Emotionally Compromised (Emotionally Compromised Series)

by Rosa, A.

  I swallow as I process my plan of action. Do I confess? I can't. "Yes, sir, I did not answer my phone."

  "That is dangerous and compromises you, and could potentially compromise your entire team."

  "Yes, sir. I am sorry. I was trying to work." I wince at hearing my words, because it's not even partially the truth. Sleeping with someone who is involved in your case is not considered working.

  I hear a stifled chuckle from Derek, and he has that evil glint in his eye. I can tell he is pissed and jealous. He is going to take no prisoners, the asshole. Is this to get back at me for that time I told the chief he slept with that girl in Dubai?

  "Excuse me," Derek says, "but that's bullshit, and I think Turner knows it. I think someone got a little careless Friday night, and let Mr. Charming Billionaire distract her."

  He turns back to me again, and is really going for it as he says, sneering at me, "Is it the money, Turner? Does it turn you on? Did he bat those big ol' blues your way, and you succumbed like every dumb girl in his file? Could you not keep your pants on for one night? Did he make ya feel good? Did he tickle your fancy? Are you all gaga because he hit you in just the right spot?"

  "You are being a jealous fuck, Derek." Without thinking, I leap across the table, seething with anger, and grab the collar on his dress shirt, yanking his head toward the surface of the conference table.

  I almost get away with it. He whips his head up before it slams into the table. I swing at him with my other hand, only one goal in mind: nail him good.

  These are the games we play. We always have.

  He takes a swing too, shoving me back. He's being an asshole and he knows it. What ever happened to being a team player, the jealous bastard? We look like either two star-crossed ex-lovers or two bickering siblings.

  Alvarado looks flustered as he shouts, "Would you two get a fucking grip? You look like fools! You don't look like some of my top agents; you look like two dumb kids in a scrap!"

  He stands up and points his calloused hand in Derek's face. "You, Agent Matthews, we both know what's eating you, and you better leave that personal shit at the door. You are also on the verge of compromising this assignment." He swivels to include both of us in his tirade. "You too, Agent Turner. Both of you need to sort your personal shit out, and stop wasting my valuable time. Follow through with using Jeremy Hunt. No questions asked. Not because you suggested it, but because I said so. We are running out of time on this." He turns to look at me alone. "Agent Turner, inform Hunt that we meet tomorrow to make him an offer. But first, meet me in my office in fifteen minutes. Quit wasting my fucking time, the both of you! This is serious fucking business."

  With that, he grabs his mug and notepad, and walks out of the conference room, slamming the door behind him.

  Derek and I let the silence hang in the air for the moment, waiting for the proverbial dust to settle. He takes in a deep breath. "I'm really sorry, Turner. That wasn't how I wanted that to go."

  "Go fuck yourself, Matthews."

  I glance sideways at him, refusing to look him in the eye. He smirks at my response. Reflexively, I want to smile too, but his overall attitude bothers me. However, this is who Derek is. He is a hothead, who says what he wants, and lashes out when he wants to. It's practically the reason we are friends. No one is safe when Agent Derek Matthews is on a rampage, especially me.

  That is what you get for sleeping with your best friend. Actually, Agent Turner, your sex life seems to be a general problem as of late. Maybe you do need to learn to keep your pants on.

  Shut up, subconscious.

  I turn away from him so I can’t see his face, but I can practically hear his eyes rolling as he says, "Well, regardless, it looks like it's going to work out for you. Alvarado's golden child at it again. Turner asks and she receives." His tone is condescending, and I can't take it anymore.

  I fake lunging at him, and he flinches. I sit back down, smirking and feeling satisfied. "Jealous much, Matthews? Is it because I'm a favorite, or is it because you still want me?"

  "Maybe it's both, but in case you forgot, I am not afraid to hit you either."

  This time my head bounces up to look at him. He exudes this sad sense of remorse.

  "Why do you say shit like that to me?" I pout.

  "Because I'm worried that I won't ever get the opportunity to again. I care about you, is that so wrong?"

  "Yes. Your way of caring is."

  "Well, I'm sorry for not being sorry!" He gets snarky again. "I'm right, aren't I? Jeremy Hunt, you have the hots for him. I mean I don't blame yo—"

  "Would you shut up, Derek? If you're a friend, support me. Don't go attacking me in front of the chief because you want what you can't have. Just be my friend. Please. I want you back as a friend, but you do nothing but make it impossible!" I get up from my seat, exasperated with the conversation. "I've got to go, Derek. I obviously have some explaining to do with Alvarado."

  As if resigned to his defeat, he slumps in his chair. Before letting me leave, he says, "Ey, Turner, do you like him?"

  I freeze for a moment with my back to him, thinking long and hard about how to respond. Then, without turning around, because I do not want to see the look in his eyes, I respond, "Yeah, I actually do." With that, I shut the door behind me, leaving him to think about it.

  He has to know I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't important to me.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Overwhelmed

  ALEX TURNER

  I take a deep breath as I walk toward Alvarado's office. I can't help but peer back behind me seeing (hoping) Derek might be trailing after me, but he isn't. He is still sitting in that room, soaking in my words. Maybe this can be a good thing. Maybe this is the only way to get him to understand. We have a tough love sort of friendship, so maybe it is a test. God dammit, I hope we can ace it, because right now, I need him. I fear the wrath of Alvarado, and Derek would be a nice support system. I need my best friend.

  As I approach the door, I notice the blinds to the chief's office are closed. Obviously, he means for this meeting to be private.

  I knock twice before entering. I amble inside and find Alvarado waiting for me with his arms folded on his desk, staring at me.

  "Hello, sir." Man, am I nervous.

  "Take a seat, Agent Turner." He waves toward the green leather chair in front of his mahogany desk.

  I take a seat and gulp down a breath, bracing for a verbal pummeling.

  "So, Turner, let's cut the shit."

  Without even thinking, I say, "Of course, sir."

  He chuckles at my response. "You look pale as a ghost. Take a deep breath. I am not going to go ballistic, but you have to know that I am upset at some of your decision making lately."

  My brows furrow. Is he talking about what I think he is?

  "I know you are seeing Jeremy Hunt."

  Oh, there you are, embarrassment! I thought I was never going to see you again.

  "Sir, I am sorry—"

  "I told you we were going to cut the shit. You better be sorry, but I might be the one being sorry."

  Confusion floods my face. "So, you're not mad?"

  With eerie calm, he says, "I am fucking pissed. You let your hormones compromise your assignment."

  "I know, sir, but—"

  "Stop. I know this past year has been rough, and I don't want to distract you with what you have done wrong. You have your LLAT exam tomorrow, don't you?"

  My eyes go wide, curious where this is going. "Yes, sir, I do."

  "I don't want to make you feel like shit about your decisions ... well, at least not until after that exam anyway."

  He has the audacity to chuckle, and oddly enough, I laugh too. Is this OK?

  "You need to buck up and get a grip. I know what is going on. I know you and Matthews are no longer dating, obviously, and I think it is better that way, but you need to get him under control. I am making that your responsibility. You two are my best team, and if you can't fix this on your own
, I don't want to have to do something drastic."

  My stomach plummets. I don't want to lose my partner.

  "Do you understand, Turner? You and Matthews need to become a team again, not a divorced couple always at each other’s throats. You two care a lot about each other, and I think that is what makes you two so great for this agency. I would hate to see all that thrown away because neither of you could keep it in your pants."

  I want to argue, but I bite my tongue. Alvarado's eyebrows rise as he waits for my nerves to calm.

  "Aside from your personal trysts, you have gone above and beyond all your physical and written exams. I hope that, coupled with your potential success with tomorrow's test, I can help you move forward here." I let a smile spread across my face. His lips twitch upward briefly, harboring a secret, but only for a fraction of second before he returns to his stern demeanor. "Take it easy, Turner. Your success here is also going to depend on how you manage your current assignment. Let's not forget why we are here, shall we? Sometimes I think you and Matthews need to be reminded from time to time that this world has more to deal with than your personal drama, do I make myself clear?"

  "Crystal, sir."

  "Good. So, tell me about Jeremy Hunt."

  The statement knocks the wind out of my lungs. "Excuse me?"

  "Tell me about Hunt. You have started a relationship with him, have you not?"

  I chew my lip, and instead of answering, I nod, embarrassed.

  "Does he know anything about us?"

  This question is a test. He knows that poor decisions or not, I am not about to compromise the assignment entirely. "No. He still thinks I am a waitress, but I did give him my real name.” My gut knots as I realize how foolish I sound.

  A deep laugh escapes his lips in mock approval. "Well, I am glad you could at least stick to one element of this assignment, Turner, but your name? Really? You’re lucky this part of the assignment forgives that error."

  The comment makes me wince. I try to stutter an apology, but he cuts me off.

  "You’re telling me he has no idea who you really are though? He thinks he is dating a waitress?"

  My face heats, and I am beginning to fathom the trouble I am in with Jeremy. "Yes, sir."

  Alvarado's demeanor shifts from mean to fatherly. "He is not going to be too happy hearing his new girlfriend has been lying to him, is he?"

  I feel nauseated. "No, sir. Actually, I fear he is going to be quite upset with me." I can't bear to look the chief in the eye anymore. I slump and turn my attention to my fiddling hands in my lap.

  "You're right, and finding out that his best friend is using his money and company to start a war isn't going to sit well with him either."

  I didn't even consider the world shift that would occur for Jeremy when he learns the truth. This is much bigger than I realized.

  "I hope that puts all this shit into perspective for you. I have an order for you, and you are not going to like it. I wish I didn't have to ask you to do this."

  I am confused again. "What are you saying, sir?"

  "Do you think Hunt, after being told the truth about what is going on with Sunscape and the company he keeps, will want to help us?"

  I ponder the question. Jeremy seems to be the type of man who would fight for the greater good, and would want to help. On the other hand, I bet he has a spiteful side too.

  I whip my head back up to look into Alvarado's waiting eyes. "Sir, I honestly don't know. I think reflexively Jeremy Hunt is good natured enough to want to be helpful and agreeable, but a part of me worries that he might lose it."

  "I agree. But we have to try. Our surveillance team came across an e-mail from Gibbs's lab for an extra shipment of some highly suspicious supplies, and I worry that we are running out of time. I want to use your relationship for this case."

  The last statement is deafening. I let silence hang in the air as I try to grasp what he said. "Sir, you—what?"

  "I want to use you and Jeremy, together, to get to Marcus Gibbs. Just like the plan before, I want you to be included in their inner circle. Go to events, attend parties, whatever it is that they all do in order to get close to Gibbs. Since it doesn’t seem connecting with Gibbs directly was working for you. Using Hunt indirectly will be more unpredictable, and overall, it could potentially make it easier to get to Gibbs. You will be able observe who Gibbs is talking to. Hunt might even have some insight on who he keeps close. Who knows what details might help us. And with Jeremy on board, Agent Matthews can gain access to the lab to get the hard evidence. I don’t want to watch this case unfold. I don’t even want that disease making it to customs. I want to stop it at the source in Gibbs's lab. Stopping this before it happens is imperative. Do you understand me?”

  I nod, finding his words are crystal.

  “I need someone in that inner circle to keep an eye on things. I need you to become friends with Marcus Gibbs, and I want you to use Jeremy Hunt as the connector."

  Oh fuck. This is bad, really bad. Gibbs is not going to want to see my face.

  "Can you manage this, Agent Turner? I know we asked you to seduce Gibbs, but maybe friends is a better angle. I don't care what it takes; you need to get this done."

  "Yes, sir. I think I can manage this." A troubling thought hits me. "What if Jeremy does not want to be cooperative ... with me, I mean?"

  He shakes his head as if I am crazy. "I think you can be quite persuasive. How about we cross that bridge when we come to it?"

  I take in a deep breath. OK, I guess. "Yes, sir."

  "Bring Hunt in tomorrow. I will brief him, and then you can tell him the details. It seems you might have more explaining to do than the rest of us. I trust you will make the right decisions from now on. I will brief Matthews, and inform Hunt Sr. He’ll need notification, being the current authorization with Sunscape. All you have to do is get Hunt here tomorrow, and we will work from there."

  I feel like my eyes are going to bug out of my head as the looming future becomes far too real for words. "Yes, sir."

  "You are dismissed, Turner."

  "Yes, sir." I climb out of my seat and head to the door.

  "And Agent Turner?"

  I turn around only slightly. "Chief?"

  "Off the record ... try not to break any hearts—or your own."

  I can't help but smile, and I almost want to say, "Thanks, Dad," seeing as I never really had one, but instead, I say, "Of course, sir." I exit his office with mixed feelings.

  Happy: because this might actually work out.

  Sad: because I fear Jeremy will run away and leave me.

  Excited: for this case, and its potential.

  Worried: about Jeremy because this case is more serious than he may realize—it's dangerous.

  Overwhelmed: I have to somehow manage my flawed relationship, save the world, and pass my LLAT exam.

  Fuck.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Physical Delegations

  ALEX TURNER

  I stumble into the sparring room. Grace is not something the federal government focused on in my training, but I have a lot on my mind.

  Earlier, I sat in the locker room for twenty minutes in a daze after receiving a text from Jeremy:

  I hope your studying is going well. I want to tell you I can't stop thinking about you, but I am worried it's too soon. ;)

  Did I really receive a wink face from Jeremy? I blush just thinking about it. Oh, man. And no, Jeremy, it is not too soon. I can't stop thinking about you either.

  I don't have the guts to send him a text back, and it pains me to know why. All I want to do is run back to his apartment to see him.

  I sigh, putting those thoughts aside, and realize I have to confront a lot of emotions about my current predicament with life, love, and work.

  Both meetings this morning went better than I could have hoped. The negative person inside me wanted Alvarado to tell me to drop the relationship, work the case, and not to get emotionally involved because it might save some
people a whole lot of heartache. Instead, he found it useful to the investigation. Why does that frustrate me?

  Isn't that what you wanted all along, Agent Turner? There is no pleasing you.

  It's weird to be happy with the situation yet be angry that I even got into it in the first place. I tried so hard to run, and Jeremy wouldn't let me. The thought makes me smile. He makes me smile. I miss him. I should call him. I want to see him. Ergh. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and focus..

  I wander up to a vacant punching bag and begin my assault. I have been craving this release since before those meetings. Maybe even since Jeremy wouldn't take no for an answer Saturday afternoon.

  I plunge my fist into the firm punching bag. Relief washes over me as I continue to pummel. This is who I am. Not that fluffy, lust-filled adolescent. This is the Agent Turner I know. Maybe there is more than toughness? I am not sure yet. I am still trying to figure that part out.

  What am I supposed to do? Continue this relationship with Jeremy? I don't want to have these doubts, I really don't, but he is going to be mad when these floodgates open and he realizes that I lied. I know it’s early to feel frantic, but I’d prefer not lose him. And now we want to use him in the case.

  When I bring him in tomorrow to explain everything, how will he react? Will he leave me? Will he even want to help? The information will be overwhelming for him; I know it. He has no idea what is coming. This ticking time bomb is killing me. I am scared that after all this, after I gave in and made myself vulnerable, that he will leave me to deal with the pain.

  "Care to let your aggression out on the person you're really mad at?" someone whispers in my ear.

  I fling myself around, and Derek's flirty eyes greet me. He is dressed in his tight work out tank and low-hanging basketball shorts.

  "Excuse me?" is the only thing I can muster.

  "Want to spar with me? Like old times? I know it's me who you'd really like to punch anyway ... though I'd like to see you try."

  "You're right, getting the chance to knock you one would be a better form of therapy."