The Mad Kyoto Shoe Swapper and Other Short Stories

by Rebecca Otowa

  By our Staff Reporter

  “UNCLE TRASH” HOME TO APPEAR ON TELEVISION

  Yomitori News, June 17

  Mr. Kenzo Nishimura, known locally as “Uncle Trash,” will have his home featured in an episode of the popular show Hoarders Banzai on Yomitori Television at the end of this month.

  The show picks out the home of a well-known hoarder and a cleanup crew goes into the house, getting rid of all the trash, and doing any necessary repairs. The shows always end with the hoarder in tears, thanking the show’s host and saying they never could have done it on their own.

  This newspaper has discovered that Mr. Nishimura’s home was put up for the show by his son-in-law, Mr Yuji Kanemoto, who lives nearby. After reading our previous article (May 20), Mr. Kanemoto agreed to speak to our reporter about the decision to put the house on TV.

  “We are concerned about Grandpa,” he said. “He can barely turn around in that house, there is so much trash.” He indicated that another reason he contacted the TV show was that the station pays “thank-you money” to the person who submitted a house for consideration. “We are going to get two hundred thousand yen for this,” said Mr. Kanemoto. “We will use it for Grandpa’s medical bills.” He did admit that so far, Mr. Nishimura has had no major medical problems. “It’s for the future,” he explained.

  The cleanup will be filmed on June 27 and will be televised at 7:30 pm on July 10, on Yomitori Television.

  By our Staff Reporter

  TV FILMING OF HOARDER’S HOME IN SETAGAYA

  Yomitori News, June 28

  The home of the well-known Setagaya hoarder, “Uncle Trash,” was cleaned out today by the film crew of the popular TV program Hoarders Banzai. The entire neighborhood turned out to watch the cleaning and filming (see photos, page 12).

  Mr. Kenzo Nishimura, the famous “Uncle Trash,” was conspicuous by his absence. His son-in-law, Mr. Yuji Kanemoto, said he had treated him to a weekend at a hot spring resort. Mr. Nishimura is expected to return to his home on the first of next month.

  Twelve dumpsters had been filled to the brim by the time the cleanup, which lasted all day, was finished. Cleanup crew members were quoted as saying they were grateful that “Uncle Trash” didn’t have any organic waste in his hoarded trash, so there was little unpleasant smell. The vast majority of the trash was old paper. Next most numerous were old clothes, followed by plastic items of various types. Mr. Kanemoto, Mr. Nishimura’s son-in-law, who remained on the scene from start to finish, said he was unaware of any valuables kept in the home.

  After the cleanup, the TV crew moved some new furniture into the house, including a flat-screen TV and a sofa and chairs. A brand new bed has replaced Mr. Nishimura’s old futons. This is a service provided by the TV show, in addition to the two hundred thousand yen “thank you money” given to Mr. Kanemoto as the applicant.

  “Grandpa will be very surprised and pleased by the result of the cleanup,” said Mr. Kanemoto. “It looks like a completely different house.”

  The TV crew will return to the house on July 1 to film Mr. Nishimura’s reaction to the cleanup.

  By our Staff Reporter

  MAN HOSPITALIZED AFTER NEIGHBORHOOD FRACAS

  Yomitori News, July 2

  In Setagaya Ward yesterday, an elderly man was hospitalized after he went berserk and tried to assault several people.

  Mr. Kenzo Nishimura, the popular local “Uncle Trash” figure, returned to his home yesterday after several days’ vacation in the Karuizawa hot spring resort. During his absence, his sonin-law, Mr. Yuji Kanemoto, supervised the televised cleanup of Mr. Nishimura’s home, which had become silted up with decades’ worth of trash. He said he had intended it as a surprise for his father-in-law.

  The TV crew returned yesterday to film Mr. Nishimura’s reaction to his newly cleaned house, which had also been spiffed up with several new pieces of furniture, courtesy of the TV station.

  Unfortunately, when Mr. Nishimura entered his house and saw the changes, he became confused and violent, screaming “My children! You have taken away my children! Where are they?” and punching everyone within reach. The assistant producer of the show, Mr. Seiji Ito, received a black eye, and the film crew barely managed to save their video camera from breakage. After some minutes, Mr. Nishimura, who was bleeding from the nose, was subdued by an ambulance crew and driven to a nearby hospital.

  Interviewed by this reporter, Mr. Ito said, “We certainly didn’t expect this kind of reaction. Most people who appear on our show are very happy to have their houses cleaned. We have decided not to air the film of Mr. Nishimura’s negative reaction to the cleanup. Instead, we will feature Mr. Kanemoto, who gave us a final interview thanking us for our help in cleaning and arranging his father’s home.” The follow-up TV show will be aired on July 10.

  By our Staff Reporter

  “UNCLE TRASH” IS AT IT AGAIN

  Yomitori News, December 12

  Readers will recall the story of “Uncle Trash” of Setagaya Ward, whose house was featured in the TV series Hoarders Banzai in July of this year. After the house was cleaned in his absence, Mr. Kenzo Nishimura returned from a vacation to find his house transformed. He thereupon became agitated and had to be hospitalized, finally returning to the house on July 5.

  Since then, Mr. Nishimura has redoubled his efforts to collect trash and store it in his home. He has even been observed by neighbors carting off stacks of old newspapers left for the recycler.

  Mr. Nishimura declined to comment when approached by our reporter, so his son-in-law, Mr. Yuji Kanemoto, was interviewed instead. Mr. Kanemoto appeared disappointed that the hoarding has continued and even escalated after the televised cleanup in the summer. “I really thought Dad would turn over a new leaf,” he said. “But at this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if the house is full again by the end of the year.” Mr. Kanemoto further intimated that because his father-in-law was becoming senile, and might pose a danger to himself and others, he would be moved into his son-in-law’s house early in the New Year. The present house, he said, would be sold. Mr. Kanemoto expects to get a good price for the house, as it has achieved a certain fame due to being the focus of a TV program.

  When last seen, Mr. Nishimura was dragging a fresh load of old newspapers into his house by the front door. He declined to be interviewed, and shut the door in the cameraman’s face.

  By our Staff Reporter

  MYSTERIOUS MIDNIGHT BLAZE AND DEATH OF SETAGAYA RESIDENT

  Yomitori News, December 27

  In Setagaya Ward last night, firefighters responding to a call at 11:57 pm arrived to find a blaze in the entranceway of the house of well-known hoarder Mr. Kenzo Nishimura, otherwise known as “Uncle Trash.” The fire was extinguished within minutes.

  However, once the fire was out, the body of Mr. Yuji Kane-moto, the resident’s son-in-law, was discovered lying face down in the entranceway, buried under a huge mound of old newspapers. He appeared to have been overcome by fumes, as his body was not burned at all.

  Police say the investigation is likely to bring a result of “death by misadventure.” They postulate that Mr. Kanemoto was entering the house to check on Mr. Nishimura, made a wrong step, and brought the high stacks of old newspapers down on himself. They are still investigating the cause of the fire.

  Mr. Nishimura was seen carrying old newspapers into his house at sunset yesterday, but now he seems to have disappeared. If anyone in the neighborhood has any information, the police ask that they contact the station immediately.

  By our Staff Reporter

  Watch Again

  Osaka Station is full of noise, right up to its big domed roof. Roar of trains coming and going, screech of brakes, scurrying feet of commuters, jumbled PA voices. Halfway down the platform, Yuko is waiting to board the train that will take her home. She’s a tall, slim, fresh-faced girl in her late twenties, wearing white, her hair tied back with a couple of loose strands moving gently in the breeze created by all this commotion.r />
  The train arrives and the doors slide open with a hiss. Standing room only, as usual. Yuko is glad that tonight she got off early from her job, and will have a peaceful evening without rushing through her dinner and bath. She can feel her body relaxing into the pleasantly unstructured time ahead. She stands easily in the aisle of the train, midway between the doors, holding one of the plastic handles affixed to the seat backs.

  She scans the occupied seats around her, determining with a practiced eye if any of the nearby seated passengers are making preparations to get off at the next station. Suddenly, her ears roar with shock as she sees a familiar head in the window seat in the next row up. It’s actually only the back of the head she sees, but that’s enough. She’s married to it, after all. That’s Hiroshi, her estranged husband. She hasn’t seen him in a month.

  All Yuko’s defenses go up. She spins a cloak of silence around her, stepping back into the role of the anonymous commuter that she assumes twice a day. She wills herself to think like a commuter, planning her solitary dinner and considering the lineup of TV shows on offer that evening.

  But what’s he doing? It looks as if he has pushed his mobile phone into the backrest cover of the seat in front, and is watching some kind of video. Tiny white cords snake from the phone to his ears. He’s got his arms crossed, slouching in the seat.

  In spite of herself, Yuko is curious. Holding her breath, she moves a tiny bit forward, and focuses on the screen of the mobile phone, partially obscured by the white stretchy material of the seat cover. The video finishes and “Watch again” flashes on the screen. Hiroshi leans forward and touches it, then settles back again. Yuko strains to see.

  It’s an indoor scene, an amateur cameraman shooting between large, out-of-focus shoulders. Three people stand together in the middle distance, their clothes black on the right, white on the left … It’s a wedding. The figure in the middle, a portly man, raises his hand and the couple, now resolved into the bride and groom, lean toward each other in a kiss. There’s a flurry on the screen as people around the cameraman begin to applaud. The newly married couple turn to face their audience, and raise their joined hands like people who have won a race, their faces radiant.

  It’s Yuko and Hiroshi. It’s the video of their wedding, taken by Hiroshi’s friend Daiki.

  The video ends, the “Watch Again” logo flashes on the screen, and again Hiroshi leans forward. Yuko watches as he plays the video over and over. The little clip, barely two minutes long, keeps repeating. Then Yuko notices something else. Hiroshi’s hands have crept up to his face as he watches, and are pressed against his cheeks. Could he be crying? Suddenly she comes to with a start, realizing that her station is approaching.

  She goes to the door behind her so she won’t pass Hiroshi on her way out, and leaves in a rush. Her mind is in a whirl, remembering, recalling.

  “Hi. This class is really interesting, isn’t it?”

  “I like it.”

  “And the teacher is so entertaining. You never know what she’s going to say next.”

  “Yes. Say, I’ve seen you in some other classes. Are you a first-year student?”

  “Sociology. My name’s Yuko, by the way.”

  “I’m Hiroshi. So, where are you from, Yuko?”

  “Oh, I’m a city girl. From Moriguchi in Osaka. How about you?”

  “Oh, you probably commute to school. I don’t, I have an apartment. I’m from all the way up in Tohoku—Aomori.”

  “Heavens! That’s where the apples come from, isn’t it?”

  “Well, yes, although my parents are rice farmers.”

  “Here comes the teacher. Want to get lunch today?”

  “Um—all right.”

  “Wait for me after class. I’ll see you at the front door.”

  “Hello, Yuko.”

  “Hi, Hiroshi. Thanks for last night. I had a really good time.”

  “Well, I thought we ought to mark our anniversary. A month since the day we met!”

  “Time flies when you’re having fun! Anyway, the movie was great. Really made me think. I enjoyed our discussion afterwards, too.”

  “It’s nice to talk to someone from the heart. I haven’t had that experience much.”

  “I think communication is so important between friends.”

  “And that’s just what we are. Coming to class?”

  “Hi, Hiroshi. How are the finals going?”

  “Well, I think I did okay on the English exam. How about you?”

  “I did all right, but I know my reports won’t be ready on time! So much work … I’m so tired. Do you mind if we just stay in tonight?”

  “Your place or mine?”

  “Mine—okay? We’ll order in some sushi or something.”

  “I’m so glad you moved into your own apartment. It’s nice to have a choice of places. Are you feeling all right now?”

  “Yes, I just don’t feel like going out anywhere.”

  “You know … what would be really nice … ”

  “What?”

  “Being together all the time.”

  “I have to say, I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

  “I feel so easy with you … I can say anything, do anything. I think I want that all my life.”

  “Well, it’s only a few months till graduation. When we find jobs, we can think about getting married.”

  “You’re so practical. I love that about you. Come here.”

  “Hiroshi! Wait until we get home. People are watching!”

  Yuko climbs the steps of the station and passes through the wicket to the street. They were so happy at first! The only shadow on their budding relationship had been cast by meeting his parents. That long, long train trip with Hiroshi, the dark cavernous old-fashioned house, the bugs, oh my god, the bugs! His father, a blunt, close-mouthed old man, never saying a word unless he was barking out orders. “Get me some beer! This beer’s not cold! Get me some tea! Get the bath ready!” His mother, scurrying around with an unreadable face, doing her husband’s bidding. A house with no humor and definitely no heartfelt communication. No wonder Hiroshi had been so hungry for it.

  And the wedding. All their friends from university and their jobs were there, her colleagues from the clothing outlet, his from the electronics company. Beautiful wedding hall, everything just as they wanted it—and in the middle, crouching like a couple of spiders, his parents. Dressed in their decades-old finery, glaring about them at all the newness and what they obviously judged to be profligate spending, without a word to anyone except during the formal toasts. Even the presence of Hiroshi’s brother and a few relatives did nothing to diminish their fish-out-of-water awkwardness. Yuko’s parents had been dumbfounded. They liked Hiroshi and were glad their daughter had found someone she loved to be married to. They couldn’t understand why his parents did nothing but scowl. It was the country way, Hiroshi whispered to his bride, not to show feelings of happiness lest the people around you feel insulted or jealous. Hard work and endurance had always been the order of the day for them. The two sets of parents would never be able to understand each other.

  The first year of the marriage was mostly fine. Hiroshi sometimes talked in a disappointed way about how Yuko didn’t get pregnant. She herself didn’t want a child right away, she wanted to continue with her absorbing work a little longer before starting a family, but it seemed he was a bit old-fashioned in his thinking. This was one thing they had never really discussed, although they had talked about every other subject under the sun during their courtship and engagement.

  Then the time of uneasiness and silence began. She winces as she recalls how uncomfortable their relationship suddenly became.

  “I’m home.”

  “Hi, Hiroshi. We’ve got roast chicken tonight!”

  “… ”

  “Your favorite. How was your day?”

  “Nothing special …”

  “I’ve had such a tiring day … my boss asked so many questions! Here you go. Do you want a
beer with your dinner?”

  “This chicken came from the shop across the street, didn’t it?”

  “Well, yes. I just got home myself a half hour ago. I didn’t have time to cook.”

  “No time to cook …”

  “I’m home.”

  “Hi, Hiroshi. How was your day?”

  “What’s for dinner?”

  “Sushi.”

  “…”

  “How was your day?”

  “Lots of problems. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Here you go. Want a beer? I’m having one.”

  “What? You didn’t cook again? No cooking, no babies … what kind of wife are you?”

  “Oh, Hiroshi. How can you say that? You know I work as hard as you do.”

  “…”

  “I’m home. Sorry I’m late.”

  “…”

  “Hiroshi? I’m sorry I’m late. We had a meeting at work and it went on so long …”

  “…”

  “Here’s some croquettes from the butcher. You know you like them.”

  “Where have you been?”

  “I told you. We had a meeting. If it comes to that, why are you home so early?”

  “…”

  “Well? This is the first time you’ve been home before nine this month.”

  “Don’t ask me. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Well, here’s your dinner. We can have that salad from yesterday with it.”

  “…”

  “Do you want a beer? Hiroshi? Hey! What are you doing! Look at this mess! Our dinner, all over the floor!”

  “You never cook for me! Why don’t you ever cook for me?”

  “Stop it! What’s gotten into you?”

  “…”

  “Okay. I’m not staying here if that’s how you’re going to be. I’m going to my sister’s. Get your own dinner.”

  “Yuko! Telephone for you!”

  “Hello?”

  “Yuko? It’s Hiroshi.”

  “What makes you think I want to talk to you?”

  “Please, just hear me out.”

  “What’s the matter with you these days?”