by Forever Redd
Sleep No More
Lock Down Publications
Presents
Sleep No More
A Novel by Forever Redd
Copyright 2014 by Forever Redd Sleep No More
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in review.
First Edition September 2014
Printed in the United States of America
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Lock Down Publications
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Authoress Forever B. Redd
Cover design and layout by: Dynasty’s Cover Me Designs
Book interior design by: Shawn Walker
Edited by: Mia Rucker
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
First, I must give thanks to the big Man upstairs, because without Him, none of this would have even been possible.
My Ridaz—Davia, Raelyn, Jordan and Tiaz. I have to thank y’all once again for riding with and for me. Y’all keep the dream going, and for that, I can’t thank y’all enough. I told somebody one day, y’all ARE my team! Love ya bunches!!
Kisha—You have been more than a team player through it all and I thank you so much for remaining on the team. Those countless days and nights when I just got ghost, you remained by my side. Through text messages you kept the encouragement flowing. You even go so far as to keep my do done up! Thank ya, girl! I love ya!
Twelve—Thank you, Baby Cakes! You have been my motivation for several chapters, several scenes, in several books. Thank you for having my back and keeping me focused. I appreciate you more than you could ever imagine. Thanks!
Vencer “JR”—Thank you, thank you, thank you!! My first shipment of books was sent to the A, and I owe that to you. Gon’ put ya girl on the map! Last book, I said you were the man to see in Hotlanta for that cut. Well, I am saying it again…Check him out, and buy a book while ya there!
Mary—Please don’t lose sight of me yet, I’m coming! Thank you so much for the support and encouragement.
Jordan Abney—I’m not famous yet, but please continue to tell folk that and together we can speak it into existence. Love ya, girl!
Tranay Adams—The Tranay Adams! Baby Bruddah, I’m singling you out on this one. Man, you have been amazing. I appreciate all the conversations, the laughs, and the corrective action. Thanks so much. You my go to man!! #TDWT #LDP
Nook Donalds—Where would I be without you? No more needs to be said, or does it?
My family—I’m not going to name names, or single anyone out this time, but I thank all y’all as a whole. We all know what y’all have done for me as I travel on this road, and it’s greatly appreciated. Love y’all!
Lockdown Publications and Ca$h—I know I am not the easiest to deal with, but thank you so much for your patience, guidance and the abundance of ink y’all supply my pen. Saying that y’all have been a dream come true (for me) would be an understatement. The entire Lockdown family will forever have my heart. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to write beside such a group of ferocious authors. Thank you!
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to every single person that has taken the time out to purchase, follow, or support me on my literary journey. Thanks isn’t enough, so I dedicate this book to all of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
~ForeverRedd
September 21, 2013 was technically the day I started my new life with the man of my dreams. However, that’s also the day I died. Granted, there was no eulogy or casket, but I died within myself. My heart continued to beat and my lungs functioned as normal, but my soul died. I was left with nothing more than the shell of an existence. It’s funny, we never realize that everything that’s good to us isn’t always good for us, until the unthinkable happens—cavities, diabetes, lung cancer—we never know until the diagnosis. Have you any idea what it’s like to lay with the enemy or break bread with your own murderer? Any idea what it’s like to have the sun rise and set on somebody else’s ass? Maybe you are familiar with what it’s like to drink from the cup that’s laced with the poison of your own demise. Have you ever really fed on hatred, or even choked on deceit? Perhaps you have, but most deny the fact that they, too, have consumed this very meal. This is how it unfolded in my life and I am going tell you exactly how that poison tastes and how deception feeds the hunger of a starving heart.
~Victoria
1
Jody
Having that sit down chat with my old man cleared my conscience, but it did little for my heart. I replayed my father’s words as I traveled down the road to see an old friend. I knew I should have been home with my wife, considering she had been blowing me up for the last two hours. I just didn’t wanna hear none of her shit. Not today, not right now. Right now, my mind was on something more important. Me. I was tired of trying to conform to what Victoria wanted and what Victoria needed. What about me? I had shit to deal with too, and I ain’t see nobody bending over backwards to appease me. Fuck ‘em!
I rode out to Georgetown where I normally go to clear my thoughts. My granddaddy owned some land out there and that is the resting spot for all my demons. When I go out there, my heart is heavy, but when I come back, I’m empty. My mind is clear and my conscience is clearer.
I drove slowly down the dirt road, maneuvering my vehicle to avoid any mud holes along the way. The road had never been paved and it was more of a trail than anything else. Any traces of grass had been plowed down by the vehicles that had passed through. I traveled the long winding dirt path until I reached the shed located far back in the wooded area, then parked her truck. I sat for a few minutes, inhaling the fresh air and enjoying the crisp country breeze. There wasn’t much scenery to take in, considering I was in the middle of nowhere, just me and my thoughts. I was already amongst the trees and, of course, I had the ones I brought from home. All I needed was a little bit of peace and some tranquility.
I decided to get out of the truck and walk around. With a blunt blazed and flashlight in hand, I walked and listened to the crunch of the dead leaves underneath my feet. Local koon hunters were out running their dogs and could be heard in the distance. I could hear the faint sounds of barking and howling dogs, as well as tiny animals scurrying about as their habitat had become invaded. That didn’t deter me, I was in my element. I am a country boy at heart, so I headed deeper into the wilderness despite nature’s ongoing conversation.
I walked and I thought. I thought of the day I had first heard her voice and how I knew from that alone, Victoria would be my wife. I thought of her smile, the way it would light up any room, and the way she snored slightly when she slept. I thought of the day Leon told me not to hurt her and I knew in my heart, I would never intentionally do such, but I was at a crossroad. On one hand, I wanted to be the husband and father that would have made my mama proud, but on the other, I was still in my young boy days. I was living life and having a good time.
As I traveled, my mind led me to another secret. A secret that I had held for so long, I would probably die if it ever came out. No one, not even Leon, knew of my sordid secret. What could I do? The only thing that I could think to do was make that call. I pulled out my iPhone, and glanced at the time.
“3:03,” I said al
oud. “That gives me some time,” I said to myself, then dialed the one number that had been etched in my memory.
“Hello,” the sleepy voice answered on the other end. I smiled at the thought of her resting in her typical boy shorts and wife beater before I responded.
“Aye, sorry, I know it’s late, early, whatever, but uuhh look, I need you. I ain’t tryna fuck, I just need you to talk to, hold me. Please, Bae, say you got me?”
“Where?” was all she said.
“My house, but I am not there yet.”
“How long will it take you to get there?” Sleepy voice asked into the receiver, while lifting her body from the memory foam mattress.
“I’m out in the woods, so it will be bout a good hour before I get on that side of town.”
Sleepy voice was already moving around the room, gathering the things needed for some alone time with her boo. “That’s fine. I’ma go jump in the shower and throw on something. So by the time you get there, I should be right behind you. Is that cool with you?”
“Yea, that’s what it is. I’ll call you when I’m close by so you can be on yo way. Later, Bae.”
I ended the call and started back for the truck. There wasn’t even a second thought about the family and the woman I was fucking over, as long as I got my happiness, fuck the world and everybody in it. I lived my life as though I was single behind closed doors, but I conducted myself as a married man, when the doors were open for all to see. I developed the “a man is gone do what a man is gone do” mentality a long time ago. Hell, if people accepted that excuse, I could live by it.
As soon as I made it into the city limits, I gave her a call. “Be there in fifteen,” I said and released the line.
Just as I turned on the signal light, I saw headlights coming from behind. Right on time, I thought and completed the turn into our driveway. I got out and walked to the rear of the truck and waited for my support system to park. She killed the ignition and got out of the car. Her voluptuous frame seemed to glide across the driveway and it appeared as though she was floating. The few seconds it took for her to reach me felt like an eternity, and that final step was into Heaven. She buried her face into my chest and inhaled. The scent of my Gucci cologne tickled her nostrils and my loving arms shielded her from the bowels of her reality. We both knew we could never be, because what would the world think? To bring us to the open would damage more lives than we both cared to admit. Every moment we spent together, she kissed me as though it would be the last time and would fuck me like I paid top dollar for the pussy. My sexy lady broke the embrace, wiped at the tears that had begun to fall down her cheeks, and took my hand. Together we walked into the house.
She sat on the sofa in silence while I went to roll up a blunt in the kitchen.
“Aye, you want sumn to drank, or you good?”
“I’m good.”
She had grabbed the remote from the coffee table and begun to flip through track after track on the CD player. She wasn’t too pleased with the song selection being played so she fumbled around skipping each track, but was unable to find something that pleased her ear. I returned to the living room with a beer in one hand and a blunt in the other. I removed one of the throw pillows and sat behind her sexy ass, placing my beer on the coffee table and an ashtray on the floor next to me.
She snuggled deeper into my arms and broke the silence.
“You know we can’t continue to do this, right? You know just like I know, we wrong. You not gonna leave her, so what the fuck, Jody?”
I could detect a slight attitude in her voice, but was there really a reason? No, there was none. We both went into this knowing there would be nothing more than a friend with benefits type relationship. Hell, that’s what was agreed upon. I felt like most women confused good dick with actual feelings. A lot of times women assume that if a dude is putting it down in the bedroom, it’s more than just a piece. I didn’t know and really didn’t care, but I did know what we discussed prior to this jumping off. The only thing about it was I loved the way she made me feel. Our bodies melted together. Our rhythm was so harmonious. The sound of our lovemaking could have been a best seller. She was damn near perfect in my eyes. Everything about her touched me like no other. This chick, this one was different on so many different levels and I didn’t know if I could live my life without her.
“I know we can’t continue with this and I apologize that I even dragged you into my shit. Either way, you know if you need me, I am gone always be around, ok Bae?”
She closed her eyes and silently cried. It was if she knew this was the entire point of the visit, but she looked as if she wanted me to beg her to stay.
“One question, Jody, please.” She turned her tear streaked face toward me, “Why did you not tell her about us?”
I had thought on that very question for a long time and the answer was quite simple. I just didn’t know how Victoria would take it. Will it piss her off and give her the green light to run her mouth to the world, or would she just take it in stride and move on? I placed my boo’s face in my hands and answered as honestly as possible. “I love her and you know dat, but I would much rather she live wit a lie than die from the truth. It would kill her, and dat I can’t do, bae.”
She nodded her head slowly.
“One last time, make love to me, just one last time Jody.”
Stuck between a rock and the hardest place I had ever been, having to choose between the woman I married and the woman that seemed to have a piece of my soul. SHE was the side piece my father had spoken of so many years ago and I wanted to take care of her forever. In making an honest attempt to right the wrongs that I had already created, I politely declined.
“Bae, me and you both know if we put that last time on this shit, it won’t be the last time. We gon’ fuck like it’s the last time and it’s gon’ be so good we gon’ try and recreate it any chance we get. I’m not gon’ run that risk, bae. We say dis shit over, let’s let it be over.” Crazy thing was, I was speaking from my big head, but I knew the little one had an alternate agenda.
I knew that that was only right, and having put my wife through what I had already put her through…my heart wouldn’t allow it. This chick had my head and left my heart for my wife. I loved her with my mental, but I loved my wife from my heart and it was beginning to appear that my mental was going to win this love battle.
For the first time, I was really going to try and clean my act up. I made up in my mind that I would put all the dumb shit down and do right by my wife and my children. It didn’t change the fact that I was fuckin’ pissed. The one person, outside of my mama, I had a connection with was being forced out of my life.
“Aye, I’ma talk to ya later, iight?” I asked, pushing her up from her resting position on the couch.
“Wow! Fine, have it your way.” She hopped up from the couch and headed straight out the door.
Sitting alone in the dimly lit room, I cried to myself.
“Damn, I miss you, Mama. I’m fucked up over you being gone. I tried, Mama. I swear to God, I tried. I just don’t know how to take care of Vic. I feel like I’m not all there. I run through all these women and it’s like I’m not even married. I know she deserves so much more Mama, but I just can’t let her go. Now this shit. What am I going to do? Please help me, Mama, send me a sign, something, guide me please. Steer me in the right direction, help me make this thing right. I wanna be a better man for my family. I wanna be a better man period. I know you and Daddy had struggles, and I know y’all had yo share of shit, but y’all made it work. It’s so easy to just walk away, but this I wanna stand up and fight for. Help me, Mama.” I silently talked to the one person that I knew would always listen, always have my back, and love me unconditionally. My mama. I was tired, I was weak, and I was pitiful. I stretched out on the couch that I had previously shared with my boo, allowing the fluffy pillows to hold me while the sweet scent of my woman floated through my nostrils.
************
Victo
ria
I had been in this hotel for the last two days. I was upset, lonely, and miserable. After Jody hit me, things got worse. It seemed almost like he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. He didn’t always lay hands, but he would do little painful shit as my form of punishment for whatever I had done to make him angry. I thought back on the time before the last and was just plain disgusted.
“I know good and damn well you ain’t give me no uncooked rice?” Jody yelled.
“I…I…I’m sorry, baby, I was trying to hurry and get dinner finished before you…”
“Before I what, huh?” Jody asked, getting real close to my face. “Huh, before I what?”
“Before you got…Aaaarrrgghhhhh,” I screamed, as Jody stuck his fork into my thigh.
“I didn’t hear you, before I what?” Jody asked, applying more pressure to the fork in my leg.
“Before you got home. I am sorry. It won’t happen again. P-p-please move the fork,” I sniffled.
“Oh, I know it won’t happen again. No worries, baby girl, no worries.”
Jody got down on his knees, lifted my night shirt, and licked the four droplets of blood that had begun to seep through my skin. I was terrified. Jody had truly lost his mind. But before that thought was completed, my first contraction hit so hard that I peed in the bed.
“Oh shit! Oh shit!” I screamed, rubbing the side of my tummy.
I’d gotten up to clean myself when I began to feel sick. I waddled as fast as I could to the bathroom and released my dinner. 2:48AM, first contraction, I made a mental note so that I could time these things.
3:17AM, the second contraction, and this one came with a round of diarrhea. Whoever said they had an easy labor had to have been out of their minds, because for me, it was looking like it would be far from easy. Where the fuck was Jody? He could be hurt was the first thought in my mind, but then all the other times he didn’t make it home ‘til the wee hours of the morning replaced those thoughts.