Backburn

by Brandy L Rivers

  The bar was completely gone. The fire was out. Dave could have been the one to lose his life. He could have been injured.

  Her hands clenched into fists as she sucked in air. She needed to hear his voice, to see his face, to feel his arms around her.

  Poor Ashton hadn’t wanted to leave her side, but Shawna had finally convinced him with a bribe of ice cream.

  Brian cleared his throat. “Marissa, you okay?”

  Marissa turned her head. “You realize Dave was probably the first one in. He was the one who probably found the problem. What if he’d been the one to be hurt—to be killed? You saw the building. There were a few beams, the bar, the appliances. Everything else was scrap. It’s a miracle there weren’t more injuries or deaths.”

  Brian rubbed the back of his neck. “You know Metcalf is close with Gavin, right? This is going to hit him hard.”

  “Yeah, and that scares the hell out of me. I can’t let him sink that low again. I’m going to fight to keep him up here with me and his boy.”

  Brian stopped the engine. “Whatever you need, I have your back.”

  “Thanks.” She looked up at the firehouse and one side of her mouth tipped up. “Why here?”

  “Figured you need to see Metcalf with your own eyes. You aren’t going to get any work done otherwise.”

  “Thanks. I’ll be back soon, or text if I stay.”

  “Don’t rush.” He smirked. “Now go.”

  She climbed out of the cruiser and made it two steps before Metcalf came through the door and strode to her in long, purposeful strides. He took her into his arms and laid a kiss on her that made her weak in the knees.

  He stole her breath and finally leaned back, his eyes latching onto hers. “I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. After today I know exactly what I want. You in my life any way you’ll let me have you. There are two things I need. You and Ashton.”

  A smile pulled at her lips. “And I want you. I could hardly think while I worried about you today. Not knowing what happened tore me to shreds.”

  “I wish I could have called, or gone to find you. And we have a problem. There is no doubt someone planned the explosion. I think the same person, but they changed their method, or maybe they got smarter. I don’t know.”

  “Need to talk about it right now?”

  He rubbed his hand over his face. “Why don’t you go do whatever reporting you need to do, then come back? I need to talk to Ramirez, make sure he doesn’t want to escalate this. As much as I’d like to keep this here, they’ve killed one person and may kill more.”

  “Agreed, but even if they escalate, we can still help. And I want to find this person.”

  One brow arched. “Person? You’re still not convinced it’s one of the other people Ramirez listed?”

  “I’m not writing anyone off but Brad Cosgrove. I’ve seen nothing to convince me it couldn’t be Chelsea, but no solid proof she is the only option. So yes, she’s a suspect.” She managed a smile. “You should call your boy. I think I convinced him you were okay, but he was worried.”

  He paled. “You saw him?”

  “Yeah. And your mother. He’s okay, but they were shopping on Main Street when the bar blew. I’ll be back soon. I want to know what you found.”

  He pulled her back for a kiss before releasing her. “Go. Don’t be too long. I spent all afternoon wishing I could prove to you how bad I need you in my life.”

  “Be back soon.” Marissa hurried back to the car and buckled the belt. She watched Metcalf go back inside.

  “Don’t even try to deny how serious you two are.”

  “Yeah. Shit, I forgot to ask about my brother, Gavin, and Mitch.”

  “Your brother is fine. Metcalf is fine. All Kylie will say is that Gavin is stable. And Mitch didn’t suffer, from what she was told.” Kylie was Brian’s girlfriend. She happened to be a nurse.

  “Get us back to the station. I can fill out the paperwork, then get back here to learn what Metcalf saw.”

  * * * *

  Metcalf walked back into the station. Mourning had set in. They were all on the phone to loved ones. Metcalf walked to the back and took a seat.

  He should have called Ashton the second he got back, but he was trying his damnedest to figure the arsonist out. Feeling guilty, he pulled his phone out and dialed.

  It barely rang before Ashton answered. “Dad! You’re all right!”

  “Yeah, buddy, I am. Are you okay? Were you scared?”

  “So scared. I’m happy you’re okay. Marissa helped, but I was still scared.”

  “Sorry, kiddo. I hate that you were afraid.”

  He sniffled. “The news was the worst. Someone died and someone else was hurt.”

  Metcalf rubbed at his neck. “Yeah. Unfortunately, it was bad. I don’t have all the details.”

  “I can’t wait to see you, Dad.”

  “Few more hours. Be good for Grandma and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you more than you’ll ever know,” Metcalf answered.

  Before he could answer his mother came on. “David Andrew Metcalf, you should have called me the second you got a chance. You scared the hell out of me and your boy.”

  His eyes slammed shut. He was too busy worrying about Marissa and Ashton to think of his parents. “Sorry. I don’t have a good excuse.”

  “You’re working this case, aren’t you?”

  “I am.”

  She huffed. “Forgiven. Now find this bastard. I don’t like worrying about my boy.”

  He half-laughed. “You got it. Love you, and Dad too.”

  “I’m glad you’re safe. Now go back to work.”

  “I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up and laid his head back against the couch.

  Isandro sank into the seat beside him. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m okay.” He looked over with a strained smile. “I only hope Marissa is on the same page.”

  “Think it’s safe to assume she is. I’d never seen her look so relieved when I told her you were fine.”

  Metcalf nodded. “And she was worried you’d be pissed at one of us.”

  He shrugged. “Nah. Only if it was a one-night stand for one and not the other.”

  “Please. You’re more likely to do that than me.”

  He shrugged. “Yeah, at least until Arianna.”

  “Not much longer until the wedding. Excited?”

  Isandro nodded, a smile stretching across his face. “Yeah, I am. Never thought I’d want that.” He grinned. “The one girl I always wanted and I’m marrying her.”

  “Aren’t you glad you listened to me?”

  “Yeah, which is why I’m going to give you a piece of advice where Marissa is concerned. Hold on tight, and whenever she starts pushing away, pull her closer.”

  “Already am.”

  “She tried to push you away?” Isandro asked, his eyes narrowing.

  He shrugged. “In the very beginning. I convinced her I wasn’t letting her go so easily.”

  “Good. I saw the way you rushed out there the moment she climbed out of the cruiser. Doesn’t matter how fast it is, you’ve fallen.”

  “She stole my heart eleven years ago, Isandro. When she wouldn’t listen, I tried like hell to make it work with Jeanette, but Marissa showed me how it could be. Nothing with Jeanette was ever the same again.”

  Isandro grinned. “And she did that in a few short days.”

  “Everything is different with her. She understood my drive to be the best damned fireman. Why I wanted to help people. She got it because she was a cop and a damned good one.”

  “Make sure you tell her that. Then when she tells you not so fast, tell her you’re going to hang on until she understands you and Ashton are better with her than without.”

  “After watching two of our own go down, you bet your ass I’m holding on.”

  Chapter 22

  An hour of discussing what Metcalf had noticed, and Mariss
a didn’t have a clue where to go with any of it. She went through everything she knew and everything he said, and she was no closer to figuring anything out.

  “The lab already has the cord and what they could take. I don’t know, Marissa. I wish there had been video feed of who was in the grocery store, but the cameras were shut off by someone. Leads me to believe Brad Cosgrove, but that doesn’t make sense if it’s the same person. He was out of state with his family during the first fire.”

  “We’ll think of something.” She nodded to the door. “Right now, I think your boy needs you, and I think we both need a break.”

  “You’re right. I don’t want to cook, though.”

  “We can take him out. Pizza maybe?”

  “Sure.”

  She hopped up, packed her notebook and laptop, and started for the door. “Come on.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face and joined her. His shoulders drooped, sadness etched onto his face. She’d never been close with Gavin or Cadence, partly because of what Cadence had said the day after Marissa had seen Jeanette begging Metcalf to come back.

  A dozen calls since the night before and Marissa stared at her phone, thinking about answering the next time Dave called. The night before had been a mess. She went to the party with him, but then his wife showed up and as mad as he was, she wasn’t sure he wouldn’t forgive her.

  She took her coffee to a table and flipped through the pictures she’d taken of the two of them. If his wife wanted to reconcile, did they stand a chance? Jeanette left him, not the other way around.

  Cadence dropped into the seat facing her. “He’s going to choose his wife.”

  “They’re separated. Her choice.” There was no conviction in Marissa’s voice.

  “She’s pregnant with his baby. The one thing he wants more than anything. You’re not winning this battle.”

  Her heart sank.

  Cadence continued, “You can’t be what he needs. Let him go. It’s been a few days. He was always meant for Jeanette. And I’ll make sure he remembers that.”

  Marissa left the table, sliding the phone into her pocket, and hurried out the door. She didn’t even take her coffee she was so heartbroken.

  And she got it. Jeanette and Cadence had been good friends for years. Made sense she’d choose Jeanette’s side. She never really talked to Cadence before that, and it never came up again.

  Now, she felt bad for Cadence. She may have ensured Marissa never gave Metcalf a chance, but she did what she thought was right. And now her husband was in surgery to fix his fractured spine and legs. One leg was so badly damaged, they weren’t sure they could fix it.

  He was a father, a husband, a friend to the firemen. Then there was Mitch, who was an ass, but did his job well. His death would hit them hard.

  She hoped that with her by his side, Dave wouldn’t slide back into a bad place.

  “Are you planning to go by the hospital?” Marissa asked.

  “In the morning,” Metcalf answered. “I need to make sure Ashton’s okay first. He’s scared.”

  She took his hand. “I’ll be there with you. And as long as you go before I have to go in, I’ll come with you to the hospital.”

  “You would?”

  “Yeah. Unless it’s something you need to do by yourself. But if you want me there, I’ll be there.”

  “Thank you.”

  Staring into his eyes, she squeezed his hand. “I’m with you all the way.”

  * * * *

  The farther he got from the firehouse, the more he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. Dave knew there was nothing he could have done differently, and still, guilt weighed him down.

  He pulled into his spot and climbed down. Marissa pushed him toward the apartment. “Go change.”

  “Come with?”

  Nodding, she pulled him into motion. In his room, he gathered a change of clothes and let out a sigh. She stepped in front of him and lifted his shirt over his head.

  Marissa pressed a kiss over his heart. “This wasn’t your fault. I know it’s going through your head. But someone else blew up the bar. Not you. You got them out the moment you knew what would happen.”

  He tapped his head. “I know it here.” He covered his heart. “Doesn’t feel like it here.”

  “Because Gavin is a good friend. And you feel responsible for both him and Mitch.”

  He nodded. “I told them to get out. Why weren’t they clear? I was the first one in. I should have been the last one out. I wasn’t pushing people out of the way. I don’t understand.”

  She opened his pants. “You don’t have to. They were doing their job too. You may have been pulling double duty, but they had their own tasks. You aren’t responsible if they didn’t heed your warning.”

  “No, and they were out of the building, but they were behind me.”

  “It’s a big building. I’m sure their responsibilities had them farther in distance-wise. Maybe that’s why you were out first.”

  He nodded. Her logic made sense.

  She kissed his neck and whispered against his ear, “Let it go for now. Be here for me. For your son. For your friends and your family.” She shifted her fingers into his hair and pulled him down for a kiss.

  “Need you, need to feel you against me,” he whispered, pulling her shirt over her head.

  A moment later, she was undressed and pushing him down onto the mattress as she climbed into his lap and took him in. He combed his fingers into her hair and claimed her mouth, needing to connect in every way.

  She rocked over him, making love to him. He felt it all the way through his soul. He rolled them over, pinning her down and staring into her eyes. “You’re mine, Marissa. No matter what happens, I need you.”

  “You got me, Dave.” She pulled him back for another kiss as her walls rippled around him. Her sounds pushed him into release. Love, he wanted to say it, promise it, enforce it, but he was afraid to push her away.

  Her arms wrapped around him. “We’ll get through this. No matter what it takes.”

  “I want to hold you, but I know we should pick Ashton up.”

  “I’ll be there for him too,” she promised.

  “Going to need you to remind me I’m not a failure.”

  “You’re not, Dave. You never were. Come on. Let’s see if we can brighten your mood a bit.”

  She pushed him gently, and he climbed to his feet, pulling her with him.

  “Thank you,” he whispered against her hair.

  “Anything for you,” she answered.

  * * * *

  Dinner went by fast. Ashton avoided anything to do with the explosion. He sat as close to his father as he could. Dave kept hugging him to his side and taking her hand.

  Yeah, he was shaken, and she planned to stay at his place, even if she slept on the couch. He could slip downward at any moment, and she refused to give Jeanette any reason to bitch out on him again.

  Seemed like everything was coming down at once. Jeanette was dying. The firehouse was rocked to its core. But Ashton made Dave smile the more he talked.

  She made it her goal to keep Ashton going. Smiling at Ashton, she leaned forward. “This weekend we should go to a theme park.” She winked at Dave.

  “Really?” Ashton perked up.

  She nodded. “Oh yeah. I think after everything we’ve all dealt with, a good time is in order. What do you say?” Marissa looked from Ashton to Metcalf.

  “Yeah, I think that’s the perfect idea.” Metcalf took her hand with a smile. “We’ll have the best weekend ever.”

  The urge to kiss Dave ran through her, but she held off for Ashton.

  “I can’t wait to tell Mom. I’m so excited.”

  She smiled but didn’t know what to say. A hint of guilt drifted through her, but there was no way she’d change their plans. Metcalf needed to do something fun with his son, and right now, she wasn’t totally positive he would without a push.

  “We’ll have to make sure you’re done with all your home
work before we go.”

  “You got it, Dad.”

  Thankfully, the dessert came and Marissa managed to banish the questions about what Jeanette would think.

  * * * *

  Metcalf got Ashton to bed and pulled Marissa into his room. He threaded his fingers into her hair and pleaded, “Please, don’t leave tonight. Even if I only get to hold you, I need you in my arms.”

  She nodded.

  “You’re my lifeline. And as much as I hate it, I’ll probably have nightmares. I ne-need you to pull me out of them.”

  She caught his face in her hands. “Told you, I’m here for you, whatever you need. I won’t think less of you. We all need help sometimes. And it takes a huge amount of bravery to admit it.”

  He dropped his lips to hers and took a slow, deliberate kiss. The expected weakness never came. Instead, he drew strength from her support. Marissa held him up instead of letting him fall.

  “Have something to wear?”

  “I do. And it’s even appropriate.” She turned and made it a step before he pulled her against his chest. He kissed her neck, and she melted against him.

  “Can’t help thinking I should have fought harder to keep you before. Maybe my head wouldn’t have been so fucked for so long if you had been there instead of Jeanette.”

  She turned in his arms. “I wish things were different, but you can’t take the blame for that. That was my fault. I was terrified you’d want her back. Cadence found me the next morning, told me Jeanette was pregnant. That all you ever wanted was a child. I thought you’d take her back. Not to mention, I didn’t want to be my mother and fight for someone who didn’t want me.”

  “I wanted you, Marissa. Either way, even if you wouldn’t listen, I shouldn’t have caved. I should have stood my ground. Jeanette and I never fixed anything after she broke us.”

  “Hey, let her stay in the past.”

  He nodded and kissed her lips softly. “Change. I’ll do the same.”