Chase Banter [02] Marching to a Different Accordion

by Bennett, Saxon

  “Melodramatic lesbian fiction seems to be more about the trials of being lesbian, loss of partners, trouble with parents, coming out, past relationships that have not been resolved and then some serious sex scenes.”

  “That pretty much sums it up,” Chase said.

  “And your fiction seems to be interested in redemption through the realization of our faults. You teach through humor.”

  Chase had managed to put the kitchen island between them. “So you’ve read some of my stuff?”

  “All eleven of them. The jacket cover photo proved very inspirational. I wanted to know the writer through her works and especially before I met such a beautiful weaver of words.”

  Chase blushed slightly and hated herself for it. P.H. was definitely the Lothario Chase had pegged her for. She was a slightly built woman with a pretty nose, small mouth and almond-colored eyes. Her hair was black and spiked and if she wore a kimono she would have made a perfect courtesan.

  “Don’t you find, however, that lesbian fiction on the whole, focuses too much on monogamous relationships, the getting of one and the keeping of one? Your fourth novel, Whatever She Wants, did explore the idea of non-monogamous relationships, but in the end you too succumbed.” She had picked up the “lost” corkscrew and was coming toward Chase. She playfully wagged it at Chase, who attempted to grab it but was rebuked. “Not so fast.” She came closer. “Don’t you ever get tired of always fucking the same woman over and over again? What if one could taste the delights of others but still maintain the original relationship and not harm it in any way?”

  “I’d say you were dreaming. The mind and the human heart do not work that way.”

  P.H. handed Chase the corkscrew and she took it, hoping this would put an end to the antics, but instead just as Chase was inching away P.H. put her arms on either side of Chase, effectively pinning her to the kitchen island. “Ah, but I think with a little practice it could be. Partner number one finds a lover and succumbs, meanwhile partner number two is allowed to do the same thing, all with the understanding that the secondary lovers remain in that position for as long as all parties agree.”

  “Just keep it loose and easy,” Chase said.

  “Exactly.”

  “You act like having sex outside a relationship is the equivalent of joining a book club and meeting a few kindred spirits.” Chase could feel her face getting hot as P.H. leaned in closer.

  “It could be. Have you ever tried it?”

  “Once when I was very young and it didn’t get a good reception.” She hated having to admit to this, but she didn’t want P.H. to think that she was a possible candidate because she had never tried having more than one girlfriend at a time and thus had no viable experience to build her case on. “Besides, it wasn’t a committed relationship. We were baby dykes playing around.” She glanced up at the clock on the wall just over P.H.’s head. Where the fuck was Gitana? She had had to work late but would arrive in time for dinner.

  “I think you could do it and I’d like to be your first experiment.” It appeared she was going to lean in and kiss Chase but for the timely arrival of Gitana.

  “There you are,” Gitana said. “Stella told me you were getting the wine.” She glanced at P.H., who took a step back. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Chase’s life partner, Gitana Ortega.” She said this pointedly.

  “A pleasure to meet you. P.H. Kinjera. I am a big admirer of your partner.”

  “I can see that,” Gitana said sweetly. “So am I.” She took Chase’s arm. “Your mother sent me to find you. She wants the wine in this century.”

  “Of course,” Chase said, grabbing the wine and the corkscrew. Gitana put her arm around Chase’s waist and then moved her right hand lower, giving Chase’s bum a squeeze as she glanced over her shoulder at P.H.

  “Was that proprietary?” Chase said.

  “Damn right. She’s lucky I didn’t deck her,” Gitana said as they passed into the living room. “Are you all right?”

  “I think I need a stiff drink.”

  Gitana laughed.

  Donna came flying up. “She propositioned you, didn’t she?”

  “You knew she was a letch and you didn’t tell me?” Chase said, alarmed at this sudden lapse in her P.A.’s behavior.

  “Well, I’d heard things so I spent almost a half an hour extolling the virtues of your relationship—you’d think she would have gotten the point.” Donna appeared to be just as upset as Chase. “Oh, my goodness, this is horrid.”

  Gitana put her hand on Donna’s arm. “I’m not exactly excited about it, but I think we got the point across.”

  “Damn her! Do you know how many perfectly wonderful relationships she’s managed to screw up by offering a little on the side, and the worst part is that she makes it sound like it’s part of normal human behavior.”

  “How do you know all this?” Chase asked.

  “Anyone who knows anything about the current lesbian intelligentsia knows about the mind fucks that go on there.”

  “So this whole panel-thing-touring-group of ‘let’s get our lezzie stuff out there’ is all about rock star fucking?” Chase was mortified.

  Donna nodded, not meeting Chase’s gaze.

  “There you are,” Stella said, taking the wine. Seeing it was unopened she looked quizzically at Chase, who handed her the corkscrew. “Why didn’t you open it in the kitchen?”

  “I was accosted by a Lothario and had to make a hasty exit.”

  “P.H.?” Stella said. She smiled sagely.

  “How did you know?” Chase inquired.

  “She propositioned me earlier. She says she loves older women and being straight is not a problem in her world. Of course, if I were going to fall madly in love with a woman it would have to be Peggy.”

  Gitana was not concerned by this and said, “So how did you get away from her?”

  Chase stared at her mother and seriously contemplated what she hoped had been a flippant remark.

  “I told her I had a bladder infection,” Stella said, waving at Peggy who’d just come in.

  “I’d stick close to Ellen McNeil if I were you. She’s dedicated to true love and longevity.”

  “We’ll keep an eye on her,” Gitana said, patting Donna on the shoulder. “Stop worrying and please spend some serious time with Lacey, who’s been promising the world to everyone and I’m not certain she has any real idea of the consequences of what she’s doing.”

  “Like what?” Donna said.

  “Like promising Delia she could make the opening speech.”

  “Oh, no!” Donna said, rushing off, to find Lacey and put an end to the madness. She had her cell phone plastered to her ear. Evidently, she was going to locate Lacey one way or the other.

  “Can’t we just go and see Stella’s new library and hide out until dinner?” Chase said, snagging a Corona off a tray as a rent-a-waiter went by.

  “What about Isabel and Lily? I thought they were coming. And we’re supposed to keep P.H. away from Ellen.”

  “Lily and Isabel will be fine. Alma is here and you know how much she and Lily enjoy each other’s company. Isabel and my mother can talk books. We’ll just check on Ellen about bedtime and make sure she goes to her own.” Chase had invited Sandra and Marsha from the SUP group as well, thinking this would be a great group opportunity, but they’d been called away for the funeral of Sandra’s great aunt. Lily had given them both serious instructions on how to properly behave at the funeral and the group had donned black and performed a mock wake to facilitate the learning process. Chase, not one for funerals, had found it most instructive as she’d just killed off the victim in her mystery novel.

  “Okay, but let’s just kind of mill around the crowd, wave a few times and then ease out of the room,” Gitana suggested.

  As they reached the edge of the living room, Chase said, “Very good. Where’d you learn to do that routine?”

  Gitana smiled slyly. “From attending church social functions, quinceanera
s, weddings, funerals and every other kind of disagreeable social gathering. You should see Graciela do it. She’s incredible. She can enter and exit a room and give the appearance of always having been there.”

  They entered the library, which Stella had just redone to go with the rest of her new décor. It was beautiful and looked like it came right out of an English country house. It was dark paneled and had floor-to-ceiling bookcases. Stella had combined two rooms so that the library was spacious. It had a gas fireplace with an ornately carved mantel and a large Victorian-style desk. By the stack of books there were two long reading tables. Of these Chase was envious. She always found it extremely difficult to do reference work on a desk crowded with computer equipment. Gitana ran her hand along the reading table.

  “You need one of these,” she stated. She looked around, “Actually, you need a proper library.” She hoisted herself up on the table.

  “And just where would we put this library? The studio certainly isn’t big enough.” She gazed down at Gitana, who looked absolutely gorgeous. She had a clear view of her lovely breasts. Chase suddenly wished they were at home—not solely because she wanted to get away from these people, but because she had an incredible longing to be in bed, making love to her beautiful partner. It was more intense at this moment than in the earlier days of their love and it almost frightened her. Before Gitana could respond, Chase kissed her softly at first and then more urgently. Their tongues intertwined and then something happened to them simultaneously. Chase pulled up Gitana’s lovely dress and Gitana pulled her into her, unbuttoning Chase’s dress shirt and reaching for her breast and kissing it softly. Chase eased Gitana back onto the library table while Gitana unzipped her pants and reached inside. Chase let out a soft moan of delight. Gitana guided Chase’s hand between her legs and they moved against one another slowly at first and then hard and fast, exploding into each other together.

  They lay breathing hard, their bodies wound around each other in a state of moderate undress when the library door opened and they heard Stella’s voice.

  “I’ve just had it redone and it positively oozes authenticity,” Stella said, as she switched on the overhead lighting. Standing next to her were Alma, Lily, Isabel, P.H. and Ellen McNeil, who looked more stricken than Chase.

  “What on earth are you two doing?” Stella said indignantly. “On my library table!”

  “I would say that it was more than apparent,” P.H. said, her neat white teeth gleaming as she smiled.

  Alma kindly looked away and began examining the books, as did Ellen. Isabel smirked as Chase tidied herself and Gitana slid off the table. “I think I’ll go get a beer. Chase, would you like one?” and she sidled out of the room as if nothing were wrong. Chase nodded belatedly.

  Stella glared at both of them.

  “Young lady,” Lily said as she stood next to Stella. “This is very high on the SUP scale, about a ninety-seven, I’d say, of socially unacceptable behavior at a dinner party—not to mention in your mother’s library. I suggest you apologize and curb your lust for a more appropriate time. I am aware that you feel that you are, so to speak, ‘losing your lezzie,’ but this is not the time or the place to exercise your libido.”

  Chase stood mortified.

  “Losing your lezzie, eh,” P.H. said smugly.

  Now that was socially unacceptable on Lily’s part, Chase thought.

  “Perhaps we should start dinner. Lacey and Jasmine have arrived.” Stella glared at Chase with a look that meant “I will deal with you later.”

  In the living room, Gitana handed Chase a Dos Equis and smiled weakly. “Sorry about that,” she said.

  “No, it was entirely my fault,” Chase said. She took a pull on her beer and felt better.

  “By the way, I don’t think you’re losing your lezzie at all,” Gitana said.

  “Thanks.”

  Lacey and Jasmine came over. “I’m so sorry we’re late. I had to check things out with the film crew. It appeared they wanted a better backdrop for the panel. They said the community bulletin board was too busy looking so we had to pull it down and repaint the wall a light shade of gray.”

  “You had to paint a wall.” Chase was incredulous.

  “Believe me it was the fastest paint job ever,” Jasmine said. She pulled a strand of Lacey’s hair to get a paint globule off.

  “How is everyone doing, anyway?” Lacey inquired, looking at Ellen and P.H. talking to Stella, who appeared gracious. Delia and Graciela were chatting with Alma and Lily, and Isabel and Peggy were laughing in the corner.

  “Well, P.H. attempted to seduce me in the kitchen, and Gitana and I got caught fucking in the library,” Chase said.

  “We always miss all the good stuff,” Jasmine whined.

  Lacey looked mortified, which was what Chase intended. “I bet Lily would find that socially unacceptable.”

  “She did, as she was one of the people standing in the doorway,” Chase retorted. “But let’s not tell Donna. She’s already having a rather stressful evening,” she said, glancing at Donna, who was discreetly talking on the phone in the hallway.

  “Well, I certainly hope dinner goes off better,” Lacey said as Stella informed everyone that it was ready.

  Dinner did not go off well. P.H. was lurid, Ellen was naïve and Donna was fretful. Graciela and Delia listened with delight as Lily recounted her former life as a person with socially unacceptable proclivities. It was better than a reformed alcoholic or a criminal turned Christian. “Then, you see, it really wasn’t nice to shred her thesis paper and stick it in the coconut cream pie, but my sister’s whole superior attitude about getting her doctorate was disgusting.”

  “She didn’t have another copy?” Delia asked incredulously.

  “I don’t have copies of my work, just a notebook,” Chase said.

  Gitana leaned over and took her hand. “I promise never to shred your manuscript and serve it for dessert.”

  “Dear child, this was in the pre-tech era and typewriters were the only method of providing a printed document. It was not possible to do multiple copies unless you used a copy machine, which was expensive.”

  Stella entered the conversation. “And smelled of noxious blue ink.”

  “Dittos, they called them,” Peggy piped in.

  Chase glanced over at P.H. and at Ellen who was hanging on P.H.’s every word. She’d have Ellen in bed in a matter of hours and then break her heart in the same amount of time. Chase hoped it would be after the panel discussion. Chase wished a yeast infection on P.H. and then realized that was another socially unacceptable faux pas. Then she decided she didn’t care. It would serve her right—the evil lesbian.

  “Don’t you remember all the White Out you had to use to get rid of typing errors,” Stella said.

  “Or you had to retype the whole page,” Alma added.

  The rent-a-staff waiter brought out the gazpacho and Indian fry bread. Chase stuck with the fry bread as the peppers in the gazpacho were sure to turn her stomach into a minefield of gastric warfare.

  Isabel leaned over and whispered to Chase, “I’m a born and bred New Mexican, but I can’t eat this stuff without having a blowout.”

  “Stick with the fry bread, the cheese platter and the blackened trout,” Chase advised. She hoped that her mother’s idea of local cuisine would also give P.H. the shits to go along with the yeast infection.

  The minute that dinner was completed and despite the pleas of Donna, Chase grabbed Gitana, bid her mother goodbye to which she paid little or no attention as she was talking to Isabel, who did acknowledge her departure.

  “Had enough?” Isabel said coyly. “Don’t worry, I’ll take notes.”

  Once in the car, Chase sighed deeply and put her head on the steering wheel. Gitana took her hand. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

  “It’s even more horrible than I thought. I can’t believe Lacey talked me into it.” Chase moaned.

  There was a tap tap on the window and they both jumped.
Chase peered out. “Speak of the devil.” She let the window down. “I’m not really in the mood to see you right now,” Chase said in what she thought was a diplomatic fashion.

  Lacey pouted. “What’s wrong? I thought you did great, well, with the exception of the library thing.”

  “I don’t like my peers.”

  “Ellen is nice,” Lacey ventured.

  “She’s going to be a meat sandwich for that pariah you call a linguist. She’s more like a cunnilinguist.”

  Lacey sighed. “I am trying to disengage that particular time bomb.”

  There was some shuffling around and giggling on the front lawn. “Shit!” Lacey said, and with a move that would have made a Navy SEAL proud she jumped in the backseat. “Let’s go for a drive around the block.”

  “Lacey, we’re going home. I’m not up to having any more discussions or whatever you’re up to.”

  “Just one turn around the block, quick.” She ducked down in the seat.

  “Lacey, it’s dark and we have tinted windows,” Gitana said, in her best soothing-a-small-child voice. “Now, why don’t you tell us what’s wrong?”

  “Can’t we just drive for a minute?”

  “All right,” Chase said. “One turn around the block and I mean it.” She started the car and pulled out of the drive. “Okay, start talking.”

  “I’ve got a huge problem, well, two huge problems and one of them is your fault.”

  “What the hell did I do? I don’t want to do this thing and now that I reconsider I don’t have to.”

  “You wouldn’t!” Lacey hissed.

  Gitana, ever the mediator, said, “Just tell us the problems and we’ll group-solve.”

  “Everyone except Jasmine and Chase wants to open the conference. Ellen, I can probably talk out of it although she does have her point about being the beginning of developing gayness with her stories. Delia feels that as a delegate of New Mexico she should open the conference which is a good point and P.H. is simply being an egotistical cunt.”