back. “Get out.”

  Ezra continued to mouth the same thing over and over: “Break the glass.”

  “I’m not breaking the glass,” Dennis insisted. “Get out.”

  Dennis could see inside the coffee shop. The cops were getting up from their bar stools and moving towards the front of the restaurant.

  “Get out!” Dennis yelled. “They’re coming.”

  Ezra just kept mouthing, “Break the glass,” over and over.

  The cops were almost out of the restaurant. Dennis looked around angrily. He spotted a good-sized rock sitting in the sad-

  looking motel landscaping. He picked up the rock and knocked it against the window. A large crack spread across the glass.

  “Harder,” Ezra mouthed.

  Dennis pulled back and slammed the rock into the window again. The glass pushed inward and shattered over the backseat and on top of Ezra. Dennis reached in and grabbed the robe. He pulled it out, extracting both the robe and Ezra, who was clinging to its edge.

  “They’re coming,” Ezra screamed.

  Dennis tossed the robe under the police car.

  “Hey!” Officer Keane yelled. “Hold up there.”

  Dennis stood up straight.

  Both officers ran across the parking lot and up to the squad car. Officer Elma looked at the shattered window and pulled out her gun.

  “What happened?” Officer Keane asked frantically.

  Dennis shook slightly.

  “Did you see anyone?” Officer Elma asked.

  “There was a guy,” Dennis said.

  “A guy?” Officer Elma said, putting her gun back into her holster and pulling out a pen and pad. “Anything else?”

  “He was tall,” Dennis offered.

  “This neighborhood’s going to the dogs,” she growled.

  “I know, and it used to be so nice. Of course, the whole world is falling apart,” Officer Keane tisked. “Did you see his face?”

  Dennis shook his head.

  “What was he wearing?” Officer Elma asked.

  Dennis looked down at himself. “A white shirt and tan pants.”

  “No-good punk,” Officer Keane cursed.

  Officer Elma’s radio sounded. She pushed a button and responded by shouting out some numbers.

  “We gotta go,” Officer Keane translated. “More trouble on the interstate. You have our card.”

  The two cops hopped into their damaged squad car and pulled out of the parking lot with their lights blazing, not noticing the robe they had been parked over.

  Dennis just stood there.

  After thirty seconds Ezra crawled out from under the robe.

  “Wow,” Ezra laughed. “You’re quite the criminal. You had no problem giving your own self up. What a useless wad.”

  “I was just being honest. Besides, I got you out of the car,” Dennis reminded him.

  “I got me out,” Ezra replied. “You just wielded a rock when I told you to.”

  Dennis picked up the robe and looked at the material. The deep purple color was as rich and textured as a Magic Eye puzzle. Dennis felt that if he stared at the fabric long enough he’d be able to see patterns and pictures that were not visible to the naked eye.

  “Terry and Addy are gone,” Dennis said seriously.

  “Then you’ve got some practicing to do,” Ezra said coldly. “Put the robe on.”

  “What?”

  “Put the robe on.”

  “It belongs to Terry.” Dennis’s voice was melancholy.

  “He won’t be wearing it ever again,” Ezra sneered. “Now put it on.”

  “A little respect,” Dennis said.

  “Why?” Ezra asked. “You’ve never done anything to deserve it.”

  “I think I like you better when you’re all girlie inside.”

  Ezra poked Dennis on his right bare foot.

  “Owww.”

  “Put it on.”

  Dennis slid on the robe. It felt warm and comfortable and it complemented his white shirt and wrinkle-free pants perfectly.

  “I never noticed you were so tall,” Ezra said with amazement.

  “It’s the robe.”

  “Wow!” Ezra exclaimed. “It really improves your image.”

  Dennis bent down and reached out his right arm. Ezra jumped into his hand. Dennis looked over at the room where Terry and Addy had once stayed.

  “It’s just so weird,” he said softly.

  “I know,” Ezra said, amazed. “I never thought there was any way to improve your image.”

  “No, that they’re gone.” Dennis shook his head and carried the mean and angry toothpick into the motel room and shut the door.

  It is easy to say that Addy and Terry had it coming to them—that their mistakes and wrongdoings ultimately did them in. But those words don’t change the fact that two lives were now gone. Gone was the chance for Terry and Addy to realize what they had done and the opportunity to make peace with it. Gone was the option to make the world a better place instead of leaving it worse off. Gone was the possibility that someday Leven might be able to show his rotten guardians what he had become.

  Ultimately, however, Terry and Addy were just plain gone.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Evil in a Vest

  Leven had to blink several times to make sure his eyes were working properly. He focused on the man and tried to make sense of it.

  “That’s the Dearth?” Winter whispered.

  “It can’t be,” Leven whispered back.

  Geth moved to the front of the cage and stared intently at the being Azure had just introduced. He was a short, older man who wore a soft smile and a quaint English cap. The hair showing above his ears was neat and gray, and even in the low light his deep blue eyes could be seen. He had on corduroy pants and a plaid vest over a button-down shirt with rolled-up sleeves. He looked like the kind of person you might find sitting in a pub working on a crossword puzzle on a warm afternoon.

  “Good day,” the Dearth said with a British accent.

  All three just stared at him.

  “Who are you?” Leven finally asked. “Because you’re not the Dearth.”

  “Smart lad,” the Dearth spoke. “But you see, I most certainly am. Leave us for a moment, would you please, Azure?”

  Azure walked away and the Dearth stepped closer to the cage.

  “You can’t be,” Leven argued. “You were all black and oozy, and there was that pus.”

  “Please,” the Dearth spoke. “Do you think I would present myself to Reality looking like that? And forgive me for losing myself the last time we spoke. It’s not often that I’m taken by surprise. I was weaker then. Things are much different now. Just look at me.”

  “I can’t believe it,” Leven said.

  “We’ve done our research,” the Dearth said, smiling.

  “Research?” Geth said, disgusted.

  “It seems that older men wearing vests and speaking with accents are among the most universally trusted beings. When I walk out into Reality, they will see a harmless old man who is simply happy to be free from Foo. I will smile and thank them and they will freely allow all those behind me to flow into Reality. Only after we’ve moved enough beings out will I show my true self and enslave any who choose to fight against me.”

  The Dearth’s bare feet wriggled
and oozed into the dirt. A small mound of dirt rose up behind him and created a place for him to sit.

  The Dearth sat.

  “I don’t understand,” Leven said.

  “Of course you don’t,” the Dearth said mildly. “Let me explain.”

  “I don’t care,” Leven said, throwing up his hands. “You can take the shape of a basket full of kittens and talk about dirt all day, but just tell me where Clover is.”

  “Ah . . . I’m very sorry ’bout that,” the Dearth spoke. “But you must put the sycophant from your mind, please—’tis the folly of man to care more for their pets than their own blood.”

  “Clover’s not my pet.”

  “No, no, not anymore,” the Dearth said sadly.

  “Where is he?” Winter demanded, tears coming to her eyes. “If he’s dead, we want to see him.”

  “Ah, Winter,” the Dearth said softly. “You have become quite lovely. I thought you to be a child, and yet you stand there like a woman.”

  Winter’s green eyes dimmed as she blushed.

  “And Geth,” the Dearth continued. “How I wish I had someone with your pluck on my side. You have been put through the hoops and still you stand there proud and determined to do your duty. Admirable—stupid, but admirable.”

  “You know it won’t work,” Geth said. “Foo won’t fail.”

  The Dearth stared at Geth and spoke in a measured tone. “Even now I can see it in your eyes, Geth. For the first time you realize that just maybe you are wrong and that Foo, alas, is doomed.”

  The words were most damaging to Leven and Winter.

  “Look,” the Dearth said. “Look at these two. My, how they put stock in what you say. Don’t falter, Geth—your sure footing gives them hope.”

  “This is crazy,” Leven said. “You can’t just march into Reality.”

  “I can and will,” the Dearth said cheerily.

  “They’ll stop you,” Geth said.

  “That’s the most interesting part,” the Dearth said. “There’s very little about you, Geth, that I don’t know. For example, your body has been in a state of flux. Growing and shrinking back and forth. You’re aware that part of you is missing, and well, that part is in Reality helping me to ultimately destroy Foo. Even now, what’s left of Sabine is trying to get the attention of your missing piece. And they’ll soon convince thousands of what they should do when I come through.”