by Simone Elise
So I was half surprised when he stepped out of my way, letting go of her. Her eyes went from him to me, and that’s where they stayed.
After how I treated her, I would understand if she ignored me. The old Amber would have punched me, insulted me, screamed all the reasons I was wrong for doing what I had done.
But the Amber I was looking at right now, well, she wasn’t doing any of those things.
Her eyes mirrored mine; pain. It was painful seeing her. After all this time, it still hurt to see her. Hurt more knowing she’d said I’d never get her back.
She took a big gulp of air in, and all her brothers were watching her reaction. Was she going to be childish? Was she going to play a game? Amber knew I loved her. She had all the cards. She could flirt and dance with fire by teasing me with Tae, and I would have to suffer it. Hell, if teasing me was all she was going to do… I deserved a lot worse.
Instead, she took a step closer to me, and then another, until she was standing in front of me.
It was instinct now to reach out for her, so I did, wrapping my arms around her, and she hugged me back. I think I took my first easy breath since she’d left; holding her now. I could breathe easy.
The nerves were gone.
Holding her just felt right.
Everything always became easy when I was with Amber which was why I’d fought so hard, because you don’t get handed the perfect woman and then have being with her as easy as breathing more than once.
She was thinner; there was barely anything of her.
“Thank you,” she whispered in my ear.
She was thanking me for bringing her back? Did that mean she didn’t hate me completely?
“I said I would get you back,” I whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek, and then she stepped out of my grasp.
Pulling away from me with a sad smile on her face.
“Amber?”
She turned and my eyes went to Tae.
“We need to change your phone,” he glanced at us, but looked like he didn’t have any time for us whatsoever.
Which I think shocked the boys.
“Right, sorry Tae,” she said and walked to him, taking the phone he was offering her. “Thank you.” She smiled. She looked really thankful too. It just proved to me again there was competition here.
His phone started ringing and he cursed. “That will be Lee, making demands as usual.”
“He doesn’t demand things,” Amber was still smiling at him. As if they had had this conversation before. “You just don’t want to pick up because you don’t know your schedule this week.”
He arched his eyebrows at her. “You know me too well.”
“Here, give it to me,” she said and put her hand out.
“Like always Amber, this is one of the reasons I love you,” he said, sending a direct punch to my gut... He just said he loved her. I was mortified. Amber said she would never risk her heart again; had she changed her mind over the course of the week? Less than a week.
She rolled her eyes and answered the phone, her heels clicking as she walked off, riddling off details.
All eyes were on Tae and he didn’t seem one bit fazed by that. He looked at all of us, one by one. Summing us up. He was an underworld figure; he knew us, but we weren’t meant to know he was the face of an underworld figure.
He wouldn’t go into business with us, unless he knew every detail about us.
“So, you must be her brothers,” he said, somewhat polite. I think the only reason he was giving them time was because of Amber. “She has told me a lot about you lot. Her stories always seemed to feature one of you.”
So they spent time together. Enough time for her to tell him personal stories. Some business relationship.
I glanced at her back. She had some explaining to do.
I wasn’t letting her date him. Hell, I wasn’t letting her be with anyone apart from me. I was going to get her back. I needed her back. I ripped my eyes off her back, in time to watch the boys introduce themselves and shake hands.
Tae was really making an effort. For a man meant to be as ruthless as me, it looked like we both had it hard for one woman and were willing to do anything to get her.
Amber walked back to us, just as Cole was making conversation with Tae.
“Ok. So your schedule is locked in with Lee.” Amber handed him the phone. “And we are locked in for dinner at six.”
He grinned at her. I sure as fuck didn’t know the man ruthless enough to run TNS to smile or grin, but he did with her.
“Formal or private?” he asked, taking her hand, and pulling her towards him. “I’m hoping for private.” He sounded hopeful. It made me sick.
Amber told me she wasn’t dating him!
“Private,” she smirked.
“At my place or a hotel?”
“Your place.”
“Good, just where I want you.” He took his eyes off her, and glanced at her brothers. “I just met your brothers. They are everything you said they were”.
Her expression changed instantly, she looked defensive. “Are they just?”
He nodded his head. “We can confirm that seven appointment, but you aren’t handling it. I want you home.”
I knew instantly what he was talking about; he had just confirmed our gun deal. Looks like it wasn’t going ahead until he met them. We must have passed, although I made a point not to introduce myself to him. He knew who I was. I knew who he really was.
And the only reason I was doing this deal was so Amber could be here, but it sounded like she wasn’t going to be having anything to do with it.
“I’ll confirm it, and we can talk about it tonight. You should go, your car is waiting and you have a twelve o’clock.” Amber pulled her hand from his, and he was quick to kiss her on the cheek.
“And while I’m gone, I don’t want to hear anything on what we discussed on the plane,” he looked at her, as if he was telling her off.
She sighed. “I told you I could handle it.”
“And I told you I don’t want you to.”
She pursed her lips. “Fine,” she said, but the Amber I knew never backed down.
“I’ll see you at my place, tonight. Call me if you change your mind about the seven appointment.” He gave her one last glance and said goodbye to her brothers, and left.
So, if the deal was going to go through, it seemed the decision was in her hands. She smiled at her brothers.
“Ok, so I’m tagging along with you lot for the day,” she said and went to get her suitcase but Cole was quick to grab the handle and drag it along.
“Good, because we bought a house,” Cole said, walking next to her.
“What? You moved out of the clubhouse?” She frowned, like it wasn’t possible.
“Yep,” they all chimed
“And we are hoping you will be looking to move in.” Tyler grinned at her. “Troy said you weren’t going back to dad’s?”
“I’m staying with Tae.”
“Yeah, but he is going to fly out, right? He is visiting?” Troy said, I knew he was dying to know the answer to that question.
Was Amber back for good, or not? I watched her expression, and it wasn’t readable.
“Depends on something,” she muttered, dodging their intense looks. “And, before you even ask, Tae is a friend; he’s not a boyfriend and we aren’t dating.”
We walked outside.
“So, what’s with the private dinner?” Adam smirked at her. “You don’t have to lie to us.”
“Not lying, and that just means he wants to talk.” She came to a stop at the boys’ bikes. “He doesn’t like having private conversations in public.”
“You seem like a couple.” Troy only said that because of what we had just witnessed.
I was still staring at her and it was when she glanced at me that I saw the pain in her eyes.
“We aren’t,” she said firmly, still looking me in the eye. “I’ve learned my lesson when it comes to relationships
.”
That was my fault.
“Speaking of which…. I have to see Blake while I’m in town.” She wouldn’t look me in the eye again.
“Why?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. She said she would never go see him again. She had promised me that. It was on the same night I broke up with her. Was she going back to him?
“He is using my name,” she mumbled, frowning. “And it’s bothering me.”
“How is he using your name?” I took a step closer to her, pushing Adam out of the way, so I could read her expression properly.
She looked up. “He is telling people I’m in charge. I haven’t even been in the country and I’m getting heat for it.”
“We can handle it,” Troy said as he pushed me back towards the car. “No need for you to be brought down by his crap.”
She sighed. “Letting my brothers handle him. Tempting.”
“Come on Amber, we owe you one,” Cole pointed out as he unlocked the car. “I don’t know how many times I’ve been tempted just to be put in holding, just to give him a fight.”
“That’s exactly what he is after. A fight.” Amber ran a hand through her hair. “It mightn’t even matter. I might not stay. Then if I fly out, I guess the problem stays here.” She was staring at the pavement. “He is making my life hell; God, some days I wish he would just go back to hitting me. At least that would bruise and heal.”
My eyes widened. I don’t think she realized what she’d said. That she’d admitted to her brothers that he used to hit her. They were all staring at her, and she was still staring with no emotion at the pavement. She appeared to be in her own world.
“Amber, what did you just say?” Cole dumped the suitcase in the back seat and walked towards her, gripping her by the shoulders and breaking her eye lock with the pavement.
She frowned. “What?”
“Did he used to hit you?” Cole was calm, not a hint of anger. It was the very rare side of Cole you would see, before he started shooting or choking someone to death.
She frowned. “Did I really just say that?” She seemed shocked for a second.
Cole nodded his head.
“Um, well.” She pushed his hands off her shoulders. “Yeah, he did. It was why we broke up. Wouldn’t have broken up if he could control his temper.”
“He’s dead,” Cole said simply, and all her brothers nodded in agreement. “Dead,” he repeated. “As of tonight.” Cole glanced at me. “You don’t really need me tonight, do you?”
He wanted to go and kill Blake. Fine by me. I shook my head. “We can handle it,” I said. “But for the record, Blake got a beating for touching her.”
Their heads snapped to me. Even Amber was looking at me slightly shocked. I shrugged my shoulders.
“She came back to her house black and blue, and her dad said she had a boyfriend. Turned out to be Blake.” I answered their unsaid questions.
“So, that explains his reaction to you when he saw you at my house that morning,” Amber said, like she had just put a puzzle together. “And why he was beaten up the day he came and saw me at the house to break up.” She smiled at me, and it hit me hard. “You did a good job.”
“Well, I didn’t love you then so he got off lightly.” I’d just said it. I was sick of hiding the fact I still loved her. I didn’t fucking care what her brothers thought of me for loving her, but they looked at me like I couldn’t possibly have said I still love her. “So, should we go?” I said as they just stared at me.
“Yeah. I have a prison to visit.” Cole was the first one to snap out of staring blankly at me.
“You can beat up him Cole, but you can’t kill him,” Amber said directly. “I don’t want you to deal with murder charges and he isn’t worth it, but, considering the hell he has been putting me through, I would like it if he beat him to the point of nearly an early death.” She smiled knowing Cole would like that.
His expression hardened like he wasn’t about to accept that. He would go to prison for murder. Cole wouldn’t care.
“Fine, but only because you asked nicely. Now, get in.” Cole opened the back seat door for her. “And, are you serious when you say you aren’t dating this Tae guy?”
She nodded her head.
“Then you aren’t staying with him. No sister of mine is a fling.” He closed the door after telling her that.
Good. I liked this even better. Their eyes went back to me.
“Don’t even think about making a move Jax,” Cole grumbled as he passed me and got in the car.
His request fell on deaf ears. That was exactly what I was going to do. I was going to make a move on her.
I walked around the car. If the boys were banning her from going to Tae’s place tonight, it meant she would be staying at their place. I smirked. The boys could handle the gun deal without me. I had more important things to do tonight than hand off millions worth in guns.
***
I pulled up to the boys’ new house. They had pulled strings and got the set up on the same day they bought it. When it came to money, they didn’t care. They wanted to give Amber a home.
And that’s what they did.
I don’t think she realized that they bought it for her though.
I killed my engine. The boys were handling the deal and I was going to spend time with the woman I loved.
Yeah. I loved her - incredibly and completely loved her, and I wanted her back.
I leaned my bike to the side and got off. Walking towards the house; I knew she was inside, and that she’d spent the day with her brothers. Her and I didn’t get a chance to talk.
In fact, she made it a point not to be by herself with me. The one opportunity we had had, she’d fled.
I rang the doorbell and waited.
The door opened and I grinned immediately on seeing her. She was still wearing her suit skirt and top, but the jacket was gone and so were the heels.
She frowned at me. “The boys aren’t her,” she said slowly, looking at me. “But you know that.”
I nodded my head. “Not here to see them, sweetheart.”
Her eyes hardened. “Why aren’t you at the deal?”
Because you are more important. I shrugged my shoulders. “Why aren’t you?”
She lifted her phone and flashed it to me. “I am.”
I saw the camera feed on her phone. “Being the invisible hand?”
She sighed and nodded her head.
“Can I come in?” I took a step closer to her and noticed her clench the door tighter. “Please, sweetheart.” I took another step closer to her. I had learned the hard way. I had learned that my life was nothing without her. There was no life without her.
How could I ever think I could live without her?
She was glaring at the porch steps, not answering, not moving, and not letting me in.
“Come on Amber.” I reached out for her. My hands landed on her hips, and, dipping my head, I tried to get her to look me in the eye. I lowered my voice. “Please sweetheart.”
She looked up and I saw the debate in her eyes. “You should be at the deal. Not here.”
The deal was merely the pawn I’d used to get her back. She was the point of the chess game to begin with. I didn’t say anything. She had to know I would do anything to get her back, to make up for my mistakes.
She brushed my hands off her, and I thought if she rejected me right now, well I wasn’t sure what would be left of me. The only way I had been functioning was because I had known she was coming home but, as of tonight, my purpose to get up tomorrow morning wouldn’t be there. I couldn’t look forward to her coming home because she was home so I was hoping and praying she didn’t reject me.
I’d hoped at the very least it would take her time before she pushed me away, if at all. I’d used everything in me to get her to be close to me. To prove to her I had changed.
But, from the look on her face, she wasn’t going to give me a second of her time. I had to think of something. Quick. I had to s
ay something. Stop her ending us altogether. Stopping my chance of getting her back.
“Just give me an hour.” I pleaded with her. “I won’t stay a second longer.”
Surely, she could spend an hour with me? Hell, there was a time in our relationship when she was the one wanting to be with me, when she was pleading to spend time with me.
And I always pushed her away.
And right now as she looked up at me, with hardness in her eyes. I was beginning to feel what she would have felt when I did it.
Please don’t do it Amber.
The look in her eyes didn’t soften. She was about a second away from slamming the front door in my face.
I panicked. “Half an hour?”
Her phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down at it. “Deal’s happening.” She looked up. “You did a good job putting that together.”
“Does that mean I get half an hour of your time?” I hoped.
She clenched her eyes shut. “No.”
Rejection. I wouldn’t accept it. “Please, Amber. Just five minutes then. Just let me explain what happened.” All my life I had been taught never to be weak, but, in this moment, I was weak. Never let anyone see you as weak. Dad’s words repeating in my head.
He was the only role model I had. I admit he was a shitty one and, yeah, I picked up his bad habits. Like the need to be bulletproof. To never let anyone close. To never let anyone see you as weak. Strength was something Johnston’s prided themselves on.
But right now, I didn’t give a fuck. I was going against every word of advice dad had ever given me.
I reached out for her, cupping her face; God, I needed her to open her eyes. “Please, Amber. Five minutes.” She had me begging! God, I couldn’t be any more pathetic. “Please.” My voice wavered with emotion, just at the mere thought of the emptiness I felt without her. I never let emotion show, so she heard it, her eyes springing open.
Was that what she needed to hear? That I was empty without her?
“Five minutes.” I repeated. “Then I’ll leave.” How the hell was I going to convince her to take me back in five minutes? I didn’t care about that right now. Right now the mission was to get inside.
“Ok.” She said deflated and stepped back, my hands dropping from her face.