Lost in the Beat

by Gracen Miller

  Without offering her any solace as to her status on the wrongdoers list, he tapped the ‘call’ button. Setting the car seat on the floor at her feet, she used her palms to rub her arms. Cold or anxious? He banked on the latter.

  “There’s my favorite baby-daddy.” Tab was a bitch and refused to take his shit, which made her a pain in his ass ninety-nine percent of the time, but the woman excelled at her job. For that alone he tolerated her. “You get everything worked out?”

  “Yeah. I’ll explain later. I need everything a baby requires before nightfall.” Dead silence. “Tab?”

  “You were talking to me?” He could picture her pointing at herself while giving him her trademark ‘are you fucking stupid’ stare. Fang’s theory was that she perfected her expressions in lock-up with help from the most sadistic of criminals. It made sense, but Jase thought it went to a deeper, scarier place. The woman was born this way, came out of the womb squalling with attitude, DNA taught intimidation, and hadn’t stopped since.

  “No, bitch, I’m chatting with the Prince of Arabia.” He caught the way Fallon’s eyes widened. “Don’t give me shit today, Tab. Not. Today. I require your help.”

  “Help is one thing, baby shopping—”

  Bullshit meter at an all-time low, he interrupted. “You gonna help by getting someone on this or risk your Christmas bonus?”

  Tab snorted. “I’ll get someone on it, but not because of a measly Christmas bonus.”

  She disconnected the call without so much as a fuck off. A moment later she pinged him with a text: U owe me I’ll set up interviews. =D

  The smiley face at the end had him shaking his head.

  Media-pushing whore.

  That was the Tab he really despised, but secret babies was newsworthy. He’d already mentally prepared himself for the fallout.

  One-handed he texted his sister, let her know they were headed home, and then pocketed his phone.

  “I have everything Faith needs at my apartment.”

  “I’m sure.” He was positive it was all inferior quality just like the car seat.

  “Whoever you just talked to doesn’t need to purchase more.”

  “You already forgetting the part of our agreement where I provide everything for her?”

  Exasperation glinted in her eyes. “Extreme overspending isn’t necessary.”

  “Says the one without the money.” Needling folks came naturally. And despite her status as mother to his child, he felt no shame. She’d hidden his daughter from him. He didn’t know how long it’d take him to get over that. Besides, how callous did one have to be to do that? He suspected one that had no intentions of ever informing him of her conception. “Did you even plan on telling me about Faith?”

  With no intention of asking the question, he didn’t retract it either. He wanted an answer to that. Jase watched Fallon closely, gauging her reaction. She swallowed, the action noticeable along the line of her neck. He’d had his tongue on her neck when he fucked her and had little difficulty recalling how satiny her skin had been beneath his lick.

  He shook the thought away as she folded her forearms over her stomach. Her fingertips whitened as she gripped her arms. All the answer he needed.

  “Goddamn it, you’re a heartless bitch.” The perfect complement to my asshole ways.

  She flinched. “I had my reasons.”

  “Evasive answer.”

  She looked away.

  He’d witnessed her anxiety when he threatened to fight for full custody. “But it validates my reasons for full custody.” Her panicked gaze slammed into him. Before she could reply, he said, “If I decide to go that route.”

  Would he? He couldn’t honestly say. Staring into her green eyes at this moment, her love for their child was evident in her eyes, and he seriously doubted he could torment her with a custody case. Besides, a child deserved both parents.

  “Is this what it’s going to be like between us until she turns a year old?” She motioned to him, then herself. “You sniping at me?”

  “I hope the fuck not.” Jase tucked hair behind his ear. “Try to put yourself in my shoes for a moment. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?”

  She grimaced. “That ate at me all the time.”

  “Not enough apparently.”

  “Won’t you try to look at it from my angle?”

  “I already have. You think I’d make a bad father.”

  “That’s not true.”

  Total bullshit, but he gave her a look that called her on the line. “I’m sure you could lobby a fine protest on my behavior. But then that’d be the pot calling the kettle black.”

  “We all make mistakes.”

  “Some of us more than others.” Her mouth parted, but he talked over her. “You damn sure believe there’s no place in my life for a child. That I can’t love her and give her the time the way a father should.”

  She shrugged. “You of all people know how hard it is to raise someone on the road.”

  She had to be referring to his sister. “Sam turned out fine.”

  Fallon snorted. “It’s reflected in her criminal record.”

  The fine hairs on his nape staged a protest. “Be very careful, sweetheart. That’s my sister. No one fucks with my family without retaliation.” She looked away with a sexy little huff, but he wasn’t finished. “Besides, you don’t know Sam. You only know what the media portrays. There are two sides to any story. You don’t get to criticize her.”

  “You’re right. That was a cheap shot at your parenting skills. Each child is different.”

  His anger skyrocketed straight to livid. The nerve of the woman judging them!

  Inhaling slowly, he could admit they were both angry. His anger was a large part of why he was lashing out. She should be pleased he was as calm as he was. He imagined most men wouldn’t be as practical about this situation as he was being. She couldn’t expect too much from him until he’d had time to cool down, but judging his sister went too far.

  The elevator stopped on their floor, and he motioned for her to precede him. In silence he guided her to his vehicle.

  “You drive a Land Rover?” Fallon gaped at the black car as if she couldn’t see him driving it.

  I do prefer my Lamborghini, but safety first for my little girl.

  “Rockers aren’t all pomp and glam.” A smile ghosted across her face, and she shook her head as if she wouldn’t have believed it without seeing it. “We have sensible sides too.”

  “This is all pomp and glam. Totally a rock star car.”

  Unsure how to respond to what she obviously saw as predictable, he pointed at the car seat in her grasp. “You need to plug in that contraption because I don’t have a clue how it works.”

  Fallon secured the safety seat, and then took Faith into her arms. Taking an instant liking to his daughter nestled in her mother’s arms, his cock wrestled with his zipper’s security. Who knew the woman could get sexier? Better question…why was his body interested in her when he was so furious with her?

  He prudently maintained his eyes off her face. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t trust himself not to press her spine against the car and have his mouth on hers a breath later.

  Jase strode around the vehicle and slid behind the steering wheel. She’d clicked her belt into place and stared at him before he was secure. He glanced at her.

  “Smells new.”

  He started the engine. “So?”

  “So you just bought this didn’t you?”

  He checked his surroundings. “Safety first when it comes to my little girl.”

  “You might not be so bad after all, Mr. Collins.”

  “Don’t take away my horns just yet.” I’m partial to them. And they might make handy anchors to hold onto when he fucked her next time.

  Fuck! He raked his fingers through his hair. Faith cooed in the backseat. Fallon gave him a curious look. It was such a domestic moment, and his life suddenly felt surreal.

  Baby-momma is off limits!
He suffered a nagging suspicion that would be a tough mantra to stick to.

  “And cut out the ‘Mr. Collins’ bullshit. I fucked you. We created life together. ‘Mr. Collins’ is a bit stuffy to be calling someone you did all that with.”

  Fallon’s breath caught, certain her heart had relocated to her throat. The way he put it—created life together—made their time together sound more intimate than it had been. Yeah, he’d been inside her, taught her carnal pleasures, but they hadn’t been emotionally connected.

  She worked on catching her breath by inhaling and exhaling in slowed measured breaths. Frazzled by watching Jase interact with Faith, she really needed to get her act together. So what, the man was sexy! Get over it!

  She sighed, confused why the one man that affected her like no other ever had couldn’t be the right one for her. Until the night they conceived Faith¸ she’d avoided bad boys at all costs. She’d avoided any man that appealed to her until he came along. And it’d been easy avoiding guys until she met him. Jase had this magnetism that infected her with idiocy, and she floundered to explain it.

  “Can you run by my place so I can grab some necessary stuff?” She folded her arms over her abdomen, pretending interest in LA’s traffic.

  Without looking at her, he said in a monotone voice, “I’ll send someone to box up your belongings.”

  “No way is someone going through my lingerie drawer.”

  That got his attention. His gaze snapped to hers, and his nostrils flared. His bottom lip parted from the top just enough a breath could hiss through his teeth. His gaze dropped to her breasts, then lower, before whipping back to the road. In those split seconds beneath his penetrating regard she got the feeling he imagined her wearing her underwear. Not like he hadn’t seen her up close and personal in her birthday suit. Of course he probably didn’t remember what they’d done that evening, or how she looked, but she sure as hell remembered it all. In explicit detail.

  “I mapped your address. No way are you taking my daughter back to that crime-infested war-zone.” Gaze straight ahead, she still managed to catch his frown. “You want to risk your life, have at it.”

  “It’s not that bad.” Fallon licked her lips and smoothed her dress over her legs.

  Jase grunted his disagreement.

  Okay, so it wasn’t the safest locale. She’d never had any problems living there, but she’d also had five deadbolts in place and kept a low profile. The known drug dealer on her floor had recently offered her his personal protection. That offer of security had come with an expiration date, and she’d worried what would happen when she didn’t meet his sexual demands at the end of the month.

  “We have very different definitions of bad then.”

  “Look Mr. High-and-Mighty-Rock-Star….” Why was she getting so defensive about her residence? It was a dump, and she wasn’t normally this uptight about it. “Not all of us are living it up on caviar and champagne.”

  He grinned.

  She swore to God her panties ignited at his hot-as-fucking-sin smile.

  “For the record, sweetheart—”

  “I am not your sweetheart.”

  “—I don’t like caviar or champagne. Beer, hard liquor, Alabama football, and pussy are my vices. And not necessarily in that order.”

  “God, you’re a crass asshole.” So why’d he affect her libido so much despite his assholery?

  “I am what I am. I make no apologies.”

  He didn’t have to make apologies. The world adored him regardless of his crude behavior. Probably loved him more because of his tactless attitude.

  His knuckles whitened on the steering wheel when he made a left hand turn, driving into the ritzier side of Los Angeles. Tenseness saturated the cramped space.

  “Too fucking bad if you don’t like me.” His body language and hard tone said it mattered a great deal to him. “You came to me—a total stranger—to get laid, and now you want my money. I’d say that’s all the approval I need.”

  If he thought she would put up with his arrogant bullshit for the next eight months he was dead wrong. Fallon twisted just enough in her seat to face him. She hooked her fingers beneath the seatbelt’s shoulder strap, while mentally preparing herself to go head-to-head with him. “I’d never even heard of Hot Wired until your concert.” That confession sent rivulets of confusion across his forehead. Before he could ask, she explained how her sorority sisters duped her into joining them. “My sorority sisters wanted to be groupies, not me. I didn’t plan to sleep with you. I had a plan for my future, and you weren’t part of it. Did you even wonder why I was wearing a ‘Jesus loves you’ T-shirt to a rock concert? Or are you so conceited you figured that was a ploy to get your attention? If you even remember that shirt.”

  “You’ll get along just fine with my sister,” he mumbled, and she thought there was a hint of a smile along his lips.

  “Pardon me?”

  Jase stopped at a red light. Humor blazed from his indigo eyes when he turned his head to face her. The ends of his dark-brown hair teased his shoulders, framing his face with bad-boy hotness. “I do remember the shirt. It was pink. And tight enough it highlighted your tits. I wondered about it, but it was you that caught my attention, not your garment. I didn’t even notice the words on it until I took it off you.” The apprehension in the vehicle went from awkward to sweltering and he kept right on talking, his focus so strong it challenged her to maintain eye contact. “Even if you had of told me you were a devout Christian there to save my soul, or that you were the Virgin Mary, I would’ve still fucked you. I wanted inside you worse than I had any woman in a long time. I did things to you I hadn’t done to a woman in even longer.”

  She would’ve asked for specifics, but forgot when he slid his palms along the steering wheel. She shivered remembering how he’d slid them along her body that evening.

  He faced the road and set the car back in motion. His voice emerged a little rougher. “The fact remains that you came to me both times. Regardless of the outcome, I regret neither occasion.”

  Her heart slammed against her chest at his last confession. No way to decipher the meaning of her reaction, she figured it prudent to alter the subject. “I should’ve told you about Faith sooner.”

  He shrugged, but she knew her silence mattered a great deal to him. He’d already made that clear.

  “I really didn’t think you’d want her in your life. And a good part of that thinking was based upon erroneous assumptions. I shouldn’t have judged you.”

  “Apology accepted.”

  She hadn’t really apologized, and he should’ve made her. It confounded her that he forgave so easily.

  “I make it a habit of moving forward rather than living in my past mistakes.” Fallon couldn’t decide if that was the truth or bullshit. If the truth, then Jase was a better man than most. He added, “Grudges aren’t my thing.”

  Even if he was being honest, she knew it’d take time for his anger to recede.

  Traffic grew sparser as he navigated up the side of a hill.

  Fallon chewed on the inside of her cheek, pondering his assertion, while cringing on the inside. She could see why he thought Faith would be a mistake, even if she were the best thing that’d ever happened to her. Taking blame for her part in Faith’s conception wasn’t a hardship though. “Faith was our mistake don’t you mean? Not just yours.”

  “No. From where I’m sitting the only mistake I see is yours, when you didn’t tell me about Faith.” He sent her a quick glance, but long enough of a gander that she could determine his seriousness with ease. “Her conception might’ve been an accident, but no mistake.”

  How’d she combat his logic? She couldn’t, not when she agreed with him. And to know he already cared about their daughter within hours of making her acquaintance gave her hope for Faith’s future with a father. But worried her for the safety of her heart.

  He must not’ve sensed her emotions because he kept on talking. “I’m a big boy, I can take my part
of the blame. You were a novice, and I should’ve used protection. I was so caught up in y—doesn’t matter, I should’ve strapped on a condom.” The slide of his thumb along her cheek startled her.

  She glanced at him, only then realizing he’d stopped the vehicle in a garage. He watched her, his eyes glossy with something she couldn’t identify. “I promise you, Faith will never want for anything ever again. I take care of what’s mine.”

  His expression said she was his too and not just Faith. She swallowed past the boulder-size lump in her throat. “Thank you.”

  His fingers slid into her hair and weeded through the strands. Was he thinking of when he had buried his hands in her locks while he moved inside her? Aside from the surprise of the initial pain of his penetration, she’d enjoyed being with him. She’d gleaned from her sisters that sex wasn’t always great, but depended on the lover. Jase was a fantastic lover, obviously.

  The door to the garage clicked open, and a dark-haired girl with a pink streak poked her head out. Jase sat straight and waved at the intruder. From the media’s coverage, Fallon identified her as his sister.

  “Give Sam a chance,” he said. “She’s nowhere near as bad as the press makes her out.”

  Before he could finish the final sentence, his sister was doing an excited dance at the driver-side door. She rapped her fingernails on the window. “Unlock this door, you selfish-ass!”

  “She’s excited about being an aunt.” He winked at Fallon as he depressed the unlock button. A second later Sam tore into the car and climbed into the back seat next to the car seat Faith was strapped into.