“Fuck,” I said, and then I was running.
Derek yelled after me. For the first time in our entire career, he couldn’t follow me. If he let the woman go, she’d come running into the house as well, completely unprotected.
“Hayden!”
His voice and the screaming of the mother were drowned out when I broke through the front door. I found myself standing in a burning foyer. Stairs led up to the second level on my right. Past the stairs was the living room. On the left was what used to be a grand dining room. The kitchen must have been in the back.
Children didn’t process fires the same way as an adult. The child was only three. They wouldn’t know to keep low. They would retreat to wherever they felt safe. Wherever they believed they had the best chance. Even if it was the worst possible place to go.
I climbed the stairs two at a time.
It was infinitely hotter on the second level. The hallway was burning, and the wallpaper had already peeled and charred. I went down the hall and kicked open doors. Flames burst out of one room, and I shielded myself with my forearm. I kept going until I kicked open a door of a room that wasn’t on fire yet. It was thick with smoke, but I could tell right away that it was a child’s bedroom.
Powder blue paint, a Batman trim along the ceiling, plastic trucks and action figures all over the floor.
I yelled out hoping the boy would hear me. It only made me cough.
I dropped to my knees beside the bed and peered underneath. There was nothing there. I yelled again. No answer. My heart hammered in my chest as I got to my feet. I rushed to the closet and wrenched it open.
And there, sitting on the floor, was the little boy.
He had wrapped himself in a blanket and was covering his mouth and nose with it. There was smoke in the closet but not enough to do any damage yet. His eyes were red and watering and probably burning like crazy.
I went to my knees. “Hey,” I said, and I had to talk loud through my mask. “I’m here to help you. Okay?”
He nodded.
“Your mom is outside waiting for you. Keep the blanket over your mouth and nose. You’re doing a great job. I’m going to carry you out. Keep your eyes closed and hold onto me, okay? It’s going to get hot.”
The boy nodded again, and I reached out for him. He stood up and came to me and let me wrap my arms around him. He was shaking.
I held on to him tightly and stood up. I felt him nuzzle his face into my shoulder, and I made sure the blanket was wrapped around him and no bare skin was showing. For safe measure, I grabbed the one off the bed and threw it over him.
And then I made a mad dash for the stairs.
The fire had grown exponentially in the hallway in the short amount of time I’d been in his bedroom. He started crying against my shoulder.
“It’s all right!” I yelled against his ear. “Not much farther! Then you’ll see your mom. You’re brave. You can do this.”
My foot fell through the third stair from the top, and I nearly pitched forward and down the stairs. I steadied myself by grabbing the railing, which nearly gave way under my weight. I wrenched my leg out and kept going.
At the bottom of the stairs, flames blocked our path to the front door. The whole foyer was burning. I had no choice but to turn left into the living room. I shielded the boy with my arms as best as I could as I leapt through a wall of flame between the living room and kitchen.
I saw the back door. A sliding glass one. Luckily, the door was open, and it was just the screen door closed.
A wave of dizziness washed over me. I’d been inside too long, and just like last time, my lungs were filling with smoke. I needed to get the boy out.
The path to the sliding door was open, but it was far, and I didn’t know if I’d make it. I put the boy down and grabbed his shoulders. “Go right through the back door, you hear me? Then go around to the front of the house. Your mom is there.”
He shook his head.
Something loud shook my ears, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around him and covered him with my body. Something heavy struck my back and knocked me to my knees. One of the support beams from the ceiling most likely.
“Listen to me, kid.” I turned him around as coughs shook me. “Out through that door. Then around the house. Go!” I put my hand between his shoulder blades and pushed him forward.
His blanket was still wrapped around him. His little legs stumbled, and when he regained his balance, he started running for the door.
Yes, I thought as I struggled to my feet. The world tilted and spun.
He tugged open the sliding door and looked back at me.
“Go!”
He went. He ran as fast as his little legs could take him down and around the deck. I hoped he’d listened and would go to the front of the house.
My legs gave out, and I went down on the kitchen floor. I tried to catch my breath, but it felt like someone had just piled five hundred pounds on my chest. My vision darkened, and it suddenly didn’t feel so hot anymore.
And then the black and white checkered kitchen tiles were rushing up to meet me.
32
Mel
The hostess was looking down at her list of tables and frowning. “We have a party of thirty coming in in the next fifteen minutes, and I don’t have anywhere to put them,” she said nervously.
I peered over her shoulder at the sheet. “Well, we seated these four different couples around the same time, and they’re along that back wall. I’m guessing they’ll be done in the next ten minutes or so. You’ll have to hustle to get the tables cleaned, but that should buy us some time to seat the people who arrive first. Then as people clear out of that section we will add more tables. If anyone is upset, just come and get me, and I’ll bring out free appetizers and drinks.”
“I’m sorry, Mel,” she said.
“Don’t be sorry. This is the busiest it gets for us here. You’re doing great, Courtney. Don’t be afraid to ask for my help, okay?”
“Okay.” She nodded, and that terrified look she’d had in her eyes was gone.
I did a lap of my restaurant and paused to check in on every table. Everyone’s service was a little slower than usual due to how many people we had, but they were all very pleasant and kind about it. Nobody in Searing was ever in a hurry.
After chatting with all the tables and checking in with all my front house staff, I slipped into the kitchen, where Joey was working like a mad man to make sure every dish looked as beautiful as it tasted. His line cooks were working mercilessly and in a perfected assembly line to plate and garnish all the meals.
“You guys are doing great work,” I called over the noise of the clattering dishwasher. “You all get dinner for free when this shift from hell is over.”
“Thanks, Mel!” One of the line cooks grinned.
Joey waved me away. “Get out of my kitchen! You’re distracting my cooks!”
I did as I was told and went into my office for a sliver of peace. It had been a long day. After picking up Kylee from school, I’d come to work to get a head start on the day. We’d been slammed with business since four o’clock, and we weren’t staffed properly, so I’d had to wait tables for the first time in a very long time. My feet hurt and so did my back, and I was looking forward to going home to have a nice hot bubble bath and a glass of wine.
Tara was watching Kylee for the evening, and I was excited to get home to them. Maybe I would stop and get some treats on my way home if I got out of here early enough.
I was about to head back out onto the floor when I heard my cell phone ringing in my purse on my desk. I unzipped my bag, rummaged around for my phone, and picked it up. Derek’s name flashed across my screen, and so did the words “8 missed calls from Derek”. I blinked down at it as my stomach did a back flip.
I suddenly didn’t want to answer the phone. I knew it would be bad news. Nobody called that many times with good news. My palms were sweaty. My jaw ached. Oh God.
I finally answere
d the phone and lifted it to my ear. I couldn’t even open my mouth to say hello. My lips were sealed shut, and my hand started shaking as I held the phone.
“Mel?” Derek’s voice filled the line.
“I’m here,” I said. My voice was barely a whisper. “Is he okay?”
Derek sighed, and the sound made my heart tighten. “He took a big risk today. He’s back in the hospital. I thought you’d want to know.”
“Will he be all right?”
“Yeah. He’s just not in great shape.”
“I’m on my way.”
“All right,” Derek said, and we hung up the phone.
I grabbed my purse, threw it over my shoulder, and rushed out the door to the front of the restaurant. Courtney was pushing two tables together to prep for the party of thirty coming in. She looked up and smiled at me as I walked over. “You were right, Mel. We’ll be prepared for this party and—Mel, are you all right?”
I shook my head. “I have to go. Are you going to be okay on your own for a bit?”
“I don’t know. But I’ll figure it out. Joey can help me and so can the other girls. Is Kylee okay?”
I nodded as a lump formed in my throat. “Yes. She’s fine. This is something else. I just—I have to go. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Courtney said, but I’d already turned and rushed out. I ran along the side of the restaurant and then through the parking lot to my SUV. I got in, and my hand shook as I tried to get the key in the ignition. I couldn’t get it, and in a moment of sheer frustration, I let out a shriek of anger and slammed my hands against my steering wheel.
The horn went off a couple times, and people in the parking lot gave me wary looks.
I pressed myself back into my seat, closed my eyes, and took three deep breaths. Then I opened my eyes and slowly slid the key into the ignition. I started it up and put my seatbelt on. Then I paused and took three more deep breaths.
“Derek said he was fine,” I told myself. “Hurt but fine. You have to keep it together.”
As I drove to the hospital, I knew the frustration and the anger wasn’t because Hayden was hurt. It should have been, but it wasn’t. Derek had told me that Hayden would be okay, and I believed him. He wouldn’t have lied to me.
I was frustrated because I knew what I had to do next, and I desperately didn’t want to.
I parked my SUV at the hospital and paid an arm and a leg for parking. Then I went inside, found the first nurse’s station I could, and asked for Hayden Miller’s room. “He’s a firefighter,” I said when the nurse stared blankly at me. “They probably brought him in within the last hour or so.”
She scrolled through her computer and let out a tired sigh. “First floor. North building. ICU.”
“Thank you,” I said as I adjusted my purse on my shoulder.
I followed the signs in the hallways to the North building and then more signs to the intensive care unit. When I arrived, I had to press a buzzer for them to let me in. A more cheerful, human sounding nurse said through the speaker beside the buzzer, “Hello, who are you here to see?”
“Um, hi. I’m looking for Hayden Miller.”
“Oh, yes. The firefighter. Hold on one second, dear, and I’ll buzz you in. The doors will open automatically.”
“Thank you,” I said. My voice trembled. I blew out a shaky breath and ran my sweaty palms down my thighs. I was still dressed in my black dress pants and button-up shirt for work. I probably smelled like fish and grease and cheese.
The doors finally opened, and I walked through, my heels clicking on the floor. I was suddenly very aware of how loud they were as the nurse at the nurse’s station in the middle of the room looked up at me over her computer. She was in her mid-fifties with an auburn perm and plump cheeks. “Hello. He’s in room six, right in the corner there. He’s just waking up, so you have good timing, sweetheart.” She pointed to a room with an open door in the far corner.
I nodded. “Thank you so much.”
Then I began walking slowly toward it. I didn’t want to go inside. I knew once I did, I couldn’t come back out. I couldn’t pretend this never happened.
I stopped when I was outside. Just go in. I willed myself to take another step. Stop putting it off. Just go in.
I stepped through the door and locked eyes with Derek. He was standing beside Hayden’s bed and had probably been looking down at his friend before I came in. His expression softened, and he nodded in my direction. “Your girl is here,” he said.
Hayden turned his head toward me.
I didn’t know what I’d been expecting. Maybe I thought I’d see him wrapped in bandages with second degree burns all over his face. Maybe I thought he’d look like someone I couldn’t recognize. But he was just Hayden. His skin was a bit dark with soot and ash, but his eyes were bright. The only thing unsettling was the oxygen tube up his nose.
“Hey, Mel,” he said. His voice sounded like his whole throat was full of sand.
“Hi,” I said, clasping my hands in front of my waist.
Derek sighed. “Well. That’s my cue. I’m going to go… anywhere but here. I’ll be back in a bit, bud.” He patted Hayden’s shoulder, walked around the bed, and paused beside me. “Thanks for coming, Mel. It means a lot.” And then he left.
I licked my lips nervously.
“Do you want to sit?” Hayden asked, nodding at the vacant chair beside the bed.
I went and sat. I put my purse in my lap and rested my hands on top of it. “I’m glad you’re okay,” I finally managed to say. “At first, I thought—I thought—” I couldn’t finish the sentence, so I shook my head and looked down at my lap.
“I’m sorry I scared you.”
“Again,” I whispered. I still couldn’t look up at him. I didn’t dare.
“I know. I wish I could tell you that I shouldn’t have gone into the fire, but this time, I had to. There wasn’t any choice.”
I bit down hard on my bottom lip to stop myself from crying and nodded. “I get it. I’m not upset with you.”
“Then why are you crying?” he asked. The confusion in his voice broke my heart.
I took a deep breath and looked up at him. I stared into his deep, dark eyes and gathered my nerve. “Because I can’t do this, Hayden. I knew this was a bad idea before it even started, and I let it continue. And I’m sorry for that. But I can’t be a part of this. I can’t lose someone that I care about. Not again.”
“Mel—”
“And I can’t put Kylee through it, either.”
I watched his Adam’s apple as he swallowed.
“I’m sorry,” I said, hanging my head.
He didn’t say anything for a while. We sat in tense silence until he sighed. “It’s all right, Mel. I understand.”
I got to my feet, and his eyes followed me. I moved closer to his bed and put my hand on his shoulder. I gave him a reassuring squeeze and bent down over him to leave a soft, sweet, goodbye kiss on his lips before my tears consumed me. “Please be safe.”
He reached for me, but I moved away from the bed before he managed to caress my cheek. His hand fell to his side as I turned and left, staring at my own feet as I hurried out the doors to the ICU and down the hall to the other side of the hospital. I managed to keep it together until I got to my SUV.
I fell apart in the driver’s seat and buried my face in my hands as I cried. The devastation in his eyes matched that of what was in my heart. I hated that I’d hurt him. And I hated that I’d had to do this to him now—while he was lying in a hospital bed, needing someone to care for him.
His own damn father wouldn’t. I would have. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.
I had no clue how I would explain all of this to Kylee. She wouldn’t understand. No matter how I tried to explain it, she simply wouldn’t understand.
I wiped my tears away and tried to collect myself before driving away. But the tears came again, fierce and uncontrollable, and I sat and cried in the parking lot until there were no
more tears left.
33
Hayden
When I woke up on my second day in the hospital, I’d forgotten where I was. I’d slept so soundly that when I woke, I was sure I was back home. The room was bright like my bedroom, but there were no birds chirping. Instead, the monitor was beeping over my right shoulder, and the nurses were talking in hushed voices outside my door as they ran their change of shift meeting.
I groaned and rubbed my eyes. At least I wasn’t in the ICU anymore. They’d taken me down to normal recovery where I shared a room with another patient who spent most of his time speaking on his phone to family and friends who, by the sounds of things, lived out of town.
He was going in for open heart surgery and hadn’t told any of them.
He was on the phone again when I finally opened my eyes and looked blurrily around the room. There was someone sitting in the chair beside my bed, and at first, I thought it was Derek. But as my vision improved as I woke up more, I realized it wasn’t Derek at all.
It was my father.
“Dad?”
My father had been reading a book. He folded the page and looked up at me. “Morning, son.”
Was I dreaming? My father hadn’t called me son since I was in high school. Maybe I’d died in that fire. Maybe Mel hadn’t left me. Maybe all of this was happening in my head.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
My father swallowed. “Derek called me and told me you were here.”
“Yeah. Like he did last time. So why are you here this time?” I didn’t sound particularly friendly. In fact, I sounded quite the opposite: annoyed, angry, bitter. All I’d wanted for the last ten years was for my father to show up, and when he finally did, it didn’t make me feel the relief I thought it would bring. It felt the same. I felt empty.
Light Up The Night: A Bad Boy Firefighter Novel Page 19