Tattooed Love

by Simone Elise

  “Well, at least you don’t have to go to school,” he said, leaning closer to me and washing the top of my shoulder.

  “Um yeah, true.” I shot him a small smile “So this ‘stuff’ to take care of… I am guessing it is club business so we can’t really talk about it.”

  He nodded his head and reached out for my other arm, turning it over and washing it. “Can I ask you something?”

  I couldn’t pull my eyes away from his upper muscles as he leaned over me. “Um sure, Jax, shoot.”

  “You dated Blake for a while, yeah?”

  “Um, yeah.”

  “Why did I not see you around?”

  My heart was hammering through my chest as he bent into the water and began to wash my high thigh. Focus! I couldn’t’ lose my train of thought. “Um, what do you mean?”

  Jax glanced across at me before turning his attention back to my body. “I never saw you around. Their gang reports to us; we take a share in their profits. So why didn’t I see you? You were dating the gang leader. It’s not like you were with some nobody.”

  “I kept a low profile. I didn’t want to see my brothers.” I bit my lower lip. “Blake didn’t even seem to notice,” I added.

  I saw Jax’s expression turn serious. “Why did you break up with him?”

  “Because.”

  “Because you didn’t want to date an outlaw anymore?” Jax glanced up the bath at me and arched an eyebrow. “Over the lies? The dirty money? Sick of bailing him out of jail? What?”

  Why was he saying that as if those were the reasons keeping a girl from him.

  Frowning at him “No, it wasn’t any of that.”

  He grunted. “Come on Amber. You don’t break up with a guy you’ve been with for ages out of the blue. Something must’ve driven you to do it.”

  “Ever heard of that saying, “You can put a broken mirror back together, but you can always see the cracks?”

  Jax nodded his head.

  “Well mine and Blake’s relationship had gotten to that point.”

  “So what made it crack?”

  A shot of pain ran across my stomach as I moved slightly in the water.

  “He hit me,” I muttered. “But do not tell my brothers.”

  “He what?” Jax spat and dropped my leg in the water, which made me flinch and another wave of pain flooded my body.

  “Sorry!” He reached back into the water and floated my leg back to the surface.

  “Blake and I just needed to go our separate ways. That’s it.”

  Jax glared into the water as he ran the face washer down my leg. “So, the whole gang and outlaw thing wasn’t a problem?”

  “What are you trying to ask me, Jax?”

  “Nothing.” He shook his head and got up “I’m done. Do you want to get out or…“

  “Out sounds good,” I piped up, and placed a hand on the edge ready to pull myself up but Jax leaned down and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me from the water.

  Slipping a hand around his neck, I kept my eyes locked on the side of his face as he lowered my feet to the ground. I felt like I was missing something, like he was asking me something but I wasn’t quite catching on.

  Frowning, I slowly pulled my arms from around his neck, now standing on my feet. “Jax?”

  His eyes snapped down to me; he was thinking something and I really wanted to know what it was. He nodded for me to continue.

  “If Blake hadn’t hit me, if things were or could have been different, I wouldn’t have ended it.”

  “You really didn’t care he was a criminal?” His eyebrows frowned as he spoke.

  “I loved him for him, what he did couldn’t influence my love for him.”

  “He was a lucky guy,” Jax muttered. “A lot of girls wouldn’t think the same way.”

  My eyes drifted down from his eyes and, for the first time, I glanced down at my wound and frowned. It wasn’t a stab mark like I’d expected. Slowly, I walked away from Jax and towards the mirror. I rubbed the steam away from the mirror with the back of my hand; wincing as I did.

  My eyes widened as I took in the mark on my body. I reached out and touched the mirror, before glancing back down at it, and then went back to looking at it in the mirror.

  “No!” I choked, and tears began to fill my eyes. “No!”

  Jax stood behind me and placed both his hands on my hips. I didn’t look him in the eye; my eyes were glued to my stomach.

  I was marked as the property of The Pythons. II wore their mark. Tears of disgust rolled down my cheeks.

  “Amber,” Jax’s voice was calm, but right now he was the last person I wanted to see have seen this.

  “Get out,” I choked. “Just get out.”

  “Amber…”

  “GET OUT!”

  “Just let me dry you first and I will leave.”

  I turned around sharply to face him, “I said GET OUT!”

  Taking a step away from me, his arms dropped to his side. His eyes flashed with hurt for a moment before he turned around and walked out of the bathroom.

  I wiped the tears from under my eyes. I couldn’t look at the mark again; I felt disgusted.

  I had been a part of this world long enough to know what that mark meant. I was forever going to wear a mark my brothers loathed and, well Jax… I wiped tears away. I’m sure he loathed The Pythons more than my brothers did.

  “Where is she?” I heard Cole bark at Jax.

  “Bathroom,” Jax answered, now in the bedroom, but I felt his eyes on me.

  I turned around and saw Cole standing in the bathroom doorframe with a plastic bag. He looked over me for a moment before turning around.

  “What did you do to her!” Cole roared at Jax, and I was surprised by the venom in his tone. He normally always respected Jax.

  “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” Jax roared back.

  I grabbed a towel from the counter and wrapped it around my body, wincing as I did.

  “THEN WHY THE HELL IS SHE CRYING! WHAT THE FU—”

  “He didn’t do anything,” I cut Cole off. I walked slowly through the bathroom and to the door. Cole took a step back so I could enter my bedroom; he kept his eyes locked on Jax.

  “Why are you crying?” Cole shot me a sideways glance as I moved towards my bed.

  “Why do you think?” I spat back. “I’m sure you’ve seen it!”

  “Oh...” Cole said blankly, and stopped glaring at Jax.

  “Get out,” I whispered. “Both of you.”

  Cole looked at me warily. “Your bandage needs changing,”

  “I don’t care.” I lowered myself onto the edge of the bed, with my back to Jax. “Please, just leave me alone.”

  Cole tossed the plastic bag on my bed and crossed his arms. “I know this is our fault Amber, I know we failed you.”

  “You think I care about that?” I choked, rubbing the tears away from my eyes. “No, I don’t care that clearly someone has taken their revenge out on me. What I care about is…” I broke off and shook my head, not being able to say it.

  “What?” Jax’s voice piped in from behind me. “Tell us.” He said that like he was dying to know the inner workings of my mind right now. He was basically pleading with me.

  Cole looked at me with a serious expression and I shook my head.

  “Just leave,” I muttered.

  “Don’t make me call the others...” Cole threatened.

  “How can you even look at me?” I pulled my head up and stared him in the eye “I wear your enemy’s mark! I’m… I’m ruined.”

  Cole’s expression went blank and he just stood there frozen, not knowing what to say. Perhaps it was because I had just stated the obvious. I couldn’t take his silence as a good sign, and it didn’t help that Jax was also in the room, also silent.

  “Get out,” I muttered dryly. “GET THE HELL OUT NOW!” I put my head in my hands; the pain was getting worse as I yelled.

  “Amber, it’s our fault you carry that mark. Our opinion of you ca
n never change.” Cole’s voice was firm as he knelt down in front of me. “This is our fault.”

  It was comforting to hear that he thought that but, at the same time, the others wouldn’t be as thoughtful. I was very aware of my own attitude towards people who wore this scar or tattoo because normally, if it was a tattoo, only a lifetime member would have it cut into their skin.

  “Your opinion may not change, but others’ will. Just leave me alone.”

  Cole stayed put in front of me. “Someone has to change your bandage. You can’t be left alone.”

  “I will call someone. Just leave,” I muttered.

  “And who will you be calling? We are your family.” His voice trembled in anger as he spoke. Cole could never control his temper when it came to it, so I knew right now he was doing his best to stay calm.

  “No offense Cole, but you guys are the last people I want looking at and treating this mark. Not when I know you guys kill people for simply showing it.”

  “You didn’t get this by choice.”

  “No, but I still have it.” I shook my head “Please, I cannot take any more humiliation.”

  “Fine.” He stood up “Who do you want me to call?”

  I thought about it for a few moments, and that was when I realized something. There was only one person who wouldn’t judge me for this mark; there was only person I trusted to care for me, knowing that I had it.

  “I will call him. Just go.”

  “Him?” Jax piped up. “Who is it?” His own anger now laced his words as he spoke.

  “I don’t have to answer you, either of you. Now go.”

  Grunting and shaking his head, Cole placed my phone on the bed and walked away. I heard him and Jax leave and I didn’t know why, but I just felt complete and utter disgust at myself.

  I wanted to throw up. I wanted to cut the wound out of my body completely. It was like having an awful word tattooed into my skin.

  Unlocking my phone, I dialed the one number that I had promised to never dial again, and it didn’t help that I knew that number by heart.

  ***

  “Is this all you want?” Blake asked, as he carried the bag he had helped me pack.

  Nodding my head, I thanked him. “I feel so stupid for making you do this for me.”

  “Amber, you are always my number one. No matter what. Come on, let’s get you out of here.” He smiled at me warmly as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “You want me to carry you?”

  “No, I can walk. Just not fast.”

  “Do your brothers know you are leaving with me?” he asked, holding the door open for me.

  “No.” I walked slowly out of the room and down the hall. “What did they say when they saw you?”

  “Nothing. I think they expected me.” His face turned sour. “I get why they’re disgusted with themselves. I looked after you for years and nothing happened.”

  “Perhaps don’t mention that to them,” I said under my breath. I came to a halt at the long staircase; God, this was going to be painful.

  “Come on Amber, just let me carry you down. I promise when we get to the bottom you can hit me or something so you don’t feel like a weakling.”

  I glanced at Blake; he knew me too well. I nodded my head and just let him carry me down the stairs. When he placed me at the bottom, I shot him a small smile.

  He winked at me and opened the front door. My expression went blank as I noticed all my brothers and Jax, leaning against his car.

  “Why are you out of bed?” Adam asked, and then his face went tight as he saw the bag over Blake’s shoulder.

  “As much as I enjoy seeing you guys draping yourselves over my car, can you get off it?” Blake said coolly and took a step in front of me. “I have somewhere I need to be.”

  “Then you can leave,” Jax snarled at him, and glanced briefly at me, adding, “Without her.”

  “Like I am leaving her in your hands,” Blake scoffed. “You guys couldn’t protect her if your life depended on it. But wait… you already proved that.”

  All of the boys took a step towards him, each with an expression twisted in hate.

  “Don’t Blake,” I hissed from behind him. “Just drop it.”

  “Fine,” he grumbled, “But I just wanted to point out that Amber was my other half for years and she never copped my payback, or got hurt. Just proves what sort of brothers you really are to her, although I guess you guys were never around when she needed you.”

  Blake dodged Cole’s fist and I moved to stand in front of him, holding my ground and not letting them fight; though Blake was baiting them.

  “Amber, get back in the house,” Cole spat at me. “NOW!”

  “NO!” I stood my ground. “I’m leaving with Blake and you guys are going to let me.”

  All of them scoffed and Cole shook his head. “Like hell we are.”

  “You are because I am asking you guys to.” I stopped for a moment, pain shooting through me. I fought to steady my breathing. “You guys are going to let me go, because I cannot live in the same house as you while I cope with this.”

  “I already told you the mark means nothing to us,” Cole hissed, and I noticed his firm fists.

  “But it means something to me. Just let me come to terms with it then I will be able to look at you guys without feeling disgusted.”

  “Get out of our way,” Blake snarled from behind me; he never liked people standing in our way, but I suppose nobody does.

  I glanced at Jax and he was just glaring into the house behind us, not looking at me. How could I expect him to, after what was on my body.

  “Then why go with him?” Tyler spoke up, clearly hurt with my decision. “Why leave and take off with the HellBound?”

  “Because she knows I can protect her,” Blake snapped from behind me. I couldn’t turn around to give him a dirty look; I knew it would hurt too much.

  I felt guilty for what I was about to say, but I knew it was the truth. “Because I wear his mark and I know his eyes can never look at me with disgust,” I muttered, looking to the ground.

  The boys stepped out of our way. Blake looked smug as he shouldered Cole, opening the door for me. He tossed the bag into the back and waited for me to take a seat.

  Glancing at the boys, I noticed how hurt they each looked. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “Just give me time.”

  Blake helped me into the car and closed the door. I knew he had a smug look on his face as he walked around the car. Then, suddenly, I heard his body slam into the side of the car, and I noticed Jax had him by the collar. I had never seen Jax furious, but right now, even I was scared of the look on his face...

  “If you touch her, I’ll kill you,” I heard Jax hiss at Blake, before pushing him away.

  Blake opened the door, a pissed off look on his face. He slammed it shut, hard, and then turned the key, bringing the engine to life.

  He glanced over at me .“You hungry? I think we should get food before heading home.” He didn’t mention Jax’s threat.

  I nodded my head in agreement, as I looked into the side view. My brothers were shooting daggers at the car, and that was the last thing I saw as we pulled away.

  Chapter 15

  Amber

  I pulled the t-shirt up and ran my fingers along the two lines. Two simple lines that connect at the top. The stitches now gone, the healing skin was red.

  “Amber, you coming out?”

  I turned to look in the direction of the doorway. Blake had his arms crossed, his eyes glued to my stomach as I inspected it in front of the mirror. I dropped the t-shirt back down.

  “Um yeah,” I said as I moved across the room, picking up my phone. “We’re going now, then?”

  Blake nodded his head, letting his arms drop to his side. “Are you sure you want to?”

  “Yeah, I don’t mind.” I smiled at him. “Come on.”

  Blake put his hand out for me to take, and I took it without thinking twice about it. Old habits die hard. My phone lit up in my
hand and I wasn’t surprised when I glanced at the caller I.D.

  I hadn’t seen my brothers in over three weeks. Three weeks I had avoided their calls, and their eyes. I had even avoided school, but school couldn’t challenge a Doctor’s certificate, even if it was fake; they didn’t know that bit though.

  Jax’s number flashed as the phone vibrated again.

  “They’re harassing you tonight,” Blake said, as he closed the front door and watched me block the call once again. “Maybe something’s up?”

  “I couldn’t do anything, even if something was,” I pointed out, walking to his car as the phone continued to flash. “We’re going anyway, right?”

  I slid into the car. Blake had so been secretive about where we were going but I was just thankful to get out of the house.

  Blake started the car up and I closed my door, keeping an eyebrow raised as he pulled out of the driveway.

  “Not going to answer?” I pressed, while pulling my seatbelt on.

  “Amber, the last three weeks… You… being back in the house… us being, well, you know…”

  “Us being what?”

  “We’ve been sleeping in the same bed.” He shot me a sideways glance, “It just feels like we are back in a relationship.”

  “Yeah, I suppose it has been a bit like that. Apart from you not drinking.” I looked out the window. I still couldn’t believe Blake hadn’t touched a drink for the last three weeks. He said he couldn’t protect me if he was wasted. Blake was a good fighter, even when wasted, so I knew he wasn’t drinking because he didn’t want anything to happen between us.

  “Amber? Are we back in a relationship?”

  I looked at him gingerly; he looked slightly uneasy.

  Blake was never uneasy.

  “No. I don’t know.” I frowned. “I don’t know, Blake. The reasons we decided to break up still exist.”

  “I’ve shown you! I won’t hurt you.” He shot me a sideways glance again, keeping an eye on the road. “I won’t ever touch you again.”

  “Blake, we didn’t just break up for that reason.” I sighed, and ran both hands through my hair. “We both knew what we had was over. Is over. We can’t be that couple anymore.”

  “I don’t want to be that couple.” Blake slowed down at a traffic light. “I want us to be this. Easy, second nature. Being with you, Amber, is like breathing.”