The Baby Arrangement

by Lisa Dyson

  Which, of course, set in motion a whole new set of problems. She’d already agreed to give Nick custody of the baby. To raise her without Bree.

  Even just the thought of no contact with her child made tears come to her eyes. She had to come up with a way to maintain custody without a huge legal battle. She wasn’t up for a fight like that. She needed to save her energy for her daughter. She’d begun reading about infants, and, judging from what she’d read, they took up a lot of energy. Sleepless nights seemed to be the norm. So how could she run her company without sleep?

  She wasn’t sure how she’d do it, but she’d figure it out somehow. Which was exactly what she did every time she was challenged.

  She was in the lobby of her building when Nick came to pick her up. She stepped outside into the sunny June day. “Good morning,” she greeted him as she got into the passenger side of his car and buckled up.

  “Good morning,” he said. “You look nice today.”

  “Thank you.” She’d worn her expandable waist jeans with a long, casual top that she already owned. Unless the top was pulled tight over her midsection, no one would suspect that she was pregnant.

  “Not that you don’t always look nice,” he added.

  She smiled, liking that he wasn’t as sure of himself as some other men she’d known. “You look pretty good yourself.” He was wearing jeans and a medium-blue T-shirt with an unbuttoned blue plaid shirt over it, the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows.

  “I thought we were all driving in one car,” Bree said.

  “Mom changed her mind. She’s going with Pete and Roxie. I think she was worried about the possibility that you and I might have to leave early after your scare this week.”

  That made sense.

  During the first part of the trip, they discussed neutral subjects as they headed through DC and were greeted by numerous familiar sights, including the Washington Monument and the Air Force Memorial with its unmistakable tall spires.

  They were on I-95 in Maryland when Nick asked her about her emotional breakdown at the doctor’s office.

  She knew the topic would surface sooner or later, but it still caught her off guard. “What about it?”

  He glanced at her and then back to the road ahead. “I wondered what it was specifically that upset you.”

  “I wasn’t upset.”

  “Were those happy tears?” he asked.

  “Look, I’ve told you before. Ever since I got pregnant, my hormones have made me overly emotional. I’m sorry that I burst into tears in front of you. I’ll try to do better.” She took a deep breath to calm herself.

  “I’m not trying to start a fight, Bree. And I’m also not trying to upset you. You know you can be yourself around me. I just want to talk about why the ultrasound made you so emotional.”

  “Didn’t you feel the same way when you saw our baby?” she asked. “You had tears in your eyes, don’t deny it.”

  He didn’t say anything at first. “You just said ‘our baby.’”

  She didn’t see what the big deal was. “So?”

  He glanced at her again for a second. “So you’ve never called the baby ours. Or even referred to her as a baby.”

  She didn’t like where this was going. “What have I called her, then?”

  “It.”

  “It?” she repeated.

  “Yes.” He paused. “Is that that the reason, Bree? Is the baby real to you now, after the ultrasound?”

  Damn the tears that she had to keep at bay. “Why would you think this baby wasn’t real to me all along? I’m the one who threw up, fainted, couldn’t make it through a day without a nap, as well as the one who has to keep a damned restricted diet. Do you think any of those things weren’t real to me?”

  “I’m not talking about the pregnancy,” he said. “I’m talking about the actual baby. Our daughter.”

  “So what does that mean? You think I had a sudden epiphany?” Which was the absolute truth, but she wasn’t ready to admit it.

  “I don’t know—did you?”

  She remained silent, not knowing how to answer. If she shared her feelings, would that make her seem weak? She didn’t like to be considered weak. She was strong. Even if she didn’t always feel that way, she didn’t like anyone to know it.

  Plus, she hadn’t yet thought through the idea of co-parenting with Nick. And she didn’t want her change of heart to cause him to panic.

  The next thing she knew, Nick had taken the exit for the rest stop.

  “What are you doing?” she asked as she looked at him and then back at the rest area.

  He pulled into a parking place and turned to her. “I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you still want nothing to do with our daughter after she’s born.”

  His request came as a surprise. She couldn’t form the words to either deny or acknowledge the truth. Instead, she looked down at her hands on her lap.

  He waited patiently for an answer that wasn’t forthcoming. “If you’ve changed your mind about giving her to me to raise,” he said, “then we can talk it through. We can come up with the right solution that will work for all of us.”

  She lifted her head. “We can? You’d do that?” She hadn’t expected him to be so understanding.

  “Of course,” he said gently. “Just tell me what you want.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know what I want.” That was a lie. She wanted her daughter and Nick and her company and her girlfriends. But she knew she couldn’t have them all at once.

  He placed his hand over the two of hers on her lap. “Can I make a suggestion?”

  She turned her head and looked into his eyes. “Yes,” she whispered.

  His hesitation was evident as she saw his throat work. “Marry me.”

  Her eyes widened as she stared at him, completely confounded by his suggestion. “Are you crazy?” Not once in all of this had she ever considered marriage a viable option.

  He put a hand to his chest and groaned to feign injury. “That was a serious blow to my ego.” Then he chuckled, a nervous sound that made her realize he wasn’t kidding. “I might be crazy, but I really do think it’s the right thing to do. For all three of us.”

  “The right thing to do,” she repeated. “Is that a good enough reason to get married?”

  He shrugged. “It’s a start.” He took her hand in his and looked directly into her eyes. “Somewhere along the way during this wild ride we’ve been on, I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  Love? She hadn’t expected that. Panic grew inside her, threatening to spill out and take over. She opened her mouth to speak, but he put a finger to her lips to quiet her.

  “Let me finish,” he said. “I know you’re not there yet, but I think you’ll admit that we’ve formed a special bond. More than just making a baby.”

  She didn’t say anything.

  “I think we owe it to ourselves to see where this could go.” He paused. “Now you may speak.” His lips twitched slightly.

  She swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed down the panic. “I agree about the special bond. You’ve been there for the baby and me the entire time.” She took a breath. “I’m just not sure that marriage is the way to go. I don’t know if it’s my father’s life and marriage mistakes that I’ve been watching from the front row, or whether I just don’t have what it takes to be in a marriage. It’s not something I’ve ever strived for. Besides, I know you feel obligated—”

  “No, absolutely not.” His denial was firm. “I never would have asked if I didn’t truly mean it.” He scratched his cheek through his beard. “I’ve been left at the altar before, so there’s no way I’d go through with this unless I was sure we were both on the same page.”

  “You were left at the altar? Literally?” Who would have done such
a terrible thing to him?

  “She actually called it off a week before the wedding, but there were still a lot of people to tell and professionals to negotiate with, as well as lost deposits. Then there was also the condo we’d bought together.”

  “She just changed her mind?”

  He shrugged. “I’m still not sure why she waited so long to break it off. Cold feet, maybe? We’d been together for three years, engaged almost a year. She said she simply felt we’d grown apart and that she no longer wanted to get married.”

  “Is the condo you live in now the one you bought together?”

  “Oh, no.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t live there with all the memories, good and bad. I moved in with my mom for several weeks while I sold the condo. Then I took my half of the profits and bought the one I’m living in now.”

  She nodded. “I can see why you’d be hesitant to ask me to marry you. Which makes me even more curious to know why you did. Despite your protests, it still seems you’re doing it because you feel obligated...because I’m carrying your child.”

  “Don’t you think that if I felt any kind of obligation I would have asked you to marry me as soon as I found out you were pregnant?”

  She shrugged. “I guess so.” She certainly hadn’t expected a proposal then or now.

  “The truth is, I didn’t realize until the words came out of my mouth that I truly do want you to marry me.”

  “And it’s not just because of the baby?”

  “Honestly?”

  She nodded.

  “I can’t say that under normal circumstances—”

  “If there were no pregnancy.” She filled in the blank.

  “Right. Without a baby involved, I probably wouldn’t have asked you this early in our relationship. But things are different, and there is a baby to consider. So I’ll ask you again. Will you marry me?”

  She’d never planned to get married or have children. How could she run her company and have a family, too? “I have to say no.”

  His eyebrows rose. “No?”

  “I’m sorry. I just don’t see marriage in my future.” She decided to be completely honest with him. “I’ve never wanted a family of my own. I saw how hard my father worked even though he had plenty of money. I also saw how he hired nannies to raise me instead of spending time with me. They were the ones who came to school plays, soccer games, dance recitals. In many ways, I’m just like him. I love my company and don’t want to give it up for a family. And I also don’t want a family who’s always on the back burner because I’m so involved with work.”

  “I understand that you’re confused. There’s no reason to rush into any decisions.”

  “Thank you,” she said, and meant it.

  “So now what? We just stay with the original plan?”

  She nodded.

  “How about this? What if we try living together?” He pursed his lips. “To see how things work out for now.”

  “To make sure that we’re all happy in our roles?” she added. “I don’t know.”

  She considered his idea, deciding that she could always end their living situation if it didn’t work out. There was no way she’d give up her condo for just that reason. “I suppose it would make life easier if I had someone to cook for me. At least for the next few months.” She smiled coyly.

  He grinned back at her. “You’ve been a good student so far. Maybe we can spend more time on cooking lessons.” He held up a finger. “I do have one thing to add to this agreement. That we reexamine marriage in the near future.”

  “How near?” She didn’t want to have this discussion every week.

  “Hmm, let’s say after our daughter is born?”

  She smiled. That she could live with. “Deal.” She put her hand out to him to shake on it.

  Instead, he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. She was pressed into his body while he kissed her passionately.

  A much better way to seal a deal.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  AFTER NEARLY THREE months of living together, Bree decided that having a professional chef at her disposal was almost worth the price of her independence.

  Not to mention the great sex.

  The further along in her pregnancy she got, the more her cravings grew, for both Nick and food. French toast at midnight, a broccoli-and-onion omelet for breakfast. No matter what she wanted to eat, Nick was there to make it. Even after numerous cooking lessons, she still could only prepare a few simple things. Nothing as complicated as Nick’s repertoire.

  He had other good qualities, too. He was fairly neat, picking up after himself and keeping the kitchen spotless in between times when the cleaning crew came. He even made the bed and did the occasional load of laundry.

  She’d also found that she was comfortable at his condo. She’d been skeptical at first and had almost called off the whole arrangement because they’d been unable to agree on whose place to move into—with neither wanting to give up their space, just in case the arrangement didn’t work out. As a compromise, they’d begun spending weekends at his place and weekdays at hers so she could still walk to work. Not an ideal solution, but this was a trial period, after all. It also made “moving” a nonevent. They merely both freed up space in their bathrooms and closets for the other’s things after doing some shopping for duplicate personal items like toothbrushes and shampoos.

  Ever since that day at his family’s reunion and their warm welcome, she’d begun to feel that she was part of a real family. She’d seen her grandparents every few weeks, as well as her aunt Karen. And meeting her cousins had been a real treat, too.

  Bree usually made the trips to Delaware to see them, but this coming weekend her grandparents were coming to visit her. Karen would drive them. Bree had said she was happy to go to them, but they’d insisted that she was too far along in her pregnancy to drive that far from home. She disagreed, but hadn’t argued. She’d just been happy that they had accepted her and her baby so quickly.

  As she sat in her office that mid-September day, while her daughter did somersaults or dance moves or something wild, Bree reflected on how great her life had become. Not that it hadn’t been good before, but she could definitely feel the difference.

  She put a hand on her abdomen, loving the feel of the movement beneath it. She was anxious to meet this little one, but she still had several weeks to go.

  Her office phone rang. “Bree Tucker.”

  “Good morning, Bree. This is your father.”

  She hadn’t spoken to him since she’d called him for information about her mother. “Hi, Dad. What’s up?”

  “I’m calling to tell you that you have a new brother.” He actually sounded excited by the news, and she was happy for him.

  “That’s great.” She should probably tell him about her pregnancy. “Is everyone okay? What did you name him?”

  “He and his mother are doing well,” her dad said. “And we’ve decided to name him Calvin Tucker Junior.”

  Surprise, surprise. She should have seen that one coming. “I have news of my own that you should probably be aware of.” She breathed in and out to calm herself.

  “News? What’s your news?” he asked.

  She chickened out. “I went in search of my mother.” She paused to see if he would respond. When he didn’t, she continued. “I found my aunt and my grandparents. Did you know that my mother died a long time ago?”

  “How would I know that, Bree?” His tone sounded deceitful, and he’d also answered a question with a question.

  This was perhaps not the best time to have this conversation—essentially in the middle of a birth announcement—but she’d already begun. No turning back now. She had to push on.

  “Maybe because you were keeping an eye on her after you sent her away.” Ever si
nce they’d first spoken, Bree had thought a lot about what her aunt had told her about people coming around asking questions about her mother. The only answer she could come up with was that her father was behind it.

  “Why would I do that?” Again, a question. “She had enough money to live on. As long as she didn’t bother us, I had no reason to keep track of her.”

  “But you had investigators checking on her anyway.”

  After several seconds of silence, he finally admitted it. “So what if I did? I couldn’t afford to have her change her mind and come back for you. That would have disrupted our lives.”

  Bree’s pulse pounded in her temples. “And you knew she’d died, but you didn’t tell me.”

  “What good would have come of it? You were too young at the time to understand, and then it never seemed important as you got older.”

  “It didn’t seem important? That my mother was dead?” She couldn’t believe he had actually said those words. He’d always been outspoken, but this was downright hurtful.

  “I guess I should have told you,” he said.

  That was about as much of an apology as she was going to get. “I have other news, too.” She might as well spill it since they didn’t talk on a regular basis.

  “Good news, I hope.”

  “You can decide for yourself.” She couldn’t help feeling that him finding out about her pregnancy this close to delivery would hurt him a little, which would make up for how much he’d hurt her by not telling her about her mother. “You’re going to be a grandfather.” She automatically made the news about him, knowing his ego needed that.

  “What!” His outraged reaction wasn’t quite what she’d hoped. “You’re pregnant?” His shock would have been expected if she’d been a teenager, but she was thirty-three years old.

  She needed to calm him down. “I’m having a girl,” she said evenly. “You’re going to have a granddaughter in mid-October.”

  “Who’s the father?”

  She swallowed. “His name is Nick Harmon. He’s a chef and owns a restaurant in Old Town.”