I shrug, because I totally agree with him.
“And you say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Chapter 21
It’s Done
This lift ride is killing me.
I have received quite a few disapproving grunts from the snooty clientele at The Four Seasons, but they can all take a flying leap because after tonight, I will never have to see their snotty faces ever again.
Finally, the elevator doors open to the floor that was meant to be my home, but never was. That feels like a lifetime ago, and I feel like a different girl from the one who first came here, marvelled by all its beauty. But now that I take a closer look at all the extravagance, I realize there is no warmth in this place. This was never me. This will never be me.
I can’t get this over with soon enough, so I bolt out of the elevator before I lose my nerve. I am a woman on a mission, and that mission being, breaking Harper’s heart. You'd think I would get some satisfaction being the deliverer not the receiver, but I don't. I feel terrible, but I feel worse stringing him along a moment longer.
I enter the room and actually cringe when I see the excessiveness of it. How could I have ever thought I’d be happy living this life?
“Ava?”
I turn to see Harper looking like I have never seen him before. A mess.
He rushes over to me, pressing me to his chest. “Ava, oh my God, where have you been? Why haven't you answered any of my calls or messages? I've been worried sick. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for the other night. I’m sorry for everything. I will never forgive myself for behaving like a total barbarian. Please forgive me.”
After a moment of awkward hugging, he pulls away and looks at me at arm’s length. “What happened? Were you robbed?”
I know he is implying my wardrobe is not to his liking, but lucky for me, that's not my problem anymore.
No point prolonging the inevitable.
“I'm leaving you Harper.”
Wow, I maybe should have started with something nicer to soften the blow.
His mouth pop opens. “You're what? Why?” he asks, disbelieving.
“Because I can't be with you.”
I instantly feel sorry for him, because I can’t find it in me to sugar coat this. I need this to be done. This is something that I should have done a long, long time ago.
“That's not an answer. How can you just stop loving someone?”
I think back to our time together in a karaoke bar when I asked him the exact same question.
My answer will differ to his however. “I never loved you to begin with.”
Harper looks as if I've slapped him across the face, and I berate myself for phrasing it the way I did.
So I quickly correct myself. “I love you Harper, but not how a fiancée should love her partner. We should have never rekindled a relationship, and I never should have accepted your proposal. I'm sorry.”
Harper looks stunned, his red rimmed eyes searching mine. “But, I love you.”
Biting my lip, I reply softly, “But I don't love you.”
“It's him, isn't it?” Harper asks sadly.
I know who he is, but I shake my head. I can't tell him I'm leaving him for someone else, because I'm not. I'm leaving him because of me.
“Ava, you're everything to me.” I can hear the catch in his voice, but I can’t back down now.
“I'm sorry,” I answer lowering my eyes, because hearing the grief in his voice is heartbreaking.
He slumps onto the edge of the bed and interlaces his fingers into praying hands. “Give me another chance. I promise I can change. We can call off the wedding. Anything. Please don't leave me.”
I can’t believe Harper Holden is actually begging me to give him another chance. But that doesn’t change anything.
Walking over to him and crouching on my knees before him, I open up his palm and place the ring into it.
“Harper, we’re done. I'm sorry.”
Harper stares at the ring, stunned. “Now I know how you felt... when I broke your heart.”
Biting back the fact that I at least had the balls to do it a lot more compassionately than him, and not in a freakin’ karaoke bar, I remain quiet.
“Can we remain friends?” he asks hopefully.
I don't know how to respond to him as he peers down at me with big puppy dog eyes.
“Okay...um, yeah sure,” I nod standing up, ready to blow this place like yesterday.
He quickly stands, giving me a chaste hug.
“Can I still come to V’s wedding with you? I would really like that,” he asks with his cheek pressed against the top of my head.
I freeze as I was so not expecting him to ask me this.
He pulls out of the hug, wiping his eyes. Oh My God, is Harper... crying?!
I feel like the world’s biggest asshole so I nod, instantly regretting my decision.
Harper pulls me back into another hug, and I half-heartedly hug him back.
“Thank you Ava.”
What have I just agreed to? Whatever it is, I have a feeling it’ll end badly.
*****
Harper is in the shower, so I take this opportunity to pack my things as I will be staying with my parents for the remainder of my stay. My suitcase is a lot lighter from when I first arrived, as I am leaving all of Harper’s extravagant gifts behind. I don't want them, and don't feel right taking them.
Pulling out my blackberry, I remind myself to buy an iPhone tomorrow.
I quickly send a text to Jasper.
It's done.
I go about packing when my phone chimes.
U ok?
:) I type back as a reply, because I am more than okay.
I feel guilty, but I'm okay.
He texts me back within a minute.
Can I come c u?
I gulp, thinking about Jasper’s affirmation of not touching me till I ended things with Harper. Now that I've done it, what kind of touching will I be experiencing?
Whatever that may entail, I have a feeling I will thoroughly enjoy it.
But I've got to go home, shower and go to bed, because I have V’s final dress fitting, and the wedding rehearsal dinner tomorrow. I know if we meet up tonight, I will be a walking corpse tomorrow. And V will kill me.
Not tonight...I’ll c u 2mro tho :))
As I reply, I frown, wishing I could spend the entire evening wrapped in his arms.
As that depressing thought crosses my mind, my phone beeps.
Counting down the minutes til then. xx
I place my hand over my mouth like a giddy schoolgirl and look at my watch.
Only sixteen hours, fifty six minutes and forty seven seconds to go.
Chapter 22
Too Good to be True
I am zipping around my room because my final dress fitting ran overtime, thanks to Dominique fluffing around with my hemline. Now I am running late, and V will have my head if I miss a second of the final wedding rehearsal and dinner she has planned. Tomorrow is her wedding, and I do not want to anger her in anyway because I've seen her angry, and it's not a pretty sight.
The doorbell chimes and I wonder who that could be. V left after the dress rehearsal to meet Lucas, and Jasper has a shift at the shelter before the rehearsal.
Grabbing my cardigan while slipping on my sandals, I descend down the stairs, and commend myself for not falling down them, and breaking my neck.
I look at my reflection in the hallway mirror and smile. I look like me again. A flustered me, but nevertheless, it's me.
I open the door, and the person before me sends me into a panic.
“Harper?” I ask, clearly confused. “What are you doing here?”
He clears his throat uncomfortably. “To take you to the rehearsal dinner.”
“Oh.” Fuck, I add silently.
I totally forgot I had told him about the dinner. But now that I think back, I remember telling him to clear his calendar, as this was a night he was not to miss. No excuses.
>
Under the current circumstances, I am surprised he is here.
“You don't have to come. I don't expect you to...um, escort me. I mean, we're not together anymore,” I say in hopes he gets the hint.
“Oh,” he says, lowering his eyes. “If you don't want me there, I understand. I just thought we were going to stay friends. Friends do these kinds of things together. You know, like that time in Singapore when I helped you through your rough patch.”
Damn him for bringing that up and making me feel guilty. How can I say no now?
“Of course, you're right. Let’s go because we're running late.”
Locking the door, I nearly fall down the stairs when I see his ride.
“Where's Roberto,” I ask, looking at the impressive grey BMW convertible parked in front of my stairs.
Harper shrugs. “It really was pretentious of me demanding we have a driver, wasn’t it?”
I turn to look at him, mouth agape. Harper is admitting he’s pretentious.
I've heard it all!
Letting out a small giggle, I reply, “You said it, not me.”
He smiles and opens the door for me, taking my cardigan and bag, and placing them in the trunk.
He slips inside and smirks. “So, you said you were late. You better hold on then.”
I let out a yelp as he zips into traffic at a speed that would rival the man of steel.
*****
Stupidly, when I handed my bag to Harper, I didn’t realized what he was going to do with it. Because it has been sitting in the trunk, I have been unable to text Jasper to warn him I am arriving with Harper.
I feel a knot forming in my stomach as we drive up the windy driveway of The Mayfair.
Harper comes over to open my door, while I am trying to figure out how to use these European door locks.
“Thanks,” I mumble as I step out of my prison.
He reaches down to hold my hand, and I quickly scoot away from him.
Harper senses my discomfort and frowns. “Sorry. Old habits die hard.”
“It's fine.”
It most certainly is not fine because if this shit continues, Jasper will blow a gasket.
But I shrug it off, not wanting to cause a scene.” Come on let's go before V sends a search party.”
We hurry up the driveway and when I enter The Mayfair, my eyes bulge out of my head. It is simply stunning. I look above me as there is a huge spiral staircase winding up to God knows where. I lower my eyes, and I can see my reflection staring back at me in awe from the polished floorboards. As I turn in circles to examine the room, I notice there are elaborate European inspired paintings of Roman Goddesses, beautifying the gold walls. The feel inside is classic glam, and it is perfect.
As I am marvelling at the magnificence of it all, V pulls me into a tight hug. “You're here, thank God. We're needed outside, so snap to it.”
I let out a laugh.” Okay, lead the way,” and move my hands in front of me in a sweeping motion.
Harper moves with us, but V slaps down her hand on the staircase banister, using her arm as a barrier so he can’t proceed any further.
“Wedding party only,” she says, emphasising the word only.
Harper expresses a smile which doesn’t reach his eyes. “Okay, I’ll just wander around this beautiful building.”
V glares at him. “Don't touch anything.”
Harper looks furious and I can sense an argument, so I drag her off before she combusts.
We are headed to the garden when she shrieks, “Please do not tell me you are back together with him because God help me, I will drown you in that lake!”
I haven't had a chance to explain the situation to V, as she has more important things to deal with than my dramas. I did text her telling her it was over, which she was overjoyed about. Now she looks far from overjoyed.
“No, of course not. He just turned up on my doorstep, all puppy dog eyes and I couldn't turn him away,” I reply quietly, because I am unsure where Jasper is, and I don’t want him to overhear me.
Of course V doesn’t care who is in audible range as she yells, “Why the hell not?”
I feel foolish as I admit, “Because I feel guilty.”
She looks at me with a puzzled look. “Pfft Ava, he didn't care when he did it to you.”
“I know, but I owe him,” I reply uncomfortably.
V scrunches up her face confused. Of course she is confused as I have not filled her in on my life- the soap opera.
“After this wedding, you and I need to talk,” she says while throwing me an incredulous look over her shoulder.
I nod quickly, because I couldn't agree more.
We see the boys standing with Mark, and I get all giddy when I see Jasper. He has his hands bunched into his jeans pockets, and his hair is sticking up at odd angles.
He turns when he hears us approaching, and instead of greeting me with a smile, he looks like I've just clubbed a baby seal to death. I know he's seen Harper, and judging by the way he is working his jaw, he is furious at me.
I slowly approach him and stand by his side, afraid of what he is going to say.
And of course he says nothing.
“Hi,” I mumble, wanting to break the ice.
“Why is he here?” he sneers under his breath.
Well hello to you too!
Mark is giving directions to everyone, so I quickly whisper, not wanting to disrupt his instructions.
“He just turned up on my doorstep. I couldn't turn him away. I'm sorry. I’ll explain it all, I promise. It's a long story.”
Jasper shakes his head furiously.
He turns to look at me with his big blue angry eyes. “Well, lucky I have all night then.”
****
The rehearsal went okay, considering Jasper was ignoring me for most of it. Now, I have to sit at a dinner table with my maybe boyfriend, and ex fiancée.
Wow, what a tart.
I am so apprehensive I have locked myself in this beautiful bathroom for the past twenty minutes. But I need to bite the bullet and get this over with.
Splashing some cold water onto my face, I look into the mirror and whisper, “It's now or never.”
Descending the steep stairs, I ensure I am holding tightly onto the railing, although falling down them wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Having a concussion would stop me from having to deal with the battle of my exes.
I enter the elaborate dining room where V’s reception is to take place. I am in love with this place; I just wish I could enjoy it more so.
Approaching the table, Harper stands and I notice Jasper White knuckling the tablecloth. There are about twenty people sitting at the table, and I can feel their eyes on me when I falter when Harper stands.
Great, it’s started already.
Harper pulls out my chair, and I sit down cringing.
I timidly peer up at Jasper who is sitting across from me, glaring daggers at Harper. Harper seems totally oblivious as he begins discussing the menu with me. Thankfully Lucas slaps Jasper on the back, whispering something to him which makes him smile. Well, it’s more of a snicker, but I’ll settle for that over the poop face he has been wearing all night.
Looking at the beautiful brass clock above the stage, I realize I've only been here for two minutes, and I'm already counting down the minutes until it’s over.
I start fiddling with my cutlery because I can feel Jasper‘s eyes on me, watching me closely. I writhe in my seat, not sure how to respond with him looking at me in such an intense way.
Thankfully Lucas’ dad stands up, his glass raised, and he is calling a toast.
We all give him our full attention.
“Thank you to everyone for being here to help celebrate this special occasion. When we first met V, we knew that Lucas had met his match.”
We all let out a small laugh because he is so totally right.
“We are so happy they have found one another, because they were made for each other. Love like theirs, it i
s something you only read about. And this commitment they are making, as man and wife, will only cement their love forever.”
Peering over at Jasper, who is looking at me closely, I give him a small smile, which he thankfully returns.
“So on behalf of Julienne, Lucas and V, we thank you for being here to help celebrate their union. To Lucas and V,” he says, raising his champagne glass.
“To Lucas and V,” we all repeat, saluting the happy couple.
V has tears in her eyes, and I subtly wipe at mine which are starting to tear up.
Once the chatting resumes and dinner is served, I look openly over the table to stare at Jasper. He looks to be in better spirits as he is chatting away with his band members. He automatically senses me ogling him, and he turns my way, giving me a dimpled smile.
“Get a room,” V scoffs when she sees us staring at one another. But I can tell she is overjoyed that we are being civilized to one another.
I chuckle and must admit, I too am happy with the way things are progressing between us.
Someone who most definitely does not feel the same is Harper. As I look over at him, he has the stiffest upper lip and if the wind was to change, he would be stuck with a God awful face. He looks to be on the verge of tears, and I feel terrible. I have been ignoring him, and quite frankly, forgotten he was here. But this happens often when Jasper is around because nothing else matters.
To try and cheer him up, I bump him with my shoulder playfully. “Is your chicken any good?” I ask, trying to make conversation.
He nods. “It’s lovely. Want to try some?”
“You bet,” I smile warmly at him, feeling a little better knowing that he is at least enjoying one part of the evening.
He cuts a piece and places it in front of my mouth, waiting for me to open up.
I stare at his outstretched hand, as he is holding his fork out for me to try his food.
Me and my big mouth!
Not wanting to make a scene, I quickly accept and cover my mouth while chewing quickly.
“It's good,” I mumble, finishing it off, and I’m surprised I haven’t gagged on it.
Surrender to Me (I Surrender Trilogy Book 2) Page 21