A Hood Chick's Story pt. 3: The Final Chapter

by LaShonda DeVaughn

  “I wrote a book, I’m gonna send it to you, it’s called, A message to young thugs and hustlers.” He said.

  “That’s hot Tony. You know I’ll help you publish it, whatever you need. I owe you the world.”

  He cut me off. “T, you don’t owe me shit. I told you what I wanted from you.” He said seriously.

  “And what’s that?” I asked.

  “For you to be happy. Are you happy?”

  “Yeah, I guess I am.” I said thinking about how wonderful Jeff was to me and the kids.

  “As long as you are happy Tiara, then so am I.” Tony stated.

  “Aww, thank you.” I expressed.

  “Is he good to my babies?” He asked tearing up, thumbing through the pictures.

  “He’s excellent to the kids Tony.”

  Tony sank his head down and silently cried.

  “Tony you’re gonna have me in here crying.” I said wiping the tears forming in my eyes.

  “Tell my babies I love them and I’ll always love you Tiara.”

  I grabbed his hand again. “Tony, thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t have survived half the shit I been through without you and I wanted to tell you that you will always mean the world to me.”

  “There is nothing you need to thank me for. Everything I done for you, I did it for love. You’ll always be my lady in here.” He said pointing to his heart. I got so sentimental, I had to turn away.

  As visiting hours ended, Tony embraced me and squeezed me long and tight. I closed my eyes and smelled him. Through the rough prison scent, he still smelled like the man I fell in love with. We shared a bond that was unbreakable and I still loved him to death.

  “I can’t wait to read your book.” I told him.

  He smiled. “I got something in the package for the babies too. Make sure you give it to them.”

  “I will.” I said.

  He paused. “I love you Tiara.” He said letting his tears fall freely this time.

  “I love you too Tony, always will.” I smiled.

  “Remember me.” He said.

  “Always.” I said with a smile.

  Our good bye seemed so final, but I was determined to keep our visits frequent.

  That Monday, I received the package in the mail. It had a letter in it revealing how sorry and regretful he was that he touched Ashley after the whole ordeal with Shawn and that he never meant to hurt me in any way. He mentioned that he loved me since the first day that he met me and that his love for me never died. Also included were Tony’s book and the picture that he wanted me to give to the kids. It was a heart drawn out in red that said T-N-T through the middle. Under it, read Tony and Tiara for life. Beneath the heart were pictures sketched of the kids just as Tony remembered them. The pictures and the letter warmed my heart.

  Never forget me. It said at the bottom right hand corner and I couldn’t help but cry.

  “Baby, come get the phone.” Jeff yelled out.

  “Hello.” I said.

  “Tiara James?”

  “Yes.” I answered.

  “There’s been an accident.”

  I dropped everything and rushed to the prison feeling numb. The guards came out wearing masks of sadness and that’s when I realized what happened.

  “Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed.

  “Noo, please tell me it’s not true!!!” I cried

  “Tony killed himself this morning.” A female guard explained.

  I fainted right there in the lobby.

  I woke up in the hospital with Jeff by my side, caressing my right hand. Aunty was in the hospital room with more of Tony’s family from the area.

  “Tiara, Tony’s mom is on her way here from Boston.” Aunty explained which confirmed that the news I remembered hearing before I fainted wasn’t a bad dream.

  “Why would he kill himself?” I questioned out loud.

  “Because he couldn’t be with you.” Aunty said with sad eyes. I sat with what she stated and it made me even sadder. I suddenly pictured Tony and the thought of him being gone made me weak. This was why our last good bye felt so final.

  Everyone had their heads down and stood around silently with grieving faces. Then, Ebony walked in.

  “Get her the FUCK out of here!!!” I shouted. I hopped off the hospital bed and rushed over to fuck her up again. Tony’s family held me back and Jeff backed me into a corner.

  “I just came to show my condolences, he was my cousin.” Ebony said.

  “Bitch you snitched on him. You killed him, you killed Tony!!! If it wasn’t for you he wouldn’t have gotten locked up and he’d still be here bitch!” I cried.

  “I’m sorry Tiara, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I told on him because I loved you and I wanted you to be with someone who deserved you. I never meant for something like this to happen!” She cried trying to explain herself. But it was too late, the damage was done and as far as I was concerned, she was still as good as dead to me.

  “Fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!” I shouted loudly trying to hop over everyone to get to her. I wanted to get at her again. Her actions had hurt me so bad; I regretted befriending her and treating her like family in the first place. And I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to show her face at the hospital.

  A barrage of doctors and nurses ran into the room and told the family that they had to help calm me down.

  Jeff backed me into a corner in the room. He was so gentle and comforting; he held me and brushed his fingers through my hair. “Baby, it’s going to be okay. You’re gonna have to realize that I am here too. I’m your fiancé baby, you are not going through this alone Tiara.”

  Jeff was right but I was too hurt to take in what he was saying. I was crumbling and felt like I would never be pieced back together.

  Chapter 19

  I flew Tony’s family back to Boston and I threw him one of the biggest funerals the hood has ever seen. You would have thought that the President had died. I rented the most elaborate limos and purchased the most expensive flowers. The limo played music and It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye resonated through the streets. The same streets we grew up on and Tony hustled his heart out on.

  The baby was still too young to understand what was going on but Shayonna took Tony’s death extremely hard. Jeff was the best at helping us get through our grieving. Luckily it was the off season and he was right there by my side making sure that me and Shayonna got the comfort we needed from him.

  I was in deep thought thinking about Tony in the limo. I thought about how crazy he was, how loving he was and how real he was. How many niggas you know say that they will kill for you and really mean it? This nigga really killed a nigga over me, he hated to see me hurt and I hated to see anything happen to him. Now, he was gone, and I’d never see him again. I remember questioning Tony and asking if he loved money more than me. Now I was finally convinced that he loved me more than life itself and I felt foolish for ever questioning his sincerity. Nicki Minaj’s song came to mind, Youuuu see righhht through me, how do you do that shit, how do you do that shit! I smiled thinking about how that song played the night Tony asked me to marry him again. I closed my eyes and pretended like I was still in his arms and it hurt so bad because he was the only man that could see through me, he knew everything about me. He could complete my sentences and finish my thoughts. I was slapped in the face again with reality when I opened my eyes and looked out the limo window.

  We had pulled up to the cemetery and hundreds of friends and family were already there. Most of the dudes had on shirts that read RIP T-Money with different pictures of him on the front. It was hard for me to look at the shirts because seeing his picture made me weak. I couldn’t stomach the hurt. My mom and Jeff rubbed mine and Shayonna’s backs as they lowered Tony’s body six feet into the ground. I kept on my dark shades to hide the deep pain I was feeling while watching the man that had taught me so much be lowered into the earth.

  “Noooooooo!!!!!” Tony’s mom screamed out making most o
f the guests cry even harder. I noticed a girl crying loud and hard to my far right and she looked familiar. Then I realized that it was Ashley. She was holding her son’s hand and he looked just like he did in the picture Renee sent me but he was just a little older. And he still looked like the spitting image of Tony.

  I bent to place rose petals into the hole where Tony’s casket lay and I whispered, “Rest peacefully Tony. Give Sharod my love and save a spot for me. I love you.”

  “I love you Daddy.” Shayonna said tossing a single red rose into the grave pit. Jeff came to our aid and held us in his arms. After the Prayer, Jeff led us back to the limo, I kissed my mom and told her that I’d call her and we drove away. Shayonna and I lay on Jeff’s chest in the limo while Aunty and Tony’s mom held onto both of my sons. Jeff was rubbing our backs and telling us that everything was going to be okay. He promised that he’d be there for us for as long as we had to grieve, he was so good understanding and good to me.

  Epilogue

  I ended up publishing Tony’s book, A message to young thugs and hustlers. The whole hood supported it and it actually ended up on the New York Times Bestseller List. Public speakers used it for reference when they spoke at prison and detention facilities. It was funny because even in his death, Tony was a hustler. He knew that by sending me that book that I would get it out to the masses, no questions asked. And since I didn’t want for nothing, I sent the royalties to his family and even broke off Ashley. The baby was the innocent party and it was no sense in me holding anything against the baby. He was a part of Tony so it was my duty to make sure he was straight.

  Months had passed since Tony’s death and I was still having a hard time coping with letting him go. I still cried all the time and had a hard time with resuming a normal life. I sat at my kitchen table and rubbed my hand across the picture of the Heart and T-N-T that Tony sent the kids and I tucked it inside my Bible. I peered over into the living room at Jeff and the kids. They all laughed hard and played together on the floor in our large colonial home having a great time. They were jumping all over him, laughing and giggling. Suddenly I realized that I couldn’t keep neglecting my immediate family. I had a great man, I was wealthy and my family was secure. I had the life that most chicks from the hood yearned for. I had put in so much work in and out of the hood, it was finally time for Tiara to be taken care of. I had to leave the past behind and only carry over the memories. They say that in the hood, you don’t have to join the army to go to war, but I fought through that shit like a trained soldier. Now I sat in a position where I didn’t need to fight anymore. It was time for me to be happy and to embrace the love I had at home.

  I slowly made my way into the living room, walking up to my family. “Come on Mommy.” Shayonna said pulling me into the fun. I displayed a smile and carried on with my family. I smiled at the thought of Tony. His last wish for me was to make sure that I was happy and that I found someone who could give me what he probably could never provide. Jeff was a great man, he never cheated on me. He loved Shayonna like she was his own and he was a great father to our new additions. God blessed me with all that I needed in Jeff, he was everything to me. I felt comfort in knowing that I kept my promise to Tony. Tre was coming home soon and thanks to Tony for reuniting me and my mom, we managed to recover our relationship. I knew that both Sharod and Tony were smiling down and proud of my new journey. I had to realize that life was a blessing no matter what hand you’re dealt. And finally, I found my happiness and life from here on out for me would be good. Finally.

  Rest In Paradise Tony….I’ll always love you and remember you. I’ll carry you with me wherever I go. Finally, I am happy…thank you Tony, for everything…

  Tiara James

  T-N-T

  Acknowledgements

  GOD, you are everything to me. Thank you for all that you’ve done for me and my family. Without you, I would be nothing and I truly thank you with all of me. To my beautiful children, Shyna and DeVandre, you two continue to keep me inspired, your little smiles, kisses and hugs are worth more than gold. Mommy loves you eternally. To my little brother, my Angel, Andre (Dre) Stone (RIP), once again, we made another mark on the world. I won’t rest without making sure that your name is always remembered. You always told me that although I was a girl, you looked up to me and I hope that I continue to make you proud. I miss you and I will see you when I get there.

  To my big bro Darryl, you’re finally home after eight years which is another blessing GOD has given us recently. You are my soldier, my right hand and I love you with all my heart. Can’t wait for the world to read your stories. You and Dre are legends in the hood and no one can take that away. A special thank you to my beautiful mom Della. Thank you so much for being there for me when I need you. Words can’t express how much you have helped make this journey a smoother street to drive on. I love you so much and I’m proud to have you as a mom. To Rahdahl, thank you for keeping me inspired, motivated and reaching for goals that most feel are unreachable. You will always be appreciated. To all of the StreetDreamz Publications staff; Precious, Chris, Nichole, Delroy and Ryan your dedication means the world to me. Although things can become intense, I can always count on you all to produce results. You are all appreciated. To my new editor Tina, thank you for being patient with me and for holding me down on this one, you are the best!

  To ALL of my readers, man, tears well up in my eyes when I think of how much y’alls support means to me. Y’all are the reason why I write, the reason why I keep fresh stories brewing and the reason why I will never half step. I put my all into all of my stories because I have you all in mind and I promise to never short you. Thank you for all of the love, rather it’s Facebook messages, tweets, or emails. You all hold a special place in my heart and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  Be sure to join my book club on Facebook “We Read Urban Fiction.” Friend me on facebook/shondadevaughn or facebook/AuthorLaShondaDeVaughn. Follow me on twitter @hoodchickstory and hit me up on my website www.lashondadevaughn.page.tl

  Look out for upcoming titles by StreetDreamz Publications:

  If All Men Cheat, All Women Should Too! By LaShonda DeVaughn

  The Naked Eye By Kaie Golson

  I’d Rather Be Single 2 By LaShonda DeVaughn

  Mafia By LaShonda DeVaughn & David Weaver

  American Thug By Darryl DeVaughn