Sleep No More (Sleeping In Heaven, Waking In Hell Book 2)

by Forever Redd

  With each sinful kiss to her body parts, a small piece of them both exited their bodies. Being married with children couldn’t even extinguish the lustful flames that burned inside that hotel room.

  “Say you want it,” I whispered to the lady before me.

  Silence.

  She tried to pull me into her, she wanted me inside her. She wanted to connect with me on a level that should be forbidden outside of a marriage. I knew this because I felt it too. I wanted to feel the thickness in her thighs wrapped around my waist. I wanted to feel her clawing at my back, but I needed her to say it. I needed her to tell me she wanted it. For years, I carried the burden of feeling unwanted, and with every sexual conquest, I needed to hear it.

  I fought hard to resist the urge to plunge into the abyss of her wetness and instead, I placed a small kiss on her forehead. “Lemme hear you say it. Let me make you cum on Daddy’s dick. Say you want it.”

  Silence. She didn’t say a word. She laid there in the wet spot she had created and contemplated what her next move should have been. Her look was just like the one I held in my eyes. Like the mental battle I was having with myself, she was having one as well. She knew I was married, with kids, and she also knew the odds of a love connection were slim to none. She stayed silent.

  I used my knee to separate her not so closed legs, and lowered my mouth to her pussy. I kissed her lips slow and tender, in the beginning, then added the tip of my tongue. Her legs stiffened. I waited a second for her to relax, then I started lapping at the cat. Her back arched. I opened her dripping pussy lips and whispered, “Say…You…Want…It.” My warm breath tickled her hardened clit and every so often, my lips would brush against hers. The crossroad she once sat, pointed in one direction. Her choice was made. The morals we once shared were a thing of the past, she said it.

  “I want it.”

  I removed my face from her swollen cat and brought it directly to hers. Forehead to forehead eye to eye, “I know you do.”

  I eased my dick inside her, slow and cautious. “You ok,” I questioned, as I took my time with her.

  She nodded her head and encouraged me to continue.

  I moved with perfection, every stroke precise and measured. I could not just fuck, but I couldn’t love her either. This pussy had to be handled just right. Genuine touches, tender kisses, moderate strokes. Definitely the way one would handle pregnant pussy.

  ************

  Leon

  I paced the floor of the apartment me and Karley pretty much shared. We agreed not to cohabitate until we were married, be it to each other or somebody else. I thought about her going through the motions due to her parents death and her pregnancy, but what I couldn’t figure out was why her distance towards me. The argument we had the other day was being blown out of proportion and she had to know it. The silent treatment had gone too far, not to mention, it was childish and petty. She was so argumentative.

  “I wonder who the baby gone look like?”

  “Come again?”

  “Who do you think the baby is gonna look like?”

  Karley snapped. “What the fuck you mean who the baby gone look like, Leon? Let me see, there are two obvious choices I could think of. You and me.”

  I was having a “Proud Papa” moment and didn’t think anything of it. Maybe I could have worded it differently, but I still couldn’t see the point of her blowing up the way she did. That statement held no ill intent and who didn’t want to know who their child would look like.

  With this shit with Karley and her depression, I could only think of my mother. Would the same thing happen to Karley? Would she just end up a nut case, since she can’t let her parents rest? I decided, under no circumstances would I abandon home, or my seed. I was gon’ help my lady through this bullshit and get her back on track.

  I tried calling Karley again to see if we could grab a bite to eat and talk about our future. What she didn’t know was the day after she told me she was pregnant, I visited Kay Jewelers and purchased her an engagement ring. We had been lovers and friends for quite some time and I wanted to make it official by taking her hand in matrimony. Karley had been skeptical about marriage, but the baby seemed to be the perfect glue to hold us together. After several rings, my call went unanswered, yet again, but this time I left a message.

  “Aye Baby, it’s me. Just checking in on ya. I know you don’t wanna hear from me right now, but I made a mistake and I’m sorry. Hit me back when you get dis message,” and with that, he ended the call. I attempted to rest, but the trust monster reared its ugly head and overtook me. My mind started racing with the “what-ifs” and the “maybe’s” so much that I got up from my resting spot and grabbed my keys.

  My first stop, Karley’s house. Her car wasn’t there, clear indication that she wasn’t either, but I sat in the driveway for a few minutes, just in case she was coming right back. Two cigarettes later, I left. I wasn’t about to chase her, especially if she didn’t want to be caught. I honestly loved Karley and wanted us to be together forever. But as a man, I had needs too. I needed her to be my strength, my ambition, my rock, but she wasn’t doing any of that. I was frustrated sexually and emotionally drained, but we went our separate ways. I wouldn’t be the reason my family wasn’t intact.

  I dropped by the gas station and picked up a few things for the night. I was going home to chill, alone. I made it home and changed into a pair of gym shorts and left on my wife beater. I took a seat on the couch and propped my feet up on the coffee table, rolled a blunt, and watched ESPN. Game scores flashed across the bottom of the screen and the Sports Commentators went on and on about some game and its star players. I drank and smoked until all of the wording at the bottom of the screen ran together and the male voices sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Shortly thereafter, I dozed off.

  “You know, when I first met you, I knew we was gon’ have sumn. Now, I ain’t know what it was gone be but there was sumn there from the beginning,” I dreamed of my past with Karley.

  “Yea, I just bet you did. After you showed your ass on the spades table, anything I thought went right out the window, with your crazy ass.”

  “Well, I’m sorry ‘bout that, but that shit had me heated. We was finally ‘bout to bust y’all asses, my adrenaline was rushing, man. You forgive me…please?” I begged.

  Karley giggled like a little school girl. She had already known I could get it, but what she didn’t know was what position I would be assigned just yet.

  “We will see about that apology later, but right now…if you wanna get in my good graces, put on some clothes and come up to the Met. We could go grab a bite to eat, maybe a few drinks.”

  “That’s what’s up, where you stay at?”

  “Nah, Nigga, I’on believe in fairy tale endings. You might be the one I need rescuing from. You not coming to my house. We can meet somewhere on the riva and go from there.”

  We finally decided on a place to eat and have a few drinks. I found out we had a lot of similarities and very few differences. Karley was a risk taker. She wasn’t afraid of anything; she wanted to go bungee jumping, scuba diving, and even hang gliding. I was simple, country life and nothing more than front porch shit shooting and backyard barbecues. I liked that there was more to the curly haired cutie than met the eye. Even though I had no desire whatsoever to do any of those things Karley liked, if given the opportunity, I would see to it that she did all that and more.

  The vibration from my phone caused me to stir from my slumber, as it bounced around on the small glass table. “Yo,” I answered, wiping the drool from the corner of my mouth.

  “Damn, bruh, you sleep this early?” Jody asked from the opposite end.

  I rubbed my eyes and caught a glimpse of the time on the cable box, One thirty, why is this nigga calling me this time of night? And where is Victoria? He can talk to her.

  “Naw, bruh, I ain’t sleep, chilling, watching ESPN and shit, where you at?”

  “Shit my nigga, I’m in the co
untry chillin’ and shit, but that’s between me and you.”

  “I hear dat hot shit. What up doe, errythang cool wit my lil sis and the kids? I been meanin’ to check in, but things have been crazy, ya know, wit business and shit.” I was trying to get to the root of the call, especially since I hadn’t heard from his ass in a minute.

  “Errythang gravy baby. I was just hittin’ you up since we ain’t talked and shit.”

  I knew Jody like the back of my hand and I knew that was some bullshit. “Aye, hold on cuzzo, my line beepin.” I didn’t wait for a response, just hit the answer button and thought, fuck him wit his trifling ass.

  “Hey,” was all I received when I answered the call. I was so happy to hear my baby’s voice; I honestly forgot Jody was even on the other line.

  “How you doin’, babygirl?”

  ************

  Karley

  I was extremely happy that I didn’t have to go through all the explanations about my whereabouts. I needed space. I needed me time. Those times when I was off to myself, it felt like nothing and no one else mattered. I could finally exhale. These outings were a little more frequent, and although I was using this time to find myself, I think I was losing myself too. This trip was different. The last time I disappeared, he asked fifty questions and didn’t want to let the shit rest. I was safe and he wasn’t tripping, that was all that mattered to me.

  Leon was cool, no questions, just regular conversation. We carried on like we had spoken to each other a few minutes prior and not the few days that it had really been. He asked questions about our unborn child and was even kind enough to ask about my day.

  “I’m good, how are you?”

  “I’m good, long as y’all good. How was your day?”

  “The usual, a little window shopping here and there, just relaxing, ya know?”

  “Of course I know. Hey, what ya say about breakfast tomorrow? I mean if you feeling up to it.”

  “I think I can make that happen,” I said with a chuckle.

  We got off the phone after a few more minutes of pleasant conversation and an agreement to meet for breakfast the next morning. I was tired and my body was a little achy, so I took a warm bath and prepared for the night.

  I entered Leon’s home with my spare key just as my stomach began to rumble. I could smell the aroma of home cooking all the way out to the street. “Leon,” I called out.

  “I’m in the room, Babe.” He had just picked up the blunt he started smoking last night and put it to his lips.

  “No, no, noooo you don’t,” I stated with my hands on my hips. “I could have sworn, we agreed, if I can’t smoke, you can’t smoke.”

  “We did, Baby, and I held to that the entire time, but you wasn’t talking to me. I was lonely, I ain’t had shit to do. You mad?” Leon asked poking out his bottom lip.

  “Aaawww, look at that lip. How can I be mad at that?” I asked, squeezing Leon’s cheeks together.

  “Thank ya, Baby, but since you back home, I won’t be smoking. Now, let’s go eat!”

  Breakfast was great. We laughed and talked just like old times. As I stared into Leon’s eyes, I realized everything I had been missing was staring me in the face. In Leon, I found everything my mother wasn’t there to give. Leon loved me and I could see it. I had a choice to make. Continue through life alone, or let this man love me. The answer came quick, lay my burdens down and be happy with my man and child. I knew good men were indeed hard to find, they were blessings and I had really been blessed.

  Once our bellies were full and the kitchen cleaned, I was ready to sleep that meal off. I removed my clothes, crawled in the bed, and grabbed the remote. I quickly turned the TV to Lifetime Movie Network and put the remote underneath my pillow. Leon stepped out of the bathroom in his Calvin Klein boxer briefs and climbed in bed. As soon as he saw the LMN in the corner of the screen, he started his mouth.

  “You know I ain’t watchin’ this lady bullshit,” Leon said.

  “I can’t find the remote. I just turned it on, and this is where it was. I swear.”

  “You ain’t shit, Karley. You know good and damn well I ain’t been watchin’ this, and I know your lazy ass ain’t turn the TV on by hand. But you know what, I am willing to compromise. You watch your girly shit, and I’ma watch sumn else.”

  “What you gone watch?” I asked through questionable eyes.

  “Come here, lemme show you.” Leon wrapped his arms around me and watched me as I watched my movie. He was in Heaven and clearly, he wasn’t alone. I decided to come along for the ride. Just as we had settled comfortably and were drifting off, it happened. For the very first time, we felt the life we had created. The moment was so surreal to us both; it felt as though our baby was giving us its seal of approval. Everything was going to be ok. No words were shared between us. I placed my hand on top of his and nestled deeper into his body, and there we slept. Man, woman and child.

  12

  Victoria

  I hadn’t talked to Jody in weeks. I couldn’t help but wonder if Teez ran his mouth and Jody was in his feelings. I called.

  “What up,” Jody answered the phone like he was talking to one of his homeboys.

  “Well, hello to you too. You remember us don’t you? The chick that you married? The one that stood by your side through all your bullshit? The chick that mothered your children, her?”

  “Yea, I know you, the kids ok?”

  “The kids are fine. Had I not have called, would you have?” I asked.

  “Here you go with this bullshit. Does it matter who calls who as long as a call is made? What, you need some attention? Who did it Victoria? Do you need a break from the children that you chose to have, love, and protect for the next eighteen years? Oh wait, I got it…no you don’t look fat. You look great and your hair is on point, too.” Jody’s voice was practically ringing in my ears, I could no longer listen. I clicked end, just as easy as I had pressed talk.

  As much as I wanted to sit around and pout, I knew it would do no good, so I decided I would pay Ms. Ethel a visit. I needed some sound advice from the wiser. She didn’t know the things going on with Jody and me, at least I hadn’t told her, but she seemed to just know stuff. I gave her a quick call to let her know we would be dropping by.

  Ms. Ethel looked to be limping a little bit and the bright light that once shone in her eyes appeared to be dimming. “How you doin’, Ms. Ethel? Is everything alright?” I asked full of concern.

  “Everything is fine Baby, just a little tied, just a lil tied that’s all. Now let Nana Ethel hol’ one of dem youngins.”

  I passed Serenity over to her anticipating arms. Ms. Ethel loved her so much. She tried not to show it, but I could always see a bit of favoritism. She took Serenity and held her close to her large bosom and gently rocked her back and forth, humming some hymn.

  “Well, whatcha lookin’ all sad for? You came to see Ms. Ethel for a reason, so let’s hear it.” I loved Ms. Ethel so much. She could see through all my bullshit, and she always had a solution.

  “Now you know you need a beatin’. I come visit, I call, don’t do me like that Ms. Ethel.” I chuckled as I playfully scolded. “You got something to drink?”

  “It’s some tea in the ice box, or do I need to crack open my bottle of that Royal Crown?”

  “Uuum, Royal Crown is grease, Ms. Ethel. Crown Royal is the liquor,” I replied, before I laughed heartily at her mix up.

  “Well, just gon’ get yo tea, since you wanna be correctin’ people and stuff. I will keep my bottle of spruce juice for another occasion. Ya know, I was tryna be nice. I know you young folk be drownin’ ya sorrows in a bottle. Make ya feel betta, but what ya need to be doin’ is drownin ya sorrows in prayer. Gon’ get ya drank and come back and Ms. Ethel gone pray wit’cha and pray fo ya, cuz I’ma tell ya the truth. It might not be what ya wanna hear, but it’s gone be what ya need to hear. Gon’ now.”

  I went into the kitchen with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Ms. Ethel had
never been so forward. She had always told it like it was, but this had something to it. She was about to take me where I didn’t wanna go, she knew something. I filled my glass and I returned with a fake smile on my face. Both the babies were sound asleep and resting in their pack-n-play. I took the seat nearest Ms. Ethel so that I could face her when she spoke. I wanted to see the wisdom in her eyes and absorb the experience in her words.

  “Gimme ya hands,” Ms. Ethel told me while reaching out to me. “Bow ya head and shut ya eyes. Let go, and let God, Chile. Dear Lawd, our Heavenly Father, I come to you as humble as I know how, Jesus. Lawd, Victoria needs you rat now, come into her life Lawd, give her strength where she is weak, give her breath when she cannot breathe. Show her the way, for you are the way, the truth and the light. Give her courage, Lawd. Give her peace. Bless her and these chil’ren, Lawd. Keep them close and nestled in ya bosom. Hold on to her, Lawd. Don’t let her stray, she needs you. She needs you rat now. These and many other blessin’s we ask in ya son Jesus name, Amen.”

  I dried my eyes and stared at the picture of Ms. Ethel and her late spouse that had hung above the fireplace. There was complete silence. Ms. Ethel was waiting, she wanted me to speak. She wanted to say something that would damage the last bit of sanity I was so desperately holding on to. I broke. I had to tell someone of the Hell I was living.

  “Ms. Ethel, I love my husband so much. I try to do right by him. I try to be a good mother. I try to meet his demands. I swear to you, Ms. Ethel, I try. It seems like the minute I turn around, there is something going on with Jody. I had a bit, excuse me I’m sorry,” I said trying to mask me not calling the girl a bitch. “I had a female come to the hospital after I had the babies. The night you kept the kids and I went out with my old classmates, they told me of another girl he was messing around with. Then to top it all off, on my honeymoon, I saw a text from someone letting him know that she was pregnant and the fool even told her to keep it. I still stayed. I accepted his dirt and prayed for better days. He even hit me. See what I mean when I say I tried, Ms. Ethel?”