Letting out a brief, sarcastic laugh, I reply, “Good? Looks like you failed 2nd grade English if you define what you're wearing as good.”
She is infuriated as she sneers inches away from my face, “Don't be hating on me because I'm on tour with your boyfriend.”
That wipes the sarcastic smile off my face. She has brought up a valid point, what the hell is she doing here?
“Oh, he didn't tell you?” she asks innocently, even though she is well aware of what the answer is. “I've been on tour with him all month. And you know what they say, what happens on tour, stays on tour. But in your case, I can make an exception and tell you all the juicy details if you like. I can start off by telling you what happened in Boston,” she gloats, flicking back her hair, and pursing her lips.
Boston?
Staring down at my white knuckles, which are crushing the beer bottle in my hands, I tell myself bottling her is not the right thing to do. But as I peer up at her self-satisfied face, I have to remind myself of the reasons why I shouldn’t.
Just as the pros outweigh the cons, the barstool next me scuffs across the floor, announcing the arrival of Jasper.
He can read my expression instantly as he places a reassuring hand on my leg. Looking over at him and lifting an inquisitive brow, he opens his mouth, in attempts to hopefully explain what the hell is going on. But Indie interrupts as she gushes, “Oh Jasper, you sounded amazing as usual.”
Jasper gives her a weak smile. “Thanks Indie. Everything okay here?” he asks, directing the question my way.
It most certainly is not okay, but before I have time to reply, Indie nods. “Oh yeah, just us girls catching up. I was just telling Ava how nice it is to see a familiar face after being on the road with you boys for so long.”
I have to do a double take when I hear her phony reply. Jasper sneaks a glance my way, and I'm certain I look as stunned as I feel.
Before I have an opportunity to call her out on her lie, she quickly adds, “Anyways gotta go, see you guys tonight.”
She lightly strokes Jasper’s arm as a goodbye gesture, and scurries off before I get a chance to break her fingers. To add to insult, she slyly flicks a cunning smile over her shoulder when she is a few feet away, knowing all too well I am absolutely livid.
That's all the motivation I need. I am up off my seat, ready to take this bitch down!
Jasper latches onto my arm, searching my face. “Ava hey, what’s going on?”
Taking a calming breath, I turn towards him and hate the venom that is laced behind my words, but I can’t stop myself. “What's going on? Ha, that's funny. I should be asking you that.”
He runs a hand down his face, giving me a pained look.
“Oh, c'mon, you didn't think to mention your conniving scheming ex-girlfriend was on tour with you?” I cross my arms over my chest, daring him to lie to me.
Jasper shakes his head, his blue eyes narrowing. “Well no, because she's not on tour with me, she's Blake’s girlfriend.”
I give him a questioning look, and when he doesn’t elaborate, I probe, “Who the hell is Blake?”
“He's Flames’ lead singer. She's not staying in our rooms or anything like that. I hardly see her.”
When I give him a disbelieving look he emphasises, “Honestly.”
I look away from him, biting my lip in anger and frustration.
“When I’m not sound checking or performing, I’m catching up on sleep or I’m talking to you. Being on a tour bus with a zillion other smelly guys doesn’t really allow much sleep. So when I get five minutes to myself, I crash.”
The honesty in his voice is clear, but that doesn’t excuse the fact I am pissed.
“Why didn't you tell me? You know how I feel about her.” I sigh, lowering my chin to avoid his eyes.
He exhales noisily. “Because the few times I got to speak to you, I didn't want to waste my time talking about her. The only thing that's important to me is you. Everyone else can go to hell.”
I quickly turn my head, resting my chin against my shoulder in contemplation. How does Indie manage to do this time and time again?
“I hate that she is with you,” I whisper sadly.
All my fears of Jasper leaving me for Indie have resurfaced, and I clutch my stomach in grief.
“Hey, don’t do that. She is not with me Ava. This is why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d react this way.” The ache in his voice is more than evident. “Look at me baby, please.”
I stubbornly keep my face turned and mumble, “How’d you expect me to react? She won’t let you go. She’s made that point clear on more than one occasion.”
When he senses my despair, he lightly grasps my chin between his thumb and forefinger, but I resist.
“Don’t do this,” he whispers sadly.
“Don't what?” I ask, working my bottom lip feverishly.
“Don’t let her come between us Ava, please.”
When I hear the sorrow in his voice, I finally budge under his grip to face him.
“Why are you so blinded by her and her lies?”
I won’t let this go, and I know I shouldn’t be reprimanding him because I am doing the same thing with Harper. But Harper is different. He isn’t a devious ex who would stop at nothing till our relationship was ruined. He’s not in Jasper’s face, putting nasty ideas into his head, and in all fairness, he isn’t even aware of Jasper. But after the second proposal today, I have decided to tell Harper that I am in a loving, happy relationship, and if he doesn’t quit it with this marriage crap, then he can kiss our reconciliation goodbye. But would Jasper do the same with Indie? I hate that I can’t answer that with conviction.
“I am so sick of having this argument with you,” Jasper huffs, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead.
“Yeah well, so am I.” Feeling sick to my stomach, I need to get away from this suffocating situation.
Turning around in attempts to leave, Jasper catches my wrist, but I shrug out of his grip because I am annoyed at him and Indie. But more so, I am annoyed at myself. Why do I let her get to me? Why?
Jasper searches my face desperately when he reads my vacant expression. His rich brown hair is pulled into frenzy and I can feel his frustration. “What do you want me to do? This is out of my control. I want you, Ava. Just you. Please trust me.”
Shaking my head and biting my lip to stop myself from screaming at his ignorance, I simply reply, “Jasper, I trust you, I do. I just don't trust your judgement when it comes to her.”
And with that, I leave before I do or say something I will regret.
Chapter 8
Goodbye for Good
Singapore
I throw a hairbrush at my reflection.
I have no right to be mad at Jasper.
I haven't told him about Harper because I know he will react how I did today. Like a freakin’ idiot. I lost all sense of reason when I saw Indie, and once again she got the better of me.
I owe Jasper an apology, and I also owe him the truth about Harper. I am not looking forward to that conversation, so I search through my closest for my best grovelling outfit.
Deciding on tight blue jeans and a navy blue tank, I tie my long brown hair into a messy bun, and blow my fringe off my face, annoyed. I know no amount of grovelling with excuse my insolence, and the only way I can absolve myself is through honesty. I gulp at that thought.
I decide to add my lucky Chuck Taylors for good measure, as I need all the luck I can get.
*****
Even though I stormed off in a huff, Jasper has left me a VIP Pass at the front window. The venue is a largish arena, holding around three thousand patrons. And I feel like I am in a dream, as those three thousand patrons are chanting for Passengers of Ego, or should I say, they are chanting for Jasper.
Wiping my clammy palms on my jeans, I am standing off to the side of the stage, waiting for P.O.E to start their set. This is the first time I have seen them play outside of ‘Little Sisters,’ and a sens
e of pride sweeps over me. Jasper deserves this. He deserves the fame and fortune that comes with being a rock star. I know Jasper would scoff at such a statement, because in his eyes, he’s not a rock star, he’s just a boy doing something he loves.
The lights dim and there is a thunderous roar from the crowd, as they know the wait to see their idol has finally come to an end. Suddenly I have a thought, maybe I shouldn’t be here. Maybe Jasper left me the pass I am currently wearing around my neck, hanging from a lanyard, before we had our argument. Maybe he doesn’t want me here. Oh God, I feel sick. I could maybe pull a runner, but with the dimmed lights, I will most likely face plant down the stairs. I am just going to have to be brave and face the music- literally.
Lucas takes his place behind the drums and he looks as buff as ever, my best friend is one lucky girl. He picks up a drumstick and twirls it around his fingers while standing up, looking at the crowd. The huge goofy grin makes him look like a big kid in a candy store, filled with adoring fans. I can see why my best friend is head over heels for him.
Then out stroll Andy and Shooter, picking up their instruments and waving to their fans. Lucas taps his drumsticks and the boys start their rocky intro. This is just a striptease as such, heightening the anticipation, prepping the crowd for their idol, Jasper White.
My clammy palms become clammier and I take a couple of deep breaths, as all of a sudden, a bright white light beams down into the centre of the stage, and out saunters Jasper. His deep red guitar is strapped around him, and the crowd erupts into deafening cheers.
My breath catches in my throat when I see him. He looks like he belongs on every cover of every music magazine, with his face plastered on the walls of pubescent teenage girls all around the world. He looks like a Rock God!
He never dresses to impress because he is simply impressive, without even trying. He is wearing tight, and when I say tight, I mean TIGHT black jeans with a black belt. Peering up at his chest, I have to rub my eyes to ensure I am not seeing things, as he has cut the sleeves off a white t-shirt with a logo that looks all too familiar. The t-shirt he is wearing reads, The Culinary Institute of America, and only he can pull off wearing my t-shirt, looking like a total hottie. I bet he stole it from my room, the little thief! It is too big to wear anywhere apart from the bedroom, as it dwarfs my tiny frame. But on Jasper, it fits perfectly.
Staring open-mouthed, my approaching tears sting my eyes because I know he is wearing this for me. I know that he harbours no ill-feelings towards me after our argument, and I promise myself then and there, to never let Indie or my insecurities get the better of me ever again. He has told me without a single word that he loves me, and that everything is okay.
He cups the microphone and lets out a growl, which sends my skin into a fury. His voice always does this to me, but tonight, after seeing him all but declaring he belongs to me, I am breathing embarrassingly heavy.
Jasper starts singing, and I chant along with him as I have memorized the lyrics by heart. When he pulls away to catch a breath, his eyes light up when they lock with mine. And I can instantly tell by the huge grin that is plastered all over his face, he is more than happy that I am here. My heart does a tiny backflip, and I give him a wave with my pointer finger. He gives me a quick wink and goes back to ruling the stage.
Hugging my arms into my chest, I am quite certain I look like a swooning schoolgirl, but I could care less because the man I love, more than life itself, loves me back just as much.
Lost in all things Jasper, I fail to notice Indie glaring at me from across the stage, until halfway through the performance. So I do all I can do in a situation like this.
I cross my arms over my chest smugly, and raise an arrogant eyebrow her way. I know she reads my self-satisfied smirk for what it is, but just in case she is totally oblivious to my gloating, I flip her the bird and blow her a kiss with it.
Suck it, bitch.
*****
The set was amazing, and after the boys finish up, I wait for the main act, Flames, to hit the stage. I am not sure if I am allowed to stay onstage, but I am assuming this VIP pass entitles me to stay up here for the whole show. I haven’t been told otherwise, so I wait quietly, hoping Jasper will come out and join me.
My hopes are answered when I feel and smell Jasper behind me. His presence surrounds me, and wraps me in its warm embrace.
Twisting around to meet him face to face, I do what is appropriate in a circumstance such as this; I kiss the living hell out of him. As I wrap my arms around his taunt neck and tug his tousled hair, I accede my kissing to express how sorry I am. He kisses me back with as much force, and I am drowning in all things Jasper.
Pulling away all too quickly, he rewards me with a small smirk. “Hey you.”
I nuzzle into his cheek, smelling his warm scent. “Hey yourself. Nice shirt.”
Jasper chuckles softly as he tightens his grip around me, but I know what I have to do. Pulling back to study his cerulean eyes, I know I am forgiven for today. And I also know I have to tell him about Harper, and just hope he is in a forgiving mood when I plead guilty. I am going to be upfront, and can only hope he understands.
I am unaware I’m gnawing my bottom lip to bits until Jasper releases it with his thumb. Peering up at him, I witness his small smirk turn into a coma inducing smile, as he is well aware of what he does to me. But this time around, I am nervous for another reason.
“What’s up?” he questions.
I have never been very good at hiding my emotions, and hiding them from Jasper, who is super observant, has always been an issue. But now, funnily enough, I don’t mind him being able to read me so well. I like that he is so in sync with me, and I like that he cares enough to get to the bottom of what’s bugging me.
“I need to talk to you,” I finally spit out, while wringing my hands.
He raises his brow inquisitively. “Okay.”
He passes the conversation baton over to me, and I all but throw it to the ground and run screaming for the hills.
Taking a deep calming breath, I psyche myself up as I can do this, but I’d prefer not to in a place where his devious ex can comfort him if things go south.
“Not here.”
His white smooth skin is illuminated by the stage lights, and that tiny scar which mars his bottom lip seems to be highlighted under the bright lights. I love that scar. That one blemish makes him all the more perfect because I know the story behind it. When I look upon it, I am reminded of the strength and hardships Jasper has faced in his lifetime.
Throwing my arms around him, and burying my face into the crook in his neck, I am petrified of losing him. I don’t know how he’s going to react when I tell him about Harper. And that scares me. More than anything ever has.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Jasper asks, his chin resting atop the crest of my head.
I am wrapped in a tight bear bug and I never want him to let go.
Before I can answer him, the lights darken and I know Flames are about to take to the stage, and I thank the stars I can delay this conversation for at least another hour.
Sadly, Jasper has other ideas. He pulls me out of his affectionate embrace and yanks on my damp hand, escorting me down the stairs, to my imminent doom.
*****
The car ride back to my apartment has been torture. Jasper has attempted to get me to spill whatever is bugging me, but I want to tell him when he’s sitting down, and not driving a high powered vehicle.
As we are standing in the lift, surrounded by an unusual uncomfortable silence, I begin to rehearse my speech. Now that I am minutes off confessing my secret, I know no speech or excuse will justify my deceit.
Thankfully the doors ding open and I bolt out, three steps in front of Jasper. My apartment keys in my fist begin to tremble lightly when I raise them to unlock my door. Only Jasper’s steady hand on mine stops my keys from rattling.
“Ava, you need to talk to me. You’re scaring the hell outta me.” Hearing the concern in J
asper’s deep voice kills me, and I know that once I open this door, Jasper might hate me.
I am still facing my door, with my head bowed.
“Come inside,” I whisper, finally getting my quivering fingers under control.
Jasper lets go of my hand and I turn the lock, which pops with a loud click. I flinch at the sound because everything in this moment is amplified.
Walking over to my small kitchen bench, I throw my bag and keys onto it, all the while avoiding Jasper’s eyes. I lean forward with my hands braced on the counter, holding on for support. My back is turned to Jasper, but I know he has taken a seat on the couch, as I can hear the squeaky springs whine in protest.
This is it Ava, time to shine.
A million and one confessions are racing around my brain, but those confessions are interrupted by my home phone ringing. I look at it.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
I wonder if answering it would be rude, considering I am about to come clean about Harper. In hindsight, I wish I just ignored my doubt and answered the fucking phone.
The machine picks it up and my heart stops beating.
“Hey babe, I miss you. Where have you been?”
Spinning around so quickly, I almost lose my footing, but it’s not my clumsy feet that nearly drop me on my ass. No, it’s Jasper’s blank expression that almost has me tumbling to the kitchen floor.
I make a frantic lunge for the machine to stop its taunting, but the malice behind Jasper’s words stop me.
“Leave it,” he sneers, and I do as he asks.
Lowering my eyes, I listen to my life expire before my ears.
“Anyway, I am just calling because I missed not seeing you today. I have become accustomed to seeing your beautiful face, and it’s really the highlight of my day, so get your ass over here and make it up to me.”
Harper lets out a soft chuckle. “And by the way, I found the most perfect place for a spring wedding. I am a patient and persistent man Ava, and you know I always get what I want. So, I leave you with one question, why won’t you reconsider? Because we both know it’s only a matter of time till you surrender to me... Bye my love.” And the line goes dead, along with my heart.
Surrender to Me (I Surrender Trilogy Book 2) Page 6