Past Sins Revisited

by Mary Goldberger

  He stopped and sighed running a hand through his hair as he stared at the floor.

  “Can you deny that you approached me with revenge on your mind, Edric,” Calida asked gently. “I was a means to get to my brother while hurting me in the process was an added bonus although it doesn’t really compare to the harm that my brother did to your sister.”

  “No,” Edric admitted his head lifting to meet her eyes. “I can’t deny that I approached you because of who you are, and who you were related to, Calida.”

  Calida didn’t say anything as her eyes flickered at his words and she sipped her coffee before she told him, “Wilma and the others got upset with me when I learned who you were. Even knowing that you had an ulterior motive and yet I continued to let you use me for revenge.”

  Calida sighed heavily as she stared down into her cup watching the liquid move around as she told him, “I should’ve been pissed at you, but I couldn’t because you loved your sister and were still mourning her loss that was caused by my brother and his conceit.”

  Edric went to say something but Calida continued on not noticing the look that crossed his face at her next words as she kept her eyes on the liquid in her cup.

  “When Jeffrey learned that you acquired the shares for a takeover, he lost what control he had on his emotions,” Calida revealed sinking down on the edge of the couch. “We both knew what your feelings for Sophie were so when he turned the gun on her I just knew that I couldn’t let you lose another person you cared about.”

  Edric stared at her and the words slipped out without him being able to stop them.

  “What about our baby, Calida? If you had known, would you have done the same thing?”

  Calida’s head snapped up her hazel eyes going wide and her hand jerked splashing coffee on it, but she didn’t even notice as tears filled her eyes slipping down her pale cheeks her voice low with tears when she whispered, “So that’s why…”

  She stopped herself from uttering what was going through her mind as Edric said urgently, “Calida, I…”

  She shook her head slowly putting her cup down on the table looking at the liquid on her hand as she told him in a haunted voice that scared Edric, “Something else to haunt me at night because I want to say that I would’ve reacted differently if I knew, but I also know that I didn’t want you to suffer anymore because of my family so…I don’t know.”

  Calida began to sob rocking on the couch closing her eyes as Edric realized Calida believed that even if the situation had been different, she may have done the same thing even though it meant sacrificing her unborn baby’s life.

  Edric immediately shook his head as he put down his cup and walked over to her kneeling down in front of her placing large hands on her knees.

  “No, you wouldn’t have sacrificed your own baby,” Edric began before amending more confidently thinking about how Calida’s eyes had shined that day when she visited Lida and met the little girl, “Our baby, Calida. You would’ve tried to save Sophie but not by taking the bullet as you did then.”

  “How do you know,” Calida sobbed as Edric shifted from his kneeling position to sit on the couch and lifting her into his lap as he sat back against the couch shifting her so she faced him.

  “Because even if you weren’t sure about my feelings for you, you wouldn’t let anything happen to my child,” Edric told her as his hands settled on her hips while she straddled his lap.

  Calida cried harder before she cried, “But I did, Edric, I harmed our baby. I’m so sorry that my action took our baby from us.”

  Edric slid his hands from her hips to her upper back pressing her closer against his chest as she cried in abandonment, and Edric snuggled her up as close to him as he could feeling her guilt that she had weighing down on her. She felt guilty for their child’s death added to the guilt she was already carrying for Adella’s death and Edric finally understood that she believed herself unworthy so she refused to believe what he had been showing her this past week.

  Edric pulled her tight into his body as she cried herself to sleep but his green eyes were hard with determination. He wasn’t going to lose her because she believe she was unworthy of receiving what he felt for her, and he firmed his hold on her as one hand slid down further on her back and around to rest on her flat abdomen where he hoped would round someday with another baby.

  Chapter 31

  The fire was dying down when Edric slid out from underneath the quilt tucking it around Calida. After Calida had fell asleep weeping against him, Edric had laid them down on the couch folding the quilt around them.

  He put more logs on the fire before he stroked it up with the poker staring into the flame for a few minutes until he heard movement behind him.

  He placed the poker back and turned as Calida muttered sleepily a frown puckering her brow, “Edric.”

  “I’m here,” he uttered softly sliding back underneath the quilt with her.

  Once she was able to settle back against him, she sighed in contentment and drifted off back to sleep.

  Edric ran his hand through her hair and down her back as he thought about the woman in his arms. He had known she had been haunted by Adella’s death from the letter she wrote him, but what shook him was it had haunted her for ten years and not because she had met him. Meeting him only made it worse once she discovered who he was, and his eyes hardened with disgust that his own plan for revenge had made her suffer even more than what she was already suffering.

  “It wasn’t your fault, baby,” he whispered kissing the top of her head. “Neither my sister’s death, or our child’s death.”

  He continued stroking her back and playing with the ends of hair as the fire crackled in the fireplace and he closed his eyes feeling Calida’s body fold into him.

  It was going for midnight when Calida opened her hazel eyes filled with emotion as she stared up at Edric.

  “Hi,” he whispered stroking his hand down her back having woken up a few minutes earlier.

  “Hi,” she whispered back to him a blush going over her cheeks as she recalled weeping all over him before the blush faded away remembering what had caused the bout of weeping. “I’m sorry for weeping all over your chest.”

  Edric chuckled which laying against him Calida felt it rumble through his chest into her.

  “I enjoyed you laying against my chest, sweetheart, although I wish I could’ve done more to ease your pain,” Edric stated a rough note in his voice that Calida identified correctly as she unconsciously stroked his chest.

  Calida bit her lip before she asked hesitantly, “How did you find out about the baby, Edric?”

  Edric gave her a stern glare as he explained, “Jake delivered the envelope per your request to Wilma, and within twenty minutes of receiving it, I was at their house. I tore up the document of you giving me your shares of Reseda Electronics as I had enough shares for the takeover without adding yours, and I think that the shareholders would prefer that you kept what shares you have in the company.”

  “But…” Calida started in confusion sitting up but Edric pulled her back down as his hands firmed on her back keeping her against him.

  “The board members were very helpful once they realized that you were going to be my wife,” he confided watching her eyes widen in astonishment. “Your father bragged about you often to them and many had hoped he would’ve left the business to you.”

  “I know nothing of the business though,” Calida muttered staring up at him.

  Edric laughed as he began to stroke her back again. “They know that but at the same time they believed that you would’ve learned so the business didn’t end up the way it did with your brother.”

  He tensed lightly as he referred to Jeffrey and Calida merely stroked a hand across his chest again trying to get him to relax.

  “Adella wasn’t his target, Edric,” Calida told him quietly. “He had another woman in mind whose name was Adela with one “l” because of some slight her brother made against Jeffrey or how
he perceived it anyway. Knowing Jeffrey as I did, he talked her over to the house with something about helping her get into the college he attended or something to that extent, and if he introduced himself as a former student with certain pull then she probably fell for it. Unfortunately, I don’t know the circumstances that he used to entice her over although I heard a few of his friends joking about it.”

  Calida pushed herself up and Edric relaxed his arms allowing her sit up as she stared into his eyes with confidence. “She never dated Jeffrey and I need you to reassure Matt of that so he can move on with the knowledge she cared about him deeply although I can’t say for sure if it was love.”

  Edric nodded his head not going to mention at the moment Matt knew already because she told him before passed out the night she got shot.

  Edric’s arms flexed at the thought of that night and how close he had come to losing her with his unborn child.

  Calida glanced at him worriedly as she placed a hand on his arm thinking he was getting upset as he thought about his sister, and she sighed sadly laying her head back down on his chest. Although she wanted to meet his eyes, she didn’t want to see the sadness, or the disgust, that would enter his eyes as she told him the rest.

  “Later that night, I went downstairs for a glass of water when I noticed the lights on in the pool house. I didn’t think anything of it because that was where Jeffrey took his ‘bedmates’ or one nightstands. I had turned away to go back to my room when I heard her scream, and Wilma came in shortly after telling me that it was probably some movie that Jeffrey and his companion were watching. Before I could agree though the door to the pool house opened and…”

  Calida’s voice dropped at this point to a mere whisper that Edric had to tilt his head closer so he could hear her as she continued telling him what happened afterwards which her mind replayed nightly for her, and Edric held her close as his jaw clenched at the image her words created.

  “I wanted to call an ambulance,” Calida revealed to him tears soaking his t-shirt, “but Adella asked for you to be called instead.”

  “I know,” Edric uttered while his eyes clouded with his own guilt. “I was on a date and I didn’t answer the phone. When my date went to the bathroom, I checked the message as Matt who had been looking for me tracked me down to ask if I had seen Adella. We arrived where you told us in a panic which turned to rage and sorrow when we found her lying there.”

  Calida flinched at his words as she told him, “I’m sorry that I was such a coward and didn’t help her, or call anyone to help her.”

  Edric sighed as he admitted, “Whenever I thought about that phone call, I would get so pissed because I believed that the person who called should’ve done more than just call me. I ignored the tears and sorrow in the voice, and just felt anger at the person’s cowardice. Even when I met you, I still felt anger at that person until I got your letter and realized that maybe there had been reasons why the person didn’t call for help.”

  Edric felt Calida draw away from him mentally even though she didn’t move muscle, and he groaned as his words echoed around the room. His arms tightened around her as he continued on, “When we met Jeffrey together that first time outside Mrs. Larina’s restaurant, you were terrified but you faced him head on. I don’t think you were able to do that when you lived under his thumb after your father died.”

  “I just wanted to leave,” Calida admitted telling him something that few knew. “If I left which Jeffrey reminded me often before my eighteenth birthday, then I would lose my inheritance so I hid away from my brother and he left me alone as long as I didn’t bother him, or interfere in any of his businesses. I turned eighteen two days before that night.”

  Edric felt anger fill him as he thought about what Calida suffered at the hands of her brother as he kissed her briefly before he tucked her head back against his chest.

  “I believe my sister liked you, Calida, from that first meeting,” Edric told her as the fire crackled and the storm raged outside.

  “As did I,” Calida told him a smile in her voice.

  Edric chuckled as he kissed the top of her head again. “Let’s get some sleep and let tomorrow take care of itself.”

  Calida yawned in his chest as she nodded her head sleepily as she muttered “okay” wrapping an arm around his waist and snuggled into his body.

  Edric shifted them both on the couch making them more comfortable as he buried his head in Calida’s hair, but he sensed that she still had some reserve and he fell asleep wondering how he could make her see that she was important to him even knowing she was there the night Adella died.

  “Calida, Calida,” the woman’s voice called out, and Calida turned around a frown on her face which paled as the woman came into view, but she didn’t run away as she whispered, “Adella.”

  “Finally,” Adella said her green eyes so much like her brother’s smirked at her. “I’ve wanted to talk with you, but you’ve kept running from me although we’re in your dreams.”

  “I wasn’t ready to face you even if it is only a dream,” Calida admitted hazel eyes dim with guilt.

  “I know,” Adella said in sympathy, “but I’ve been waiting until you were ready.”

  Calida shook her head at the familiar saying as she told her, “I let you die so why would you want to talk with me?”

  Adella smiled at her before she told Calida, “I didn’t blame you because I would’ve been scared too, and yet even though you were scared you still followed them. You sat with me even though you were shaking and trembling.”

  Calida shook her head again as she murmured, “But I stood outside the pool house frozen even though I could hear your cries and whimpers.”

  Adella’s eyes went dim with painful memories before she shook her head dispelling them as she laughed getting a confused look from Calida.

  “I’ll let you in on a little secret, Calida,” Adella told her with a broad smile. “When I met you ten years ago, I wanted to introduce you to my brother.”

  Calida’s eyes widened at her words and Adella smiled even wider watching the shock on Calida’s face.

  “There was something about you that made me think you would be good for him,” Adella revealed giving her knowing look. “Yet, the woman you are now is much better for him because even though you care for him, you don’t allow Edric to have his way and he needs someone like that in his life.”

  Calida chuckled tilting her head to the side as a rueful smile crossed her face muttering, “It’s my dream and that’s what I hope I would say to me.”

  Adella chuckled giving her a knowing look before she stepped back and Calida frowned as she began to disappear.

  “Take care of Edric for me, Calida, but make sure to have a niece and nephew for me to be proud of,” she called out before she completely disappeared.

  “Wait,” Calida called out wondering how she vanished in her own dream when she wasn’t ready for her to leave yet, and she froze when she heard baby laughter before tears filled her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

  Calida woke with a start as the dream faded away and she sat up in a rush knocking the blanket off of her noticing that Edric wasn’t in the room at the moment.

  “Edric,” she called out a second before the front door opened admitting Edric with an arm load of wood.

  “It’s getting colder,” he stated as he shouldered the door shut and walked over to put down the wood next to the fireplace.

  “Are you hungry,” he asked taking off his jacket and going over to hang it out before turning to face Calida seeing a shock look in her beautiful hazel eyes. “What’s wrong? Did you have another nightmare again?”

  Calida shook her head as a bemused look replaced the shocked look on her face. “I had a very weird dream. In the dream, I met Adella and…”she shook her head not sure if she should go on.

  “And,” Edric prompted his eyes steady on her.

  “She said she didn’t blame me for what happened and now she thinks I’m even more s
uited for you than I was ten years ago,” Calida told him in disbelief running a hand over her eyes. “I think I would like that to be true so I dreamt she was the one who told me so I can ease my own conscious of my actions.”

  Edric smiled as his green eyes flared with a hint of speculation as he told her, “She told me the same thing in my dream so I’m guessing we were both wishing for the same thing.”

  “But it’s just a dream,” Calida protested her hazel eyes skeptical, “It’s impossible.”

  Edric laughed placing his hands on Calida’s hips as he suggested, “Maybe it was a dream, but I want to believe that I talked with my sister one last time.”

  Calida stared up at him before she nodded her head slowly as she let out a few slow breaths before admitted wryly, “Although if we told anyone about our dreams, they would think we were crazy.”

  Edric laughed again before telling her, “Then let’s keep it between us. Deal?”

  He raised an eyebrow as he took one hand from her hips and held it out for Calida to shake and she smiled as she fitted her smaller hand into his larger repeating, “Deal.”

  “So back to my question,” Edric said after they shook hands and his hand settled back on Calida’s hip. “Are you hungry?”

  At the moment with her staring at him with clear hazel eyes, he ‘thanked’ his sister for her visit into Calida’s dream whether she was a figment of Calida’s conscious trying to find peace or not, but it seemed to banish some of the shadows that haunted her lovey eyes.

  “I am,” Calida told in a firm and confident voice which got an answering smile from Edric as he turned her toward the kitchen. “So what are we making?”

  Edric shrugged his shoulders as he walked behind her toward the kitchen and suggested, “Let’s get creative.”

  Calida’s eyes lit up with excitement at the thought and Edric groaned aloud although mentally he laughed with genuine male delight at the change in the woman he loved, and all from one dream.