Fate and Consequences

by Linda Wells

  He brushed back her hair and saw the edge of her bruise, and could just make out the deepening discoloration of her skin. It would look far worse as it began to heal, he knew that well enough. He attempted to suppress the rising tide of his anger for the man who had caused so much destruction, he was dead, and they must focus on their next steps. Lifting his hand to stroke his jaw, he could feel that the swelling seemed to be down, but it was still sore, and he could feel the stiffness in his hands and arms from the struggle. He closed his eyes and began thinking through the events of the day before. Above everything that had happened, the one constant through it all had been Elizabeth and her strength. Once she was away from Wickham, she had, through every turn, been optimistic, encouraging, unyielding … everything that he felt he was not. He never could have taken on Wickham if he had not been attacking Elizabeth. He likely would not have confronted Mr. Bennet if it was not to save his engagement, and he wondered if he could have comforted and spoken to Georgiana had Elizabeth not taught him how. His love for her seemed to grow with every moment, and he wondered if there was a limit to her strength, or if she was a master at hiding her feelings just as he was.

  Elizabeth murmured in her sleep and he bent to listen. “Willlll.” His smile grew and he brought his arms around to hold her close. His meandering gaze took in the shadowed details of her bedchamber, seeing the little touches that he had not noticed before, and realized that she had filled the room with her memories, just as he kept little reminders of happy moments. His eyes rested on the door to her closet, where Jane had blushingly directed him to enter when she appeared in her own chambers the evening before. He had walked cautiously through the small forest of gowns and ladies’ clothing hanging on pegs to appear with delighted surprise in front of Elizabeth’s bed, where she sat smiling warmly. He heard the firm click of the door behind him on Jane’s side and he copied the motion by turning to close Elizabeth’s door. It was the work of a moment to tear off his robe and slippers and climb into the bed beside her. It was also the work of only a few more moments for them to realize that despite the desire they both had to share their love in a physical way, they were exhausted. After a few sweet kisses and caresses, Darcy spooned his body to hers and they were soon asleep.

  It was just as well. He gently wrapped a long curl around his finger. If we had given in to loving each other, there may have been the consequence of that action to address, and until we have a wedding date in mind, it would be best to try to rein in our desire. He closed his eyes again and rested his cheek on her head, and was just drifting back to sleep when he became aware of Elizabeth’s shoulders shaking. Darcy lifted his head and bent to study her face. She was crying, her eyes were squeezed tight and she clearly was trying to muffle her sobs by pressing her face down into his chest. “Lizzy!” Darcy turned to lie on his side, and pulled her against him. “Please, sweetheart, tell me what is wrong?” He petted her hair, rubbed her back, rocked her, and still she wept. Wracking sobs shook her body, and his nightshirt was soon soaked with her tears. Darcy was desperate to comfort her, but not knowing how, he held her and whispered how much he loved her. He was not sure if she was simply spent or if he said the correct words, but eventually her sobs became gasps, and then she quieted, burrowing against him. Darcy breathed a sigh of relief as she regained control and kissed her cheek. “Lizzy, please talk to me, what troubles you?” She sniffed but said nothing, only clutching him tighter.

  He searched for something to say. “Is it your father? I know that he asked for a day to think about when we would wed, but between your mother and my talk with him yesterday, he has agreed that our engagement will continue. I personally would prefer that we marry before we leave for Pemberley, but if he is obstinate, we have a beautiful chapel on the estate, and I am sure my aunt and uncle will gladly come from Matlock to attend.”

  She sniffed. “No William, I am not so worried about the wedding, we will marry very soon, like you, I too am tired of the delays. If Papa had simply allowed us to marry a month ago, none of this would have happened.”

  Darcy kissed her gently, feeling the bite mark on her perfect lips and internally cursing Wickham anew. He wiped away the tears on her cheeks with his thumb. “What bothers you, my love? It seems I have too many choices of terrible topics, so you will have to help me along if I am to help you.” His lips curled with his little smile and his eyes warmed.

  “I believe that I am overwhelmed with everything. All day yesterday as each new event occurred, I kept saying to myself, I want to go home.” She smiled at the confused look that spread over his face and caressed his furrowed brow. “I realize that sounds ridiculous coming from a girl lying in her own bed, but … I think that it just means that I want to go home, to our home, wherever that is, and be with you. It seems that even if we have managed to repair the damage created by the gossips in Meryton, I will never look upon that village as a friendly place again. I will never see the people there as my friends, and will always see the sneers on their faces, and wonder what they are thinking under their smiles. I can never walk into the woods of Longbourn again without remembering Georgiana’s flight or feeling Wickham’s hands on me. And even here in this room, how can I sit in here without remembering you bursting through the door with a look of deepest despair when you thought you had lost me forever?” Elizabeth caressed his face and looked up into his eyes. “I want to go home with you.”

  “Lizzy.” Darcy whispered and kissed her. “Then perhaps we should simply make our own plans, and not wait for the influence of others. Georgiana will be well enough to return to Netherfield today, she only had some bruises on her arms, although she is very troubled still, but Mrs. Annesley can keep a watch over her. I will need to speak with Richard … he seemed determined to understand the meaning of Wickham’s claim of having help, and I have a feeling that I will need to check his lust to seek retribution. I see no reason why we could not arrange a small wedding in two day’s time, and then we can depart for Pemberley. My relatives may be disappointed in missing it, but their attendance was mostly desired to show society their approval. If we go to London in the spring, they can just as easily hold a dinner for us, and that will hopefully be enough. Does that sound reasonable to you?”

  She sniffed and nodded. “That sounds perfect. My only regret is that you will not be here tonight. I am afraid that I have grown rather fond of sleeping by your side.”

  Darcy smiled. “I believe my love, that fond does not begin to describe my feelings. Although I have done the best I can with your nightdress, it is not the same as holding the woman who owns it.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “You have been holding my nightdress when you sleep?” He smiled shyly and looked down. “Why do you think that I demanded it?”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head back on his chest. “I thought that you kept it in your treasure box.” He chuckled. “It is not that large, my love.” He began brushing his hands up and down her back. “What have you done with my nightshirt?”

  Her face lifted and she caressed his jaw. “I sleep in it.”

  His eyes grew wide and he smiled. “You do?” He turned to kiss her palm. “Thank you.”

  Elizabeth gently touched the dark skin around his jaw, and her tears reappeared. Darcy touched her mouth. “Are you sure that it does not hurt when I kiss you?”

  She looked down and the tears fell faster. “No, it does not. Please do not stop.”

  He pulled her to him and kissed her, gently, then began kissing her tears away. “Dearest, tell me what hurts.” He kissed her forehead. “Is the headache gone?” She nodded. He kissed her cheek. “Does this hurt?”

  She nodded again. “Only a little.” He moved and instead kissed her unbruised cheek and she smiled at his care. She gently touched his face and met his eye, and he smiled. “Yes, it is sore, but I will gladly accept your touch.”

  Elizabeth’s tears ended. She nestled against him and he wrapped her up in his embrace. His hands gently travelled
up and down her arms and he kissed her forehead. One hand moved down to caress her hip and he felt her stiffen and shrink away. He immediately moved his hand back up to her waist and she relaxed. Darcy closed his eyes and squeezed her. Wickham had done his damage, he would be delighted. “Lizzy, I just had an idea.”

  Nestled safe in his arms, Elizabeth did not realize that she had retreated from his touch. She looked up into his serious gaze and smiled. “What is it, Will?”

  “I thought that perhaps you might like to wait until our injuries have healed to marry, then we can go home to Pemberley and enjoy our honeymoon …” His voice trailed away.

  She sat up to look at him with concern. “But you just said that we could marry in two days, you said that Georgiana should return to Pemberley … our bruises will require weeks to disappear.”

  “I think that bruises are not the only injuries to heal.” Darcy brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and saw her confusion. His eyes remained locked with hers, but his hand ran down her side and again rested on her hip. She jumped and her eyes widened. “Oh, Will!”

  “What did he do to you Lizzy? You have not spoken of it. Please tell me, I need to know.” The expression on his face was a mixture of worry and pain.

  She dropped her head onto his chest and began to cry again. Darcy held her close, and fiercely kissed her head. “I saw his hands on you. Did he … touch you the way I did at Netherfield?” He held his breath and prayed.

  “No, but, he did run his hands over me.” Darcy closed his eyes, and attempted to blot out the vision that his mind created. “But mostly it was just … oh, I guess trying to unnerve me, he had that knife and he would … it was the way he spoke, it was quiet then shouting, he touched me, and the things he said that he did to you and your father’s wishes … He was just so angry with you and wanted you to be unhappy. I could not believe what he said was true. I was just concentrating so hard on keeping him occupied, and hoping that someone would come. Georgiana was afraid to run away, he threatened to kill me if she did.” She sobbed then said softly. “It was not a physical torture … but one of anticipation.”

  Darcy held her head to his chest and her body to his, gripping her tightly around her waist. “Damn him!” His clutch was possessive and he felt her shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to calm. “Forgive me, love.” He blew out his breath and kissed her, then slowly relaxed his grip, and her trembling stopped.

  “Do you truly wish to delay our wedding, William?”

  “No … of course I do not … I … oh Lizzy, I wanted to give you a beautiful wedding. I wanted our family around us; I wanted to have a simple ceremony where we pledged ourselves to each other forever. I wanted to take you home and love you … I dream of making love for the first time and giving you everything of me. I have been imagining you coming to me at the altar since the moment that Danny brought me your letter and saved me from my despair. Please tell me how to reassure you. Please … I can not bear to have you fear my touch.”

  She sat up again and held his face in her hands. “I do NOT fear you.” She sighed seeing his anguished expression. “Perhaps we do need time to heal a little. At least, so that I can walk down the aisle instead of leaning on my grandmother’s cane.” She smiled, but saw that it had no effect on him. He was still looking at her with great worry. “Just love me, Will. How did you manage to survive the pain that your parents inflicted upon you? That was not of a physical nature.” Darcy’s expression changed, and a light of understanding seemed to fill his eyes.

  “Yes, I can see the comparison.” He bit his lip and studied her face. “I retreated into a private world of my imagination, where everything was bright and happy.”

  “And created your treasure box.” He nodded. Elizabeth smiled. “Is that why you chose Benedick as your horse’s name?”

  He smiled a little and looked down. “Yes. As an adult I read the comedies to bring me a smile that my real life could not.” He looked back up at her shyly. “Until I met you.”

  “I think that you have found a way to reassure me.” Darcy’s head tilted and he brushed her curls while drawing his brows together. “How?”

  “If I was the key to reassuring you, then you must be the key to reassuring me. Just love me. That is what you needed for all those lonely years, and I know that is what I need from you. I think that you are correct. A rush to the altar is unnecessary. My only concern is Georgiana. If she must return to Pemberley, I doubt that my father will allow me to come with you. It is quite an accomplishment to have changed his mind on the engagement; I do not think we should push his tolerance any further. I will; however, be having a very candid conversation about his reasoning and the family secrets that he saw fit to tell you and not his own daughters.”

  As much as delaying the wedding pained him, the thought of a separation was worse. It was only the return of his obstinate Lizzy, with the flash in her eyes at her father’s behaviour that gave him any sense of hope that all would be well. “Let us see how Georgiana is this morning, and perhaps Richard could accompany her back to Pemberley. I will write to my aunt and uncle, and they could stay with her. We could remain here and marry when we originally planned, then go to Pemberley. I have a feeling that removing Richard from the area will be a good idea.”

  “I like that idea very much, I would still have you, and Georgiana would be safe at home … but why do you worry about your cousin?”

  Darcy pulled her back down to cuddle against him and kissed her gently. “Oh, I just know how he likes to find trouble when he is unoccupied.” He sighed and closed his eyes. Elizabeth knew there was more to it than that, but hearing the clock chime five times, she decided her time would be better spent healing in the arms of her William than in worrying about his cousin.

  AS USUAL, MR. BENNET did not sleep well, but he was particularly troubled after the long and terrible day past. He paused on his way down the stairs in the early hours of the morning. He thought he could hear the sound of a woman sobbing, and following the cries determined it came from Elizabeth’s chambers. He knew that Jane was with her, and would provide the comfort she needed. Lowering his head, he continued down the stairs. He thought over his sudden decision to try and stop her wedding because of the gossip, and realized if he had just allowed them to marry when they wished, the gossip over a seemingly hurried wedding would have been a pittance to what grew instead.

  Mr. Bennet lit a lamp and sat back in his chair, considering the conversation he had with Darcy after he had received the terse and unrepentant note from Elizabeth. He looked over to the empty chair and could see the exhausted, beaten man, staring at him defiantly, his energy revived by Elizabeth’s obvious devotion. Darcy was correct, he did think of him as a son. He liked the solemn young man who had wooed his daughter in their clandestine letters. He could sense how much Darcy had come to like him as well, and even, he thought, Darcy would regret losing a father figure, even one as flawed as he. That realization struck him to his core. He knew that he was not a good father, but to have such a man as Darcy regret him …

  “I received Lizzy’s note, I believe that I owe you an explanation for my behaviour today.”

  Darcy’s jaw was clenched. Mr. Bennet saw the muscle working, and noticed how his hands were balled into fists. There was no expression on his face, only the demanding, relentless glare. “What can possibly explain it? Notice sir, that I do not use the word excuse.”

  Closing his eyes to break the contact, Mr. Bennet sighed. “When Mrs. Bennet told me of the gossip in town, my reaction was … typical, I suppose. I told her to ignore it, to not speak of it, and foolishly thought that inaction would make it disappear.” He glanced back at Darcy who had seemingly not blinked. “Obviously that was incorrect. I had a niggling thought that perhaps the girls should not walk into Meryton today, given my knowledge, but did I stop them? No, because I would not be bothered with it, not wishing to hear the complaints I was sure would come.” He bowed his head again. “Then Lizzy returned with
your sister, and I heard what happened in town. I … I was brought back, years back, to my sister’s ruin. I could hear the accusations, the gleeful vindictive jeers by the townsfolk for one of their own. The way it stopped then was to send my sister away, by removing the source of their gossip … well, you see that my parents were equally ineffectual in dealing with such matters and I learned from them. I foolishly thought that you would wish to end the engagement to protect Elizabeth, being the gentleman that you are. But then you came and they were gone, and you gave no indication of anything other than, well of course your focus was on finding your sister.” He sighed again and rubbed his face with his hand. Darcy had not moved. “When you left, Mr. Collins settled in my bookroom and proceeded to expound continuously about your aunt, Lady Catherine, and her desires for you to marry her daughter. He told of the great disappointment the family suffered over your sister’s behaviour, he explained in explicit detail what happened to your sister in London and how your aunt attempted to secure her future by marrying her off, and that you refused … he filled my already overwrought mind with rubbish. I should have known better than to listen to such a man.” He looked over to the port sitting nearby and resisted the urge to take a drink. “And then you returned here, with my Lizzy in your arms, beaten. I could not bear any more. I had to act, for once in my life I felt that I had to take control. I made a foolish, ill-conceived demand of you both. I did what I thought a good father would do; I thought that I was protecting Elizabeth and my other daughters by removing you from her life, but in truth I was acting as I always have, ignoring the problem rather than facing it. My parents sent my sister away to save their reputations, and instead they died of heartbreak. I was forced to accept an unwanted marriage because of that same notion on their parts, and because of that, I have failed to acknowledge my sister since their deaths. I stupidly thought that I was doing the right thing for my family by demanding that you leave Elizabeth.”