Head Start (Cedar Tree #7)

by Freya Barker

  I glance at the clock on my dashboard, hoping like hell I won’t run into any traffic on my way back from Durango. Naomi was supposed to drive Kendra to Cortez to get her cast removed, and I’m rushing to meet them. I’d wanted to take her, but Kendra wasn’t about to let me skip a session at the veterans’ clinic. Probably because after the last one, I told her I thought I might be ready to share my story. Today was my third time going and the things some of the others had shared before, as well as the group’s reaction to them, showed me it was safe for me to open up. Veterans of all ages, from all backgrounds, none of whom had been able to leave combat behind completely for a variety of reasons. It was the common monster in the room. It had taken two individual sessions to be deemed ready for the group and by that time I felt wrung out. But now, after sitting through two, just observing and listening, I was ready to jump in. And I did. Although it wasn’t any easier than the previous times I’ve had to recount the story, it sure felt fucking great to only see nods of understanding around the room. So by the time I got to my truck, my shoulders felt lighter, and I was anxious to get to my girl.

  The quick call to Clint was only to make sure that by the time I bring Kendra home after her appointment, the house will be ready. She still doesn’t know I bought the place, let alone am making some changes, but I hope she’ll love it. I know the dog will be happy to have his fenced yard again. Malachi and Gus are bringing over the dog and our belongings, which Emma was going to pack up after Naomi picked Kendra up. This way, by the time we head back for Cedar Tree, we’ll be all moved in.

  Three weeks ago, Kendra had slowly started taking some of her patients back. Tom Bridges had been first in line. She told me she was waving her fee for him, feeling it was the least she could do. Little does she know that I’m working on my own plans to make sure Tom will not forget how grateful we are.

  The parking lot is full, and it takes me ten minutes of driving around to find a spot. I’m frustrated, because I was already cutting it thin and now I’m most definitely late.

  But when I make a beeline for the reception, I hear my name called, and I turn to find Kendra and Naomi still sitting in the waiting area.

  “He’s a little late,” Kendra informs me after I kiss her hello. “He had to check out an emergency that was brought in.” I settle in beside her on the couch when Naomi announces she has a patient to check on before heading back.

  “Unless you want me to stay,” she asks Kendra, who shakes her head.

  “No, go on. We’re not expecting any complications, right?”

  “Nope. As of the last look they had a few weeks ago, it seemed to be healing okay. He’ll suggest PT to help maximize mobility of that joint, but that’s your specialty, not mine.” She smiles and waves before heading off down the hall.

  Kendra puts her head on my shoulder and her hand in the middle of my chest. “How did it go?” she asks carefully. I could tell she was on pins and needles this morning, knowing I was planning to share today, so I quickly reassure her.

  “Well. Surprisingly well.” I press a kiss on her head.

  “Good. That’s really good.”

  I can hear the smile in her voice and feel some of the tension drain from her shoulders.

  There isn’t much of a chance to say much more, because Kendra gets called in. Grabbing my hand, she pulls me up. “You’re coming with.”

  -

  A little over an hour later, I take the turn off to our new house.

  “Hey, you’re taking the wrong turn,” Kendra, both her feet now in her preferred rubber flip-flops, points out.

  “I just want to have a look to see how the house is coming along.” I point at her cast-less foot. “I’m sure now that you are a free woman, you’ll want to move back in as soon as possible.”

  She doesn’t say anything else, but quietly stares out the window until we pull up in the driveway. “Holy shiznit! Look at it!” She unsnaps her seatbelt and is about to jump out of the cab when I manage to grab her arm.

  “Easy, Pup. Doesn’t seem like a good idea to jump on that ankle just yet,” I comment dryly. Kendra turns to me and sticks her tongue out, clearly not in the mood for teasing. “Let me give you a hand.”

  Kendra

  The new porch is beautiful. A brand new swing is hanging from the beams and instead of the old wooden railing, a gorgeous new wrought iron one is mounted on the extra wide deck boards. New, larger windows have been put in, and I can only imagine how much lighter it would make the living room. The yard is still a bit barren but I’m sure I’ll be able to plant some things now, and the rest maybe October. I’ll check with Katie, who has the green thumb.

  I have to admit, when Neil pointed out I was moving back soon, it took me by surprise. We’ve spent almost the entire past eight weeks together. We certainly had shared the same bed each night. It would be weird going back to each of us living in our own place. I hadn’t even thought about it before now, and honestly, it makes me a bit sad. I think mostly because of the matter of fact way he said it. Guess I’d assumed we’d live together even after life settled back down. Maybe he’s not in that place yet.

  “Want to go in?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Are you sure that’s okay? I mean, I don’t see any work trucks here but perhaps—“

  “Kendra, it’s fine. Come on.”

  Still on my crutches for another week, I hobble up the three steps to the porch and find Neil already has the door open. With a grand gesture, he waves me in and although the stairs to my right don’t appear to have changed, to my left it is a completely new house. I slap my hands over my mouth when I see how bright, with windows on all three sides. The kitchen is visible from the front door and a beautiful gleaming L-shaped bar where the wall used to be, separates the workspace from the living space. Some of the kitchen cabinets have frosted panels and are lit from inside showing glassware and china. To my surprise, Neil’s furniture from his apartment fills the living space, and there is even a big bouquet of flowers sitting on his dining room table. I’m stunned. This place is ready for us to move in.

  I turn to Neil and see him watching me intently, a nervous little smile on his lips that I can’t quite place. “This is amazing. Just beautiful. I don’t understand. Your stuff...it’s here. I thought when you said I’d be moving in, you meant alone.”

  He takes a few steps closer and puts his hands on either side of my neck, leaning down to look me straight in the eyes. “You thought I’d just move back into my apartment? Alone? Not gonna happen, babe. You’re stuck with me.” I drop my forehead to his chest and feel the rumble in his chest as he chuckles. “There’s more,” he says.

  “More? But I thought the rest was not damaged.”

  “Well no, but Clint did some improvements while he was at it. Upstairs.”

  I’m glad the stairs only have five steps because I’m not feeling too stable with my crutches. Luckily he’s right behind me to catch me if I fall. It’s only a small landing upstairs, with the bedrooms on both sides, and the bathroom straight ahead, but something seems a little off on the configuration. I turn to Neil, who just nods in the direction of the bathroom door.

  “Oh my God,” I exclaim when I take in the completely new layout of what seems to be a much bigger bathroom than before. A lush corner tub is installed in the far left corner and straight ahead is a glass enclosed shower stall. To my right is the connecting door to the master and immediately on my left, against the wall, a new vanity with two sinks and mirrors. “How?” I manage, a little confused at the decidedly larger bathroom.

  “Moved the door a little and took out the small closet in the spare. Come look,” he says, putting his arm around my shoulders. The spare bedroom only holds a small desk, what looks to be my double bed, and in front of where the closet used to be stands a shelving unit. “There’s room for a dresser,” Neil assures me before turning us around and heading for the master bedroom. The only thing that’s changed in here is the bed. Neil’s bigger, and
admittedly more comfortable one sits against the far wall. But when he opens the walk-in closet, I’m surprised to see both our clothes hanging neatly on hangers. A million questions run through my head but before I can formulate even one, Neil sinks on his knees in front of me. “Emma packed,” he explains. “And the guys moved everything over.” Suddenly he’s on his feet, swearing under his breath as he stalks to the door. “Stay put, I forgot something,” he says before disappearing downstairs.

  I hear the opening and closing of a door and then very familiar nails clicking up the stairs. “Chaos!” I call the big black lug of a dog who comes barreling through the doorway. With one, rather uncoordinated leap, he lands on the bed with his legs up in the air for a belly rub. Neil follows slower and watches us from the doorway, a small smile on his face as I indulge our dog and scratch his belly.

  “Forgot Gus left him outside,” he says as he walks toward the bed and sits down on the edge. “Now where was I?”

  “You were about to tell me how you pulled off this amazing surprise,” I tell him, abandoning the dog and sneaking up behind Neil, draping myself over his shoulders, my arms around his neck. He twists in the bed so his back can lean against the headboard before pulling me onto his lap.

  “Just a bit of help from our friends and some planning.”

  “Uh-huh. And what about the bathroom? The downstairs, my God...why would they go to such lengths for a rental place?” I see a small muscle twitch in his cheek. “Neil?”

  “It’s not exactly a rental place anymore,” he confesses and it doesn’t take long for me to clue in.

  “You didn’t,” I whisper, pushing myself off his lap.

  “There’s room for us to build further to the back, and we have the basement we can utilize,” he continues as if I hadn’t spoken.

  Neil

  Oh man.

  I’m pretty sure I fucked the toaster on this one. Her face is a mask of disbelief and I don’t know what else to do but to push ahead and lay it all out.

  “I was looking for something anyway, Pup, when you moved here. And I loved this house so much. Then I finally had my shot with you... It seemed perfect. If you don’t like it, I can—”

  “Shut up,” she says softly and repeats louder. “Shut up.”

  Taken aback, I sit back and wait for the blow out. I watch her bend her head and release a few deep breaths before she looks up again, tears pooling in her eyes.

  “It’s perfect,” she whispers as she climbs back on my lap. “I’ve run the gamut of emotions today, honey. Nervous about my appointment, nervous about how you were doing. I was worried you might not be at the hospital in time and I really wanted you there, except I didn’t want you to miss your session. I’ve been all over the place. Then thinking you were wanting to slow us down, just as I started catching up and then the house. My God, Neil, the house... It’s perfect.”

  I hold her as I feel all the pieces of my life sliding home.

  -

  Not sure how long we’ve been sitting like this, Kendra cuddled against my chest and the dog—who crawled closer to us on the bed, with his head on my leg—when I hear a knock and the front door opening.

  “Hello! Anybody home?”

  “Mom?” Kendra mumbles as she sits up and Chaos jumps down to check out the visitor.

  “Surprise!” That’s Emma’s voice, and I remember she’d mentioned something about coming by after we’ve had a chance to settle in. Make that visitors then.

  “Told you they’d prefer to celebrate by themselves, Peach.” Gus’s deep voice can be heard scolding his wife.

  “Nonsense,” Elsa pipes up, and I feel Kendra’s body shaking in my lap. She’s laughing.

  “Fuck me,” I mutter, shaking my head.

  “Why’s everyone standing in the doorway? The rest of us would like to come in too. Move!” And that is Arlene. By the sound of it, Emma has rounded up just about the entire population of Cedar Tree and beyond. Kendra just sits in my lap, giggling her ass off.

  “We should go downstairs.” She hiccups. “Before they send Arlene up as reconnaissance. Or worse, my mother.”

  I groan getting off the bed. “Fine. Sooner we get this shindig over with, the sooner we can crawl back in our peaceful bubble.”

  Still on her knees on the bed, Kendra reaches up and pulls me down by the neck. “Don’t be grumpy. I promise to make it up to you later,” she says, her lips brushing mine.

  “Gonna keep you to that,” I mumble, my mouth already slanting to fit over hers. My tongue slides between her lips and instantly the kiss turns heated with Kendra’s hands slipping under my shirt and clawing at my back. My girl is needy.

  “They’re up here!” Arlene hollers down from the bedroom door before turning just her eyes on us. “And they’re getting a head start on christening their new home!”

  “Arlene!” Seb’s voice sounds from the bottom of the stairs. “Get your ass back down here, Spot. They’ll show up when they’re good and ready.”

  Arlene huffs loudly but turns around and stomps down the stairs. We can just hear her say, “party-pooper” sending both Kendra and I into fits of laughter.

  Instead of letting Kendra struggle down the steps, I end up carrying her down, her crutches in her hand. The place is packed with people. Clint is showing Beth around the kitchen, getting shoved out of the way when Emma and Seb start spreading out food on the new kitchen bar. Fox and Joe come walking in carrying crates of beer, and Naomi follows behind with a potted plant.

  “You knew too?” Kendra accuses her when she spots the plant. Naomi just smiles and shrugs walking to the coffee table and setting the plant in the middle.

  I set Kendra on the couch next to Kim, and she’s instantly absorbed by the baby bundle Mal’s wife places in her arms. Elsa slips beside Kendra on her other side, shoving me out of the way. Dismissed. I just shake my head and accept the beer Malachi hands me with a big smile on his face.

  “What did you think?” he asks with an eyebrow raised. “Saying okay to any of these women when they propose briefly popping in, is like consenting to a mosh pit in your living room.”

  “I heard that,” Kim’s head pops up from the baby-huddle on the couch.

  “You know I’m not lying, Nizhóní,” her husband shoots back. Kim just rolls her eyes and dives back into the cluster of women around Kendra.

  “I’ve got the meat,” Caleb’s voice sounds from the door. He’s behind Katie who is trying to hang on to their son Mattias. The little guy has spotted his favorite two people in the universe next to his parents: his uncles.

  “Uncanee!!” The kid produces a volume that such a little body shouldn’t be able to produce, as he yanks his arm free from his mom’s grasp and toddles in high gear toward me.

  “Hey, little guy.” I smile as I bend down and pick him up, setting him on my hip. “Did you see the dog yet?”

  “Doggie?” the little tyke bellows when his mom walks up.

  “Matty, use your inside voice, baby,” Katie says gently.

  “Shhhh,” is the toddler’s response, accompanied by a little index finger pressed to his lips and a gush of spittle spraying me.

  “Sorry.” Katie winces.

  A soft chuckle catches my attention, and when I turn I see Kendra’s eyes sparkling with amusement at my expense. Her face is soft and she looks as relaxed as I’ve ever seen her. My heart does a little flip in my chest until a certain pint-sized town cryer slaps his little hands on my face.

  “Doggie!” he yells in my face.

  “Yes, kid. Doggie. Let’s go find him.” I swing Mattias up and onto my shoulders. Instinctively, his little fists clutch in my hair, and with one last look at a laughing Kendra, I take the boy to see a dog.

  Kendra

  Best night ever.

  I look over at the alarm clock to see it’s almost midnight. Seb finally managed to coax Arlene to go home after Emma and Gus had taken Mom home. She’s apparently staying in the guesthouse for the weekend. Neil laughed at that, s
aid that that guesthouse had never been vacant. Not since they had it built many moons ago.

  Chaos is snoring beside the bed, tired from trying to avoid a hyperactive little boy all night, and Neil is brushing his teeth in the bathroom. At his own sink. A smile steals over my face as I let my eyes wander around the room. I can’t quite believe I’m living in this gorgeous house. For keeps.

  “What are you smiling at, Pup?” Neil’s warm voice comes from the bathroom doorway where he is leaning against the post, his arms crossed over his naked chest.

  “This,” I confess, waving my arms to include everything. “Tonight. Our friends. This house. Everything.”

  Neil smiles as he stalks the bed and climbs up from the bottom, stopping at my ankle which he strokes lightly with a finger. “How’s the foot?”

  “Good.” I smile back as that finger slowly travels up my calf to the back of my knee.

  “Happy?” he asks, his lips following the path of his finger, lightly kissing the inside of my leg.

  “Blissfully. You?”

  “Sweetheart, I was happy from the first time I got to taste your lips, and you went from a distant dream to a perfect reality. I had a head start.”

  EPILOGUE

  Kendra

  “Are you ready?”

  I grab her outstretched hand. Both of us are facedown on tables side by side in Durango’s best-rated tattoo shop. I had some skin grafts done two years ago, taking care of the raised patches on my back. The feathers. The deeper grooves along my spine and marking the outlines had filled in but had been too deep to attempt to fix. Franka had opted to do the same, but started a year later, and hers took several surgeries. Our markings were eerily similar. I don’t know how we got onto the subject of tattoos, but Franka showed me one she had on her thigh which was intricate like a henna painting. She mentioned always having wanted more, but visible tattoos were still often frowned upon in her line of work, dealing with mostly an older generation, so she never got any more. Then something Emma once told me about claiming those marks, making them mine, popped in my head. Franka had loved the idea but at the time was still healing from her final surgery.