by Forever Redd
“So, what are we going to do to fix it? Are we gon’ just go our separate ways? Get a divorce?”
“Stop right there. We ain’t getting no divorce, and don’t ever speak of that shit, Vic, for real. Once divorce is brought up, the seed been planted and all it needs is nurturing to grow. Hell naw, I’m not down for that shit. My daddy cheated on Mama, and she stayed. She stood by her man, cause she knew wasn’t nobody gon’ take her seat at the head table. These hoes out here, they just that, hoes. They ain’t good for nuttin but a face shot. They out here to do the shit that I got too much respect for my wife to ask her to do. That shit with Rosita, yea Ma, I was wrong, and I ain’t mean for it to go that far, but it did and I squashed the shit. I’ono what else you may have been told by any of the hoodrats at the nail salon, or wherever you be going, but my shit is airtight this time, Baby. We gone work through this shit, and I am going to make it right. If this is my last chance, so be that, but at least give me that. Can you do that for me, Ma?”
I knew how much she loved me and I would always take advantage of that. Against her better judgment, she forgave me and agreed to the one last try.
“Yes, I can do that, one last time Jody, and I am not playing. You will not sit here married to me and just be laying round with anybody. This our life you are playing with. Hell, take me out the equation, I’m gone, and you run up in the local hoodrats, as you like to call them, and now you got some shit you can’t get rid of. That’s your life Jody. Or on the other hand, same scenario, but you bring that shit home to me. For real, get your shit together, or lose your family.”
“I got you, Mama, and een if you ain’t got the strength to hold me down, I can’t fault nobody but myself. Know this though, no matter what, I will forever take care of them kids, ya dig? As long as there is breath in my body, another man will not raise mine.”
“Very responsible of you Jody, now when will you be home?”
“I’ma touch down in ten days. I know Ms. Kitty missing her daddy. Squeeze them legs together, Ma. Daddy gon’ be home soon. Aye, I love you aight? We gone get past this.”
“Love you too.”
You see how difficult that shit was nigga? That bullshit took way too much energy, you coulda just told her the truth.
“What the fuck are you talkin bout? Too much energy, tell the truth.”
I had to sit and endure that bullshit. We sleep and here she come wit her aggravating ass. Jody this and Jody that. Who got time for that shit? What we need is a real bitch. A real and sexy bitch. Yooouuu know who I’m talkin’ bout! Yoooouuu know!
“I…will…not…do this shit no more. I am not going back through this with you. All I have to do is take my meds and you are history. I want my old life back, I want my old life back!”
Bravo, dumb ass, you not Dorothy and this ain’t Kansas. Look around you, Boss. You know whea YOU done took ME? Since you runnin’ shit wit yo panzy ass.
I took note of my surroundings, and it wasn’t a good look. I was sprawled out on a dirty mattress, lots of bottles and cigar guts were scattered about. The stench in the house was a cross between dirty diapers and vomit. I jumped off the floor, shook my hair out and checked my clothes. I was fully dressed, so I tapped my pockets for my keys, grabbed my phone and got the fuck outta there. I had to look around to figure out where I had drifted and the area was all too familiar. I was in Sandy Run. I called Teez.
“Yo,” Teez answered.
“Fuck you mean yo? I’m out here in Sandy Run open, nigga, anybody coulda came up in that house and…”
“Pump ya brakes, Big Jody. Ya ass was straight wildin’ last night. Yo Nigga, you was so far gone and showin’ ya ass, we called Leon down here and shit.”
“Damn man, what happened? I don’t remember shit. I swear to God, I don’t remember.”
“Bruh, you and lil man was talkin’ noise back and forth, it won’t nuttin too serious bout it, but yooo, you poured a bottle of vodka on cuz.”
“Nooo man.”
“Aye, that ain’t een the half. After you did that shit, you set that boy shirt on fiya, then tried to piss on him to out that shit. Man, you was outta control. Ya ass was over here tryna break up shit in the crib, talkin’ bout you can’t take me. It was like you was possessed or some shit, Cuz.”
“What the fuck man?”
“Aye, that’s what we was sayin’. I called Leon like come get yo boy. Dis nigga had to get up from his ol’ lady to come down here on yo ass.”
“What he say, man? Damn.”
“Just come on to the crib. He stayed, Dog.”
I got my bearings and made my way to the spot. This shit was unbelievable. What was I doing? What was I thinking? I was ‘bout to catch a serious charge behind some bullshit. I was out here sleeping anywhere and I got a bed at home. This wasn’t where I was supposed to be in life. I had to take that medication. The shit I got into when I wasn’t on it was not worth the risk of my freedom. I opened the glove box and took out the small brown bottle. With no hesitation, I popped a pill in my mouth and swallowed.
Jody, you do know that pill isn’t gon’ just make me up and leave, right? Maybe you blocked out the moment after you burned up those puppies. Let me remind you, Mama said, “Boy, what have you done? Why would you do something so horrible Jody?”
“It wasn’t me Mama, I promise.”
“Jody, they caught you, Baby. They seen you on them cameras.”
“It wasn’t me,” you cried.
“Then who was it, Baby? Tell Mama what you talkin’ bout son.”
“It was Major. He comes around every time I get in trouble. He says it’s fun Mama.”
“Jody, listen to me and listen to me good. You must remember what is real and what’s fake. If you can’t see him, he isn’t real. You know right from wrong, Jody. Do what’s right Baby and don’t ever listen to that voice, ever again. And whatever you do, Son, don’t talk back.”
See Jody, there is only one way to get me gone.
“What’s that?” I asked.
Oh, that ship done sailed, Homie. You did exactly what Mama told you NOT to do. You talked back.
I wasn’t about to listen to that shit. I was going to my boy’s house, lay low, and get my mind right. I lowered my window, turned my radio up, and let the cool breeze ride with me to Teez’s house. I knew with Leon there and all in his feelings, this wasn’t gon’ be a good conversation, but I knew things had to be said. Shit, there were a lot of things I wanted to say to him, but I was gon’ hold that conversation for when he cooled off a bit.
************
I walked into the trailer and all eyes were on me.
“What? This an intervention or sumn?” I joked, but no one seemed amused.
“Don’t start that shit, Jody. We need to talk and we need to talk right now. Don’t say shit, just come on,” Leon said.
I followed my childhood friend out of the small wooden door that led to woods and a railroad track.
“Remember when we used to come back here and hide?” Leon asked.
“Fo sho! Remember when we laid out on the tracks hidin’ from Pops when we was gon’ get that beatin’?”
“Hell yea, I remember. Pops was gon’ wear us out that day. You know what the difference is between now and then, Jody?”
“What,” I asked.
“We were kids. We ain’t have a care in the world. We played from sun up to sun down. Football, kickball, basketball. You name it, we played it. We laid out here on these very tracks at night, no fear of death, no thoughts of a future. But now, now we ain’t kids no mo, Jody. These games you playin’, stop it. This double life you livin’, stop it! You got a wife and kids, man. How you just gone fuck over, not only you, but them too? You coulda killed that boy wit yo shenanigans. You ever stop to think about that, huh? No, you didn’t because you were soooo busy tryna be something that you are not. When was the last time you took yo medication, Jody?”
“I got it right here. I got a plan too, Leon. I’ma take my meds
and chill here, right, so they can get back in my system good. I’ma clean myself up and go back and get my job, and you know what the best part is?”
“What is the best part,” Leon asked.
“The best part is I got ten days to get it together. Vic don’t expect me back for another two weeks. I’ma be right when I go home, watch. Oooh, you know what? Look at this.”
I removed the cap from the medicine bottle and popped another pill for god measure. I mean, it couldn’t hurt. The sooner I got that show on the road, the better. I swallowed the bitter pill and opened my mouth for Leon to see.
“Tongue up.”
I lifted my tongue so Leon could see that I had, in fact, taken the pill.
“Jody, on some real shit, get ya shit together and do what you supposed to do. Ain’t nobody tryna clown you, I’m comin’ to you man to man. I know about your past, the voices and all the other bullshit, but you gotta know when to stop. Keep this dumb shit goin’ and I will out be there to bail you out. I will not being doing shit for yo wife that you should be doing, and do not, do not think for one second I won’t fuck you up myself if you can’t get it together. You have completely crossed the line. Clean it up, Jody, cause I swear on everything I love, you don’t want me to do it for ya.”
“You good, we good. Everything gone be good. Let’s go back inside. While y’all niggas choppin’ it up, I’ma be sleepin’ it up. I’m comin’ back Leon, I’m comin’ back!”
15
Victoria
The days without Jody flew by. I talked to Karley on a daily and she came over all the time. Jody and I talked every night. We were able to be civil and we laughed like we did before all hell broke loose. It felt so good to have him back. I knew what I needed to do and what I had to do, but for the moment, I wanted to soak all the old him all up. In just that short time, it seemed like Sincere and Serenity had grown a great deal. Their little coos had transformed to an occasional Dada and even they laughed all the time. Life for me couldn’t have been better. The only thing missing was my husband, and in twenty four hours, I would be picking him up. He said he was going to have Leon drop it off to be detailed and he would just get later. I was elated and nervous at the same time. I had mopped the floor three times in the last two days, looking for any and everything to keep me occupied.
“There goes my baaaaaby,” rang out from my cell phone, letting me know that Jody was calling.
“Hello.”
“Aye Lil Mama, how the loves of my life doin’?”
“We are well, how are you?”
“Shit, I’m good, Ma. I know I’m on my way to my family. I couldn’t be betta. I wanna see my Lil Daddy and Fat Mama. I know they huge by now. Somebody ain’t send me no pics and shit, ahem, ahem.”
“Don’t start with me Jody. We know why I didn’t send anything, so please.”
“I was teasing, Ma, we all good. Where they at anyway?”
I walked over to where the twins were laying and I lay down beside them. I put the phone on speaker so they could hear their daddy’s voice.
“Go ‘head, Jody, talk to them. I got you on speaker.”
Jody talked to the babies and sang stupid songs he made up. They just looked around like they were trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. Jody had his moment with the kids before I had to get off the phone and handle my business. I went through my normal routine for the evening, baths and bottles. I could remember a time when it was bottles and blunts for just me, but being a wife and mother had changed all that.
I had a few things to do that would occupy my time for the day and my night would be filled with sleep. I had spoken to Karley earlier and invited them to dinner. I wasn’t too keen on the idea of being alone with Jody. I didn’t want to make the mistake of allowing him to lure me back in with his bedroom eyes and sparkling grill.
It was going to be the four of us, just like old times. We were going to have a good dinner, lots of laughs, and reconnect. Leon was cool with it, but Karley didn’t seem too thrilled.
“Girl, I don’t know why, but I have been super tired and my head has been killing me.”
“Damn, sis, you called the doctor?” I asked.
“Yea all she said was put my feet up and take some Tylenol. So, I took some and I’m laying down right now. But I promise if I feel better by then, I’m coming along for the food.”
“Tell ya what, how ‘bout I cook the food at my house, bring it to your house, and we all just hang over there?”
“Now, that could work! I like how you think, Bitch!”
“Girl bye, I got shit to do.”
************
I got us dressed and we started out. I went and got the car detailed, picked the clothes up from the cleaners, and stopped by Karley’s house to see if she needed me to do anything around the house. Since she said she wasn’t feeling well, I didn’t want her trying to do stuff on our behalf. When we got there, Karley was relaxing on the sofa and the house was squeaky clean.
“I know good and well you ain’t been up in here cleaning?”
“Nope, Leon did,” Karley stated.
“I hear ya,” I said giving her the side eye. Leon wasn’t even home. I stayed an hour or so before I left to finish my errands and end the day.
I got home a little after six, which was perfect timing for our night routine to commence. See, this is how it’s supposed to be. My man out working, I’m doing the household chores and taking care of the children. Maybe I will get my happily ever after, if Jody could get his shit together. I put the babies in their swings, turned on my Rich Homie Quan CD and I danced around the house putting up groceries, picking up toys, and wiping things down. I two stepped my way over to the swings and took the babies to the bathroom for their baths. I got them bathed and in my bed, a habit I had adapted even though I said I wouldn’t, and I called Jody.
“Heeeeey Daddy,” I said the minute he answered. I had the phone on speaker, so he could talk to the babies as well. Jody and I talked until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I saw that the phone still read, In Call.
“Hello?” I said into the receiver.
“Well, good morning Sleepy Head!”
“Eeewww, stalker. What made you stay on the phone?”
“I’ll be a stalker, Vic, but I wanted to hear your snores. I wanted to hear the babies giggle in they sleep. I forgot how good it sounded. I forgot us, Ma, and I am so sorry.”
Why couldn’t I see through his bullshit? Why couldn’t I walk away? What was wrong with me? Wake up, Victoria, wake up!
“I know you are, Daddy, and I forgive you. Can we please not discuss it any further? I just want my husband back. I need you back, Jody.”
“And I’m back, Baby. I love y’all. I swear to God I do, and losing y’all is something I just can’t see. My dad used to say, a man doesn’t know true hurt until he loses his family. Believe it or not, I have felt my share of hurt, and if losing y’all is more than what I already know, then that’s a pain I don’t wanna feel. I’m back, we good. I love you.”
“I love you too. Be safe and we will see you soon.”
Since it was just me and the kids, I didn’t have to cook a big breakfast. I couldn’t eat anyway, and my nerves were a wreck. I did some last minute things throughout the house and by noon, everything had been completed. All I had left to do was wait for the phone call. I would be picking Jody up from the building that houses all the big rigs and bringing my baby back home. I still hadn’t told him we would be spending the evening with Karley and Leon, but I knew it would be a welcomed surprise.
Jody said he would be waiting in the parking lot by six, so we should head out by five thirty. I had a few hours to spare, so I started dinner. I prepared baked spaghetti, garlic bread, corn on the cob, and salad. With an hour to spare, I showered, dressed myself and the kids, and then we packed up to go get our daddy.
I turned into the parking lot of the building and parked. I didn’t even get a chance to kill the engine, before he appeare
d from the side of the building. My heart was pounding in my chest. I looked on at the side of the building and the first thing I noticed was the untied butterscotch colored Timberland boots that were on his feet. I watched his every step, as though he was moving in slow motion. I could see the dark brown leg that extended downward, just as his calf muscle flexed when he put his weight down with his opposite foot. My baby got on shorts, yeeessss! My phone rang and distracted me from my view, if only for a second. I glanced down and saw it was Karley, but I decided to call her back so that I could watch the Infamous Mr. Jody as he bopped my way. I looked up only to find him standing in the middle of the parking lot with his arms extended outward. He had arrived!
Jody was dressed in a pair of denim shorts, sitting extremely low on his waist. His belt was so tight, you couldn’t help but notice the meat pressed against his zipper. A white wife beater adorned his torso and he had a white wash cloth draped over his shoulder. The sweat that reflected off his body made all his tattoos sparkle underneath the sunset. He had a smile plastered on his face and his grill was sparkling. This motherfucker here…he so sexy.
My ringing cell phone dropped from my hand and I got out of the car. I started to walk in his direction, then my pace increased. Before I knew it, I was in a full sprint trying to get to him. When I reached my husband, I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. He held me up by my ass cheeks and placed kisses all over my neck. When he finally put me down, we walked hand in hand to the car. Jody broke down when he saw the babies. He saw what he had been missing, and he felt it. He even said he was riding in the back with them, something about never wanting them out of his sight.
I told Jody how we would be spending his first night back and he wasn’t pleased either, but he was going to go along with it for me. While I was driving, I got an alert on my phone telling me I had a text message, but the phone was on the floor. I was so caught up in listening to him sing songs and my babies giggling, the outside world didn’t even exist.