“Come on, I’ll help you. You’re going to swing wildly between I can lift a bus to I can barely stand up.”
Liv let him take her hand and help her up. The tangle of sheets and blankets fell away. The nightgown he’d slipped over her during one of her cold spells was tattered and shredded. “Did I do that?”
“Yeah, probably. It was a rough night for you. How do you feel?” He touched her as he talked. Light touches, strokes, feathering his fingers over her skin. It was as if he thought she would suddenly vanish if his skin wasn’t on hers.
“Dirty and hungry.”
“I like dirty,” Garrett laughed, guiding her to the door. “I like dirty a lot.”
There was the flash of ornery hot man she had fallen for hook, line and sinker. Liv smiled, feeling safe and warm and exhausted. Overall, a pretty pleasant feeling. “I knew you would.”
The small bathroom filled up with steam fast. The hot water pounded on the porcelain tub and it sounded like a billion jackboots marching. Liv winced. Garrett caught the look. “It will level out. You’ve a bit of hyperacusis right now. Everything will sound too loud and too big. Your body will adjust.”
She brushed her teeth quickly, thinking that mint had never tasted so good. Then Liv dropped her nightie and stepped in, hot water washing over her in a decadent river. She sighed. A wave of vertigo hit and she clutched at the wall. “Oops.”
“Right. Okay, step back.” Garrett stepped into the shower in his sweats and tee. Instantly soaked, he pulled at the sodden clothes.
“Well, that was dumb. Why’d you get in with your clothes on?” Liv turned to face the stream of water, his hand on her bare hip to steady her.
“I didn’t want you to think I…” But then his words broke off in a rough mumble. Which meant he had done it on purpose because Liv swore she could hear each individual drop of water hitting the shower floor like a crash symbol.
“What?” She turned a bit too fast, clutched at him. Garrett steadied her with a fast grab. One hand at her hip and one behind her head. Liv let herself sink back into that cupping hand for a moment. Reveling in the feel of the possessive nature of his touch. She could feel it coming off him like invisible bubbles of energy. minemineminemine…
“I said, I didn’t want you to think I was trying to… You’re not ready yet, you’re too weak. But when I get near you…”
He looked both horrified and desperate and the combination amused her. She laughed, touching his stomach through the now misshapen yellow shirt. “What?”
“I didn’t want you to think I was being fresh!” he blurted.
Liv grinned, so tired her bones hurt but craving him with such an inexplicable urgency, she couldn’t think. She ran her fingers along the now visible swell of his hard-on and he shut his eyes, clenching his jaw. He was trying so hard to be the good guy here and it made her need to push him over the edge that much more intense. “Liv—”
“I’m sad that these are on,” she said, stepping to him. Pressing the heat of her body to his, nothing but the soaking wet clothes separating them.
Garrett made a frustrated sound and his mouth came down on hers. He tried to keep the kiss gentle, Liv could feel his restraint. She stood on tiptoe, though the world rocked a bit and licked his bottom lip once. When he groaned, she nipped it with her teeth. Garrett molded himself to her, his body tight with controlled emotion. “You should rest,” he said, sounding like he wanted to scream.
“I did rest. All night.” The power and excitement and want overtook her, every part of her tingling and flickering with intensity. “Now I want you.” She pushed her hands into his sweats, wrestling the sodden fabric, laughing just a little. The material ripped in her hands and she was both overjoyed and terrified. “Oh God.”
“You have a little more strength than before,” he said softly. Garrett stood stock still, trying to gauge her reaction.
“I’ll say.” Her voice was shaking but her heart was soaring. She had strength. She had power. Liv pushed the sweats down and they hit the porcelain with a dull smack. She tugged his shirt, murmuring to him. Small sounds that really didn’t serve any purpose but to spur him on.
Garrett finally started to help. Tugging his tee, touching her breasts, stooping to kiss her once more until finally, blissfully, he had her pressed to the wall. The tile cold despite the flecks of hot water. It felt good on her back. At moments her skin felt too hot, too tight, too small, like it wasn’t her own. She wanted to be lost in him for just a bit.
“I wanted to be the good guy,” he said, dipping his head to suck her nipple, running his tongue over the pebbled skin. The shiver of pleasure skittered down into her belly and she slid her hands along the length of his cock, squeezing him so that she felt his heartbeat quicken.
“This is good.” She pressed back, hooking one leg around his waist so that his cock seated naturally at her pussy. She was so wet and hot. Like the fever hadn’t really gone but had simply banked inside her like coals in a hearth. The sound of blood in her ears was too much to simply be hers. She had to be hearing his too.
Garrett pressed the tip of himself to her. Sliding in just enough so that she gasped, held her breath, felt the thrilling bang of her pulse. “No. I wanted to not do this. To let you be. To let you rest and just help you.” He looked lost. A little tortured. Torn between wanting to thrust in deep, seat himself inside her and move…or simply stop.
Liv touched his lip, pushed her finger into his mouth until he sucked hard enough for her to feel the tug in her cunt. She arched forward enough to force him in a little more and said, her lips pressed to his, “I need this. Please, I need this now. I need you now. I can’t explain—”
She didn’t have to. Garrett thrust and her feet left the ground but for the tips of her toes. All the words stopped. The vertigo stopped. The world seemed to stop as he pressed her flush to the cool tile and started to move. Stronger than he looked, so much stronger, he held her there secure. She wrapped her legs around his waist, opening for him, meeting each of his thrusts with a welcome thrust of her own until the fever inside her was more than anything she’d felt the night before and she was coming. Arms wrapped around his neck as he buried himself deep inside her. Tears tracked down her face, lost amid the little rivulets of cooling shower water. She was crying for so many reasons. The loss of her fear, the gain of her power, the feel of Garrett moving inside her, nothing between them but the need.
He found that tender place on her throat that still carried its own special kind of pain and he pinned that flesh with his teeth. Fucking her harder so that her hair tangled up around her face, strands of it plastered over her lips and her mouth. He broke, kissed her, returned to that place that marked her as his and he thrust once more, his teeth clamping down, harder than ever. And he came. A whole new kind of dizziness assaulted her as a second stronger orgasm rocked her, right on the heels of his. Something was different.
That had been more than sex.
“Mating,” he said, reading her mind. “It’s a whole ’nother ball game.”
She kissed him, not knowing all of what he meant, not caring.
Finally, he said it. “I love you, Liv.”
She could see how hard it was for him, even now. And her throat closed with unshed tears.
Chapter Fourteen
The End and the Beginning
Garrett waited, staring at Liv. Seeing all the drops of water on her skin like gems of ice. He waited for it to hurt. He waited to explode, drop dead, cry. He waited for a wave of anger and loathing and guilt over letting Eileen go. Nothing but a sense of peace. A feeling of wholeness.
Liv watched him, concern on her face where only exhaustion should be. He loved her even more for worrying about him. For taking herself out of the ordeal of the night before. What her body, mind and spirit had been through and for thinking beyond that scope to see him and his small self-flagellating worry. “I love you too, Garrett.” She said it like she was fearful of his reaction. As if her feelings were
wrong.
He never wanted Liv to feel that way again. Garrett felt like he knew everything about her and nothing at all. Like no matter how much she clued him into herself and what was inside her, it would never be enough. “Yeah?” He took her face in his hands, running his thumbs over the wet warmth of her cheeks.
He was still in her, soft but there and he started to move, eyes locked with her.
Liv’s eyes went wide. Brown eyes, honest eyes. She gasped, opening her mouth, closing it, opening it again. “Yeah,” she breathed. Her voice caught, her breathing increased, he could smell her body warm to him.
“I love you, Liv,” he said it again. Moving slower than slow this time. Feeling every single flicker and clench in her pussy. Watching her pupils dilate, her breasts rise and fall. The water was cool now and her skin pebbled with goose bumps before smoothing out like a magic trick of flesh and blood under his fingers. He moved deeper, so slow she held her breath and her pussy went tight around him. She was right there and he loved when she was right there. Because Liv’s right there pushed him a stumbling step closer to his own orgasm. To that moment, if all the stars aligned and he found his patience and will, they came together like some force of nature that gods had set together.
She moved just a fraction of an inch and tightened around him on purpose. It was his turn to gasp. Her small, insistent hands found his hips and she tugged him toward her. “And I love you.” She said it again, slowly, watching his face.
He grinned and she grinned back. When he thrust hard she wasn’t expecting it and her eyes flew wider still. Garrett chuckled, pleased with himself until she clenched up around him again, tighter than before. But then she sighed and put her forehead to his chin, melting his heart with her honesty. “I’m so tired, Garrett, just fuck me. But softly this time. And look at me when you come. I want to see.”
That almost did him in right there but he cupped the back of her head, watching her face as he went slow and steady, and when he came he stared into her big brown eyes and wondered just how the hell he got so lucky. And he prayed that no one would take it from him this time.
———
He got her back into bed. She was in one of his big tees and the smallest pair of his pajama pants he could find. The double header of sex and then the food that Kelly had deluged her with had put her out like a light.
“She looks good,” Kelly said.
“Yeah. She does. I think she’ll be fine. Even the change will be okay, I think.” He pulled on his boots and snagged a cookie from the tray on the counter. “You’re going to use all my food, woman,” he joked.
“Hey, when I get nervous, I bake! Did she like the soup?”
“She loved the soup. And the bread. And the cake…the cocoa…” He laughed, tying his laces.
“Where are you going?” She sipped her own cocoa, playing with the marshmallows and watching him with wary eyes.
“Just to check her house out. That douche bag was over there the other day. The ex-boyfriend.”
“I know. I could smell the antagonism coming off him, Gar. You be careful. He’s got that harsh ozone smell of crazy about him.”
“He won’t hurt me,” Garrett said but he had felt it too. Kevin was gunning for him. His little pissing contest earlier had been laughable but under it all, he was malicious and reeked of the bravado that could swiftly slide into violence. “But I’ll keep my eyes open, okay?”
“Thank you.”
“Now, you, leave her be! Don’t go waking her up to feed her! I’m just going to make sure the house is good and then I’ll be back to help you clean up.” He surveyed the counter cluttered with dirty bowls, flour, measuring spoons and coffee cups. “If that’s even possible.”
Kelly swatted him with a towel and scowled. “Don’t be such a smart ass. I’m going to call Chester and tell him I’m okay. He’s a bit of a mother hen if I don’t check in.”
Garrett grinned. How lucky were they? And did they know it. That much love after all these years. Kelly read his face, smiled. “Yes, I’ve got it good and so do you. I’ll send him your love,” she said.
“Do that!” Garrett called and stepped out into the October rain.
The outside looked fine but he could smell the sharp, nasty odor of Kevin’s rage as he’d circled the house. Garrett sneezed three times and then went to the back door. He used the key that Liv had given him from her robe pocket. The house smelled like her. Earth and laughter and lavender.
No sound. Just the tick of the oversized clock on the wall and a dripping faucet upstairs. Sunday was being quiet in this house. What would happen Monday, he wondered. Would she call in sick? He’d remind her of the day and let her decide. It was easy losing track of time when your body was morphing.
The phone rang and he jumped before he recognized the sound. Mr. Berger down the street was working on his chain saw, revving it and then cutting it off, revving it and then cutting it off. This must be a fall ritual for him, because he was prone to doing it for about an hour every day since the weather had changed.
“Livvie, Livvie, Livvie! Where are you? Call me! If you don’t call me, I’m going to be sad. Hope your weekend is going well. Hope you’re resting up for Fred’s big slide show tomorrow. Coffee filters have never been this exciting. Especially for us support staff who have nothing to do with the actual selling of our products.” The woman snorted and Garrett smiled. “Oh, this is Ellen, by the way. Which you should know. But just in case you’ve…lost your mind. It’s me! Call me! Later, gator.” And then a beep and she hung up.
That was the one good friend that Liv had mentioned. He was listening to the sounds of a life forever changed. Liv’s old life. He found himself being grateful to the stranger for looking out for Liv. For caring about her. He liked her already and hoped that one day they’d meet.
He touched the small machine and hit something. Gone were the days he remembered of tapes and rewind. It was all digital now. “I came over there this morning, bitch. Your boyfriend was watching me. Were you there, Liv? With him? You’d better hope the answer is no. I’m not done with you. You can’t get rid of me that easily. I don’t care who you’re fucking or how big and strong you think he is. He can’t protect you, Liv. No one can.”
“Wrong,” Garrett said and hit a button marked DEL. It prompted him, Are you sure? He hit enter and the message was gone. It bothered him though. The man truly had no fear if he left proof of his aggression. That could easily be played for cops or judges or anyone who wanted to help her.
He remembered the cocked gun, the cocky look, the lack of true fear. Kevin was a loose cannon. He was a dangerous man. Not so much because he was aggressive and violent but more because he thought he was untouchable. Unstoppable. He was dangerous because he simply didn’t care.
———
Shifting
It felt like she had just closed her eyes but when Liv opened them again, she could tell it was late afternoon. Nearly dusk. The day had flown in a flurry of sleep and flickering dreams that danced around the edge of her awareness but refused to come close enough to be examined.
In the pit of her belly warred worry, excitement and hunger. Liv sniffed. A mélange of smells assaulted her newly sensitive nose. Bacon, cake, cookies, ham, potatoes, the sweet tang of fruit, the rich bitter odor of coffee. All of it swirled around her. She perked her ears, listening intently, but he still startled her.
“Look who’s up,” Garrett said and her heart did a drunken little two-step in her chest. She wanted him all at once the instant he came into view. She wanted to kiss him, press against him, have him hold her, have him take her. She wanted to take him and hug him and lay with him. She wanted to have a lifetime of affection and sex with him in this one instant. Like a starving woman finally being allowed to eat, she couldn’t get a handle on her cravings for him other than they were simply bigger than her.
“I’m up,” she said, smiling. She felt stronger but ravenous.
“Hungry?”
In
response her stomach rumbled greedily and they both laughed. “That answer is, um…yes?”
“Yes. I think that’s the right answer. No worries, Kelly has cooked, baked, prepared and brewed every item of edible foodstuff in this house. You should have no trouble getting full.”
“Am I going to change?” she blurted. Her stomach sizzled with the electric energy she remembered vaguely from her earlier dating experiences. It was a sick mix of dread and butterflies. A roller coaster ride, a winding road.
Garrett stepped in, so big and yet so quiet. Surefooted in a supernatural kind of way. Like watching the ghost of a man who had been big in life. He sat, pulled her close to him. “You will. Tonight. Are you scared?” His voice caught a little when he said it and she could tell it bothered him. Liv wished she could take away his worry but she was having enough trouble wrestling hers.
“I am. I am very scared. But it’s a different kind of fear from what I’m used to.”
“How?” He moved to cover her but she stood. Too much lying around. She’d needed the rest but now her body ached from inactivity and she wanted to eat and move and…fuck. She wanted copious amounts of all of the above. So much so that her body poised on the very edge of chaos. She felt like she could have sex all night, run a marathon, eat an entire restaurant out of its contents. Drink an ocean or a keg of beer. She felt like, quite honestly, she could pick the world up and shift it on its axis if the need arose. And she laughed.
Garrett frowned and that made her laugh harder. “Sorry. How is it different? That fear was helpless fear. This is fear of the unknown. Of what I can do or will do. What I am now as opposed to what I was. But I don’t miss what I was, no sir.” She kissed him, pushing him back, running her tongue over his.
Garrett groaned, raised his head. “You have to eat.”
“But—”
“But nothing. You need to feed the machine, my love, or you will crash and burn. What you used to eat, quadruple it and we’ll see how you do. It still might not be enough.”
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