A Dance for Him

by Richard, Lara

  It’s Lloyd again. He’s been sending me the occasional email asking about homework, in a way that suggests he’s fishing for a meeting, and I’ve just politely answered his questions while pretending to be oblivious to the subtext, hoping that he’ll get the hint. He’s a nice boy, but it’s getting embarrassing …

  “Hi Lloyd.”

  “So, how are your weekends these days? You’ve been so helpful I’d really like to buy you dinner some time.”

  Poor Lloyd. I wish I didn’t have to do this.

  “Oh, Lloyd, I’m sorry. It’s sweet of you to offer but my weekends are kind of taken up by my boyfriend these days.”

  He looks surprised and perhaps just a tiny bit disappointed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

  “Oh, it’s … it’s a very recent thing. It just … happened. I, uh, wasn’t really expecting it to happen.”

  “Oh, no worries, all cool.”

  “You’re still quite welcome to email me anytime if you have any questions, you know,” I say apologetically, my voice trailing off nervously - but it’s not on Lloyd’s account.

  It’s because Sebastian’s just walked in, right when I was telling Lloyd he could email me anytime, and his face has gone from cheery and relaxed to being pale and furious.

  I look at him, wide-eyed and placating, but it seems he’ll have none of it.

  “Good morning, everyone,” he says, his voice steely, harsh, his gaze firmly averted from mine. “So, does anyone have questions about last week’s readings?”

  He doesn’t look at me at any point all through class, not even when he dismisses us - he simply goes over to his desk and looks at something on his laptop.

  It doesn’t help that Jasmine gloms onto him before I can say anything, and even though I linger, pretending to check my phone, he doesn’t do anything to conclude his conversation with her.

  Finally I walk out, hoping that he’ll stop me like he did the other time (how long ago that seems now!).

  But he doesn’t - he ignores me completely, doesn’t even turn his head to look at me as I walk past him.

  He can’t possibly be that jealous, can he? I mean, it’s crazy, all I did was tell Lloyd he could email me anytime, it’s not like I was flirting with him or anything.

  Unless he’s now decided to move on to Jasmine or something … A terrible thought, and even though I tell myself it can’t possibly be, he’s probably just jealous, because even if he’d decided he was tired of me, he couldn’t possibly be quite that cruel, could he?

  I’m feeling so sickened that I don’t even register the familiar footsteps behind me until I hear his voice.

  “Ms. Lytton,” I hear him say from behind. “If we could speak for a moment.”

  I pause, and he catches up with me.

  “I’d like to talk to you in my office for a moment, if I may.”

  I nod.

  “Thank you,” he says, but he still looks pale and grim - his jaw is set tightly, his arms are crossed, and his nostrils are flaring.

  He’s definitely not happy.

  We walk silently to his office, and when we get there, he doesn’t ask me to sit down, or even attempt to touch me in any way.

  Instead, he closes the door and leans against it.

  He suddenly seems tired, terribly tired.

  I look at him, unsure, a bit frightened. I want to stroke his hair and tell him everything is all right, but I somehow feel that that wouldn’t necessarily make things any better, and so I refrain.

  “Paige,” he says, his voice softer, as though he’s picked up on my trepidation. “I just want to make it very clear that you are under no obligation to keep seeing me if you don’t want to. My offer of financial aid still stands, but I don’t want to keep seeing you if that’s the only reason you’re doing it.”

  What?

  “B-but -” I stammer.

  He sighs.

  “You’re young and beautiful, and perhaps you want a more normal life than what I can offer. That’s fine. Better now than later.”

  “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

  “He’s so much more normal, isn’t he?” he snaps suddenly, turning away from me and walking to the other side of the room, where he irritably moves some files around. “Nice fresh-faced boy, he probably can give you the white picket fence you want, with none of the perversion …”

  Where the hell did that come from?

  But now I’m annoyed as well.

  “Is this really about Lloyd, or are you just trying to get rid of me, so you can start on Jasmine?”

  He laughs bitterly. “I’m not the one inviting her to drop me an email anytime. I’m her professor, I’m obliged to answer her questions. I’m quite aware she’s trying to hit on me, I think it’s pathetic, especially since she’s a bratty nitwit, but what the fuck am I supposed to do. Whereas Lloyd’s been after you for weeks, and you haven’t exactly been disencouraging him, have you?”

  “Does telling him I have a boyfriend count as ‘disencouraging him’?” I say, exasperated.

  He looks at me, stunned, silent for a moment.

  “You told him you have a boyfriend?”

  Great, maybe now he’s going to freak out on me about that. Well, whatever, he kind of asked for it …

  “Yes, he was trying to ask me out again, for dinner this weekend. I told him my weekends were taken up by my new boyfriend, but if he had any questions about homework, he could feel free to email me. You walked in just when I was finishing that sentence.”

  “You looked nervous when you saw me.”

  “I’m always a bit nervous when I see you in class. Surely you’ve noticed that. I mean, you’re my professor, we’re not supposed to be sleeping with each other, I’m always worried people are going to pick up on something. I don’t exactly want to get you into trouble. Besides, you looked absolutely furious, of course I was going to be nervous, even if I wasn’t already.”

  “Oh, Paige,” he says, and moves forward to take me in his arms, which he does a bit tentatively, as though half-expecting to be rejected. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I should have trusted you.”

  I throw my arms around his neck, and he kisses me very tenderly.

  “Do you really think of me that way, though? ... I mean, as your boyfriend?” he murmurs afterwards. “You know, not just your old professor who’s rather good when it comes to giving you orgasms.”

  I still have no idea why he’d be so diffident about himself (if not his bedroom skills!) when he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever met, but I can’t help but feel terribly touched.

  “Oh, Sebastian,” I whisper as I meet his dark, beautiful, questioning gaze. “You’re not old, you’re just thirty-five, I looked up your bio on the internet when I first met you. I did that because you were hot, so hot, and I had the biggest crush on you ever. And you don’t even look thirty-five. You’re my incredibly hot professor whom I adore, and the only reason I haven’t used the word ‘boyfriend’ to your face is because I don’t want to be presumptuous and freak you out or something.”

  He’s gone from being deathly pale to practically glowing, all within minutes.

  “Oh God no,” he says, kissing me. “No, you wouldn’t have freaked me out in the least. My girl. How I’ve wanted to say that since our first conversation here. Do you still remember that? We were talking about Hamlet, and I remember thinking, fuck, why couldn’t I have met her anywhere else but here …”

  “Oh, Sebastian.”

  He strokes my cheek gently. “You know, I hate that we have to be so secretive. I wish we could just be open about seeing each other. It would make things so much easier.”

  “It’s almost the end of the term,” I murmur consolingly.

  He sighs.

  “We should probably still be discreet even next term. At least for the first half of the term. I don’t want anyone questioning your grades. Your work’s been excellent, and you’d have got
ten the same grades even if you were a troll under a bridge, but you know what people might say. And yes, technically we’re not supposed to be seeing each other, so I can’t really do the full disclosure thing and have someone else grade your final exam. I feel bad about that, even though I know for a fact that we’re not trading sex for grades or anything like that, and I’m sure you’re quite aware of that as well. Although at least it’s your last year here, so in a few months we won’t have to hide anything.”

  Oh my God, he’s thinking that far ahead? I guess he must be serious about the boyfriend thing.

  “On the other hand,” he continues, “I’ve been thinking about this even before today, and I’d really like to take you out on a date. A proper date, not just dinner and sex at my house. Don’t get me wrong, I love fucking you, and I’d still want to take you home and fuck you silly afterwards, but I don’t want this - us - to be just some kind of hookup thing, that’s all. You deserve something better than that.”

  “But what if we were to run into someone from school?”

  His face lights up with a roguish smile.

  “I’ve already thought of that. Of course we wouldn’t go to some place near campus. But I’ve never run into any of my colleagues where I live, they all live closer to campus. And there’s a fantastic restaurant just a short drive away from my house. Nice little place, great atmosphere. I’d like to take you there for dinner. Maybe on Friday, what do you think? And if you don’t have any homework to deal with, you could stay the whole weekend at my place if you like.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Well, the “nice little place, great atmosphere” turned out to be an incredibly expensive restaurant, the sort of place the beautiful people go to, the sort of place that one might see while thumbing through some magazine at the hairdresser’s.

  In other words, definitely not the sort of place I’d expect ever to be in.

  Which is why I’m at the mall, looking for a nice dress that’s sexy in a more understated way - obviously I can’t wear what I usually wear when I go to see him, but I can’t possibly show up in college casual either. Besides, I figure he’s been so generous with me that it would be nice to get something that’d be just for him, not something that I’ve worn at the club ...

  I’ve already gone to a few stores, the ones I know better, but nothing seems right so far. I’m still wandering around when I hear a familiar voice behind me.

  “Tiffany! How are you? It’s been such a long time!”

  For a moment I barely recognise her - she’s in t-shirt and jeans with minimal makeup on, accompanied by a little boy, quite different from the slinky showgirl I remember from the club, but her voice is unmistakable, as are her kindly eyes.

  “Oh my God, Brandi, it’s good to see you!”

  We hug.

  “So you quit the club, I heard? What happened? I was kind of worried about you when you just disappeared all of a sudden, but I didn’t know how to contact you. Then Jeff told me you’d called in to say you were quitting, so I figured at least that you were okay …”

  “Oh Brandi, I’m sorry I worried you, I didn’t know how to contact you either …”

  “So what’s up? New scholarship? Won the lotto?”

  I laugh, the color rising to my cheeks.

  “Oh God, no. No. I, uh, met someone.”

  “Ooh, tell me more.”

  “He’s - he’s really sweet, he offered to help me out so that I wouldn’t have to work at the club.”

  “Ah, he’s rich then.”

  “It’s not like that, I swear. He’s incredibly hot, I’d be going out with him even if he hadn’t made me that offer.”

  “Hm, incredibly hot eh? He’s not that nice young man who booked you for over an hour the last time you were at the club, is he?”

  I raise an eyebrow and give her a teasing side-eye. “So you think he’s incredibly hot too? Haha, I’m going to have to keep him away from you, I see.”

  “Oh my God so it is him? Whoa, you go girl! Young, handsome and rich, wants to take care of you … what was that you were saying about not having won the lotto? What does he do? Businessman of some sort?”

  I can’t help but smile at the idea of Sebastian being a businessman, it’s so unlike him, my dreamy, passionate intellectual.

  “Him? Oh no, he’s not a businessman,” I say, suddenly unsure about how much detail I should go into. “He’s got some family money, I think. But enough about me, how have you been?”

  “Things are fine, I’m probably quitting the club soon as well. I’m almost done with beauty school, so I should be starting my new job soon - because I found one, at a really nice spa.”

  “Oh my God, congratulations, that’s great news!”

  “It’ll be more hours than at the club, obviously, but I’ll just park Bobby at my sister’s on weekends once I start at the spa. Oh, and yes Bobby, say hello to Auntie Tiffany.”

  He waves when I say hello, then moves to hide behind Brandi.

  “He’s very shy,” she says apologetically. “And I actually really should be going, I need to drop him off, I’m going to the club tonight. But it was good to see you, college girl. I’m glad things are going well for you. All the best with your guy, yeah? I don’t know if we’ll ever run into each other again but it was nice knowing you.”

  “Oh, Brandi. Don’t say that. I’d like to stay in touch if you’d like to as well. You were so kind to me at the club. Like the big sister I never had.”

  She smiles, looking rather touched. “Well, you were a nice young thing. And you weren’t snotty like some of the college girls who’ve worked at the club in the past - you know, the kind who think they’re better than we are because they’re just doing it temporarily before they move on to bigger, better things … Yeah, sure, it’ll be nice to have coffee and catch up every now and then. Why don’t I give you my number, and you can text me so I’ll have your number.”

  I hand her my phone and she enters her number, then hands it to me.

  I look through it, but her name isn’t there.

  “But I don’t see your name there.”

  She smiles. “Oh, I forgot to mention, my name isn’t Brandi, of course, it’s Ashley. Ashley Taylor.”

  “Oh, of course, ha, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve figured that one out. Because of course I’m not Tiffany either, my name’s actually Paige.”

  “Hello, Paige,” she says, grinning, “nice to meet you. Well I really have to go now so just send me that text won’t you? Okay, Bobby, say goodbye to Auntie Paige and we’ll be on our way.”

  I text her back immediately, of course, and I’m not really expecting an answer to what is simply an exchange of numbers, but later, when I’ve found my dress and am walking out to my car, a text comes through from her.

  “Nice running into you, Paige. By the way there was something I should have told you earlier. The creep’s been showing up at the club a lot since you left, I hear from the other girls he’s been asking after you, trying to find out more about you. Probably not anything to really worry about but I thought you should know. Take care.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  It’s Friday evening, and we’re off to the restaurant. He insisted on picking me up - I guess he wanted it to be as much like a date as possible.

  And it is.

  Although, if truth be told, it isn’t just like a date, in fact I feel like I’ve been whisked off by the prince in some kind of fairytale.

  He’s looking particularly dapper today - I’ve never seen him formally dressed, and it suits him, the cut of his elegant jacket emphasizing his broad shoulders and chest, the drape of his trousers hinting at his narrow hips. He’s always delicious, of course, but right now he looks like someone out of a movie.

  If I’d first met him in this guise, rather than in his preppy but slightly rumpled professorial persona, I’d probably never have dared to talk to him.

  I’m so glad I bought that dress! It isn’t anywhere near as fancy as what
he’s wearing, but at least it doesn’t look as out of place beside him as anything else in my wardrobe would have been.

  And he seems to like it too, thank heavens.

  When I showed up he was waiting for me outside his expensive sports car (leaning elegantly against it, of course, just like in the movies), and let out a low whistle when he saw me - kissed me, then opened the door for me and closed it after me.

  We made out for a bit when he got into the car as well, but it didn’t go any further than that - he said that if we got any more carried away he’d probably need to fuck me right there and then, which under any other circumstances would be fine, but we had a dinner reservation, and he’d rather we saved the playing for later, when there would be more time.

  So now we’ve just gotten out to the highway after a bit of difficult traffic, and he must be more relaxed, because he’s just reached over to rest his hand on my thigh as he turns and smiles at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road.

  “So we should be there soon. You know, Paige, you look absolutely gorgeous today. Of course, you’re a very beautiful young woman, and so that’s hardly difficult for you to do, but you’re positively stunning in that dress. I really should take you on more dates, shouldn’t I?”

  “I’m glad you like it,” I reply. “I actually went and bought it yesterday … After I Googled the restaurant name I thought I’d better find something a bit more appropriate.”

  He glances over at me again, pensive at first, before he smiles somewhat naughtily at me, as though a thought had just occurred to him.

  “You know what, Paige? One of these days we’re going to go and shop for clothes for you. I want you to have whatever you like.”

  “Oh, Sebastian. It’s very sweet of you but I’d feel bad about it. You’re already being so kind about everything …”

  “There’s no need to mention that, Paige. I want to, you know? There’s something about you that just makes me want to take care of you. And it’s not exactly as though I can’t afford it …”

  “I know that isn’t an issue. It’s just that it’s so Pretty Woman, you know - I guess it’d make me feel like a mistress rather than a girlfriend.”