Don't Turn Your Back in the Barn (Adventures of a Country Vet)

by Perrin, Dr. Dave

  "Get yourself a good set of binoculars and watch her from a distance. That way if you see she's in trouble, or you see she's about to push the calf out, you can run over to be there."

  "There she is!" Inez trotted in Ushi's direction without the slightest indication that she'd heard a single word I'd said.

  We reached the brow of the hill to find Ushi in a gully. I had hoped that we would find her stretched out on her side with her calf pushed half out, but there she stood, head held high, ears erect, looking very much like a startled elk ready for flight.

  "Maybe if I go get the grain bucket..." Inez's voice trailed off, as even she could see the futility of the suggestion. Her round face was skewed with worry; her lower lip trembled. "But what about the calf?

  How long can we leave her and still hope it's alive? It's been more than seven hours since she broke her water."

  My gut feeling was that Ushi would calve on her own if we'd just get out of her hair, but I couldn't depend on it. What if there was a malpositioning? A simple problem corrected now could produce a live calf—if left, it may well result in a dead calf and a blight on my reputation.

  "She's used to you, Inez. How about walking down there alone to see if you can get that rope wrapped around a tree? Maybe if you stay far enough back, she'll forget about the rope on her neck long enough for you to catch her."

  While I sat down out of sight, Inez crept over the brim of the hill. Ushi watched Inez's approach. She lifted her head yet further, then turned to confront her owner.

  "Enough of this, girl." Inez took hesitant steps towards her. "Let's get that baby of yours on the ground."

  The huge animal stood like a statue as Inez tried to maneuver behind her to get at the rope but every time she disappeared from the heifer's direct line of vision, Ushi would turn to face her. Soon the end of the rope was only inches from Ushi's heels with the rest of it wrapped in circles around her. She stood watching Inez's movements, raising and lowering her head to get a better view of the determined woman who just would not leave her alone. When Inez was almost close enough to touch the rope, Ushi trotted away out of reach.

  "I'll give you a hand, Inez. She's obviously on to this game."

  A spirited chase ensued over every square foot of the Ballman property. The game became well defined. We chased after the little knot on the end of the twenty-foot lariat, while the cow kept us from getting hold of it. We had all sorts of strategies for procuring that knot, but the heifer was too smart. Several times I actually held the knot in my hand for a few seconds, only to have it wrenched from my grasp by fifteen-hundred pounds of rapidly retreating beef. Not once during this entire episode was there any sign from Ushi that she was actually in labour; the only evidence of parturition were the ropes of membranes protruding from her vagina.

  At the furthest corner of the property, Ushi's luck finally ran out. She arrived at the right angle in the fence at the same time as Inez and stopped for just long enough for me to run up behind her, grab the slack rope, and wrap it around a poplar tree. As she backed away from Inez, I gathered slack and took a couple of extra wraps around the tree. Ushi turned and retreated from me until she realized her predicament, then stood resignedly.

  "You hold this and keep an eye on her while I go for the water." I handed the rope to Inez.

  "I sure hope that calf of hers is still all right," Inez moaned. "I just have the terrible feeling that I left it too long."

  Little had changed by the time I returned with the buckets. Ushi was hanging back on the rope, while Inez uttered a constant stream of platitudes about what a good girl she was.

  Setting the bucket of cold water by the fence, I approached the gangly heifer from behind and gently scratched her tailhead. "Good girl, Ushi. There's a girl...good girl...good girl."

  Moving my left hand slowly down her tail, I splashed some warm water onto her vagina. As if she'd been shot from a cannon, Ushi charged forward.

  "Ushi! Ushi! Settle down, girl," pleaded Inez. "Settle down."

  Around and around and around that tree Ushi lurched until she was snubbed as tightly as the lariat would allow. When she was literally at the end of her rope, I fished the container of soap from the water bucket, slathered it over her rear end, and scrubbed her quickly. Squirting soap on my arms, I worked it into a rich lather, introduced my hand through the vaginal lips, and pushed forward into the pelvis.

  Ushi strained against the rope, bellowed as though her throat had been slit, and threw herself to the side. Turning in the opposite direction, she lapped the tree again, undoing herself as she went and getting further and further away from the tree.

  "Did you feel anything?" Inez puffed, now out of breath from her laps around the tree in front of the rampaging heifer.

  "The calf's in a normal position. Both front feet and the head are in the pelvis."

  "Is it alive?"

  "Didn't have long enough to find out!"

  I jumped in front of Ushi and managed to stop her circling. Pulling tighter on the rope, I snubbed her closer to the tree and put another hitch to keep her from loosening it further. Scrubbing up again, I once more pushed into the vagina. Both of the calf's front feet were over the brim of the pelvis, and there seemed to be lots of room between the head and the mother's pubis. Grabbing the front foot, I spread the claws enough to cause a live calf discomfort and, sure enough, the foot was withdrawn.

  "The calf's alive, Inez, and I think we've got enough room to pull it without difficulty."

  I'd just soaped up the calving chains and was ready to place them on the calf's legs when Ushi blew up again. She charged forward and shook herself then, in a fit of defiance, pulled back, bellowed, and stuck out her tongue. She was pulling hard enough to cut off her airway; her tongue was taking on a distinct bluish hue.

  "Give her some slack, Inez!"

  Ushi was staggering from lack of oxygen, yet she still laid back on the rope, pulling as though her life depended on it. Inez had released most of her available slack and was clinging desperately to the remaining few feet.

  "We'll have to loosen off until I get a half hitch over her muzzle." I grabbed Ushi by the nasal septum, braced my feet, and leaned forward until the rope was finally slack.

  "Just a bit more and I'll get a loop over her nose so she won't choke herself."

  "You can't have any more or we'll lose her!"

  I'd just about gotten the half hitch over Ushi's nose when she shook her head and reefed backwards. The rope slipped and tightened like a vise over the palm of my hand. I tried desperately to pull free, but Ushi's constant pressure held me firm. When I grabbed for her nose with my other hand, she was more determined to escape my grip. I was yanked helplessly in her wake as she jumped back and forth, shaking her head and bawling in a panicky attempt to free herself.

  "Let go the rope, Inez!" I hollered, as the pain intensified.

  "We'll never catch her again if we let her go now!" Her jaw set, her lips pursed, Inez had drawn the line. She wasn't giving Ushi one more inch of ground!

  Ushi lay back with her entire weight upon the rope, her breathing raspy and laboured, her protruding tongue a sickly bluish-white. My hand, still ensnared by the rope, was now numb and about the same colour as the cow's tongue.

  "Let go the rope!" I bellowed in rage.

  "We'll never catch her!"

  "Inez! Let go that f...ing rope!"

  The rope suddenly fell slack. Ushi staggered back several paces and collapsed in a heap. I pulled my hand free. Surges of warmth and pain shot through it as I attempted to move my fingers. Ushi's breath was coming freely now, but she was still content to lie where she had landed. With sensation returning to my fingers, I quickly formed a half hitch and slipped it over the heifer's nose. Grabbing the end of the rope, I ran to a nearby birch tree and managed a wrap around the base of it.

  Ushi got to her feet slowly, almost leisurely. As she turned her head in my direction, I took up the slack and got another wrap around the trunk.

>   "Come, take the rope again, Inez. You can tighten it up as she comes forward."

  I grabbed the bucket and cleaned up Ushi's back end. After washing myself, I soaped up a calving chain, formed a loop with it, and manipulated it into the vagina. Ushi took a few hesitant steps then, for the first time, strained against my entry. I quickly passed the loop over the calf's foot, tightened it, and followed it with a second half hitch. I repeated the procedure on the other leg. The entire time, Ushi was pushing against my presence.

  "Good girl, Ushi," Inez encouraged. "Just keep on pushing!"

  I attached the handles to the chains and began applying pressure. The calf slid forward easily to show feet and legs and tongue. I timed my pulling to the heifer's pushing, and soon a dark nose appeared, then a very dainty head.

  "She's not even going to lie down!" Inez was beside herself with excitement, her eyes beaming anticipation.

  With just a bit more pressure on the chains, the neck and chest were through. I dropped the handles and reached for the calf just in time for, with one more push, Ushi propelled it from her womb and into my arms.

  "Why, the calf's absolutely tiny!" Inez exclaimed.

  Laying it on the grass, I rubbed the infant's face and cleared some mucous from its mouth. As I cleaned its nostrils, the calf gave an explosive snort and shook its head.

  I checked its anatomy. "It's a heifer."

  "Oh, isn't that nice! I was sure she'd be having a bull. When they go over the due date like she did, they're almost always bulls."

  "Give me one second more, and we can let Ushi have her baby." I scrubbed my arms again. "I'll make sure she doesn't have another calf in there. That one's small enough to be a twin."

  A quick check revealed an empty uterus. There were no tears and Ushi wasn't bleeding. Gathering the calf in my arms, I set her down in front of her mother.

  "I hope you like your baby after all this, girl."

  The mammoth heifer stared in bewilderment at the wet little creature. The calf held up her head to check out her surroundings, and Ushi took a few hesitant sniffs. She jumped back as the baby attempted to stand and went sprawling, but immediately returned and started licking at her.

  Ushi paid no attention whatsoever to me as I stepped up beside her to remove the loop from her nose and loosen the lariat.

  "Didn't I tell you she was a beautiful heifer?" Inez chortled. "Ushi, you're such a good girl!"

  What a week! The pace of spring rush was more than I could handle. Hard to believe that, when I moved to the Creston Valley, I had worried that the cow population might not be large enough to support a veterinarian.

  Thank God that most of the heifers had finally calved! I forgot what it was like to feel rested—to just be quiet and have nothing to occupy my mind. Not only were the days hectic, but it was a rare occasion when I actually slept the whole night through. There was always an emergency to roust me or some perplexing case that refused to vacate my mind.

  I had looked forward to the weekend with the hope that things would slacken off, but Saturday was here and it looked like more of the same. Gerald Phillips called in; he had another milk fever. He was hoping that it wasn't a "funny one" like the case a couple of weeks ago. Funny was hardly an appropriate description; if it was anything like the last one, I wanted to run and hide!

  The memory of Gerald standing in front of poor old Gert with the gun in his hands still sent a shiver up my spine. Gert was a huge old Guernsey, Gerald's favourite cow. She had calved without difficulty in the early morning, and he thought she looked fine until he couldn't get her to stand for evening milking. I treated her as a typical milk fever and was bewildered when she didn't respond to the administration of calcium.

  I had come to expect instantaneous results from that magic potion! How many times had I arrived to a cow that was flat out and barely able to draw a breath. Invariably, the calcium would restore the flagging heart rate, have her shivering and shaking within minutes, and on her feet within the hour.

  Gert perked up a bit after treatment; she shivered and took a pee. I left after giving her a second bottle under the skin, certain that she would soon be up and about. It was perplexing to be called back to her, even more upsetting to see her lying like a toad flattened on the highway, her hind legs stretched out behind her.

  Cows were not made to lie like that! Although this was the first time in my career I had seen the presentation, I would come to view it with dread. I drew blood to send to the lab, then administered additional calcium. I was working towards developing a baseline on selenium, magnesium, and phosphorous levels in the valley. These minerals seemed to play a significant role in cattle health in other areas, and I was determined to get a profile on the local herds.

  Gert was an enormous cow to argue with; even rolling her onto her side was a daunting task. By the time we'd repositioned her legs and propped up bales of straw to keep her upright, we were exhausted.

  She never did improve. Each time I called in, it was more obvious that she was a "downer cow." Within five minutes of straightening her, she would invariably return to the toad position. In desperation, we tried using hip lifters, monstrous clamps that would fit well in any torture chamber. Tightened over the pin bones of the pelvis with a huge screw, they provided a means of lifting the cow's back end in the hopes that she would try to stand on her own. Gert simply refused to play the game; each time we applied the clamps, she hung pathetically, making no effort whatsoever to help herself.

  Lab results revealed sky-high levels of calcium and magnesium, marginal levels of phosphorous, and low levels of selenium. I administered both phosphorous and selenium with no change in her demeanour. Five days of wrestling with misdirected legs, of struggling with hip lifters and belly bands led to naught. Each attempt to lift Gert found her hanging beneath the chains of the come-along like a sack of soggy grain. When it became obvious that she would never rally, Gerald sadly brought out the gun and ended the ordeal.

  A postmortem revealed massive muscle damage to her hind legs, bruising along the entire ventral abdomen, and a liver that was so imbibed with fat that I could cut a line through it with my index finger. Samples sent to the lab confirmed that we were dealing with fatty liver syndrome.

  Extensive research had proven that proper care for cattle during their non-milking period was vital. Feeding good-quality grass hay high in phosphorous and low in calcium was the trick to preventing milk fevers. Keeping energy levels properly balanced so that the cows didn't get too fat was also part of the ticket.

  Trying to convince Gerald to cut back on the groceries was not an easy task! As he approached sixty, a lot of the joy he derived from dairying came from spoiling his "girls." Gerald had wagged his head as I recommended cutting back during the dry period—his cows were just too fat at freshening—but I was certain he wasn't buying it.

  I cringed when I got the first look at Jenny. She was a mammoth Holstein carrying far more weight than Gert. She lay stretched out on the straw like a whale tossed on the beach by a massive wave.

  "Calving went fine, Gerald?"

  "Never had a lick of trouble. She cleaned; her calf's as fit as a fiddle." His voice cracked. He hovered over me as I knelt by his girl, his intense blue eyes boring into me. A slender man with silver hair and sharp facial features, he had all the intensity of a hawk. "I was surprised to see her down this morning."

  Jenny's heart sounded weak and distant. Her pupils were dilated, her ears and extremities cold. I palpated her udder for signs of heat and swelling, then struggled to get a milk sample from each quarter. The milk tested fine; there was no evidence of mastitis. She looked like a typical milk fever—I was praying she responded like one.

  I administered a bottle of calcium, then ran in a couple of bottles of fifty percent dextrose. If there was ever a candidate for a fatty liver, Jenny was it! I hoped that flooding her with sugar water now would keep her from mobilizing fat as a source of energy. With any luck, that might prevent the rise in ketone bodies an
d the accumulation of fat in the liver.

  I released the halter and looked on in disappointment as the cow tucked her head into her flank and emitted a long exasperating groan. "What do you think?" Gerald was no happier than I by her apparent lack of response.

  "I hope we don't have another one, Gerald. She's awful fat. Have you had any other cows calve after Gert?"

  "Yeah, sure. Floss and Tinker calved and they're milking good; Esther and Ilene calved around the same time as Gert and they're fine." Gerald stared at me sadly. I wanted to say something to ease his pain. Jenny groaned again. She looked for all the world like a milk fever cow that had yet to be treated.

  I drove the seven miles from Lister to the office in a daze. Lug sat with his head on my lap. He always seemed to sense when I was down. My mind whirled around and around Gerald's situation. I hated passively accepting defeat—surely there was something I could do to make a difference! Doris met me at the door. Before she could utter a word, a plaintive wail emanated from the surgery. Lug's ears perked, and he trotted towards the sound.

  "What is that?" It almost sounded like the bleat of a lamb, but...

  Doris had been struggling all week with the flu. Her nose was red from blowing; she looked exhausted. "Alex Shopa was just in," she croaked. "Another of the heifers he bought in Alberta calved early— this one's alive. I've never seen him so upset; he fidgeted around here for a bit then left. He said he'd wait by the phone till you called."

  I rushed to the surgery. Laid out on a blanket in front of the heat register was a calf that couldn't weigh more than thirty pounds. Its features were delicate, its hair barely half an inch long.

  "I've never seen a calf this premature still breathing." The calf's mouth was open; its sides were pumping weakly. As I stooped to check it, it released another mournful bleat, then lay still. "Looks like I arrived just in time to administer the last rites. I'm beginning to feel like Dr. Death!"

  "Don't be silly! Alex was sure it was too young to make it. He wanted you to have a look and see why it came so early."