by Simone Elise
Suddenly my anger was fading; I hated to say this, but Cole was right. I had no right to expect Jax to change, after all, records can’t be wiped, and I knew Jax was a ladies man. I was stupid to think that his past wouldn’t come back to bite me.
Cole
I waited for Amber to leave before I rounded the corridor again and stormed up to Jax’s door, slamming my fist on it once before just walking in.
Mai was on the edge of Jax’s bed, and looked like her normal self; not a tear in sight. Jax was sitting in front of her in an armchair that had been pulled up to the side of the bed. He had that normal, smug look on his face.
I slammed the door behind me. “Mai. Jackson.” I used his full name to piss him off. I turned to face Mai. “I see the tears are gone.” Amber had hit the nail on the head when she called Mai a bitch. Personally, I thought Mai was the Queen of Evil.
Mai narrowed her beady eyes at me. “Cole, always a pleasure.”
“Must be important, for you to have let yourself in.” Jax arched an eyebrow at me, his voice coated with annoyance.
I had respect for Jax, but right now he was going down in my eyes. Yeah, I knew he was a player, but, for some stupid reason, I actually expected him to be different with Amber. Mai being here showed me he wasn’t going to be.
Amber had to see what she was in for; maybe she would get out before he used her anymore.
“Yeah, just wanted to say Jax,” as I walked over to him, glaring down at him, “that you better get your fucking act together, because I don’t like my sister feeling threatened.” I shot a filthy look at Mai “Especially by a slut like you.”
Mai laughed sourly. “Really, standing up for your little sister? Who knew you actually had a heart Cole.”
“Whatever this is,” I pointed between them, “End it.” I looked Jax in the eye and I saw the rage boiling from the way I’d spoken to him. Yeah, I was meant to always show him respect, but when it came to Amber, nothing got in my way from protecting her and I knew my brothers would be on my side. “Before you cross a line Jackson, remember who you are about to cheat on.”
Jax was up quickly, kicking the armchair over in his hurry to get to me.
“I suggest you get the fuck out Cole, before I remind you who you are speaking to.” He growled at me, barely being able to keep his fists away. I knew he was aching to just pound his anger into me for the way I’d spoken to him.
“Whatever you say, boss.” I spat on the floor in front of him. He could throw his title around all he wanted; it meant nothing when it came to Amber. “Make sure the slut is out of the house within an hour,” I threw over my shoulder before slamming the door after me.
He might run Satan’s Sons, but he didn’t run this house.
Amber
“Really mature Amber!” Jackson shouted at me when he walked into the room.
Getting up off the couch, I ran my eyes up and down Jax. Why was he so mad? From what I remember, if anyone had a right to be pissed, it was me, after all, he was the one up in his room doing God knows what with Mai.
“If you’re got a problem, talk to me, don’t go crying to your brother.” The veins running up Jax’s neck were bulging, and his face was slightly red. To put it simply, he was furious.
“Don’t speak to me like that!” I shouted back. If he wanted a shouting match then fine; I could yell just as loud as him!
“I thought you got it!” Jax paced back and forth, not pulling his eyes from me. “But I was wrong. You’re still are just as…”
“As what Jax?” I pushed him to finish his sentence. “Come on, finish what you were going to say.” I had never felt so much anger towards him. This whole time I had been sitting down here, telling myself to trust him. Telling myself I had to back off. And this was how I got treated?
“What’s the point?” Jax stopped pacing, his eyes squarely on me. “I can’t do this.”
Suddenly, this argument went from insane to deadly serious. “What?” my mouth dropped slightly. He couldn’t be serious?
“You know what…” Jax was still angry; I could see that, but he couldn’t mean what I thought he meant.
“You want to break up with me?” I spoke each word slowly, trying to explain it more to myself than to him. Surely this can’t be happening. “After everything we have been through, after everything you put me through! All the chasing, and you finally saying you loved me, and now what? You changed your mind!?”
I went from shocked to pissed instantly. He couldn’t do this to me!
“I thought I could have both…” Jax’s locked his eyes with mine. “But you aren’t worth the loss.”
“Loss of what?” I hadn’t done anything! I certainly hadn’t lost him anything; nothing that I was aware of anyway.
“I can’t lose this club.” He said each word clearly, for some reason speaking to me like I didn’t understand basic English.
“And I would never let you lose this club,” I said, faking calm, when, on the inside, I was just a bubbling mess of nerves. I knew how important the club was to him; heck, I would do anything to help him. Why would he think I would ever take the club from him?
“I couldn’t take that shit in front of Mai. I can’t let you think you have control over me.” Jax’s voice was deadly. I can’t believe the man I was willing to risk everything for was threatening me right now!
“I don’t want control over you! I just want you! Bloody hell Jax, when are you going to see that I only care for you! I don’t want to ruin your life, or take the club from you! I just want to make your life better. I want you to want to share your life with me.”
Jax crossed his arms, and just kept looking at me coldly; like I was scum.
“Why would I want to share my life with someone who is so pathetic, she goes crying to their brothers instead of trusting me? I thought you understood that this relationship wouldn’t be easy but what happened tonight, it proved to me you can’t handle this.”
“What are you talking about!?” I yelled at him and moved closer to him. “I haven’t done anything!”
“Amber, we’re over.” Jax meant it. His face, his body language, everything proved it to me. He was done.
“No!” I shook my head. This couldn’t be happening. “I said I loved you…” I gulped, feeling myself melting in front of him. “I love you Jax, you can’t give up on us.”
I went to go to him, but he just stepped away from me; keeping me at arm’s length. “I want to make it clear Amber. I want nothing more to do with you,” he said coldly.
It was happening. After everything, all the chasing, all the games. He was walking away from us.
“We’re perfect for each other,” I begged him, and I didn’t bother to wipe the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.
“Just drop it Amber.” Jax went to turn his back on me, but I quickly walked around him and blocked the doorway.
“No.”
“Move.”
I placed my arms across the doorway. Seriously, I was blocking the guy who just broke up with me from leaving? I must really be pathetic.
“Just tell me why? What changed?” I begged him. If I knew what’d changed, then maybe I could fix it. Maybe I could explain whatever was worrying him.
“Nothing changed, I just saw clearly for the first time.” Jax crossed his arms. “You can’t handle this life.”
“I have been living this life as long as you have Jax,” I snapped at him. “I don’t see that as a reason to break up with me. To walk away from us.”
“I can’t have you crying to your brothers every time there is a problem. I thought you were mature enough to at least take it up with me.”
“I didn’t go crying to anyone!” I yelled in his face. The anger, shock and just pure hurt coursing through my body began to take control over my actions.
“He doesn’t want you. For Heaven’s sake, stop begging,” Mai said, her voice floating to my ears from behind me.
I didn’t have the strength to turn aro
und and answer her, or even bother to punch her. Because right now, Jax was breaking my heart and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
He was what mattered; he was the only thing that mattered in my life.
“What? No comeback Amber?” Mai prompted from behind me.
I kept my eyes on Jax. “We can just work this out Jax, just give me a chance to explain,” I begged him again but when his face didn’t change, I knew it was pointless. I swallowed the fear inside me, and prepared myself for what was about to come. “If you end us right now, you end us for good.” I had to make sure he understood what he was doing, because I couldn’t take the games anymore.
If he was done, he was done.
“My, she is clingy,” Mai said as she tapped her foot behind me. I was pleased when Jax threw her an annoyed look over my shoulder.
But when his eyes met mine once again, that little bit of pleasure disappeared.
“We’re over Amber.” Jax didn’t say it calmly, or even with any compassion. His voice wasn’t soft or caring, and it hurt.
“Ok.” I moved from blocking his way, and turned around to see Mai standing at the bottom of the stairs, a smug expression on her face.
“Finally, you’re done. Not that seeing you beg Jax wasn’t amusing.” Mai taunted, her smug expression getting on my nerves.
I didn’t bother taking her on, even though I had a few nasty ones I could pull out. I didn’t see the point.
I opened my front door, and closed it softly behind me. I didn’t even slam it, or scream at Jax for hurting me this way.
I felt like a zombie as I walked down the porch stairs. Silent tears slid down my cheeks. I should never have let myself fall for Jax.
“Amber? What the fuck is wrong?”
I stopped and looked at Troy. I hadn’t even seen him cleaning his bike.
“Can I take your bike?” I asked, my voice devoid of emotion but the concern on his face told me he wasn’t going to just let me take it.
“What happened?” He placed a hand on each of my shoulders; he towered over me.
Jax had somehow managed to blame my brothers for us breaking up but really, what was wrong with having them concerned about me? At least I knew they would always be there; even when I didn’t want them to be.
“Please let me take your bike?” I begged him.
“Are you ok?”
“I just need to get out of here.”
Troy reached for his back pocket and pulled the keys out. “Ride safe ok?” he handed them to me, and I quickly made my way around him.
“Amber, promise me you will call me and tell me where you end up?”
I buckled my helmet up, and nodded my head at him. “I promise.”
I kicked the huge beast to life, and took off. I just needed to get away from here. If Jax wanted nothing more to do with me, where did this leave me?
I accelerated harder as I thought that. I loved him, and that was what was burning the knife through my heart.
Troy
I slammed my front door, and wasn’t half surprised to see Mai and Jax in the foyer.
“What the fuck did you do?” I yelled directly at Jax. There could only be one reason for Amber to be that upset.
Jax. He had done something.
“What a surprise. Another Shield coming to his sister’s defense,” Jax growled at me. What the heck had gotten into him?
“Excuse me?”
“Amber and I are over. She will get over it.” Jax pulled out his beeping phone and announced, “I’m taking Mai back to her dad’s, and then tomorrow I want you all at the table.”
“Why did you break up with her?” I gave Mai a filthy look. If she had caused this I swear I would give that slut a work over. She needed a face job, and I would cross the line, hitting a chick, if she’d hurt Amber.
“Did you know Amber has a relationship with Mai’s dad?” Jax crossed his arms. “He’s Blake’s uncle.”
“I know.” Why would that mean anything? Fuck, I knew everything Amber had done with them, nothing that was important now.
“You knew?”
“Get to the point Jackson,” I threatened.
“Amber did deals with them behind your back a few months ago, did you know that?” Mai stepped in. “She made a hell of a lot of money for it too.”
“Why does that matter?” I glared at her.
Mai went to answer, but Jax cut in.
“It doesn’t. What matters is her relationship with you and your brothers,” Jax stepped in, a deep glare in his eyes. “I can’t deal with her going crying to you every time she has a problem with me. If Cole had spoken to me like he did today any other time, he would have had a bullet between his eyes. It is time you boys were reminded of your position.”
“Position?” I growled.
“A bullet between my eyes?” Cole snapped from the top of the stairs. “You couldn’t pull the trigger if you wanted to.” Cole stomped down the stairs and pointed at Mai. “I told you to get that bitch out hours ago,” he growled.
“Things changed.” Mai smirked up at him. “Jax can’t have a witness to your disrespect. Jax wouldn’t want anyone else to know how much of a pushover he is now.”
“Mai!” Jax growled at her.
“What Jax? It isn’t my fault that you let your boys walk all over you now.” She placed a hand on her hip. “Or should I say that you let your missus control you so much.”
“What do you mean come crying to us? Fuck, do you not know Amber at all?” Cole snorted, not standing next to me. I had a feeling Cole was just waiting for the right words and then he was going to launch at Jax.
“Back off Cole, it is finished,” Jax warned. “I broke it off.”
“What? You really broke it off?” I hadn’t actually taken him seriously before. Shit. I just gave her the keys to my bike. Fuck.
“I can’t date someone who doesn’t trust me,” Jax snapped “Not that it is any of your business.”
Cole chuckled evilly, and even I was arching an eyebrow at him.
“You think Amber didn’t trust you? She didn’t trust the whore. And Amber didn’t come crying to me about it.” Cole stepped up and was in Jax’s face. “It seems more like you didn’t trust her,” he snapped.
Jax didn’t push Cole away like I was expecting.
“And that deal you think Amber did behind your back. Wasn’t what you thought neither. She had only met Blake’s Uncle once, and it was at a Christmas party.”
“Amber told us to back off, and we did,” Cole smirked at him. “But now we have nothing to worry about. Amber won’t have anything to do with you now.”
“She didn’t go to you thinking I was having an affair with Mai?” Jax asked as he took a step back from Cole. “Then why did you break down my door threatning me?”
What a surprise? Cole had something to do with this. His hot head always got us in trouble.
“Just brother love.” Cole shrugged his shoulders “Plus, I hate Mai.”
Mai made some nasty gagging noise.
“But Mai heard you and Amber talking. When Mai went out to call her dad, she heard Amber crying to you,” Jax said, and then all our eyes turned to Mai.
She looked innocent, but we all knew her better than that.
“What?” She rolled her eyes. “So maybe I lied. Jax come on, she was costing you the club. When I heard how controlled you were, I had to come see it for myself.”
“You lied?” Jax growled at her through gritted teeth.
“Why would you believe her over Amber anyway?” Cole snapped at him.
“Because of what you did tonight,” Jax roared at Cole. “Because of the two of you!” Jax looked between Cole and Mai.
“Jax, I did you a favor tonight. Everyone knows a great leader doesn’t have a missus,” Mai defended herself. “Please! You saw how protective Cole was of her, and how little respect he had for you. All I did was come up with a reason after that for you to get rid of Amber and take back your position.”
&nbs
p; Cole was throwing curse words at Mai, but I wasn’t interested in their spat. My eyes were on Jax, as he realized what he had done tonight.
“Where did she go?” Jax looked up, finally out of his thoughts. “You saw her. Where did she go?” he looked at me.
Cole and Mai shut up and waited for me to answer. Not that I really had one to give, although if I did, I don’t think I would have told him. He had hurt her enough.
“I don’t know, she took off on my bike.”
“You let her take off on your bike!? Fuck, Troy!” Cole roared at me.
“I didn’t know what had happened,” I shot at Cole. “Maybe you should have told me about your little argument with Jax.”
“How was I meant to know he was going to go off and dump her!” Cole snapped.
“SHUT UP!” Jax yelled at the two of us. “Amber is on a deadly machine. She barely knows how to ride and is fucked up because I broke up with her! Would you two save your argument for later!”
“I taught her how to ride,” Cole barked through narrowed eyes, ready for another fight.
“Jax is right, we should go find her,” I cut in, and searched my pockets for my phone. “I’ll call Tyler and Adam. Cole, go get the car started.”
“I’m coming,” Jax spoke up and followed Cole out.
I could fight with him, but I didn’t want to waste any more time. “Mai, make sure you are gone before we get back,” I said as I pressed the dial button and left the front door open for her.
Putting my phone to my ear, I hoped Tyler and Adam were close to town, because I had a feeling Amber would be heading that way.
Chapter 45
Amber
I watched as people rushed past me, all wanting to be somewhere. I swallowed the feeling of loneliness as another happy couple walked past me. When I saw the long black limo pull up to the curb, I was quick to make my way to it.
The window went down, and I actually was pleased to see my dad’s face.
“Amber,” he reached for something beside him and then handed it out the window to me. I saw dad was torn about what he was doing for me. “Are you still sure you want to leave?” Dad looked at the busy airport behind me.