Pretty Little Dreams

by Jennifer Miller

  He takes turns feeding me a bite, and then himself one. The fact we are sharing one spoon is very intimate and I’ve never felt closer to him. Something around my heart crumbles just a little and I feel compelled to tell him something.

  He offers me another spoonful, which I accept. When he digs into the pint again to scoop another, I blurt, “I dreamed of you.”

  His eyes shoot to mine and his brow furrows, “What?”

  I take a deep breath, “I dreamed of you,” I repeat, “when I was taken.” His eyes widen at my words and he doesn’t move. I’m not even sure if he breathes. “When things were hard…” I look away and at my lap. My eyes well up and I sniff, trying to keep my tears from falling.

  I jump a little when I feel his fingers at my chin, pushing it up until I move my eyes to meet his again. His hold mine steady and as one tear escapes down my cheek, he leans in and catches it with his lips. I close my eyes, reveling in the feel of his lips on my cheek. He pulls away and I open my eyes slowly to connect with his once again. He steadies me. He centers me. He makes me feel whole, even when I don’t know if I’ve ever been more broken. In his eyes, I know I’m anything but, and that gives me the strength to continue.

  “When things were hard and I was afraid I would never get out of there, I used to dream of you. I think it varied between day dreams and dreaming while sleeping, but they were always the same.”

  He swallows audibly and I watch his Adam’s apple bob. “What did you dream?”

  I smile then, because even in the middle of darkness and Deacon’s madness, dreams of Luke brought peace, light, and hope. “I dreamed that you and I had a home.”

  “A home?”

  “Yes. A big one, with a wraparound porch, and even a picket fence.”

  “What would we be doing?” he asks softly - like he’s afraid I will stop talking if he talks too much, or too loud.

  I look off to the side as if it will help me envision it once again, “We would always be sitting on the porch rocking in chairs.”

  “Rocking in chairs? Were we old and decrepit?”

  I smile again and laugh softly, looking at the way his lips turn up at the corners, “No, we were just as we are now. It was always fall, and the leaves were amazing shades of orange and red. The sunset made the sky look like it was on fire, and we had blankets covering us. My feet sat in your lap, and you would be rubbing them, of course…”

  “Of course,” he agrees.

  “And I would scratch our dog behind his ear.”

  “We have a dog?”

  I nod, “Yes, a golden retriever, named Dakota,” I state matter-of-factly, making him smile, “And sometimes…” I pause, uncertain of continuing.

  “Sometimes?” he prompts.

  “Sometimes,” I whisper, as if talking loud will make the memory disintegrate, “while we were sitting there, I would look out into the yard, and under a tree would be two dark-haired little children. They had their heads together and would be whispering thick as thieves as they sat in a pile of leaves telling secrets.”

  “Children? Our children?”

  “Yes,” I whisper looking at him. “You know, it was just a daydream.”

  “You want children with me? And a house? And a dog?”

  I smile at him, reach out and touch his cheek. “More than anything.”

  He places the ice cream and spoon to the side and moves closer to me, capturing my lips with his. When he opens his mouth and I respond, he sweeps his tongue inside and I taste the sweetness still lingering on his lips. When he pulls away, he looks at me, “I want that with you too, Livvie. So much sometimes it hurts.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes,” he states emphatically, without hesitation. “Sometimes it still feels like a dream. I thought I had lost you forever. This second chance with you is everything to me. You’re my everything. I don’t let a day go by that I don’t say a prayer in thanks that I get to hold you in my arms again.”

  “I feel the same way.” I place a small kiss on his lips.

  He pushes me onto my back and lays on his side next to me, the ice cream forgotten. “Thank you for telling me about your dream.”

  My brow furrows at his words, “What?” he asks reading me well.

  “I know I haven’t talked much about what happened…”

  “Livvie - ”

  “No, let me say this. It isn’t because I don’t want to tell you or I don’t trust you or anything like that. It’s just because it’s hard. Sometimes I feel like it is physically impossible to even get the words past my lips. My throat feels like it’s closing and my chest feels tight. It’s easier to push it away than to try and talk about it.”

  “That sounds like a panic attack, love,” he states gently, as if afraid he will worry me. “That isn’t something you should ignore.”

  “I know. You’re right. And I realized something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “The dream that I had about us? That’s my greatest wish, Luke. A life with you. If I can’t get past this and start healing, I’ll never truly be able to make my dream a reality. I will keep letting fear hold me back and it will come between us.”

  “That won’t-“

  “Yes, it will. I’m tired of having that man be a ghost in the room with us all the time. I know it is hard not knowing where he is and I do still think that the right thing has been to move forward and to continue on with our lives. But, I also think it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist about my kidnapping.”

  “You would do that?”

  “Yes, on one condition.”

  “Anything.”

  “Will you come with me?” I ask shyly.

  “Yes, of course. I will be happy to take you and wait outside the room for you - whatever you need – I’m here.”

  “No, Luke. Will you go to the therapy sessions with me? Inside. Like, let me lay my head in your lap on the therapists couch,” I smile at the image I created.

  “If that’s what you want, then that’s not even a question. Absolutely. I want to support you every step of the way. Even if you need nothing more than for me to hold your hand – I’m there.”

  “Luke, you are everything to me, I don’t want to lose you. I’ve been so scared to talk to you about what happened because I don’t know what I would do if you were unable to deal with some of the ugliness and move past it all. But suddenly, I realized that not talking to you and being honest, could do the exact same thing. And I realized I was not giving you the benefit of the doubt. You deserve more. You continually love me well and sharing this with you is of the most intimate ways I can love in return. I don’t know if you will be able to deal with this. I don’t know if-” I want to choke on my next words but I force them out anyway, “if you will want to be with me after you know everything, but lying… or always feeling like this is an elephant on my back, something to conceal, to keep from you, is not something I can continue doing. It is not loving you well. And I want that. ”

  Luke places his hands on either side of my face and looks deep into my eyes. They are glistening with his emotions from my words and his lips are tight. “Olivia, there is nothing, absolutely nothing you could tell me that would change the way I feel about you.”

  “Luke, don’t be so sure.”

  “I am sure. I know it. What happened to you was not your fault.” I choke again on my tears at his words, “Tell me something, did you want to go with Deacon?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Did you try to get away?”

  “Every minute,” I whisper, my eyes locked on his.

  “What happened was not your fault,” Luke repeats again slowly this time emphasizing each word. “I can’t even imagine how scared and desperate and sad you had to be. Anything, and I mean anything you had to do or were forced to do,” he pauses and it makes me catch my breath. Does he know? But how could he? “I don’t care about it. Not one bit. If I had the chance I would have told you to do whatever you had to do in order
to come out of there alive, angel. THAT is all I care about. That you came out of there alive.”

  Tears start to fall freely down my cheeks now and he wipes each one of them away with his kisses. “I love you, Livvie. No matter what. NOTHING can change that. Do you understand me?”

  I look in his eyes and I see. I SEE. Somehow beyond the pain that his eyes are reflecting from mine, beyond the concern and his need for me to hear his words, I see love. It’s in the warmth of his eyes, it’s in the way his hands hold my face. It’s in the way his body is conformed to mine, and the way his lips kiss my tears away. It’s in the way he eats my bad food and catches me when I fall. It’s in the way he holds me, kisses me and loves me. It’s there, shining in his eyes and I see it.

  And I believe it.

  22.

  RUDE INTERRUPTION

  Luke

  I wake up to a beautiful woman in my arms and immediately think that I always want to wake up just like this. Last night after we finished talking, Olivia and I made love again. This time, nice and slow. I wanted to again show her with actions, how much I meant my words. I love touching her, watching her move, listening to her sighs, hearing her words of love, seeing her need and satisfaction. She makes me whole, and I can’t get enough of her. I don’t think I ever will.

  I look down at her face, she’s so peaceful in sleep, I love watching her. She slept hard. I woke through the night checking on her like a new father, just wanting to make sure she was okay. Each time she was still in my arms, curled around my body, head on my chest, legs wrapped with mine. I’d pull her closer to me, even though there was already zero space between us, and listen to her sigh in contentment. She’d mumble something unintelligible sometimes, but never fully woke up or had a bad dream.

  I can’t help but run my fingers through her hair. It’s so soft. I think back to our conversation last night, and my chest instantly warms. That spot in my chest aches again, but I know what that feeling is now. It’s my love for her. I can literally feel my chest ache in response to my feelings. It’s an ache I revel in, one I know I’m lucky to feel and one I know I will always feel with her. Only with her. Forever.

  The dream she shared with me - I want to make that happen for her. For us. I can’t look ahead into the future and not see her in it. The thought of losing her, or not having her in my life anymore creates a pain I quickly push away. I refuse to ever let that happen. I will spend my life making her happy; ensuring that she knows without any doubt, that she’s loved, cherished, and safe. Sure, these are thoughts I’ve had before, but each time, I feel them stronger and with more conviction.

  I want to ask her to move in with me. We are pretty much doing that now. We’re never apart anymore. I only go back to my place to get clothes. I know she wants to stay close to Pyper, so I don’t make her choose, I just come here. I wonder if I ask, and she says yes, if she will want to live here together, or if she will want to come to my place. Or maybe we will get out of the city and go to a suburb and find a place of our own. I’ll do whatever she wants. None of the details matter to me. I just want her. Forever.

  Snapping into my thoughts is the ringing of my phone. Olivia stirs, but doesn’t wake completely at the sound. I sigh in relief, hugging her to me at the same time, and ignore the damn thing, just letting it ring. It finally quits and I let out the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding, only to catch it again when my phone again starts ringing. I curse under my breath and glance at the clock on the bedside table and see it’s seven o’clock in the morning. What the hell? Who would be calling me right now? A feeling of unease like a spider crawling down my spine occurs, and I wonder if it could be Deacon calling again.

  “Luke? Is that your phone?”

  I jump a little at her voice then sigh. So much for not waking her. “Yeah. I’m sorry it woke you. I’m not sure who would be calling. I tried to ignore it but I’m pretty sure whoever it is just called again.”

  She lifts her head and covers her mouth with her hand when she yawns. “It’s okay. See who it is. I don’t mind. It must be important.”

  She moves off me, leaving me frowning in displeasure at her absence, but I guess she’s right. Just as she pulls away, my phone starts ringing once more. Apparently, it refuses to be ignored. I get out of bed and head for my pants that are lying in a heap on the floor. I smile a little to myself when I have a brief flashback of how they got there, then yank the phone out of my pocket. “This better be good.”

  “Sir, I’m so sorry to bother you.”

  “Your timing sucks, Brian,” I snap, “what do you want?”

  “I’m sorry again, sir. It’s just, there’s a situation at the club.”

  My brow furrows, “A situation? What does that mean exactly?”

  “There’s a fire.”

  “A fire? What do you mean, there’s a fire? What happened?” I see Olivia sit up in bed and turn towards me at my words.

  “I’m not sure, sir. The alarms went off and since I’m on call, the phone’s forwarded to me. The police and fire department called letting me know about the alarms, and told me they are on their way to the club as we speak. I called you right away; I knew you would want to know. I’m headed to the club now and will fill you in once I get there.”

  “Shit.”

  “Sir?”

  “Sorry. You did the right thing, thanks for letting me know. I’ll be on my way over as soon as I can get there. I’m with Olivia, and don’t want to leave her alone if I don’t have to. I’ll figure something out and be there soon.” Brian knows full well about the situation with Deacon. During his shifts at the club, he saw firsthand how well I didn’t handle it while she was taken. I want to go to Zero Gravity and find out what is going on, but that would mean leaving Olivia here alone, and I’m not willing to do that.

  Olivia, having heard my conversation with Brian, pulled herself into a sitting position and has her hands on her hips. This action made the sheet fall to her hips, giving me a fantastic view. Smiling is not appropriate given the situation, but damn, I can’t help it.

  “Just a second, Brian.” I move the phone to the side, “Any chance you can call Pyper to come here?”

  “Why?”

  “I should head to the club, but I don’t want to leave you here alone,” I admit.

  She rolls her eyes at me, “Luke, that’s ridiculous. You need to get to your club. I will be fine. Stop worrying about me. ”

  Doesn’t she realize that’s not possible? It’s okay, plan B. I will call Max and ask him to head over here, or text Pyper myself. As if reading my mind, she frowns. My eyes slowly travel from the frown on her lips, to her waist where the sheet sits. I would very much like to put my hands all over that amazingly soft flesh of hers again. Right now. My train of thought is interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

  “Luke?”

  My eyes shoot to Olivia’s, “Hmm?”

  “The club.”

  “What? Oh! Shit!”

  “Sir, with all due respect…”

  “What is it, Brian?”

  “Well, I was just thinking, I will go and meet the police and firemen at the club. It may be nothing more than just a false alarm, for all we know. I will handle it and call you when I find out what is going on. You can trust me to handle this.”

  He makes complete sense, “Okay, Brian. Thanks. I owe you one.”

  “Okay, call you soon.”

  Brian hangs up and I turn to Olivia, once again devouring all the flesh that is on display. The fire is quickly removed from my mind. No sense worrying about something that may be nothing. Olivia’s hands are on her hips once again, and she’s giving me a stern look, “Luke, that was silly. You need to go to the club.”

  “I need to be with you more.”

  Olivia bites her lip and I lick mine in response, “You shouldn’t have done that. What if it’s serious and the club burns down?”

  “It may be nothing. No sense worrying about something I can’t control. I have insurance. I
’m not going to worry until I know more.”

  “Okay, I guess you’re right. He may call back and tell you that you are needed there, any time.”

  I give her my best mischievous smirk, “Then I guess we’d better hurry,” and I dive into bed next to her pulling her on top of me as I land.

  Olivia giggles and I laugh. I roll on top of her and hold her wrists to the side of her head on either side and kiss her with abandon. All thoughts of my previous conversation have fled my mind and as I take one of her nipples into my mouth and hear her whimper, all I care about is this.

  I tease her nipple and release it and make my way back up to her neck, burying my face there. I take in her feminine smell that has a hint of lavender. I release one of her wrists, push her legs open with my knees then grab my cock and slip inside of her with a groan.

  We both reach climax quickly and roll away from one another, catching our breath. My phone starts ringing almost immediately and I’m thinking Brian deserves a bonus for his good timing. I likely wouldn’t have answered the phone had it been a few minutes before.

  I reach for the phone off the bedside table where I placed it. Looking at the screen, I see sure enough, it’s Brian, “Yes?”

  “Boss, you are going to want to come here after all.”

  “Talk to me.”

  “I don’t know. The police and fire department won’t tell me anything since I’m not the owner, but something is going on. They’re talking in hushed tones and won’t let me into the kitchen where the fire originated.”

  “Okay, can you tell how bad the damage is?”

  “I know it is inside the kitchen, and there isn’t any damage other than smoke in the air inside the main part of the club, so it was at least contained to one room.”

  “Well that’s at least something, I guess. Alright, I will leave here in five. See you soon.”