by Forever Redd
“I will always love you, Karley, but the same love I have for you, I need that to be reciprocated. I wouldn’t ask of you, nor would I expect you, to give me anything I am not giving you. From the womb to the tomb Baby! Now let’s get the kids out the car, so we can go feed that one,” Victoria said while rubbing my basketball shaped belly. “And don’t you try to carry a thing. These babies are heavy and their seats aren’t making ‘em any lighter.”
“Fine by me, cause if they got they daddy head, and they mama shape, them kids prolly weigh a good hunnid pounds already,” Karley joked.
“Lawd, I rebuke this demon, in the name of Jesus.”
“You know what, you didn’t even have to do all that, and it was a joke. Get them babies and come on, my stomach growling.”
We were seated in no time and they started the courses. First a bowl of Japanese soup. Our first conversation course, an ice breaker. Nothing too deep, small talk. Next menu item, the salad. The conversation, was like the salad, a little something to chew on, but had you longing for the main course. That’s what I wanted; I wanted the meat and potatoes of my friend’s life.
Victoria and I talked and talked. We couldn’t even enjoy our food because the conversation had been such a long time coming. The twins woke up while our personal chef was cooking over the hibachi grill and decided to watch the show. With them awake and everything going smoothly, we decided to have a sleepover. It was still relatively early in the day, so we went to the barber shop to raid Leon’s collection of bootleg movies, but I really wanted to check in.
Leon swooped Victoria up in his arms on sight. That was her play-play brother and she loved him to pieces.
“I see the mama bear done come outta hidin’,” Leon said as he lowered her to the ground. “Whea them babies? I know you ain’t leave ‘em in the car. I’ma call the law.”
“Boy bye! You call the law on me?” Victoria asked pointing to her chest. “Call ‘em Billy Badass and let ‘em see the illegals up in here. I jumped out the car to see you and I’m still outside. You wanna call the Holice, or come see ‘em while they still awake?”
“Ok, calm down, we ain’t gotta do all that, witcha mean ass. Lead the way!”
The three of us walked to the car and Leon opened the back door to get a good look at the cooing babies.
“Aaaww man, look at ‘em. They perfect, Lil Mama, she look just like Jody.
Victoria nodded her head, but kept her mouth shut. I took that as the moment to get in and grab the movies. I told Victoria while Leon was taking time out with the babies, we could run inside.
As I flipped through the CD cases filled with all the hot new releases, I noticed a photo album peaking from underneath the counter. It was a scrapbook filled with pictures of Victoria and me. From our sixth grade graduation all the way through our high school graduation. I giggled at a few and got teary eyed at some. The trip down memory lane was such a pleasant one, I stuffed the album in my purse and decided I would take Victoria there as part of the night’s festivities. I continued to look through the movies and grabbed a few from several different genres.
Victoria reappeared from the bathroom and we were free to leave. When we stepped out the door, we stopped dead in our tracks and watched as Leon carefully took Sincere from his car seat. He gave him a soft peck on his forehead and brought his curly hair to his nose and breathed in his scent. Victoria nudged me with her elbow. I fanned her hand away to indicate, Leave me alone, Bitch, I’m watching. Leon placed Sincere on his shoulder and stood from his kneeled position in the parking lot. He rubbed small circles on his back and patted his bottom.
“It’s ok big man, Uncle Leon got ya. Yea, dats right, Uncle Leon got you. You and Lil Mama ain’t gotta ‘ev worry ‘bout nun.”
Sincere’s cries could no longer be heard and it seemed as though he was listening to what his Uncle Leon was saying. Victoria and I were both lost in our own thoughts, while taking in the beautiful scene before us. Victoria gazed on, as if Leon was the real deal. Real men shed the sheet of pride and fold under the touch of a baby…and that wasn’t even his baby. Me on the other hand, I was more concerned with what Victoria was going to cook.
I hated to break the loving moment, but I was ready to get this thing underway.
“Alrite, Baby Daddy, quit lovin’ up on that baby. Yo day comin’,” I said to Leon.
“Hush, Baby Mama. He was cryin’ and shit.”
“Yea, I’m sure he was,” Victoria added.
Victoria took Sincere and placed him back in the car seat. They said their goodbyes and promised to keep in touch, then she jumped in the car and drove off. Leon and I had our personal farewell once she left.
“So, am I going to see you tomorrow?” Leon asked.
“Yes, Leon, I am good. I just needed some time to clear my head. Are we not over that, or must we continue to beat the dead horse? I know I was wrong and I apologized. It won’t happen again, and I am not going to continue to tell you that.”
“Karley, I love you and you know that, but this attitude has got to be handled. I understand you goin’ through the motions and I understand this pregnancy ain’t helping, but for real, tighten that shit up cause right now, you doin’ waaay too much and the last thing you want is for me to put on too.”
Now, to me, that was some sexy shit, and if I wasn’t so fat, I would have snatched my clothes clean off and gave him the business right there in the parking lot.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m good, I don’t need you fixing shit, unless you wanna tighten up this pussy?”
“You betta gon’, or you won’t be staying the night nowhere but in Heaven. Gimme dem lips.”
We shared a wet, sloppy kiss and a warm hug before we finally said goodbye. I was headed to the White house and I was on cloud nine. I couldn’t understand why I had been treating Leon so bad when all he wanted to do was love me. I had to get this shit under control.
************
Victoria
I finally made it home, got the kids inside, and went back out to the car to retrieve the groceries. Once the bags were inside, I began separating all of the items. Karley was pregnant and would eat almost anything, so fixing something to her liking wouldn’t be hard. I would make wings, Hawaiian BBQ meatballs, tossed salad, and cheesecake filled strawberries, drizzled with chocolate. Since I would be in the kitchen for a little while, Karley would be busy playing loving Auntie since she hadn’t seen the kids since they were born.
Karley showed up on my doorstep like she was floating. I could see the twinkle that had once lived in her eyes, returning. She had the pregnancy glow and her hair was beautiful.
“Damn, bitch, Leon musta put it in ya before you got here!” I teased, letting her inside.
“Damn, bitch, look like Jody must keep it in you, the way you cookin’ and shit. He musta beat it up to split that egg. Oh yea, by the way, it smells great in here, Florence,” Karley said calling me by the name of the maid on the TV show The Jeffersons.
I was certain that was meant to be a joke, but my soul felt some treachery in it. “Haha, you got jokes. Matter of fact, tell another, Funny Man.”
“Anyway, go finish cookin’ while I bathe and get these kiddies ready for fun time with Auntie.”
“Yes, yes, you do that. That’s normally what the help does anyway.”
Karley gave me the finger and went off for her so called “fun time with Auntie,” and I finished up things in the kitchen. What is wrong with me? Karley is my girl, my sister, she would never cross me in any way. Why does my heart hold so much hatred? This shit with Jody has got me fucked up. Everybody is suspect. What was Ms. Ethel trying to say to me?
I was so caught up in my thoughts, I almost burnt the chicken. My tears that had dropped in the grease caused a little pop on my hand to wake me from my trance. I took the chicken from the fryer and placed it on a few paper towels to drain any excess grease. I dried my tears and cleared my throat. I wasn’t going to take Karley there, maybe one day, but not thi
s one. Hearing the I told you so’s, and the I knew it from the beginning’s, just didn’t seem too appealing to me so I got myself together and finished cooking dinner.
Karley returned with the freshly bathed babies and took a seat on the couch next to the chunky little feet of Sincere. She had Serenity on her shoulder rocking, singing lullabies in her ear. They were at peace, so I let them be and scooped Sincere up in my arms. I carried my baby to the other couch and got lost in the many throw pillows. Karley was in her zone and I was definitely in mine, while the soothing sounds of Kenny G lulled the babies to sleep. His ass almost got me too, but Karley’s greed overpowered him.
“Serenity is sleep. What about Sincere? I’m hungry,” Karley whispered. I nodded my head and we took them into the nursery to place them in bed. Kisses went around before tucking them in, hopefully for the evening. Then we tiptoed out of the bedroom.
We went straight to the kitchen and fixed our plates, then sat in the living room for some girl talk. We talked about the babies, of course, and a little of Jody, but that was a subject I was trying to avoid. She went on to tell me about some issues she and Leon had been having, but she made it appear as though it was nothing major. She also told me about the way Leon handled her back at the shop, and how it left her drawz dripping. She talked a mile a minute, so either she missed me, or there was something that had her on edge. Here I go speculating again, I thought to myself, but I continued to listen. The baby was due in about two more months and she was undecided on a name.
“Leon wants a junior if it’s a boy, and if it’s a girl, he wanted her to have his initials, but really Vic, I don’t want to be calling a little boy Leon. That’s just so old sounding.” We both laughed at that truth.
“Girl, that’s rough. When I named the twins, I knew I wanted a boy named Sincere. Serenity, well, I have to repeat that prayer every single day. I wanted a reminder.”
“That’s deep, sis? How come you never told me that before?”
“Never had the chance. Life happened. You did your thang, I did mine. When was the opportunity ever present? I told you now. That’s all that matters.”
“How are you doing, Vic? I mean, how are you really doing? I see you walking around like it’s all good in the hood, but I know you. I saw you crying in the kitchen but I stepped back out because I thought you needed a minute to collect yourself. I knew we would get a chance to talk when the babies were down, so spill it.”
“Girl, I don’t even know where to begin…”
“Try the beginning,” Karley interrupted.
“Well let me see. After I had the babies, I was paid a visit by Jody’s Senorita. A Spanish mami that brought along her blonde haired beauty of a translator to tell me she was in love with my husband.” Karley’s jaw dropped. “Fix ya face, cause that ain’t even all. Remember Toya and Tavia, the hoes from back in the day?”
Karley nodded.
“Well, I ran into them and we went out to the strip club, where they are headliners, and they told me about some chick named Nikki that worked at the gas station. Well, he was, is, or whatever, fucking her too. Don’t get me started on the text I saw while I was on my honeymoon. Something about some bitch being pregnant and he didn’t want her to abort the baby. What kinda fuck shit is that?”
“What…the…fuck? Oh my God, Vic, you have been through so much. Why didn’t you call me? You didn’t have to do this alone. Damn, I been neglecting a lot, starting with my only sister. Please, forgive me? I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I feel like this is all my fault. You gotta forgive me. I would never intentionally want to see you hurt. You know that, right?”
Karley was in hysterics. No I told you so, no you need to leave, but only her crying for this apology acceptance. Someone once told me that the first sign of deception is in the tears, but I never believed that until then. I watched my sister as she cried and begged. All this was definitely not her style.
“Of course I forgive you. Why would I not? Karley, you have yet to cross me. You have yet to make me turn my back on you. You have yet to betray my trust…right?”
I smirked when I made the comment. Her response really didn’t matter anymore. I wanted to focus on getting the hell out of this house and moving on to bigger and better things.
“Hey, you remember Ms. Ethel, the older nurse from the hospital?”
Karley nodded.
“Well, she and I got extremely close, and she would watch the kids and everything. She was like another mother to me. Well, she passed away and right before she died, she told me to leave Jody. That’s crazy, right? I mean, she just wants me to up and leave and she didn’t even tell me why. Well, after that shit happened with her, all sorts of weird shit started happening, like the shit I just told you. Things started coming to light. You know what they say Karley, what you do in the dark…So anyway, I think I might be taking her advice.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t you think you are being a little hasty? This lady may know you, but she don’t know Jody like that. How she just gon’ tell you to leave, but cannot give you a reason why? I think you should let the chips fall where they may, but don’t throw away your family because some dying old lady said kick rocks.”
“Did you not hear what I just said? I told you this man is flopping around town sleeping with every Sally, Jane, and Suzie that throws some pussy his way. He clearly ain’t using protection if he got a baby on the way. Shit, it ain’t even my baby. He ain’t even deny the shit via text, he talking ‘bout some don’t kill my baby. What the fuck, Karley? How much of this shit am I supposed to take? Am I supposed to wait til he gives me some shit that is going to send me to an early grave? Maybe until I have bitches beatin’ down my door on some rah-rah type shit? When is enough, enough? You honestly expect me to stick by a man in the name of what, family? Let me let you in on a little secret, family ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Family are the ones that will hug you with one arm and use a knife to pat your back. So family, this family, can kiss my ass.”
Karley’s mouth hung open at my outburst, but I could give the slightest damn. Who cared about me? For once, I wanted the simple shit in life, someone that I could chill with, laugh and joke with, have family time, and fuck me like tomorrow wasn’t coming. Jody was good in one area only, but what good was that if everybody else got that too. I was losing my mind and it just seemed the more bullshit that came my way, I sank deeper and deeper into Hell.
“Victoria, I know you are upset and all, but what you just said was something that you have been holding in for a long time. Have you tried to talk to Jody? Have you tried to see where his head is at? I am saying these things not to deter you from your decision, but to make sure it’s the right one. I know how you feel about that man, and the last thing I want to see is you picking up the pieces of your broken heart, trying to hold the pieces and two baby carriers in the process. Please talk to him, sis. It was you that talked me into keeping this baby, and it was you that said it deserved a chance. He does too, Vic.”
“I hear what you are saying, but there is just too much to talk about with Jody. It’s so much that we don’t even talk anymore. All we do is fuss and fight. Before he left, we had sex that felt more like rape, Karley. We are done. We are done as a couple, done as a family. We are done as a whole. There is other shit, but I don’t care to even speak on it. Jody disgusts me and I don’t know how we even got to this point. I don’t know where it started, I don’t know anything anymore. I walk around with the weight of the world on my shoulders and that sorry motherfucka doesn’t even have the decency to ask can he change a diaper. All this time he been gone, I initiated the phone calls to him. He didn’t even call to check in on the kids. Who does that?”
Karley moved from the loveseat, placed her plate on the coffee table, and came to sit by me. “We gone make this thing right, sis, I promise.” She wrapped her arms around me and I cried.
We sat there and held on to each other and cried for our lives. I was sick with grief over the
way my life had taken that sudden turn for the worse and the fact that I had lost myself in the downward spiral. I neglected myself and my babies. My life in general was fucked and I never even saw the lube. Karley, on the other hand, seemed to be crying from her soul. It was like she needed it cleaned, purified. It was like she too had been broken, but the difference was, I allowed Jody to break me. She broke herself.
Neither of us knew the war that our consciences were fighting. Neither of us knew how to actually win, and neither of us knew which was worse. The battle of self, or the battle of man. Either one would tear your world to shreds, just as it did to Karley’s and mine.
For hours we sat in that position and wept. Only our sniffles pierced the silence, and our tightly closed lids shielded the light from our eyes. Darkness, what we were feeling, what we were living. We didn’t watch our movies, didn’t touch the food. We did nothing but hold each other until we cried ourselves to sleep.
14
Jody
The ringing of the phone stirred me from my drunken stupor, my status of every day. This shit with Major was becoming too much. I needed my wife and my kids. I missed ‘em, but to go back home would mean to swallow my pride, and as a man, that’s all I had.
“Yo,” was all I said.
“Hey, how ya doin’?”
“Hey, Vic, what up? The kids okay?”
“Yea, everything is fine. I just wanted to chit chat. I mean, that is if you have time.”
“I got you, I got time. I just pulled into a rest area, so I could use the conversation. What’s on ya mind?”
“What’s happening to us Jody? I feel like we are strangers, not husband and wife. I thought we agreed when the babies were born, we were walking into a new life. Do you remember telling me that?”
“Yea, Ma, I remember. I am not gon’ sit here and say I been on the straight and narrow, cause at the end of the day, I haven’t. I know that ain’t what you wanted to hear, Ma, but I know you heard shit, maybe seen shit, so ain’t no use in lyin’.”