Filthy (A Stepbrother Romance) #1

by J. L. Beck

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” My tone was bitchier than I wanted to make it, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to talk about it.

  “I get it.” He took a step back, his hands raised in the air. I almost wanted to apologize. Almost.

  “I just don’t want to talk about it. It’s the past, and I don’t even know why…” I trailed off. I was on the verge of tears. I needed sleep because there was no reason for me to be this emotional over something that happened years ago.

  “It’s because you miss him.” It seemed more like a confession than an answer. I didn’t really know anything about Talon’s mom. He never talked about it. Anything you ever heard was something that was sent down through the grapevine. By the time it got to you, the story had been manipulated so many times, there was just no way any part of it was still true.

  “Missing him and having a dream about him that causes me pain are two very different things, and didn’t I say I didn’t want to talk about it?” I pulled the blanket up to my chest, covering my nightshirt, and the fact that I had nothing else on but a pair of undies.

  “You don’t have to hide from me, Mia. I’m not going take from you when I can have anyone I want. Believe me when I say there is a line a mile long.” Cocky Talon was back in full force, smirk and assholier all in one.

  “I’m not hiding anything.” My cheeks grew red, giving way to my lie. How had this changed from my father to hiding from him? After the kiss we shared earlier, I wasn’t sure we should be in the same room like we were now.

  “You’re hiding a lot of things. The first being the way your dad’s death made you feel, and believe it or not I know a thing or two about death.” Talon made himself right at home by plopping down into my big brown reading chair. The moonlight shined in through the bedroom window, casting a shadow around us. It was like we were in our own personal moon-lit bubble.

  “What do you know about death?” I questioned. I wasn’t sure why I was allowing him to stay in here, or why we were talking about this still. Maybe it was just because I was lonely and craving some human interaction.

  Talon’s long, slim fingers beat against the arm of the chair as if he was contemplating something.

  “I’m not an open person, which you know. I don’t do love, and I don’t do copious amounts of sharing because life is what you make it. When you focus too much on the shitty stuff it ruins the good in your life.” He paused, his eyes staring right into mine. I could feel the connection between us growing. I dug my fingernails into the bed sheets forcing myself to stay seated on the bed.

  “Most people know that I lost my mom, but they don’t know what it did to me or how much it changed me.” He leaned his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands. Anguish came off of him in waves. True emotions, not the fake, masked like ones I’d seen every day exploded from within him.

  “You don’t need to tell me anything, Talon,” I reassured him, knowing that sharing something so daunting couldn’t change things between us. I couldn’t let Talon into my heart without hurting myself. I needed to protect myself because there was no one to pick me up when shit went bad, and it always went bad.

  Everything in life had an expiration date: milk, bread, life, and love. That’s why him telling me this changed nothing. Or at least it couldn’t.

  “I do need to tell you,” he urged on, his face was hidden in the shadows. I wanted to get up from the bed and wrap my arms around him but stopped myself.

  Don’t get attached. Don’t fall in love. Don’t give into his past.

  “Talon, I don’t want to know. I can’t know,” I confessed. I had to because I was scared to let anything happen between us. I had to fight it because if I didn’t I would end up hurt. Heartache never sat well when you still had to be around them for years afterwards.

  He ran a hand through his dark hair before pulling his face from the shadows. In his eyes I could see a thunderstorm brewing, the start of lightning and thunder on the horizon. I knew he deserved to share this story with the girl that mattered more than I did, or more than I ever could.

  “You should know though, because then you’ll get why I am the asshole I am. Why I use and abuse, and why I refuse to care.” I could feel fear in the words he spoke. I knew what I was about to do would sever everything that had already formed between us, but I couldn’t let this keep going on.

  “Get out, Talon. Leave this room and go on with your night. I don’t care to know why you hate everyone or why you want to use me. I just don’t,” I yelled, getting up from the bed and opening the bedroom door.

  My stomach flipped and nausea rose in my throat. My eyes felt heavy and my chest ached as I watched shock cover his face. Then his eyes went flat and his jaw was clenched, and I could tell there was something he wanted to say to me but knew he wouldn’t. Talon didn’t give you chances. He eyed me up from the tips of my toes to the top of my head as he got up from the chair stopping right in front of me.

  “I know you want to fuck me, so why don’t you just give in already. I thought for sure sharing something with you would get those silky panties to come right off of you.” He smiled but it was forced.

  “Never. It will never happen, Talon. Not in a million years.” My heart was beating out of my chest as I spoke the words. I could feel the heat of his body against my skin as he pushed into my chest, forcing my body against the wall. I was trapped with nowhere to go, his hard cock pushing against my thigh.

  “You feel that…that stiffness.” I couldn’t muster up even a word because I wasn’t sure I could trust myself to say no to anything he asked.

  “I’m rock hard for you. Ready to claim your pussy, and you continue to shove me away.”

  “I don’t want you or your cock,” I said without warning. He glared at me, one of his fingers reaching out to run across my bottom lip.

  “Such a sweet girl to being saying such a naughty word. It’ll be more than an amazing to watch you suck me off one of these days.” His words were turning me on, his voice like velvet as it rubbed across my throat and neck. I could smell him. I could feel him, and I’ll be damned I really fucking wanted him.

  “Go!” I ordered, forcing the words from my mouth. All I got was a smirk as he rubbed his chest across mine, causing my nipples to pucker. Wetness seeped into my panties.

  “You’re wet for me…” Talon spoke just as he pulled away from me, his body almost out the door. “I can tell even if you don’t want to confess it yet. That’s okay though, we can play this cat and mouse game as long as you want, or at least until you’re begging for your release.” Then just like that he was gone down the hall, probably relieving himself all while I was still trying to get my heart back into my chest. Talon had the power to destroy me, and I had all but given him the power to do so. I was fucking screwed and not even in the good way.

  Her Pussy Was Mine

  I avoided her like the plague, forcing myself to work out and hang out with Nick and Mandy more often. I escaped the house everyday before she woke, and I didn’t come home until I was sure she was asleep. There was no other way to handle the almost daily hard on I had. It was either that or fuck her into submission. I could easily do it. A pair of handcuffs, a nice sturdy bed post. Yeah she would come harder than she ever had.

  “Fuck me harder.” Mandy bit at my neck as I slammed into her repeatedly. Mandy could handle the dirty side of me, the side of me that most couldn’t. Gritting my teeth, I focused all my attention on her pussy, the way it clenched around me. She was nothing like Mia; she was better, so much fucking better.

  “Mia,” I growled into her throat releasing my hot semen into her. I could tell the moment she heard Mia’s name instead of hers because she pushed against my chest, forcing me to release the hold I had on her.

  “Mia? Do I look like your stepsister? Are you fucking kidding me, Talon?” Mandy flipped her hair at me and pulled her skirt down and shirt up, covering her huge tits. I wanted to feel bad, I truly did.

  I didn’t
even respond because truthfully what could I say. Oh I just climaxed thinking about another girl while I was inside of you, sorry? No. I just let the pieces fall wherever. Instead I offered her a shrug, fixed myself, and walked away. I wasn’t even five feet out of the secret closet that Mandy and I met up in when I heard Matt’s voice followed my Mia’s.

  “The party is tomorrow night, and I know Talon will be there but if you want to go with me I can always pick you up... at say seven?” I hid against the wall, praying they wouldn’t come around the corner. I waited for Mia to answer him. After how hard to get she played the other night, I was going to be pissed if she took him up on his offer. Then again what did I have to offer except a nice hard fuck and a life time of heartache? It was for the best if she said yes.

  “That sounds great. I look forward to it,” she responded, and my heart plummeted to the floor. Life with Mia was like being on a constant rollercoaster. You never knew when you were up or down, or where the next turn would take you. You just yearned for the moments when your stomach would fill with butterflies as the unknown settled upon you.

  She was right, I had no reason to share my past and my mother’s death with her, but I wanted too. I wanted it to be her, because I felt something for her like I never had anyone before. She knew it too, because when she told me she couldn’t handle hearing it she all but opened up the door to her heart.

  I had a set of keys to her heart, I just needed to find the right lock that they belonged to. I stood in that hallway for a long moment, and when I heard footfalls coming around the corner I still stood there.

  Matt appeared, a flash of fear forming in his eyes. That’s right, prick, you should be afraid, very fucking afraid. Her pussy was mine. Her body mine. I would possess and own her one day soon enough, and one date with this fucker didn’t mean he was getting one fucking taste of her.

  “If I find out you touch her, smell her, or even try and kiss her, I will rip your fucking balls off and shove them down your throat.” I didn’t mince my words. I had no reason to when it came to her. It was like I was another person when I thought of someone else being with her.

  Matt came to a halt a few feet from me, the words I had just spoken being the only thing that separated us.

  “I won’t do anything that Mia doesn’t want me to. I don’t get what your hard on is with her and I going out. I’m your friend, dude. I know she’s your sister and all, but I’m not some fucking rapist creep.” Matt didn’t seem afraid as he spoke, and I couldn’t tell him that it wasn’t about her being my sister that made it bother me without giving away the fact that I was falling for her and I hadn’t even fucked her yet.

  “I know, dude, I’m just making sure. I got to watch her back, there’s a lot of assholes like me around here.” I smirked putting the attention onto something else. I couldn’t have him looking at me with questions that I refused to answer.

  “Good. I’ll take care of her.” He winked and slammed his hand onto my shoulder. I nodded and watched him walk the rest of the way down the hall turning near the stairwell.

  Fucking-A. That’s exactly what I was afraid of. Of her finding someone better than me and realizing just how big of a fuck up I truly was. I had nothing to give her as the person I was, and maybe I just needed to give up and face the facts.

  Maybe I wasn’t Talon fuckin’ Reed anymore. Maybe I was just Talon Reed, and that’s the man Mia needed me to be. I didn’t know, and I didn’t think I would ever know.

  Mia would never give me the chance to find out.

  Stupid Is As Stupid Does

  I curled my hair and applied my dark red lipstick just as Matt got here, the beep of his car horn reminding me that I needed to get my ass moving. I pulled on my brown boots, tucking my blue jeans into them. I went simple because I knew it was going to be way too cold to wear a mini skirt like most of the girls would. I smiled like I was happy as Matt came to the door and knocked. He placed a kiss against my cheek and told me how pretty I looked.

  I knew Matt was the safer choice, though. I knew choosing to go on a date with him would get Talon to leave me alone, it would force him to keep his distance, and it would give me the space I needed to not make a dumb choice.

  “Did I tell you what Talon said to me the other day?” Matt asked, backing out of the driveway. I had to hide the shock from my face, so I turned and looked out the window at the passing scenery.

  “I don’t think so.” I smiled, or at least tried to. My stomach hurt like someone had kicked me in it. I knew seeing him or hearing his name would just cause my body to react in the worst way. Anxiety wasn’t something I really wanted to be dealing with tonight.

  “Well…” He laughed deeply. It was a happy laugh, and a smile pulled at his lips. He was handsome in an all-American boy looking way. He would make some girl around here really happy one day. “He all but told me if I do anything to hurt you that he will rip my balls off and shove them down my throat,” he continued.

  “Wow, that’s ummm, violent?” I stumbled over my words, a bit taken back by the fact that Talon had cared enough to speak to Matt about our date. It was strangely nice and strangely odd.

  “I know, right. So if he asks anything, please tell him it went great and I didn’t hurt you because I really like where my balls are on my body right now.” Matt turned to me, his eyes focusing on my lips for a moment before coming up to my eyes. I stared at him a bit in awe that someone so gentleman like could be friends with an asshole like Talon.

  Matt was the complete opposite of Talon. Matt was stocky and had curly brown hair. His teeth were straight, and his eyes were a watered-down blue in comparison to Talon’s. They couldn’t be anymore unalike. God. I needed to stop comparing them to one another and be thankful for the fact that Matt had asked me out tonight. At least I wouldn’t be spending another night in my bedroom alone.

  I smiled. “I’ll be sure to tell him nothing happened. After all, he doesn’t need to worry about anything. You seem like a good guy.”

  Matt winked and said, “Yeah, a lot of people ask me how I can be friends with Talon and not be a complete dick.” I tilted my head at his comment. That was actually a question I should be asking.

  “Well how do you do it?” I laughed, my hand rubbing down my pants. I was nervous and sweating. I had nothing to be worried about, but still I felt that distinct build of anxiety forming.

  “Talon took me in when I had no one. I was raised to treat women right. Just because I hang out with someone doesn’t mean that I have to pick up there shitty traits. Right?” Matt asked as he pulled us into the local McDonald’s.

  “Yeah I guess, but are we not a reflection of those we spend the most time with?” I didn’t know why I asked the question. Maybe I wanted to stump him? Catch him in some sort of lie? Find a way to taint his perfection.

  “Sometimes, but I feel I’m better than Talon could ever be; no offense since he is your brother and all.” A shudder worked down my spine.

  “None taken,” I reassured him.

  The conversation seemed to end there. We headed through the drive thru so we could get to the party sooner. I was cool with going to a low-key place because I wasn’t one for the attention. Matt ordered our food and paid for it, and then we headed out to the field party.

  The roads were shitty, mud and gravel covered as we pulled off the main highway and out toward Donovan’s house.

  “Can I tell you something?” Matt sighed, his grip on the steering wheel tight. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what his question was, but I nodded my head yes, swallowing past the ball that had formed in my throat.

  “I think Talon has a thing for you, and I think that’s why he’s so against us trying to go out.” Tension released from him, and I got what was bothering him immediately.

  “Talon doesn’t have a chance in hell. Plus no, it’s just, no. Okay?” I shook my head, lying my way through the entire answer and secretly praying that he didn’t catch me doing so.

  “Good.” He reached ove
r placing his hand on top of mine. I looked down at his hand, realizing that his touch didn’t set my body on fire or cause my heart rate to skyrocket. My attention lifted to his as soon as he cleared his throat.

  “Is this okay, because if its not then I can…”

  “No. It’s fine.” I gripped his hand tightly before he could pull away from me. I needed someone’s touch right now, even if it wasn’t the man’s touch that I wanted most. The smile he gave me in response would’ve made any other girl’s dreams. I just didn’t have the heart to tell Matt yet that it wasn’t him and that it never would be.

  We held hands the entire way out to the field. There were no words said after he asked me about Talon’s feelings toward me and mine toward him. I was under the impression that he was afraid to lose me to him, and he should be. I wasn’t going to tell Talon he had a chance. He would throw a party and do something far more reckless than he normally did.

  Matt watched me out of the corner of his eye as we pulled into the field. A house the size of a mansion set off in the distance. I didn’t know who this Donovan guy was, but by the looks of it his parents had a lot of money.

  “You look surprised.” Matt observed.

  “I’ve just never heard of this guy. I had no idea that there were so many millionaire families in the Central Heights area,” I replied. The grass in the field was long, and the barn off to the right of where we parked seemed to already be housing quite a few people. A huge pile of branches and pallets were in the center of the field. I had never been to one of these things, but I was kind of excited.

  “There aren’t really a lot of people that have money around here, it’s more so based off of who you know.” Matt seemed saddened when he spoke. I didn’t understand what the problem was, but I felt the need to apologize for hurting him if I really had.