Break Me (Shattered)

by Jo-Anna Walker

  Jose moved it down to my stomach and ran it up under my shirt, the cold metal smoothing over my skin.

  I shivered, my heart pounded in my ears, and a sob escaped my lips. “Please stop,” I begged.

  He moaned. “God, I love it when you beg.” He ran the gun up and down my stomach.

  Curling his hand in mine, he lowered the weapon into the waistband of my pants. “Move and I’ll fucking shoot you.”

  I closed my eyes, tiny sobs escaping my lips. “Please, stop. I’ll do anything you want me to, just please don’t shoot me.”

  He licked up the side of my neck. “Anything?”

  I swallowed, taking deep breaths. “Yes, anything,” I whispered.

  “Oh, cochina, we are going to have so much fucking fun togeth— What the fuck is that?”

  I opened my eyes as he turned his head. I frowned in confusion as he got off me, and then I heard it too. Sirens sounded in the distance, and hope flared in my chest. He looked down at me, rage darkening his features. “Did you call the fucking police?”

  “No,” I lied. The sirens came and went, leaving us in silence. I moved to stand, but he kicked me in the stomach, almost making me throw up instantly.

  He kicked me again, and I fell back on the ground, gasping for air.

  “No,” I wheezed. “I didn’t call anyone.”

  “Liar!” he screamed and kicked me again.

  I coughed and rolled over, grabbing my stomach.

  “I won’t let them take you. You’re mine. You hear me? You’re fucking mine!”

  I rolled to my side just as he kicked me again, and I fell back, pain exploding from my middle. My lungs were on fire as I breathed through the pain.

  Jose paced in front of me, his eyes moving about, and I heard the sirens getting closer to us. A maniacal expression filled his face when he stopped. Looking down at me, he pointed the gun in my direction. “If I can’t have you, no one can.”

  My eyes went wide as I stared at the barrel of the gun. A moment later, his cell phone went off, and without taking his eyes off of me; he reached into his pocket, bringing the phone to his ear. “Yeah…oh, hello, Sebastian.”

  I let out a breath as tears welled in my eyes. I heard yelling coming from the other end of the phone as I moved to get up.

  “Tsk, tsk. You won’t get anywhere with language like that.” He turned in the direction of the sirens, and I took this as my chance to escape.

  Rolling over and biting back the pain, I crawled to the phone a couple of feet away from me and tried to get to my feet, crying out when a foot pushed me into the ground.

  “You can’t have her, asshole. She’s fucking mine now, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He taunted.

  “You wanna fucking bet, asshole?”

  My heart skipped a beat at the deep voice coming from in front of me.

  “Fuck you.” Jose dug his foot harder into my back.

  “Sebastian.” I cried out at the pain spreading through my body.

  “Let her go, Jose.”

  Jose laughed. “You see, I can’t do that. I know my little puta wants me. Her body throbbed for me earlier. Her hot cunt was nice and tight for me too.”

  Sebastian growled at Jose’s words. “Let her fucking go. This is between you and me, Jose, not her. Tori has nothing to do with this.”

  “She has everything to do with this!” Jose screamed. “If I can’t have her, no one can and that especially includes you, asshole. You fucking hear me?”

  I looked up as a weight was lifted off me. Rising to all fours, I turned and saw Sebastian and Jose struggling.

  Red- and blue-flashing lights surround the parking lots, and ignoring the pain in my stomach from where he kicked me, I stumbled to my feet. I took a step towards the parking lot just as two shots rang out. A moment later, white-hot pain exploded from my body. I fell, landing on my knees, and gripped my side.

  My vision faded in and out as I saw Jose running in the opposite direction of the police cars. My head spun, and I fought for breath. Tears welled in my eyes as I gasped for air.

  Feeling something thick and sticky between my fingers, I brought my hand up in front of my eyes. A deep red liquid coated my palm. Groaning, bile rose in my throat.

  Swallowing back the sour taste, I pushed forward on all fours when a strangled noise came from behind me. Turning, I saw a large heap lying on the ground. Tears welled in my eyes as I quickly crawled to the big body.

  Biting back the pain, I squeezed my eyes shut when my hand reached cool leather. White spots danced in my vision as I landed on my stomach, no longer having energy to move.

  I gripped the leather as a hand grabbed me. Opening my eyes, I stared into the deep brown eyes of the man I loved. “Sebastian.”

  My breathing was erratic, and my throat felt like sandpaper.

  “Little one.” Blood leaked from the side of his mouth, and I quickly wiped it away.

  Oh God, he’s dying. Sebastian is dying. “Sebastian.” I leaned my head against his chest and sobs took over my body.

  “Little one.” He coughed. “It’ll be okay.”

  I looked at him. “Don’t leave me. You promised. Don’t fucking leave me,” I begged.

  “I…I’m so sorry, for everything.” He coughed again, causing more blood to leak from his lips.

  “I don’t care about that. Whatever happened…whatever you did, it’s in the past. I forgive you. It’s done. Just please…please don’t leave me.” The sobs racked at my bones.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  I cried harder, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I love you. Please, don’t leave me,” I begged. “You promised. You can’t die on me. I need you. Please.”

  His hand reached up and stroked my cheek.

  I leaned down and kissed his full lips. “Please…God. Stay with me, baby.”

  “I’m so sorry, little one. Please forgive me.” His eyes closed, and he let out a deep breath.

  “Sebastian?”

  He didn’t respond.

  “Sebastian!” I checked his pulse. I couldn’t tell if he had one or if my mind was playing tricks on me, but a faint beat moved under my fingers so I had hope that he was still alive. “Wake up!” I started punching his chest. “Sebastian, do not fucking leave me. Please.”

  He didn’t open his eyes.

  Screams tore through me. He couldn’t be dead. Oh God, no.

  “I think they’ve been shot,” I heard someone say from above me.

  “Sebastian, I love you. You hear me?” I screamed. “I fucking love you. Don’t you dare leave me!” Hands gripped my shoulders as one last scream left my body. A moment later, darkness took over, leaving me in a sea of black.

  Chapter 26

  I stirred as the sounds of beeping and machines surrounded me.

  My body felt numb, as if I was lying on a cloud. I heard voices around me, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Were they talking to me?

  I tried opening my eyes, but they felt heavy, and I had no energy to fight it.

  “Is…Tori…coming…around…”

  Words floated around me as the voices continued talking about me. I didn’t know what was going on or where I was. I tried again to open my eyes, but I couldn’t.

  My limbs also ignored me when I attempt to move.

  “…move…”

  Move? I’m trying, but it’s not working.

  Exhaustion took over and I fell back into a dreamless sleep.

  ***

  “Tori?”

  I groaned and gasped when a sharp pain stabbed me in the side. What happened to me?

  “Shh…don’t move.”

  I opened my eyes slowly, blinded by the light. I squinted and the room darkened. Breathing a sigh of relief, I lifted my arm to rub my eyes but it felt like it weighed a ton. “What…what’s…”

  “Shhh…you need to take it easy. Lie still.”

  “What…” I swallow. My throat felt like a desert, and I licked my lips. Ope
ning my eyes completely, I saw Brett and Keisha standing beside me. “Hi.”

  They both smiled, and Keisha wiped under her eyes. “Hi,” they say in unison.

  I frowned, looking down at my body, and realized that I was in a bed. “Where am I?” My voice came out gravelly.

  “You’re at the hospital,” Brett said, holding a glass of water to my lips.

  I sucked on the straw, letting the cool liquid coat my throat. “What happened?”

  Brett and Keisha looked at each other. “Maybe you should get some more rest before we go into that.”

  “No…please…” Images flashed into my mind. “Oh God, I remember.” I was shot. Jose shot me and beat me and…and touched me. “Jose…” My breathing quickened, and something started beeping faster.

  “Hey, calm down. He’s not here.” Brett grabbed hold of my hand. “He won’t hurt you again, and Tori…”

  I looked around the room and took deep breaths, trying to calm my beating heart.

  “Tori.”

  I looked back up at Brett. “God, I am so sorry.”

  He was sorry? “For what?”

  “I’m sorry for the horrible things I said to you. I’m such an asshole. Will you ever…” he knelt beside my bed, squeezing my hand. “Please forgive me.”

  Unshed tears blurred my vision, and a lump formed in my throat. I nodded. “Of course.” My voice was hoarse as I remembered how things had been left with him.

  He sighed in relief and stood up, placing a kiss on my forehead.

  A nurse in peach-colored scrubs came into my room. “Oh, I see you’re awake.” She had a friendly smile with warm blue eyes, and even though she seemed nice enough, it didn’t help the horrible feeling that continued flowing through me. Besides me being in the hospital, something was off, but I couldn’t figure out what.

  Checking my blood pressure, she frowned. Turning to Brett and Keisha, she said, “I don’t want you upsetting her.”

  “They didn’t upset me,” I responded for them. My voice still felt raw, and the nurse pushed over my tray, handing me the glass of water. I took another sip, letting the cool water soak my aching throat.

  Once the nurse was satisfied, she turned around, and before heading out of the room, she said, “Ten minutes and then Tori needs to rest.”

  When the nurse left, I turned back to my friends.

  “We tried calling you a couple of times, and I showed up at your apartment, but you didn’t answer. I assumed you were busy or working,” Keisha told me.

  “How long have I been here?” The concept of time was all jumbled in my head. I didn’t know if I was coming or going, and it was starting to frustrate me. I needed to get out of there.

  “You were brought in two nights ago. We didn’t know how to reach your mother, so I said that I was your sister.” Keisha walked around the bed and stood on my right. “I was so worried.”

  “How did you find out I was here?”

  She looked at Brett and then back at me, chewing her bottom lip.

  My eyes flicked between them both, but neither of them replied.

  “Sebastian called me” Brett said a moment later.

  My heart thudded against my chest, and a sob escaped my lips.

  “Tori, Jose’s disappeared.”

  My stomach dropped. Jose disappeared? “Why?”

  “I don’t know. Sebastian was furious,” Brett continued.

  I took a deep breath. “Jose told me he shot him and that he was dead. Later, before the police came, Sebastian showed up. They fought and…I…don’t remember anything else. I remember talking to him on the phone earlier, before I passed out I guess, but I think my head is playing tricks on me. My memories are all over the place.”

  “Tori, I don’t know how to tell you this but…”

  I looked at Keisha. She grabbed my hand and squeezed.

  Brett took a deep breath. “When he called me, he was freaking out. I’ve never heard him so upset.”

  Tears leaked from my eyes, and I squeezed my eyelids shut as Keisha rubbed my hand. I opened my eyes and motioned for him to continue. I know I needed to hear this even if I didn’t like the outcome.

  “He told me he was going after Jose,” he said quietly.

  “I know. That’s why he showed up. He saved me from getting shot the first time. I remember now. But…that…that didn’t last long…though.” I winced at the pain in my side.

  I turned back to my friends. “Have you heard from Sebastian?” My voice cracked.

  Keisha and Brett looked between each other and then back at me, but they didn’t answer.

  “What?” My heart raced against my chest, threatening to burst if I didn’t get answers soon.

  Keisha’s eyes glazed over. “You…” Her voice cracked. “You don’t remember?”

  The images from the night played on a loop in my head, but I couldn’t remember everything. “I…I remember bits and pieces, but not all of it.”

  “Tori.” Keisha pushed past Brett and grabbed both of my hands.

  I looked up into her big green eyes. Sadness and sympathy soared through them. “Keisha, what’s going on?”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks, making a lump form in my throat.

  “Tell me. Please,” I begged.

  “Sebastian was shot, Tori.”

  I gasped, clapping a hand over my mouth.

  “You don’t remember?” Keisha asked me.

  I tried to, but I couldn’t. “No. But he’s fine right? Where is he? I need to see him.”

  Keisha’s shoulders shook.

  “Keisha.”

  She shook her head.

  “No…” Tears rolled down my cheeks.

  “I’m so sorry.” Keisha’s eyes were glossy as she looked at me with sympathy.

  “After I spoke with Sebastian, he ended up here but he didn’t make it. I’m so fucking sorry, baby girl.” Brett explained, running a hand over my head.

  “Don’t, please don’t…please. Don’t tell me he…oh…I can’t. He was…he was alive when…” Sebastian couldn’t be dead. He just couldn’t. He was the strongest person I knew. Tough and rugged, infuriating, but he was mine. Mine. No, I wouldn’t believe it. I couldn’t.

  “He didn’t make it, Tori.” She sobbed.

  A wail escaped my lips.

  “Tori.” Brett bent down, wrapping his arms around me.

  “I…” Oh God. Sebastian. He was gone. He left me. He actually left me.

  “I’m so sorry, baby girl.” Brett ran his hand over my head.

  “No. I can’t handle…” I couldn’t breathe. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. “Sebastian.”

  The sounds of my screams bounced off the walls, sobs taking over my body. I felt the mattress lower as Keisha lay on the bed beside me, wrapping her arms around me. Sebastian was gone. I would never see him again. Never feel his touch again or hear his deep voice. He wouldn’t make me laugh again. He had left me. Jose was still out there, and Sebastian fucking left me.

  Brett headed out a moment later, saying something about needing some air. Keisha continued to hold me as I cried myself to sleep.

  Chapter 27

  A couple of days later, I was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed with my hands in my lap. It was time for me to go home, but I felt hollow, empty. I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I wanted Sebastian. Fresh tears welled in my eyes, and I angrily wiped them away.

  I was so fucking sick of crying, and I was mad at him. I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I was furious that he had left me. Yes, it was irrational of me to feel that way, but at the moment, I couldn’t control it.

  “Oh God.” I rested my head in my hands as my shoulders shook.

  “Hey, Tori. You can’t get yourself worked up like this.”

  I looked up into the gentle eyes of my nurse. “I…I can’t deal…”

  “Listen.” Her eyes softened. “There is someone I want you to talk to.”

  She gave me a card and I nodded.
“Thank you. I don’t know if I will, but thanks.”

  Beth smiled in understanding. “If you need anything though, you can always call me as well. I…”

  I looked up as her breath caught.

  “I kind of know what you’re going through.”

  I searched her deep blue eyes and swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I might take you up on that offer. Thank you, Beth,” I said quietly.

  She smiled and gave me a light hug. I hugged her back as Keisha walked into the room.

  “Hey.” She smiled lightly.

  Beth left a moment later, and I turned to Keisha, sitting back on the bed. “Hi.”

  “How are you doing?”

  I cleared my throat and took some deep breaths. “I…I don’t know yet.”

  She nodded and sat beside me, grabbing my hand. “Tori, I don’t even…” Unshed tears filled her eyes.

  “Keisha.”

  “I’m not going to begin to understand what you went through, but just please know that I am here for you now.”

  I nodded. “I know. Thank you.”

  She let go of my hand and folded hers in her lap, looking around the room.

  “I spoke to my mom.”

  Her head turned back to mine. “Oh?”

  I sighed. “Yeah, I think I’m going to move back home for a bit.”

  She let out a deep breath. “Good. I actually was going to suggest that.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I was also going to offer for you to move in with me, but then I remembered…” The thought of Jose finding me was left unsaid.

  “I know. Listen, I have something to tell you. I don’t know if Brett did already…”

  “I know Sebastian showed up at my place while you spent the night there.”

  “Oh…I’m…” I chewed my bottom lip, trying to not cry at the mention of his name.

  “It’s fine, Tori. I’m not mad. I knew he showed up anyway.”

  My eyes widened and my cheeks heated.

  She chuckled. “You guys weren’t very quiet.”

  I laughed, tears filling my eyes, and then fresh cries replaced my laughter. I missed him so much. The feel of him touching me, his deep smooth voice telling me how much he wanted me, him losing control… Would I ever get over the pain of losing Sebastian?