She stopped and stared at him. Garrett could see the enormous amount of effort and concentration it was taking for her to stay still and just look him in the eye. “I asked you for this,” she whispered. The whisper turned to a gasp and she winced. Garrett could feel the invisible rays of heat blazing off her. She was a tiny beautiful sun in the chilly bedroom. “Do not be sorry,” she managed and then she had to turn away.
He could see the silver tracks of her tears in the shoddy light. She sniffled, trying very hard not to cry. Garrett wondered how many times in her life she’d had to tamp down her feelings and hide her pain. Often emotion led to more abuse and he could tell Liv had had more than her fair share of abusive people in her orbit.
“Let it out, Liv,” he said. He rubbed her back and she jumped as if he’d stabbed her. Any pressure on her skin was painful. Sound and light and even scents could induce wild giddiness, pain and nausea until her body accepted its changes. “Being quiet will only make it worse. No one can hear you. It’s fine. Let it go, baby.”
She shuddered harder, sniffled once more and then she let out the loudest, most blood-chilling wail he’d ever heard. It took his breath away, the agony in that cry, and made his heart jump. Garrett did the only thing he could think to do, he lay on the bed, spooning Liv, holding her as her body shook with illness and she screamed until her voice gave out.
Chapter Twelve
Kelly
It took an hour to get from the farm to Garrett’s new house. When she turned off the main road she could hear Liv. That smiling, blonde human woman from the house. The one who had scurried upstairs to give them peace. The sounds she let loose made Kelly’s skin crawl.
“Oh dear God, that poor, poor girl.” She parked in a cockeyed mess on Garrett’s parking pad and ran to the front door. He had it locked and another fierce cry came from the upstairs and her ears started ringing. Kelly put her shoulder to the door, gripped the handle and leaned into it. The door opened and a bit of the wood splintered. “He’ll have to forgive me. I’ll get him a new door,” she said, talking to herself. First sign of crazy, her mother had always joked.
Kelly took the steps fast, hearing the harsh sounds of Liv’s distress. She rounded the corner and Garrett turned, tense to spring. He’d been so wrapped up in the girl he hadn’t sensed her at all. She held up her hands in mock supplication and he relaxed.
“How did you get in?”
“So I owe you a door,” she said. “How is she?”
“Burning up. How hot do they get? It’s been so long I can’t remember.”
His jaw was so tight the small muscles stood out. Kelly could see the fear in his eyes. She’d seen him angry, she’d seen him annoyed and she’d seen him so very grief-stricken she thought it might kill him but she had never ever seen him so scared.
“Very hot. Too hot. It would kill most people. One-oh-nine? One-ten? About there.”
“Dear Christ,” he said and shook his head. “She’s getting quiet. The quiet is worse to me than that crying and screaming.”
“Because you have to worry if she’s—” She cut herself off when he looked up, face lean and harsh in the small amount of lamp light. He’d turned a light on in the corner and she could see the writhing outline of Liv in the bed. Her body was covered with quilts as she shivered uncontrollably, her body’s wires completely crossed. Every nerve and fiber of her confused and in crisis.
“What can we do?”
“Nothing. Not a damn thing. We can sit, wipe her head, talk to her, try to give her liquids. But mostly, nature has to take its course. It will accept or reject the invasion. It will adapt or die.”
“I’m not going to die,” Liv said from the bed.
Garrett turned so fast to touch her he nearly fell off the bed. Kelly would have smiled at that had she not been so concerned for the smaller woman. “I believe you, honey. If you’re talking when you’re not even halfway done, then you are one strong lady.” She went to Liv and knelt by the bed. She put her face up close to Liv’s so she could see her clearly. “Did you want to be changed?”
“I did.” Liv bit her lip, her body contorting for a moment. Kelly smoothed her wet bangs off her face. Touched her forehead. Heat blazed off her and her skin was not wet now, it was dry. Dry like sun-baked clay in the summer.
“Good. Thank you for answering me.”
“Why do you need to know?” Even in this state, the woman looked concerned. Her eyes darted to Garrett and she asked, “He won’t get in trouble, will he?”
“Answers will have to be provided. We take changing someone very seriously. Very seriously. Garrett is the last pack member I would ever expect to change a person. You must be very special.” She leaned in and kissed Liv on the forehead.
Liv looked shocked but then closed her eyes. Groaning, she rolled to her back. “I asked, I begged. I wanted it. I’ll tell them myself. When I’m better.” She sniffled softly and appeared to fall asleep.
Kelly motioned Garrett into the hall. “I’m going to make you a steak and whatever else I can scrounge up. You need to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“It doesn’t matter, your body is. You know how this goes. You can’t go losing a bunch of weight and letting your body get weak. She needs you to be strong. Stronger than you’ve ever been. Wolves need food,” she said and grabbed him in a hug. He’d take her hug whether he liked it or not.
“Fine. I’ll eat.” He hugged her back but only briefly.
“Why didn’t you call me, Garrett?”
“I didn’t know I’d do it until I did. I kept thinking I’d…”
“See reason?”
“Chicken out, actually. Because I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to take her and change her. And I don’t really know why other than it was there. And we mated and…”
“And?” Kelly stared at him. She could hear the rain streaking the sunlight in the hallway. It painted his face with silver and gray.
“And she is mine. She is mine because all I could smell or think or feel in the whole world was—”
“Her. Which was why you were being so cautious. You were afraid you were right.” She sighed. “I could have—”
“You would have talked me out of it. It was something we both needed and I can’t really explain it.” Liv gave a small gasp and then a sob and he turned toward the sound. “I have to get in there with her. I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay.”
“Sure I do.” Kelly turned but he called her name from already halfway down the hall.
“But Kel?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t have anyone to answer to. I don’t care what the pack thinks or feels. I would never change someone against their will but I don’t care if they believe me. I don’t give a good goddamn what any of them think. Which is how they felt about me.” And then he was gone, tending to his new changeling.
Kelly put her head down, muttering a tiny prayer to Great Spirit. The one her mother had taught her as a child, Oh Great Spirit, help me always to speak the truth quietly, to listen with an open mind when others speak and to remember the peace that may be found in silence.
She went down to prepare Garrett his meal. It would be a long night and his body would need a lot to keep up. Anxiety, stress and worry taxed them physically more than most. They could drop pounds overnight if they neglected to nourish properly. She would keep her peace. Let things lie. The best gift she could give Garrett right now was to listen, to try to hear what his heart was saying and to keep her mouth shut. The best thing she could offer him was her silence and her help.
———
Liv turned to see the tarnished metal sheen of his eyes, his face went lean, his nose sharper. She smiled, reaching up to touch Garrett. “Are you okay?”
He barked laughter, the sound of his base nature in there for her to hear. A rumbling quickening of breath. He shook his head. “You’re asking me if I’m okay?”
“You’re flickering,” she managed. Each breath was like
fire in her lungs. Each word like a razor sliding over her lips. Everything hurt. Her face, her toes, her stomach, her head, her ears rang and ached like someone had shoved ice picks into her ear drums. Her scalp sang where the pressure of each hair protruding from her skin created pain. Her eyes were dry and hot, her tongue like sandpaper. Garrett held a glass to her lips and she sipped a little. Her stomach seized in a cramp.
“When we get upset, really upset, we tend to have less control on our wolves. You’ll learn. You will, in fact, have to learn. Fast.”
“That sounds promising,” she laughed. “Like you think I’ll make it.”
“You’ll make it.” He bent, kissing her full on the mouth despite her being a total wreck. It made her smile though even her teeth hurt. “You have to.”
His eyes flashed again and she winced, then everything righted. He was struggling. “Don’t fight it. Just change. Lie here next to me and keep me warm. Be all beast-man.”
“You’re lucky you’re sick, lady. Or I’d definitely do you right now.” He shifted in an instant. Again the blur and flicker of an old movie that has jumped its reel. He was in one breath a man, the next a wolf. A beautiful regal gray wolf with eyes the color of tropical waters.
Liv laughed. “You’d do me right now. You are brave.” Then pain torqued up her belly and her arms, cramps that made charley horses look like fun and she curled in on herself hoping for some relief.
Garrett rested his muzzle on her hip and whined a little. Keeping watch over her, he rubbed his fur over the soft skin of her arm. He licked her hand until she settled and when she looked his eyes never wavered. She finally dozed, feeling his gaze on her and the solid reassurance of his presence.
Chapter Thirteen
Sunrise
Garrett came down with the sunrise to find Kelly passed out on the sofa. The kitchen showed a night of nervous puttering. Food stuff lay scattered, clean dishes dried in the rack and dirty dishes clogged the sink. He opened the fridge to find pudding, gelatin, a casserole and on the counter behind him sat a pineapple upside down cake. “It looks like Betty Crocker exploded in here,” he mumbled.
“Not quite but close. I wasn’t sure what either of you would want to eat.” Kelly stood, rubbing her eyes, stretching tall and then bending forward like she was made of rubber.
Garrett shook his head. How did she do that? “You figured we’d both be on a sugar kick?” he laughed.
“Hey, most of us crave sugar after we shift. It’s fast energy. If you’re shifting for the first time…” Kelly shrugged.
She rinsed the coffee pot and Garrett dug out the coffee and filters.
“How is she?”
“Sleeping,” he said. “I finally left her because the fever broke and she went from restless sleep to sacked out. I didn’t want to bother her.”
“You know she’ll shift tonight. Are you ready for that?” Kelly kept her head down and Garrett suspected it was to avoid a conflict. She wasn’t judgmental but he was in a place of guilt and worry right now. He’d find judgment where there wasn’t any. She knew him well enough to play the offensive.
“I know. I’m ready. I would never have changed her if I weren’t ready to…” He sighed, put coffee in the filter and hit the button. “Deal? Keep her safe? Mate her? Shit, your guess is as good as mine, Kel. I have no clue. I’ve been operating mainly on instinct with Liv.”
Kelly frowned, looking concerned for the first time. “But our instinct isn’t to change people. That’s not how our instincts work, Ga—”
“As a man,” he said gruffly. “I meant as a man who wanted a woman.”
She shut her mouth so fast her teeth clacked and they both smiled. “Got it. Well, I have zero to say about that but I do understand what you mean. I’m going to hop in your shower and then I’ll come fix breakfast.”
“I’ll grab a piece of cake,” he said.
“Good lord, fine. Have cake but when I come down there’ll be eggs and bacon and toast and fruit. Good stuff. Tonight’s going to be another rough one, you need your energy.”
“Yes, Mom,” Garrett said, grinning.
In mom-mode, she swatted him with a throw pillow and then bounded up the steps. Kelly was easily in her mid-sixties but she moved like a twenty-year-old. “Maybe that was why I changed her. Had to,” Garrett said to himself. “I couldn’t watch her grow old and die and lose her. I couldn’t face another loss.”
He wasn’t immortal but his life span would be significantly longer than Liv’s. Probably by at least half a dozen decades. Too many decades to be without her.
Garrett heard the dog that lived next door to Liv barking like mad. He looked out the window as the shower came on upstairs. No sounds from Liv. Hopefully she would sleep long and well. Her body needed that more than ever. Twice during the night her body had contorted, hovering right on the edge of shifting. Her muscles, bones and sinew doing a painful dance, caught in limbo. She had clutched at him, pulling his fur, gripping him close and sometimes painfully hard. He had stayed vigilant and ready to help her if she needed. Mostly she just needed his presence.
As he watched, Kevin, he of the alpha temper and brain-dead ways, came around the side of Liv’s house. He banged on every door and window with a stick from the front yard. He did his best to peer into the windows, cupping his big hands around his big stupid face and straining to see. Garrett swore he could smell the oily stink of the other man’s bravado. Probably so.
Upstairs, Liv tossed, cried out softly. Even he had barely heard it. She was caught in some kind of dream that made her anxious. Almost as if the memories of the man now stalking around her house had seeped into her sleeping form to haunt her simply because he was here.
Garrett tapped the window. Something in him told him to stop but it was make his presence known or go over there and rip that man to little bloody shreds. That was the kind of mood he was in.
Kevin didn’t hear him. He stomped onto Liv’s porch and Pepper, the neighbor’s dog, went wild, howling and barking. But no one was home at the Petersons’ to hear. Kevin kicked the brass kick-plate at the bottom of her door, hammering with his fists. He didn’t yell though. That would create too much of a spectacle and men like that were all about flying under the radar.
Garrett felt his own anger clogging up his chest, his throat, muddying his head. He tapped the window and eventually started slapping with the flat of his palm. It was only when the other man stopped for a moment that he heard the now violent smack, smack, smack of flesh on glass. Kevin turned and Garrett glared at him, hand still on the chilled window.
Kevin glowered, stomped down the steps, started to come but caught something in Garrett’s face. Something made him hesitate on the far side of the street.
No… Liv from upstairs.
He heard Kelly start down the hall from the guest room. Her shower had been short and perfunctory.
The men locked eyes and Garrett felt his anger, a fiery horse of rage barely tethered by the reins of his common sense, start to buck. He glared at the man, hoping against hope he took the point and never came back.
No!
Kevin took one more step, stopped and finally rose his fingers in the imitation of a gun and fired. Then he turned and walked to his truck.
“No!” Liv screamed from upstairs and Kelly called him. No panic in her voice but concern.
“Coming,” he said softly but he knew Kelly would hear him.
“Asshole,” Garrett said, watching Kevin drive off, still doing his best to stare him down. When he turned the corner and was gone, he went to check on Liv.
Pepper had stopped barking.
———
Power
Liv wasn’t even sure she was saying it aloud until her body jerked in sympathy with the cry that came out of her. She sat straight up, the no dying on her lips. Her eyes didn’t want to clear but she made out the large shadow of someone—Garrett, you can smell him—coming toward her. His hands were on her and his voice was soft as the other shadow m
oved into her line of sight. The woman. Kelly. She smelled of sympathy, warm cake and worry.
“Are you okay, Liv? It was a dream.” Garrett’s voice in her ear.
Liv shook her head, most of the dream had fled, most of it was gone. Just a sticky residue of unease. The loud bang and a pitched vision and hard impact and running, running, running. She shook her head again like a dog shaking off water.
Garrett sat, the bed squealing under his weight. “What was it?”
She shrugged. Best to let it go, leave it be. That was how she’d done it for ages and ages. Liv didn’t tell him that in the dream Kevin’s face had been a huge looming presence like a jack-o-lantern at Halloween. It was simply her inner demons rearing up because of the fever.
She shook, shivered and then her body righted itself. Liv kissed Garrett softly, smiled at Kelly who was hovering like a concerned mother in the corner. She flexed her fingers. They felt different. They felt longer, bigger, stronger. But they looked the same. They felt as if they should have white sparks of energy floating off them. Garrett pushed her hair back off her forehead.
“I need a shower,” she said.
Dead silence and then they both laughed. Booming laughs full of relief. The sounds of big breaths being held captive in lungs finally being released.
“We can arrange that,” Garrett said.
“And I am starving.”
“Honey, I am all over that,” Kelly said and disappeared. Liv could nearly smell the contentedness of the other woman. Having something to do, some way to help. She thought she would like Kelly very much.
The day was not over for her though. She could tell. She could tell by the way Garrett was looking at her with both relief and concern. She could tell by the coiled feeling of energy and power in the pit of her stomach. Her skin tingled with some dark energy. And she wasn’t quite sure how it would play out. But for that moment, she just wanted to be clean and fed.
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